I wake to my neck aching in pain. I slowly gather myself up and stretch out my arms and legs. I haven't opened my eyes yet from morning drowsiness. I hear a grunt just right above me and I rub my eyes from sleep to see what it is. I see Namjoon waking up too. I guess I fell asleep on his lap last night which explains my aching neck.

Namjoon opens his eyes and stretches out his back. I sit up and yawn. He notices me and smiles.

"Hey," Namjoon stands up and laughs. "I guess we fell asleep." I nod and slightly laugh. I look around for my phone and dig into the couch before finding it.

I click my on button and my phone comes to life. I scroll through my feed to see a couple texts from Jungkook, my mom and work. I replay to all of them and shove my phone into my pocket.

Namjoon sits back down and stretches out again. he throws his legs over my lap and lays down.

"I need to go home." I say and try to push his legs off of me. He resists and I'm trapped. "Nope,"

He laugh and grabs me and holds on tight, pulling me down with him.

"Let go," I growl, but end with a laugh. "No,"

Namjoon hugs tighter to where my struggling to break free is weakened. I give up and my body goes weak.

"Why are you like this?" I laugh. I rest my head on his shoulder. His arm that is wraps around my shoulder tightens. "Because I don't want to let you go." He whispers. "But what about Rachel, isn't she coming over soon? Cause if that's the case I need to leave right now-"

"I'm afraid of losing you," Namjoon blurts out.The room goes silent. I didn't expect that. I look down at his face. His eyes are closed, lips parted that light breaths escapes his lips. I study his soft features, looks across his face of the many acne scars, and the imperfections of his complexion. He's absolutely beautiful to me.

Namjoon stirs and slightly opens his eyes. I feel my face heat and I quickly look away. The ends of his lip turns up and lets out a breathy laugh.

"You won't lose me, I'll come back later if you want or we could go to the movies, eat dinner-" I ramble on trying to lighten up the mood. Namjoon reaches to my face and begins to play with my hair. I lean to the touch and smile. "Not like that. I'm afraid you won't talk to me after I'm married."

I let out a laugh unconsciously, but Namjoon still has a serious face. My smile falls and I realize he is being dead serious about this. "Friends aren't meant to last forever,"

Namjoon drops his glaze and refuses to look at me. I know he's frustrated because it is true. It's like in middle school when you make plans with your best friend to do so much after high school, but when high school comes, everything seems to fade. Life bleeds through your life and people change, go to college, get married and move away. Friendships never are built to last.

"But soul mates will.. you just have to find the right one.." I add. Namjoon looks to me. He mumbles something under his breath that I can't understand. I look at him confused, but dismiss it because my thoughts are on how we are here, alone, and in this position.

I open my mouth to say something, but jumped to the noise of a car pulling up to Namjoon's driveway.

"Rachel's here." Namjoon says. He gets up and walks to his folded laundry sitting on the dinning room table. He takes his shirt off and exchanges it with a clean one from the pile

I didn't realize I was staring at him for to long until he catches my glaze. I quickly turn around and grab my stuff. "I'm leaving!"

I grab the door knob and open before Namjoon can protest. Rachel seems to be surprised and jumps to the unexpected view of me. She seems irritated by the fact I was here without her permission to talk to her boyfriend. She glares at me and I smile back with victory.

"Bye Namjoon, see you later," I walk out and head home.

***

It's been weeks since I've talked to Namjoon. With school and a job I don't know if I really have time to talk with friends, even with Jungkook. My school homework is doubling and so are my hours. I try to pace myself, but it seems if I keep myself busy, I won't think about the negatives in my life. Like the fact Namjoon is getting married soon and I'll be heading away to college abroad.

I shake my head, it's for the best. I don't what else to do. I can't keep waiting for Namjoon to come around or have interest in Jungkook who is like a younger brother to me. Rachel doesn't want me around for sure. It seems like their rushing this a bit too fast and maybe it's just Rachel permantley claiming him. I don't know. I'm just counting down the days till graduation.

It's second period and the day has seem to slow down. I'm pulling books in my locker and taking out new ones for my next class. Jungkook arrives next to me and jumps with excitement.

"Guess what happened this morning?" Jungkook grabs my arm and shakes it. I roll my eyes and shut my locker.

"What," I turn to him and reply. Jungkook huffs in frustration. "You have to guess! That's the purpose of 'guess what?'" Jungkook playfully hits my arm

"Okay, I guess it's that girl you like in English?" Jungkook eyes grew big. "Yes! And guess what happened? Guess, guess, guess,"

"She looked at you?" I laughed. I knew. It seems like an reoccurring event ever morning.

