Today was doomsday.

She was going to tell Calvin the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

She was at her place, after weeks of not living there, to clean the place from all the dust bunnies. If Julius dared to show his face, she would tell him off. No more running and hiding from that man. He could not ruin her life if she came clean to Calvin.

A one-time mistake before things were serious with them, that's all it was.

She scrubbed her bathroom, her bedroom, the kitchen, and then the living room. For the last two hours, she smelled cleaning fumes of bleach and lemon scent. It felt invigorating getting her life under control again by simply cleaning. And she did not film or snap a picture for the gram, she went about her life and did what needed to be done without making it into a fanfare event.

She kept her influencing on what it was, her get ready with me, day in the life of, and random food finds and things. The few times she included her personal life, i.e., Calvin, though they were her highest views, she felt she exploited him. Views only went up because he was an attractive guy.

Calvin was more than his looks. He was the best man ever. She knew how lucky she was to have a guy who was both hot and highly desired, as well as sensitive and not too macho. The kind of guy who treated her with respect, even the mother of his child when they did not get along. The kind of guy who took care of his child as he should.

She loved that man so much.

Her doorbell rang, and she smiled because she knew it was Calvin. She snatched open the door without even a thought and was disappointed when she saw Julius, in full police uniform, standing there.

"The hell are you doing here?"

"Is that how you greet me, baby?" His grin was wicked, how did she not see how evil he was?

"Baby what? Boy bye!" She could not believe this idiot was here. Not now, not when Calvin was on his way.

Julius pushed past her, inside her apartment, and she felt her blood pressure rise. She had to get this crazy boy out of there. She should have expected this would happen and planned for it. Like, not meet at her place.

"I wanta fuck, and you keep dodging me." Julius took off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. The man was truly nutso.

"Can you get out and-"

Before she could close the door, in walked Calvin.

He did not have to say a word. He saw Julius standing there as if he belonged, half-dressed, Her reaction was to freeze. Her body could not move, her feet planted in the ground felt like they were stuck in quicksand. Her mouth felt dry, like sand in her mouth, and she wanted to explain but no words could come.

"Amari, what the fuck is going on?"

Screaming in her head, "Nothing! Nothing is going on! He's crazy! Help me!" But nothing came out of her mouth that Calvin could hear.

"Who the fuck are you? I'm about to fuck my bitch...you must be her guy or something."

"Noooooo!" she finally could croak out. Still, she could not move. How was she going to explain this in a way that did not upset Calvin?

"You're not doing shit with Mari." Calvin stepped to him, face to face, toe-to-toe with the man who had been tormenting her for weeks. "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but get fucking dressed and get the fuck out of here before I give you the beat down you deserve."

"I'm the police, I'll arrest your ass."

"Then do it! I can tell you're nothing but a bitch ass in a uniform."

Amari did not want to see what Julius could do to Calvin, or use his power to retaliate. Cop murdering Black men, even of the same race was so common these days, and they could get away with it.

"Calvin, he's been harassing me for weeks! That's why I haven't been staying at my place. I'm afraid!" Tears fell from her face, and Calvin came to her and put his arms around her. That's where she felt safer, with the man who loved and cared for her, not one who wanted to use and abuse her.

What was she thinking when she slept with him, not once, but twice, while she was with Calvin?

"Babe, I got you." Calvin comforted her, and that's all she needed right now.

"Babe? You really believe her crocodile tears? She was about to fuck me before you got here. They make dumb clowns like you every day. Bitch got you pussy-whipped and you-"

Calvin let her go and rushed to Julius and punched him in the face. Julius stumbled back, broke his fall on the table, and then hit the floor. If he hit his head and Calvin killed him, she would never forgive herself. But Julius was conscious as he struggled to gain his composure. Calvin did not let him gain his bearings, he kept hitting him in the face once he was down.

"Calvin stop! Just let him go, get him out of here."

She did her best to hold Calvin and make him stop. The way she situated her body nearly between the two, he had no choice but to stop.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Calvin yelled at Julius. "If you don't get your punk ass out of here, I will bring the real heat on you."

Amari pushed him further away from Julius so that Julius would get himself together, get up, and leave peacefully. If he got up and attacked Calvin, what was she supposed to do?

She grabbed her phone and dialed 911, though immediately she wondered if that was the right thing to do.

"Julius, I will call the cops!" She disconnected the call. The police would side with their own. She was not crazy. Things did not need to get worse.

"Call them bitch, see if I care." Julius was able to stand, his nose bled, and he wiped it with the back of his hand.

"Babe, if this clown doesn't leave-"

"Fuck you! I'm gone." Julius stepped into his shoes and snatched up his shirt as he talked. "I'll be back after yo ass leave and fuck her from behind till she screams my name. Or in the shower, she likes that. Just ask her."

Calvin started to go after him again, but she held him back as Julius, like a coward, made a quick exit, slamming the door behind him.

Now it was starkly quiet in her place. Now it was time to face the music.

"Amari, who the hell was that, and what is going on?"

She wanted to lie so badly. The old her would tell every lie she could think of. Calvin truly loved her and defended her blindly, and she knew he would have caught a case for her. Yet, she did what she did to him.

"His name is Julius. We dated years ago when I was back in college. He's not even from St. Louis, he's from Kansas City...I hadn't heard from him in a long time." She wrung her hands with nervousness as she talked. "He treated me badly when I was with him, then he had another girlfriend in Kansas City and she came down and started a fight with me, and then I-"

"I don't need the whole run down. Why was he here now? With his shirt off. Saying all the things he said."

"I'm trying to tell you." The tears started again, and it felt as if her face was on fire from the hot tears. She could barely see straight from the tears. "He slid in my DMs. He must have used his police work to find out where I lived and showed up one day. And I...we..."

There was no way she could look up at Calvin right now. There was nothing more she could say either.

"Did you sleep with him? Did you sleep with him while we were together?"

Again, no words, she only nodded at him, broke down into more tears, and tried to grab him in a hug but he held her at arms-length.

"Don't," was all he said.

"I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! Calvin, please, let me explain."

"No! You do the one thing you know would hurt me most?"

"I'm sorry Calvin. You have to forgive me. It was a mistake. I was...I was lonely...I didn't know how you felt about me at the time...I can't explain it-"

"Because my love wasn't enough?"

"No...I mean, yes! It's enough. I love you."

"You don't love me, Amari, don't lie to yourself." He stepped away from her. "I can't be with someone who is this selfish, manipulative, liar, and a cheater."

"But listen-"

"No Amari, I'm done!" Calvin walked toward the door.

"Noooo!" she screamed out as she crumbled to the floor, crying louder. "Please don't leave me."

He stopped at the door, and for a moment, she thought he had changed his mind and would forgive her. Calvin turned to her, walked over, and leaned down to her.

"I hate that I love you," was all he said then walked away again, then opened the door, and left her.

She cried every tear she had in her body and thought the pain would never end.