**Viewer discretion is advised for this chapter, for it has description of self-harm.**

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After a few weeks, Wei Ying's core was back to it's normal state as it was before he have his last one up. He had never felt so happy before. He is able to cultivate again and he was back at Lan Zhan's level. He was so thrilled he didn't know what to think.

Lan Zhan had asked Wei Ying if he wanted to go to Gusu with him to see the other Juniors, as there will be sects coming again for their bi-yearly lecture visits. Wei Ying would have a chance to see them again of course and to see Jin Ling again. He would meet with a man who he was not sure how to act around, Lan Qiren, and he would see Lan Xichen again. They did not part on the best of terms either. Wei Ying forgave him for his words as he would have done the same in his shoes.

'I deserved those words, I might even be Lan Zhan's biggest mistake," Wei Ying thought to himself.

He never let those words go. He hurt Lan Zhan in the past, it did not matter how hurt he himself was, Wei Ying did not care, he hurt the one person who had always been on his side. He agreed to go but he was nervous to go. As it was late, Wei Ying sat outside by the spring getting some fresh air. He had a dagger in his hand and rolled his left sleeve up. The twang of the cold blade against his skin was so similar to him.

"Only mistake," Wei Ying whispered with a slice across his arm.

"Lan Zhan's mistake," he whisper some more and pierced his skin with the dagger once more.

The pain felt nice. It reminded him of who he was and of who he should be, a nobody. He made one final pass of the blade across his arm, not realizing he cut almost too deep, but the pain felt good to him. He took the dagger and wiped it on his black robes before hiding it back in his boot.

"A'Ying?" Baoshan called out making Wei Ying quickly push his sleeve down and hiding his arm in his lap.

Baoshan had noticed Wei Ying was not in the cottage. Wen Ning had even informed her that he want out for a walk but warned her of his self-harming past. Hearing that she grew concerned. When he appeared in her vision, she could see the tears glistening under the moonlight. She walked over and sat beside him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" She asked gently.

Wei Ying cried harder and shook his head. He was never one to open up so easily. He never has someone care enough to notice or ask since Wen Qing was around. Wen Ning knew of his habits but kept it to himself only until needed. If something was wrong with Wei Ying, especially if it is physical, he can feel it himself. The part on Wei Ying that was hurt, Wen Ning could feel it. When he felt the sharp pain gliding down his arm, he knew Wei Ying was in trouble, which is why he spoke to Baoshan.

"You can talk to me," she told him, "you don't have to hide anything from me."

"I want to, but I can get the words out," he said.

Baoshan placed two fingers on his forehead and they flowed red. She was gathering all the information that had happened to him since he was young in a matter of a couple minutes. It was her version of empathy. She had been given so many things about what happened and it seemed so out of order. She needed to know exactly so she can help him. Once she got to the memory that happened only moments before she walked over she gasped. She grabbed his arm carefully and pulled his sleeve up.

"A'Ying," She said concerned, "I knew you were hurting but I didn't know it was this much."

Wei Ying sobbed, "I don't know what to do, please help me," he begged.

Baoshan pulled him into a tight hug for a moment before helping him up and brought him inside, "I will, but you have to let Wangji help you too. How is he to know how you are feeling if you don't say something?"

"I don't want to hurt him," he answered.

"You'd rather have all the pain to yourself?" She asked as she started cleaning his arm.

Wangji woke to find Wei Ying no where to be seen. He went to the door to go look around but heard Baoshan talking.

".....you have to let Wangji help you too. How is he to know how you are feeling if you don't say something?"

"I don't want to hurt him," he answered.

"You'd rather have all the pain to yourself?"

Wangji knows eavesdropping is bad but when he heard his name he was curious, but found it more worrisome some he heard Wei Ying speak.

"Everyone says we are soulmates, and I am happy that we are, but I don't deserve him," Wei Ying said, "I can't stop those words in my head and feel like they are true. I hurt so many people and he was one for them. Yet he still chooses a nobody like me. I am his biggest mistake, that is what his brother told me..I feel like I am."

"A'Ying, you are so hurt you don't even realize how bad it is getting," Baoshan said, "this cut here, it is almost too deep. What if it became more serious. If something happens to you, because of the bond, he will die too. I don't want that to burden you more but please think about things a little bit. You are not a nobody. You are a selfless soul who has been hurt more than anyone else in the cultivation world. Not a single one of them had even the nerve to say a simple, I'm sorry. It may not bring back those you lost but an apology can help you a lot more then you realize."

Lan Zhan had no idea that he had been hiding this hurt. He knows that Wei Ying is good with putting up a facade. He knows how wounded Wei Ying is and it never occurred to him that he was hurting himself because of the pain people caused him. He had tears falling as he sat down on the bed. I wanted to strangle everyone who hurt him, including himself. Though, Lan Zhan had nothing to blame himself for, he was there, there were misunderstandings and mistakes, but there was never a time he would leave him.

Lan Zhan couldn't take it anymore, he got off the bed and rushed out to Wei Ying pulling him into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry," he said, "I never meant to hurt you and you are not a nobody. You mean everything to me."

"Wangji," Baoshan said placing her hand on his shoulder. Wangji pulled away and did what she had done to Wei Ying. She gathered all the information up to this point, "seems to me that neither of you have any idea of anything between the two of you. You never hurt Wangji to begin with Wei Ying, and Wangji had never hurt you either. There were just people who fed you both so many stories that you don't know what to think."

"What do we do?" Lan Zhan asked.

Baoshan gave Wei Ying, Lan Zhan's memories and then gave Lan Zhan, Wei Ying's memories, "look through those memories and tell me if you think either of you are at fault for hurting each other?"

They sat there for a moment searching and they realized, there was nothing. Wangji mourned for him and that was not Wei Ying's fault and he had no reason to blame himself. Wei Ying was driven to kill himself because the clans were just too much on him. Lan Zhan was influenced by his clan's principles and had a hard time going past them.

"Now do you see?" Baoshan asked, "you two have been manipulated and tortured. You two belong together more than you realize. A'Ying, Wangji and help you just and you can help him. The pain you feel will heal. You just need support."

"If you are not comfortable going to Gusu, you do not have to," Wangji told him.

"I should go, I won't get past these demons of mine if I don't face them," Wei Ying said, "I should face them. Tell people how badly they hurt me."

"They deserve to know the truth, Wei Ying," Baoshan said, "and I have just the way to do it, and you can see people who have passed. This healing will bring them back."

"What is that?" Wei Ying asked. With a snap of her fingers, they were in a large room with a bunch of seats and tables. There was even a large white wall in the front, "What is all this?" Wei Ying asked.

"These clans, all those people, they are going to see just how much they hurt you both," she said, "they will see it all, hopefully you don't mind your relationship out in the open either."

"We haven't done anything to x-rated," Wei Ying said and saw his two sons and Wen Ning comfortably seated at a table, "let's go sit beside them and wait for them to arrive."

"They will be pissed for being interrupted but they will get over it," Baoshan said standing in the front while Wei Ying and Lan Zhan sat with the other three.

And with another snap of her fingers, all hell broke lose...