Kayla POV

"How many times have I told you to clean up after yourself? I'm not your maid, I'm your mother!"

Every day was like this with her mother. It's not like she was destroying the little house they lived in. She left the dishes in the sink and had not put them in the dishwasher. Big deal. It's not like she asked her mother to do it for her, she could do it herself.

"I swear sometimes I wonder how you are my child, you're so lazy."

She stomped into the kitchen and put the plate and fork from her dinner, into the half-filled dishwasher. She looked over at her mother who sat in front of the television watching her latest soap operas. Her mother, who once was an exquisite woman gave up on life after her father passed away.

"You want me to start it?"

"What do you think?"

She blinked her eyes a moment and stood there. She had no clue. She looked from the half-filled dishwasher to her mother, and back to the dishwasher. She added a tab and started the machine. Better to be safe than sorry and have her mother yell at her.

She went to the freezer and grabbed her favorite cookies and cream ice cream and then a big spoon from the drawer. She had eaten an hour ago, but now it was dessert time. Her mother made smothered steak, with gravy over homemade mashed potatoes and Mexican corn. Couldn't tell by looking at her, but her mother was Mexican, and she was half-Black.

People never knew what she was. She did not know much about her Mexican background except for some food dishes her mother cooked, and not much. Her mother was born in America and didn't know much about Mexico either. Her father died when she was only six years old, so she had a brief memory of him.

He loved her and always doted on her, she remembered that. She remembered her parents were very much in love. She remembered the depression her mother fell in after he was killed in a freak accident at his job working at the city highway department. Unsure of what depression was at that age, she knew her mother was miserable and could barely take care of her.

She went to live with her paternal grandmother for about a year until her mother was fit for her again. But everything changed after that. Her mother was a different woman, not so loving. She was mean and evil at times. Sometimes nice and sweet, but mostly always angry.

She lost the love of her life, she had a right to not get over it.

Did not mean she had to take it out on her.

"You're gonna keep getting fat eating like that," her mother said to her while she shoveled ice cream into her mouth.

She stopped eating for a moment to think about that. Her mother was not thin either. In fact, her mother was bigger than her. Had been since she could remember. She always felt she took after her mother in body shape, so there was no use fighting it. She was smaller in high school, but college and the freshman thirty did her in. It was all downhill from there.

"Mom, I really didn't eat much today."

Which was true. She "dieted" throughout the day, barely eating anything, then came home to whatever her mother cooked and pigged out. Her mother made the fatty food, what else was she supposed to eat? Her mother would not even allow her to cook, so she could make nothing less fatty.

When she moved out on her own, she would make healthier foods. Speaking of that, she needed to tell her mother she planned on moving out soon. It was amazing she held it from her for this long, considering she was approved for the place weeks ago and would move soon.

"Mom, I need to tell you something."

She had not told her mother she was moving out because she knew how her mother would react. On one hand, she always berated her for being lazy and never doing anything around the house, but if she tried to leave she would come up with a reason she shouldn't.

"Please don't tell me you're pregnant. I can't take care of you and a baby."

Why would her mother even jump to that conclusion? She would have to have sex for that to happen, and she had not, ever. Twenty-four years old and still a virgin.

"No! Mom, I...I think it's time I get my own place."

She waited for her mother to react and say something mean and negative about it. As always, her mother delivered.

"Huh! Good luck with that. You have no idea how hard it is to be on your own, pay rent, pay bills, clean the house, and cook for yourself. I do all of that for you. You barely make enough to have your own car."

"Mom, I make enough. It's a nice apartment, small, but nice."

"Yeah, right. Try and move on your own and destroy your life." This was the mother she was used to. This was why she needed to be away from her.

She scooped more ice cream into her mouth. There was no talking to her mother. She loved her, she did, she just did not like her much.

"You'll be back in three months, tops. When you're broke and tired of taking care of yourself. You're not pretty enough like your friend Amari, she can find a good man to take care of her, and spend money on her. And Sharynn has enough money she does not need a man to take care of her. You, prepare to be alone all your life."

How could her mother say that to her?

She batted away tears that stung her eyes. She stuffed more ice cream in her mouth.

"Go ahead, eat all of it up. Fat ass!"

She stood from the couch, stormed to her bedroom, and slammed it shut. Why did her mother treat her that way when she did nothing but love her? She missed her father too, but he was long gone and never coming back. All they had was each other.

She sat on her bed and finished eating her ice cream.

She was not even that big! Others were bigger than her and more confident in themselves. She had none. No confidence. She never saw herself as pretty, even though she was a cheerleader in high school.

That was only because she was tall and could lift the smaller, more petite girls in the stunts. They called her "Thick Thighs" and "Ms. Booty" on the team. They kept her in the background mostly and displayed the prettier girls.

When they did not make fun of her size, they made fun of her racial identity. Not Black enough, not Hispanic enough. She talked too proper for the little hood school Soldan High. She was too smart for the guys to notice her unless they wanted to cheat off her work, or try to get her to tutor them.

No one asked her out at all in high school. College was much the same.

Twenty-four and she had never been on a date. Never kissed a boy. Had not had sex.

She set the ice cream down, went to her mirror on the door, and searched herself over. What did she see? A plain Jane girl that no one would notice. How could she catch the man of her dreams if she looked like a nightmare?

She ran her fingers through her long, straight hair. Typically, she wore it in a ponytail or a tight bun, hiding her length away. If she wore it down, at least she looked more mature and not younger than her age.

She rubbed her hands over her face. Tawny brown skin, not too light, but definitely not melanated like Amari or even Sharynn. Her eyes were so dull, nothing distinct about the dark brown eyes. A wide nose and thinnish lips. Maybe with makeup, she could learn to contour her nose to be smaller, and draw in fuller lips.

She groaned as she looked over her body. Thunder thighs. Roly-poly belly. She could lose twenty pounds, do a hundred crunches a day, and maybe lose some of the stomach. She didn't need to get super thin, just find her shape.

At least she had a butt women paid for. Her best asset.

She grabbed her bucket of ice cream and saw that she had finished it all. This could not be her life! She was too young for this.

"When I move out, I'll eat better and exercise!"

She smiled. "And find Mr. Right!"

And seek therapy for the years of trauma her mother caused. There was more to life than what she had been living. Even if she never met Mr. Right, this was about her and getting healthy for herself. All she needed was Amari and Sharynn in her life. They were her family, and they never judged her based on her body size.

Even changing her mindset made her suddenly feel better.

"Ms. Booty my ass!"