It's been a few weeks since Sasuke mentioned his therapy. When Thursday rolls around, he invites me to attend a session with him. I'm really fucking happy he trusts me this much, so of course, I say yes. But I'll admit that I'm a little nervous at the same time. I don't know what to expect. I think he's nervous, too.

We're in the waiting room now. It's quiet. Soon, a pretty, brunette woman pops out of an office and smiles. "Sasuke, you ready?"

He stands up at the sound of her voice. I follow him and the three of us enter an office. "Hello," she greets me. "You must be Naruto. I'm Shizune Kato, Sasuke's psychiatrist."

"Nice to meet you," I smile at her.

"You as well!" She smiles back, gesturing to the sofa in front of her desk. "Have a seat, boys. We'll get down to business in just a moment." She begins leafing through papers and talking about confidentiality. I nod, letting her know I'm listening.

After I sign a form, she tucks it away and smiles again. "Sasuke has been doing much better. I suppose you're aware, though?"

I nod, glancing at him. "Yeah, I'm glad..." I tell her. "A lot of bad stuff happened recently."

"I heard," she says. "Have you two spoken about it at all?"

"Not really," I answer. "Sasuke didn't want to."

He lets out an audible sigh. "Because it's over. I'm not going to dwell."

"But it bothers you," Shizune cuts in. "It might be a good idea to tell Naruto how you were feeling in those moments and perhaps how you feel now. Some things are difficult to get over. I'm sure Naruto wants to understand. He cares about you, after all."

"He can't understand," Sasuke murmurs.

"Perhaps not completely," Shizune admits, "but with your help, he can at least have a better understanding, even if he can't understand on the same level as you."

"I wouldn't want him to..." Sasuke closes his eyes. "Some things are hard to talk about."

"I know," I tell him quietly. "I won't force you... but whenever you feel like it, call me. I don't care if it's at four in the morning, just promise you'll call, okay? I'll always answer."

He opens his eyes and nods. "Right. I promise."

"Plus..." I murmur, "that sick pervert is still running around."

"I know," is all he says.

"Don't you find it... concerning?" I ask. I don't understand why he isn't worried about it. If I were I his position, I'd be wrecked over it. I'd be so determined to get some sort of justice, but he's not even thinking about it... or so it seems. I don't really know what Sasuke is thinking. He simply shrugs in response, choosing not to answer. I'm hardly surprised. I let out a quiet sigh. I won't pry. Not this time.

"Sasuke," Shizune cuts in. "You're not talkative today... You were talkative for the past two sessions. Is it because we're not alone?"

"No," he says. "I have nothing to say today..."

"I don't think that's true," she tells him.

"My head hurts," he adds. He seems uncomfortable. I wish there was some way I could ease his anxiety.

"You're thinking too hard," Shizune says before suggesting, "Pretend he's not here."

Oh.

"But he is," Sasuke states flatly.

"Pretend, Sasuke," she reiterates. "If he wasn't here, what would you say to me?"

Again, he closes his eyes. He swallows harshly, biting on his lower lip. He's trying to get the words out, I can tell. "I'd say... I'd say I'm scared."

"Why are you scared?" she asks gently.

"I don't want to drive him away," he murmurs. "I'm fucking crazy and I can't help it. Everyone pretends to be understanding and patient and kind... but then they get tired of it. They get tired of me and I'm left alone again. No one can put up with me."

I open my mouth, but Shizune shakes her head at me and presses her pointer finger to her lips to silence me. "What are you afraid you might do to drive him away?" she continues to ask questions.

"Scream too much, get too sad... have a really bad episode?" he offers. "Cheat?"

I frown at that, not liking where this is going.

"You're worried you'll cheat?" Shizune asks. "Do you feel the need to be with somebody else?"

"No..." he murmurs. "It's not always my choice."

This is when I cut in. "That's not cheating!" I exclaim. "It's only cheating if you wanted it to happen!"

"Hn..." he grunts non-committally.

"Come on," I urge, "I'm serious, Sasuke. It's not healthy to think things like that."

"Does it matter?" he wonders.

"Of course it matters!" I throw my hands up in disbelief. "People can't think this way, Sasuke. It's a pretty dangerous way of seeing things. You're worth more than you think."

He sighs, giving me dull-eyed stare. He wrinkles his nose at me and perhaps at the idea of him not being completely worthless.

"Some people are trash," I murmur. "I can name a few... but you're not one of them."

After a moment of silence, Sasuke lets out a quiet laugh.

"What's so funny?" I ask, frowning. He shouldn't be laughing at a time like this. We're talking about pretty serious shit.

"You are," he says, sobering. "You're just... too nice and too altruistic. As always."

"It's not a bad thing," I try to reason.

"It can be," he argues. "If you're too nice, people are going to walk all over you."

"Heh..." I shake my head at him. "Funny, coming from you. People use you. Why? Well, it's definitely not because you're too nice or anything. It's because you let them."

