"There's a delicate balance between peace and conflict. It requires all parties to make sacrifices and compromises, and while we may not want to admit it, it requires that some people won't be happy. Peace is never free of conflict, but it is attainable if all parties are wiling to work for it."
-Raviv Levy

TEMPEST

My dreams are crazy tonight as my head tries to wrap itself around both of my options. Here's how I remember them starting:

I was eating dinner with Yuri, and it was pretty much the same exact set up as it was in reality, except that we were up on a pedestal-type of rock ledge. Instead of a dark room, we sat beneath a night sky, and instead of candles, we were illuminated by starlight. Yuri stood behind me, holding my shoulders and kissing my neck. That is, until the whole earth started shaking, and the rock ledge pedestal thing crumbled beneath us. Yuri began to fall to the shaking earth that was splitting open as I watched it quake, but for some reason, I remained suspended above everything.

He reached for me to catch him, and in the dream, I was somehow able to summon a net to catch him, but I didn't just catch him... I also caught my parents, and Neo, and Petra, and Hicksmon, and Esther; and as I caught everything that has ever meant anything to me, the net expanded deeper and deeper into the earth, which—though it had shattered like glass—was now filling in with water from all the cracks.

But the water was weird... it was milky and purple, and as the people I'd caught in my net fell into the water, they arose, purple and soaked, like glistening bruises, and stared up at me with silent death glares. I wasn't sure why they were so angry, until all of the sudden, I fell into the liquid too.

I don't remember if I sank to the bottom or if the water was just a portal or what, but I came through the liquid to find myself on a lonely planet on fire. The sky was dark except for the nearby planets greeting the terrain from space, and the blackness of night and space was striped with smoke that rose from the grey, smoky, barren landscape. Some trees, bushes, and small plants—mostly dry and grey—still burned with orange flames.

"Hello?" I called, but my voice echoed against the planets. It was only me, and as I explored the area, looking for something—anything—else that could be called alive, I stepped into a purple, milky goo. When I tried to pull my leg out of the muck, it seemed to fight back, and form arms that pulled me through the puddle and out onto the other side of the world, where I found myself stuck in the net with my family, Neo, and Yuri, staring up at a star-filled sky, covered in purple.

And I have no idea why, but all their eyes falling on me was more terrifying than any nightmare I've ever had, and I woke up shaking in a cold sweat in my room on the Mayflower.

Now I sit on the foot of my bed, trying to rock away the uneasiness my crazy dreams while also trying to decide what to do: leave the Mayflower but be without my family? Or stay but be without everything I've always known? But also be with Yuri... who is mostly a jerk, but could also be someone that I could learn to forgive. And maybe one day like. And then, one day after that, maybe even love.

There's a knock at my door.

"Come in," I say, though it's barely louder than a whisper.

The door opens, and from the darkness, Neo appears. He's wearing white pajamas, and the sleeveless shirt exposes a tattoo in black ink on his dark skin.

"It's 3 o'clock," he says.

"What's your tattoo of?" I ask, welcoming the distraction from my weird dream and even more upsetting choice in front of me.

"It's my parents' names."

"I don't remember them," I say, patting the empty space on my bed beside me. There's lots of space for him to sit, since I'm still hugging my knees.

"That's because they were never around when you were," he replies, sitting in the space directly beside me. The dip in the bed from his weight tips me toward him, but I'm still cold from my dream, so instead of moving out of awkwardness, I allow his skin to warm mine.

"Sorry," I mutter, both for the loss of his parents and for falling into him.

"It's ok. It's just something to help me remember their lives. There aren't any graves for them or anything, so it's just a little something. That's not why I'm here though... to talk about my parents."

"I know," I whisper, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You haven't made up your mind, have you?"

"No."

"What are you leaning towards?"

"You," I joke. "Get it? Because I'm literally leaning on you."

"Yeah, I get it. Good one."

"Smart ass," I say under my breath.

Before I know what is happening, Neo's index finger is beneath my chin, gently lifting my head from his shoulder, and towards his lips. He kisses me, and his lips are so soft that it's like I'm falling through the earth all over again, only now, the place where I'm going isn't smoky and barren... it's alive and lush. His finger moves from beneath my chin to trace my jawline all the way up to the top of my ear, where the rest of his fingers meet to comb through my hair just enough to hold me in his warm grasp. The shakes have dissipated. The cold sweat has left, and all that remains is warm and fuzzy and confused.

As quickly as our kiss began, it ends, but Neo leans his forehead against mine long enough for both of us to catch our breaths. "Maybe that will help you make up your mind," he whispers.

I want to laugh that he's made my decision even more complicated now that I would be trapped on a ship in space with two guys I could make a life with. But then again... if Yuri would have been fine with me leaving, maybe he will be fine if I find my heart leaning more toward Neo in the future. So what would I really have on Earth anymore? Here I have my parents, I have a future as a political figure on Janus, and I could have a future with one of these people. I would miss Esther, but it's not like I would never see her again. I'd come back one day.

