5 months earlier
June

Skye

I couldn't sit around at home any longer. I totally decluttered and redecorated to remove any reminders of Michael. By the time I cleared out his things, selling some stuff, but donating most, I was left with nothing to do each day. So I went back to work.

I knew everyone would stare when I first came back. I was waiting for it. Expecting it to be awkward and for most people to not know how to act around me.

For the most part, everyone held up that expectation.

Everyone except for Alice and Ben. When I walked in from the lift lobby, Alice rushed to me and wrapped me up in a hug. I had seen her and spoken to her during my absence and she attended the funeral. Still, it was nice having a friendly face amongst all the curious eyes.

I kept to myself most of the week. I was quiet in team meetings and didn't speak to anyone besides Ben or Alice on breaks. By Friday, Ben insisted we get after work drinks to celebrate me surviving my first week back.

"I'm going to the bar to get another drink, you two want anything?" I stood from our small table and placed both hands on the table as I stared down my friends, challenging them to match me drink for drink. I was bordering on tipsy, but I felt good. Everything was lighter than it had been in weeks. If I knew drinking would have such an effect, I would have started three weeks ago.

Though I'm sure it was a combination of the alcohol, the music, and the company. I know that drinking alone in a house that held reminders of my dead fiancé everywhere I turned would have been a recipe for disaster.

"I'm good, I'm going to head home soon. Tyson is waiting on me," Alice said, checking the time on her phone. I jutted out my bottom lip, pouting at her. I got it though, I used to do the same thing when I knew Michael was waiting on me to get home.

"Ben?" I fluttered my eyes at him. I needn't have begged though, he was happy to keep drinking. Ben was younger than me, and he would likely meet up with friends later and party all night.

I waited my turn at the bar, watching the staff serve the few people waiting before me.

"What are you drinking?" A deep voice sounded beside me. I turned to see an attractive, well dressed guy leaning with one arm on the bar. I narrowed my eyes, not used to having anyone show me any attention. I'd been a relationship girl for so long, I guess I had put out the energy that I was taken without even intending to.

I scanned my eyes up and down this guy, deducing he was probably a finance guy working in a nearby office in the CBD. The sleeves of his well fitting shirt were rolled up to his elbows, a tattoo peaking out on the right arm that was leaning on the bar in front of me. In the dim lighting of the bar I couldn't see much more than his dark eyes and pretty boy face.

"Uh, I'm buying for my friend and I," I gesture behind me while answering him awkwardly. He glances to our table and nods.

"I noticed you earlier. He's not your boyfriend is he?" The stranger asked, before I saw his eyes zero in on my left hand, his eyes widening slightly. "Or fiancé?"

Confusion washes over me for a moment before I remember I still have my engagement ring on. It was such a habit to wear it that I hadn't even thought to remove it.

"Oh, um no. No, he's a workmate. I'm... I'm not," I shook my head, unable to let the words escape. I hadn't yet said it out loud, despite knowing it in my head. I'm single. Unattached.

Like a bucket of ice water being tipped over my head I realise that if I wanted to, nothing would stop me from going home with this man. A man that I'm that moment was making me feel desired. Wanted for my body in a way I wasn't used to at all. Because hell, Michael didn't make me feel that way for a long time.

I slid the ring off my finger and into my pocket. "I'm single. I was engaged, I'm not anymore," I told him.

"Good to know. I'm Chris," he held his hand out for mine. When I placed my hand in his, he brought it to his lips and kissed it. I couldn't have held back my smile if I tried. His moves were smooth.

"Skye," I disclosed.

The bartender approached us next and asked for our order. Chris speaks up, "Jack and coke and a..."

"Make that two Jack's and a vodka soda please," I amended the order and Chris raised his brow at me.

"I'm still here with my friends, if you want in with me, it would serve you best to buy my friend a drink too."

Apparently that little show of confidence was all I needed. Alice took off when I got back, Chris joined Ben and I for the drinks he purchased. Soon after, Ben got a call from a friend asking him to meet him at another bar. Ben checked I would be ok before leaving me and Chris, who's workmates had also left by now.

Chris and I sat at the bar drinking and chatting. The more we drank, the touchier he got. I still wasn't drunk, just tipsy. I was conscious of being sober enough to be able to make decisions.

I was more than aware of Chris's hand on my thigh and the way his hand was moving higher and higher. I surprised myself when I stood up and leaned down close to his ear. "I'm going to head to the bathroom, then what do you say we get out of here?"

Chris grinned like he had won a prize. "I'll wait here."

It felt hot, my body flushed from the desire in his eyes. The sexual tension had been building over the last few hours. If this wasn't the first time I was willing to be with someone else, I'd almost suggest a quick fuck in the bathroom. But at this point I still had some self dignity about me.