Sasuke sneers at me and turns away, staring down at the floor. Shizune watches us silently and the room falls quiet – all that can be heard is the soft scribbling of her pen. She's taking notes. She's probably analysing Sasuke and his relationship with me. I wonder if she'd call it unhealthy. I guess it kind of is. Sometimes he pisses me off and I say mean things... plus, I hit him that one time. That was pretty awful of me. I'm still mad at myself for it.

"Naruto," Shizune suddenly says my name. When I glance up at her, she asks, "You look like you're in thought. Do you have something else you want to say?"

I let out a breath, turning to Sasuke and saying, "I love you, okay?"

"I know," he says simply.

"And you love me," I continue.

"I know," he says again.

"You trust me," I add. "You might not trust me completely, but you do trust me a little bit... so, that's okay. That says a lot because I know you don't trust easily. I also know that things like this take time, but I'm really glad you trusted me enough to let me come here with you."

He stares at me with glassy eyes. He blinks a few times and then sighs. "Damn it, you idiot..." he murmurs. "I didn't think it'd be this hard... I thought letting you come would be easy and I'd be able to talk about things... but..."

"I get it," I tell him softly. "Some things are harder when you're actually in the moment, right? You'll talk to me about these things when you're ready. Like I said, I won't push you."

He lets out another sigh, nodding his head lightly.

"Sasuke," Shizune cuts in gently. "Do you want to try closing your eyes again? It seemed to help the first time, so maybe give it another go. Pretend Naruto isn't here... or if it helps, pretend I'm the one who isn't here."

He closes his eyes yet again and his brow furrows. "People say... the body is a temple. It holds the soul, right?" he starts quietly. Without waiting for a response, he continues, "It's painful when someone intrudes forcefully... but it hurts more physically if you fight back... and it hurts more mentally if you don't. So, you're pushed down and felt up. You've got no control... It's not sexual. It's to prove dominance. It's... to be shown your place." He takes a shallow breath. "First time it happened, I was sixteen... I didn't know what to do... who to tell. I was a mess... crying a lot. I got really drunk, so I thought I brought it on myself because I was in the bad part of town. I walked home alone only to be followed by a guy I met at a bar earlier... I get now that it's not my fault. Still, I couldn't bear the thought of telling my parents, so I went on the internet. Big mistake... the land of rape jokes and other teenaged males laughing about it. I only felt worse afterward... and I couldn't help but think what would happen if people from school found out or people from the soccer team? Before games, guys in the locker room start threatening to totally rape the opposing team. Would they still joke if they knew? Would they stop or would it get worse? I wondered... what would happen if you found out? Would you rub it in my face, or would you pity me? Back then, we were really awful to each other... so I didn't know. I never paid attention to the things said in the locker room until I was held down for the first time. It's not something you joke about. What happened to me wasn't funny."

As he continues to talk, I feel like I could throw up. I can literally feel it in my gut. Kiba used to say shit like that. We'd be playing video games and he'd win and laugh about how badly I got raped when I lost. I would laugh, too. I actually fucking laughed when he said shit like that... but I'm not laughing now. Far from it. Kiba doesn't tell jokes like that anymore. Hinata put him in his place a long time ago.

I put my hands over my mouth and try to be silent and try not to get emotional. I don't want to interrupt him before he's finished.

"Eventually," he breathes, "I just grew numb to it. I pretended everything was fine and my parents were relieved I was no longer emotionally volatile. Even after it happened again, I didn't react while I was in the moment. I just let it happen... but even when it's over, it never really goes away. You need to live with the fact that someone forced their way into you and said sick things and hurt you..." His voice is shaking by now and his face is flushed, but he keeps his eyes shut tight. Once he opens them, he'll start crying and he won't be able to stop. On his lap, he's fidgeting with his hands. They're shaking as much as his voice and his entire body is rigid. After a moment of silence, he lets out a deep breath and lays his palms flat on his thighs. "I feel disgusting," he finishes wetly. "So I try not to think about it. I laugh and smile at all the right times and I act like I don't care about anything when in reality I care too much."

"Oh," I whisper so quietly, I wonder if he even hears it.

He presses his finger tips to his eye lids and shamefully adds, "And sometimes... sometimes I'll go out knowing what I'm going to get myself into. I get in these moods and I can't help myself. I'll go to the wrong place and socialize with the wrong people. There are times I really do bring it on myself." A pause. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" he whispers.

"Sasuke, no," I plead with him to understand. "Nothing is wrong with you. A decent human being would never hurt someone like that."

He only shakes his head. "So, yeah, Naruto," he murmurs dismissively. "You were right when you told me I recovered too quickly. You were right when you assumed I was faking and that I was still hurting... but guess what? It's easier to pretend everything is fine."

"I'm sorry," I choke out.

"Why?" he asks. "Were you the one who did it? No... but I did it to you, didn't I?"

"What?" I frown. "Sasuke, no..."

He wraps his arms around himself. "I'm the one who should be sorry..." he says in a pained tone, "and I am... I'm sorry..."

"Sasuke, look at me," I demand softly. He shakes his head and I can't help but feel like we've been in this exact place before. "Sasuke," I say his name again. "Please...?" I inch closer to him and reach forward, slowly touching his shoulders.