I lean toward Neo's lips and kiss him again. When I break away, I say, "I want to stay here. Even though you just complicated things with your boss, you know."

"Yuri will be fine. It's my life on this ship too, though, and if you were going to leave, I had to do whatever I could to keep you on board. Like you said, who will I be a smart ass with if you're gone?"

"Kiss me again," I say. It's intoxicating, as consuming as the fear I felt in my dreams.

Eventually, he pulls away, and strokes my hair before standing up. "Get some rest. In the morning, we take off."

"Wait," I say, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back down to the bed. "No funny business or anything, but... can you just stay here with me until I fall asleep. I had a pretty weird dream. It wasn't quite a nightmare, I'm not sure what it was, but it's keeping me from getting any sleep."

He smiles with closed lips. "No funny business. You lay down, I'll sit here and rub your back. My aunt used to do that for me when I had nightmares."

"Thank you," I whisper, my heart tied in knots. I'm going to kick myself for staying in the morning when I realize how hard it will be to juggle my feelings for these two guys for the foreseeable future, but in this moment, the warm tingles dancing through my spine are too euphoric to think of any future without the possibility of them.

Neo rubs my back until I drift off to sleep.

***

The next morning, we are all told through the intercom system that we are to lie in our beds, and that hyperbaric chambers will drop from the walls above our beds to keep our vitals at safe levels during take off since we will be using an FTL travel program that has been developed over the past twenty years to launch into space.

I'm already in bed, reluctant to get up out of my fuzzy daze from last night's many romantic moments, so when the chamber closes over me, it's not difficult at all to slip into a dream state for take off. But just before the chamber closes on me, I have a moment of panic: I should try to call Esther again and let her know what I'm doing.

The chamber closes and oxygen mixed with some sort of peaceful sedative fills the space, and I fall asleep with the mental note to call Esther as soon as we are in space. And to find Neo and kiss him again. And to see Yuri. And to apologize to Mom. Being on this ship might have been the best thing for me after all.

***

I definitely do not feel well-rested when I wake up, the chamber already lifted, and the sedative clearing from my system. My room has a window beside my bed, and as I rub my eyes awake, I lift the shade to see if it's really worked, if we are in space.

As soon as my eyes refocus from my restless-looking reflection in the multi-paned window, I see a beautiful swirl of darkness and milky blue, pink, and purple streams in the universe, spotted with stars near and far. I have to catch my breath from the beauty of it all, and then I have to laugh. "Oh my god," I chuckle to myself. "I'm in frickin' outer space." I laugh in disbelief. "This is my life now. I live in outer space. Ha!"

I immediately want to share this with someone, and who better to share this with than my cousin who I made a mental note to myself to call. She'll be so mad at first, but as soon as I describe what I'm looking at right now, she'll forgive me, I know it.

I open one of the nightstand drawers by my bed to grab my mobile. Oh, a Hicksmon number called and left a message already. It must be Esther. Great minds think alike, I think.

I tap on the screen until I am in my voice mail box, and press play on the message.

"Tempest, hi, it's Es. I'm just calling to let you know that I won't be in Hicksmon anymore. My plans changed, because... maybe I'll go to you. I'll make my way to Japan and tell you all about everything that's going on. It's too much to leave on a message. But basically, any of us Perfects might be implanted with explosives that go off when we're too agitated. So keep your cool, ok? I don't know how I will make my way to you, but... I will. I will call you when I get to the next town or settlement or whatever is out there. I'm not bringing my mobile, because then my parents can track me, and I don't want that. Aside from you, I don't want anything to do with our family, so don't say a word to them. I will see you soon. Love you, bye."

I stare out the window at the milky purple waves across the universe, unable to move, my mobile phone still pressed to my ear even though no sound comes out. All the clues piece together in my brain.

Yuri wanted me on this ship, and I was forced to go.

Yuri is a Perfect, like me.

Yuri will explode if he gets upset.

I could upset him, especially if I break his heart.

My family knew, they had to. Why else would they agree to this? Why would anyone agree to this?

Because Yuri's father, the emperor, is calling the shots on this mission, and it's what he wants. We've found peace on Earth, but not in space. Not on Janus yet. Here, we still have a dictator.

And I am the price the world is paying for peace.

I feel like a fool. I let myself believe I could have my cake and eat it too on the Mayflower. I let myself believe that Yuri could really give me a choice, but he offered me an escape and I didn't take it so that I could keep on kissing Neo.

I am such an idiot. And now I am stuck on a vessel that could go up in flames if I hurt Yuri too badly.

All this time, I thought it was my parents who betrayed me. Turns out I was always my own worst enemy.

And now it's too late. This is my reality now: My name is Tempest Becker, and I am the price the world is paying for peace.

***

I am imagining this book not compiled of chapters but of episodes, like a TV series. And as I am imagining it like a series, this is the end of Season One.

Season Two will begin as both Esther and Tempest set off on their journeys--one to close all the space between them, one that will elongate all the space between them.

I hope you are enjoying their journeys so far! Thank you for reading!