Wednesday

After hanging out with Samantha, Lucas and Avan until somewhere after dinner, Senn just wanted to go and hide in bed for a while. He went into the house, greeted his aunt and uncle quickly, and told them he'd be going to bed early. But while climbing the stairs, he heard familiar voices shout at each other.

Not so much in a fight; no, they seemed to argue over a video game that involved shouting 'how do you always get a red shield in second place', 'oh my god I got blown off track again', and a lot more familiar phrases that could only complete the whole Mario Kart experience.

Killian obviously found out of Julian's return to town, and they were in his room, playing the video game he knew so well himself. He was king at Mario Kart. So, when he passed the open door and Killian looked up to see who was there, he already knew he was going to ask him to join.

One game.

As soon as Senn passed the room, Killian waved him in with a goofy smile, as Julian seemed fixated on their race. He was in the lead, while Killian was being carried back on track as Senn stepped into the room.

"Hey, wanna race?"

"I was gonna go to bed, actually," Senn muttered, knowing if he'd sat down in that bean bag, he'd be racing until far beyond bedtime. One of the few advantages of living with their aunt and uncle after losing their parents; they weren't that strict when it came to bedtime when they were having fun together.

"You don't have to stay long. Just help me defeat Julian." Killian gestured towards the screen, where his own kart stood still in the middle of the track, as Julian passed the finish line and started his final lap.

"Which isn't going to work, if you don't try."

Senn smirked as Killian turned around and started his pursuit. He slumped down on the beanbag next to Julian, grabbing a controller while waiting for them to finish their race. He had actually never hung out with Julian at home, and it was weird seeing him in any other situation than drunk or stoned in the treehouse. Or in the least at a party.

Julian and Killian had been friends for years on end, until Killian moved for college over a year ago, and Julian stayed behind in town. But, Senn remembered that much, they kept in touch. So, it wasn't a big surprise Julian visited Killian now that they were both back in town. Though, Killian was back for obvious reasons, and Senn hadn't exactly asked Julian why he returned halfway down his first term in college.

"Are you really as undefeatable as Killian said?" Julian asked, nudging him to gain his attention.

"I guess." Senn shrugged, knowing he was a fairly good player months ago. But he hadn't touched a controller ever since the accident, and he couldn't exactly remember the last time he played videogames—Mario Kart in this case—prior to the accident. It really wasn't the most important thing to try and remember.

"He's really good, give him time to warm up, and he'll beat your ass." Killian excitedly said, starting a new game with Senn as a third player.

And for a while all they did was play Mario Kart—every track from easy to hard—and laugh over accidents or just-in-time items to ruin someone else's race. All the while, Julian kept seeking physical contact in a way that Killian wouldn't notice. But it made Senn nervous, and he wondered if Julian did it simply because he couldn't resist, or because he wanted to distract Senn in an attempt not to lose again.

Because Senn was beating them, easily.

Even if his mind was occupied with replaying the memory of the night and events in the treehouse with Julian the other day.

Killian eventually got a phone call from his best friend Kevin and left the room, while Senn had just been wondering about his feelings for Julian, compared to what he felt for Elio. It was tempting to ask Julian when they'd go back to the treehouse, while on the other side, he wondered what it would be like to go there with Elio. Or anywhere private for that matter.

When Senn looked at Julian, waiting for Killian to return, he found a sad look on his face, and he wanted to make him smile again. Julian had such a pretty smile.

"What's wrong?" Senn asked, putting his controller down.

Julian shrugged, shook his head and sighed. "I have a lot on my mind."

"Does it have to do with your return to town?"

Julian nodded, and when he looked at Senn, he seemed defeated. "Dad got really sick, and he can't work. But insurance is crappy and I had to come home to work and help out. But it's... stressful, to say the least."

"Oh, shit." Senn bit his lip, turning slightly to face him properly. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Probably not," Julian muttered. "It's what made the decision so easy to make. I have to be there, because I might not be able to spend much more time with him. Working to help pay bills is something you just do to help out. Mom needs us to help."

"What about college?"

"I'll go to college once we worked everything out. Maybe community college here in Pine Hill. I don't know yet."

"That really sucks. Does Killian know?"

"He does," Julian said, nodding his head. "He really understands, you know? He would love to go back to college, but you're more important to him." Julian took Senn's hand in his, playing with it absentmindedly. "I really feel better around you, though."

"You do?"

"Yeah... Killian told me you lost a lot of memories, so you might not remember much about us..."

"Some, I guess the first few months."

"Well, to be completely honest? The night before the accident we talked, in the treehouse. We had set some rules, about not getting seriously involved because I was going to leave for college during summer. But that night, we both said we liked each other, and we agreed we would figure out how to handle things."

Senn sucked in his breath, staring at Julian intently. Something inside him already told him he had feelings for Julian to a certain degree. It felt way too good, way too right to lay in his arms. But another part of him just wanted to kiss Elio over and over again.

"I'm back now, so, if you still like me too, we could hang out and see where things go?"

Julian sounded so hopeful and he seemed so vulnerable, that it made Senn's stomach twist. He couldn't possibly break his heart by turning him down. He couldn't possibly do that while he himself didn't even know who he wanted to be with; Elio, or Julian?

So, he did the only thing that felt right in that moment.

"We could hang out, yeah. See what happens."

He just couldn't turn him down. Not like that.

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Love, June