"She looked at me! Can't you believe it?" Jungkook cheeks flusters and he falls to the lockers with his hand swiping over his forehead. "For a whole three seconds,"

"Wow three seconds?" I say sarcastically. Jungkook nods in victory. "That's impressive."

"She so beautiful, I think I'm in love." Jungkook sighs. "I thought you were in love with me?"

Jungkook turns his head. "I still like you Sungmin, but not in that way anymore.."

"Did I just get rejected?" I gasp and cover my mouth. Jungkook gigs. He turns his focus to the students walking down the hallway. The girl catches his eyes and he begins to panic.

She approaches closer to us and I elbow him in the side. "Say hi to her."

"No I can't do that!" Jungkook whispers shouts. "Do it." "Fine,"

The girl walks by us and Jungkook clears his voice.

"Hi," he says loud enough to catch the girls attention. She looks at Jungkook and smiles.

"Hey Jungkook," she giggles and waves. Jungkook stands still, frozen and struck. I wave my hand infront of his face and he doesn't move.

"Uhh, Jungkook?" I snap and he jumps, blinking rapily.

"I'm going to follow her, ill see you later Sungmin." He waves goodbye and rushes off.

"Okay?" I say to myself. He's a weird kids. I turn to walk away, but feel a tap on my shoulder. Namjoon stand behind me and waves.

"Hi!" he smiles really wide, letting his dimples point through. I slightly smile up at him and play nervously at the hem of my school uniform. "What's up?"

"I really missed talking to you," he confesses bluntly. My teeth tug at the bottom of my lip till I taste a slight taste of blood. I'm so nervous and my heart is thumping at an irregular pace.

"Me too," I reply. Namjoon takes his book bag off of his shoulders and sets it on the ground. He unzips the top and reaches in, searching around for something important. I peer over with my eyebrow raised wondering what he is doing.

Namjoon finds what he is looking for and pulls out a pink pastel envelope with my name written on the front. I recognize the handwriting. It's Rachel's cursive and gives away it's own neat and gracefulness calligraphy. I have always been in ivy of her penmanship.  

Namjoon smiles and hold out the envelope. "This is for you,"

I take the envelope in my hand and tear the seal off to pull out a neatly designed card with "Save the Date," printed on the front with Namjoon and Rachel's engagement photo of them standing under a cherry blossom tree, holding hands and looking into each other eyes.

"She said yes?" I ask. My voice cracks at the end. "Yeah, she said yes." he says.

I stare down at the card again for what it seems like decades, looking at how good they look together.. Maybe they do belong together and it's just some silly feeling that ill get over when I go into adulthood. Or maybe it's the fact that I have done everything with Rachel and yet she always did everything better than I ever have done. Whatever the reason was, I am slightly ticked. Not at Namjoon, but at Rachel.

"It would mean the world to me if you could come.." Namjoon looks down. "I have also invited you to the reception party the night before the wedding. Please come,"

I look up at Namjoon and then look down at the card. I flip it out to reveal the address and date. My heart sinks when I see the day of the party is the day my flight leaves for my study abroad program in Europe.

"Namjoon," I start. Namjoon looks at me in full interest. He doesn't know I'm leaving, no one does and I would like to keep it that way. I want to leave with no trace and hurt anybody. "I can't make it.."

His eyes go wide and he grabs me by my arm. "What, why?"

"It's.. complicated," I take a deep breath and I know Namjon is still determined to convince me to go. I can't make him feel like I don't support him.

"You have to come! It's the biggest day of my life and you aren't going to be there?" Namjoon looks slightly offended and yet his face fills with panic. "I'm you're best friend Sungmin, please come..." He looks deep into my eyes and I take a long breath out.

"I guess I can make it to the party, but I leave that night and that's final." I want to be there for him but I don't want to be at the moment I will receive the most heart ache. It's not like I had a chance with him anyway, I want to only see him happy. And if marrying Rachel will fulfilled his happiness, then I should be happy too... I guess.

Namjoon smile and grasps me in a hug. I wrap my hands around him for a brief moment and smile.

"That's all the time I need to tell you something very important," Namjoon says and walks away. I stand there confused and shake my head. Namjoon pauses and turns around. "See you at the party!"

_________________________

IM SO SO SO SORRY THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY I FEEL LIKE ITS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN BUT THEN AGAIN I WANT TO FINISH CAUSE YOU GUYS WILL BE SUPRISED WHAT I HAVE FOR THE END and maybe I'll edit the whole thing so things make since and connect cause it's been awhile so hello :) how have you been? Ive been well, alot of things has happened in my life which makes it difficult to update but hopefully soon I'll get back into things and update for you guys because I love you. But for now, thanks for the support im truely thankful.