I did my business and stood at the sink gazing at my reflection. This isn't cheating, Michael is dead. There is no reason I can't do this. Probably reasons I shouldn't, but I guess that depends on who you ask.

On my way out of the bathroom I noticed the vending machine on the wall. Tampons, pads, lip gloss, fem fresh wipes and condoms. I nearly pass it by, but then on a whim decide to fish around my purse for a few dollars. I push the button for the wipes and then again for a condom. Better to be safe than sorry right?

I tucked the condom in my purse, and ducked back into a stall to freshen myself up downstairs. When I finally emerged from the bathroom, Chris was waiting for me. He took my hand and directed me out the bar.

"I called us an Uber," he said, checking his phone and then searching the street. He points out a car and we climb in the back.

I probably should have been nervous. I was heading to someone's place who I had only just met. With the intention of having sex. Sounds like the storyline of one of the criminal minds episodes I had spent time binging on recently.

Instead of being worried, I felt exhilarated. I was doing something risky with a purely selfish gain. I was with Michael from the age of eighteen. A one night stand wasn't something I had ever done before and if I'm honest, I was excited.

The Uber ride was short, only fifteen minutes later we pulled up outside a city apartment building. Chris guided me inside the lobby and to the elevator using a card that selected the third floor for him. The moment the elevator doors closed he trapped me between himself and the mirrored wall.

Now that we were out of the bar lighting I could see him more clearly. He was attractive, deep brown eyes, dark hair neatly trimmed and perfectly straight teeth when he smiled at me. He had a small diamond stud in his right ear which I wasn't really a fan of, but it didn't matter much given this was a one time thing.

When his lips touched mine I had a small moment of doubt. He was rough and hungry. It was nothing like the way Michael used to kiss me. But when his hand gripped my waist in a way that let me know he was ready to claim my body as his own for the next few hours, desire took over any doubt.

The elevator bell rung as we landed on the third floor and the door opened. "This way," Chris led me down a hallway and to a door with 308 in brass numbers. He unlocked it with the same card and I had the thought of it felt more like a hotel than an apartment building.

I barely got to look around before Chris's lips were on mine again. We found his bedroom and wasted no time at all to strip out of our clothes. It was dark in there, the only light from the large window with open blinds, letting the city lights shine in. I didn't even care that maybe someone from another could see in.

The glow from those lights was enough to show me that Chris worked out. His body was a work of art and he looked strong enough to throw me around. If he asked, I don't think I'd say no at all. He looked hungry as I lay naked on his bed for him.

It was as I lay there, his dark eyes tracing over every inch of my exposed body that I had my second big realisation for the night. Chris had no preconceived ideas of me. He didn't know my very vanilla sex life. I could be anyone I wanted with him right now. I could live out fantasies I had read about and dreamt about.

That night he worshipped my body in a way I hadn't been treated, well, probably ever. He ate me out until I screamed his name. His face lit up when I asked him to fuck me against the window.

"Put your hands on the glass and spread your legs," he demanded and I did. Michael had rarely instructed me what to do in the bedroom and it was hot. Being told what to do may just be a new kink unlocked. Chris grabbed my hip with one hand and the other guided himself inside of me from behind. Once he was in a rhythm he placed both hands on my hips and told me to touch myself while he railed me as hard as he could.

"You're so fucking hot Skye," he was panting.

"You feel so good," I told him, and he really did. He wasn't anything extraordinary in the size department, but he knew how to use it well and as he pummelled me over and over he hit that sweet spot so much I was barely able to keep my legs from trembling and collapsing beneath me.

"Turn around," he pulled out of me. "I want to watch the way you take me and see your face when I make you come."

Proving just how strong he actually is, he lifted my legs around his hips, lined himself up again while my back rest against the cold window. We fucked like that until we both came undone and after he carried me to the bed and asked me to stay for a bit.

I did. We lay there talking, neither of us even tipsy anymore. We talked about our jobs, places we'd like to go on holiday and our dream cars. Nothing deep and nothing too personal. I didn't mention Michael, he didn't mention any other woman. I don't know if he has a mother, father or any siblings or even what his last name is.

What I did learn is how his dick felt pounding inside of me in multiple position as we went for round two and three. I knew how he tasted and that he liked the feel of teeth lightly grazing the underside of his cock. He knew that I liked it when he sucked my clit hard into his mouth while submerging at least three fingers inside of me.

When the room had started to turn a soft pink with the rising sun, I left. We didn't exchange numbers or make any plans to ever see each other again. We both knew that one night is all that it was, I don't know if he could sense that I couldn't give him more or he also couldn't give more.

It didn't matter anyway.

One night with Chris served it's purpose for me. It released me from any last strings I still had attached to Michael. It showed me that I could be anyone I wanted, with whoever I wanted.