He raises both of his hands and covers his mouth, emitting a string of cough-like sob. Finally, he opens his eyes and immediately they begin to leak.

"Listen," I say sternly, "you did not hurt me, okay? I enjoyed it. I mean it. It was nice. You didn't hurt me. If you were doing something I didn't want, you would have known."

I think the words are lost to him. He's crying too hard. So, tentatively I reach forward again and pull his face into my chest. I don't bother saying another damn word. I glance at Shizune, who is frowning. Her face is full of sympathy. I don't blame her, but I'm glad to see Sasuke has a doctor who genuinely seems to care.

||XxXx||

After the session, I walk Sasuke out of the office and out of the building. His eyes are still glassy and he's flushed, but he's stopped crying. "My head hurts," he murmurs.

"Yeah," is all I say.

"Are you mad?" he asks.

"No way," I promise him. "Why would I be mad?"

"You probably thought I was making more progress than I actually am," he murmurs stiffly, crossing his arms.

"Progress is progress," I shrug. Truth be told, I had no expectations. I'm just glad he finally admit he wasn't okay.

"I'm trying..." he adds.

"I know," I say, putting an arm around him and keeping him close as we stroll through the busy streets. As we're about to stroll past my favorite ramen stand, I turn to Sasuke and offer, "Wanna get ramen?"

"Take out," he says. "I don't want to be out in public anymore today. I look like something that Kiba's dog chewed up and spit out."

"You look perfect," I insist. He always looks perfect, but nonetheless, he rolls his eyes at the comment. "So, what kind of ramen?" I ask him.

"Miso," he says. "Come on, then."

The two of us approach Ichiraku Ramen and I grin at Teuchi and Ayame. "Long time, no see!" Teuchi says.

"We were starting to think our favorite customer forgot about us," Ayame laughs.

"No way," I assure them. "I've just been busy with school and stuff."

"Getting straight A's?" Ayame asks.

"You know it," I lie. More like straight C's. Heh.

"Gonna introduce us to your friend?" Teuchi nods towards Sasuke, who has been silent at my side. His arms are still crossed and he looks just as sour as ever.

"This is Sasuke, my boyfriend," I smile fondly. "And Sasuke – this is Teuchi and Ayame. They make the best ramen ever!"

"Nice to meet you," Sasuke says flatly.

"Aw," Ayame coos. "Our little Naruto is growing up."

"Heh heh..." I chuckle.

"So," Teuchi claps his hands together. "What can we get you boys?"

"One order of pork ramen and one order of miso to go, please!" I request.

"Sure thing," they say in unison before getting to work. Me and Sasuke both take seats on the stools as we wait. I continue to blab to Teuchi and Ayame as they cook, while Sasuke simply listens. When our ramen is done, I take the bag and wave before continuing home with Sasuke.

"You seemed to know them well," Sasuke points out as we walk.

I nod. "I do. Man, you know how much I love ramen and trust me when I say they make the best!"

Sasuke makes a hm'ing sound, but doesn't say anything. The rest of the walk is quiet, but that's fine. We'll talk later. We'll talk about whatever he wants, whether or not it's important. Then again, everything we talk about is pretty important to me.

||XxXx||

It's around eight when we get back to my house. When we enter the kitchen, we find our parents all playing cards, but that's not all. Itachi is also there and I nearly choke on my own spit when I see him staring down at a deck of cards. He doesn't acknowledge us. He seems into the game, though.

"You're home," my dad says.

"Yeah, sorry we were a bit late," I say, holding up the bag. "We got ramen."

"Okay," he says, smiling before staring back down at his hand and placing some cards down onto the table.

"How was your appointment, Sasuke?" Mikoto asks.

"Fine," he says vaguely.

As always.

The two of us go into the living room to eat. I turn the television on and put it on a basketball game. "Hey," I start.

"Hm?" he asks.

"Your brother is home," I mention.

"Yeah," Sasuke says. "Since this morning. This is my first time seeing him, too."

"Was there progress?" I pry. He was only in the hospital for a little over a month.

"Kisame is going to be living with us," Sasuke reveals. "There are rules. Me and Itachi aren't allowed to be in the house alone together. Kisame will be taking him out a lot. He'll be more active. I guess that's a good thing."

"Oh," I say softly.

"Yeah," he murmurs. "I'm okay with it..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want you to worry about it," he says with a shrug. "It'll be different this time. Everyone is making sure of that. Itachi is going to see his doctor twice a week. If he's managing himself better, it'll get cut down to once a week. My mom is happy, so..." he trails off. "I don't really want to get in the way of it by protesting."

"Do you tell your mom the stuff you tell your doctor?" I wonder, pulling my chopsticks apart and digging in.

"Sometimes," he says before doing the same. "But like I said, it's hard to talk to your own parents."

"Oh," I mumble. I guess I understand that. I used to find it pretty weird, but I'm more open these days. I think my parents appreciate it. I bet Sasuke's would, too. They're always so concerned and I know they find it relieving on rare occasions where he actually does talk to them about things that matter.

"You're right," he says suddenly.

"What?" I ask.

"It's good..." he murmurs.

"Oh," I chuckle. "Yeah, I told yah so!"