I haven't said a word to Sakura since I broke up with her. She hasn't tried to speak with me either. Similarly, me and Sasuke haven't even made eye contact since his mental breakdown in my kitchen. He can't avoid me forever, though. Knowing our parents, we'll be forced into attending another dinner soon enough. It's Monday again. Another week has gone by. I've passed in that stupid, fucking essay finally. Now I can finally stop worrying about it.

For the past week, I've been spending time with Kiba, Hinata, Ino and Sai. They questioned me about the breakup, because apparently Sakura wouldn't talk about it. I gave them the answers they wanted. I'm not ashamed. I didn't do anything wrong... Well, apart from the cheating but that went both ways. I treated her well until I learned that she was never going to do the same. That's why I cheated. I guess that makes me a dick... but I've learned a lot from this whole mess. I hope Sakura has, too.

Today during lunch break today, however, Sakura sits with us and acts like everything is normal. I guess it's okay for now, but we'll have to talk about it soon.

"Remember," Kiba says, looking at me, "We have practise after school, so don't fuck off."

"Oh, right..." I mutter. "I almost forget."

He rolls his eyes. "Then it's good I reminded you. Does Uchiha know?"

"I don't know," I shrug.

"Well, make sure he does," Kiba says.

"Why don't you?" I ask. "You're on better terms with him than I am."

Kiba laughs, "Yeah, that's not saying much, dude. Sasuke still hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," I say. "I mean, he was at your party."

"He didn't exactly look like he was aware of his surroundings. He probably got dragged there," Kiba says with a snort.

"Maybe..." I relent, "but I still don't think he hates you. If he doesn't hate me, then he doesn't hate you."

"I thought Sasuke despised you?" Kiba raises an eyebrow. "This is news to me."

"He doesn't hate me," I say. "We talked about it a couple nights ago. It was pretty awkward. My mom forced us both to sit down and sort out our differences. It didn't really happen the way she hoped, but we had a conversation that felt okay... for like, the first time ever."

"Wow," Hinata cuts in quietly. "Do you think you'll stop fighting now?" There's hope in her voice.

"I think so," I smile at her. "I mean... eventually. We'll probably have a few more fights before it stops, but I can finally see smoother sailing in the future."

"It's mature of you both to finally put your differences aside," Sakura adds.

"Yeah, yeah," I say with a wary chuckle.

"I think you should become friends with Sasuke," Ino suggests. "He looks like he needs a hug."

I snicker, not bothering to tell her that he already got one from me. Sasuke would probably flay me alive if that story ever got out.

||XxXx||

After school, some students have gathered in the bleachers to watch the practise. Well, they're mostly girls wanting to watch Sasuke, but whatever. Juugo and Suigetsu are also here, as well as Chouji, Shikamaru, Ino, Sai, Karin and Sakura.

The coach divides us into teams – shirts and skins. I'm a shirt along with Sasuke and Kiba. Practise goes smoothly. Sasuke even kicks the ball to me a couple times. I think that visibly surprises the coach, who is used to practises and games being stopped by me and Sasuke tackling one another. There's none of that today.

After practise, we head to the locker rooms and I notice that Sasuke shamelessly undresses facing everyone, probably in an attempt to hide the scars on his back... whatever they're from. I've never really noticed that before now... why he does certain things.

"Why the hell are you staring at me like that?" he snaps upon noticing my blatantly obvious gaze.

"Oh, uh, nothing..." I trail off.

His eyes narrow, but he doesn't pry. He drapes a towel over his shoulder and strolls into the showers. A minute later, I do the same. Ugh. I really hate the school showers. I've said it before and I'll say it again – it's a sausage fest in here.

Next to me, Kiba moulds his hair into spikes with the shampoo. "Look," he says, "I'm you."

I roll my eyes at him, but can't suppress a laugh. He grins before ducking his head under the nozzle and rinsing it. Well, all I can say is that I'm relieved Sai isn't on the soccer team. Since we only have to take one gym credit, I did it in first year. That's where I met Sai. In the locker room he laughed and laughed when he saw my dick, then he called it small. I was so outraged... but then again, it's how we became friends. I still don't know why he laughed! I'm perfectly average! Jeez. I don't know what kind of dicks that guy's used to seeing... but they must be fucking monstrous.

After washing away the sweat, I towel off and get dressed. Outside the locker room, Ino and Sai are waiting for me. "Hey," I grin. "You'll be needing a drive home, I'm guessing?"

"Please," Ino laughs.

"No problem," I chuckle. "Thanks for watching the practise."

"It was intense," Ino says. "You and Sasuke actually got along out there... that was the most intense part. I found myself on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would start your fight this time, but you guys actually got along on the field! I'm proud."

"Yeah, weird, huh?" I snort. The three of us leave the school and make our way to my jeep. I get into the driver's seat while Sai hops in the passenger and Ino hops in the back. "So," I start as I pull out of the parking lot, "What're you guys doing this weekend?"

"Date night," Ino says.

"Aw," I coo. "That's nice."

"Yeah," Sai adds, "Do you think you'll be taking advantage of the single life? Not that it'll make a difference since you and Sakura were hardly faithful."

"Ah," I say sheepishly, "Well... yeah, not really. I'm going to abstain until I find Miss Right."

"That's good," Ino says, touching my shoulder. "Sex is so much better with someone who actually cares for you."

"I wouldn't know," I laugh bitterly.

"You will," she says.

"You sound like my mom," I tell her, recalling the conversation I had with her about dating.

Ino chuckles, "Well, Kushina knows her shit."

||XxXx||

Once I pull into Ino's driveway, we all chat for a bit before parting ways. During the ride home, it begins to rain. It's a pretty intense downpour. I pull into my driveway and park, getting drenched on my way inside. "Ugh," I groan before announcing, "I'm home!"

"Welcome," my mom calls back. Her and Dad appear a moment later.

"You're soaked," Dad says.

"I know," I grumble, taking my sneakers off on the welcome mat. I'm about to go upstairs and get changed, but my parents stop me.

"Naruto," Mom whispers.

"What?" I raise an eyebrow. "Why are you being so quiet?"

"Sasuke is going to be staying here for the next little while," she continues softly. "He's already upstairs in the guest room."

I raise an eyebrow at that. "O...kaaay..." I continue upstairs, trailing water the entire way. I open the bathroom and take my clothes off, tossing them in the drier. I cup a hand over my crotch and waddle into my bedroom to get dressed. I throw on a pair of sweatpants. "Hm..." I muse aloud, eying my laptop. Homework or porn? I sit at my computer desk and open my laptop, muting the volume before bringing up a porn site. I click on the first female solo I see: a dark haired girl with big hips and big boobs. I wrap a hand around my dick as the video plays, biting my lip to supress any sounds. Ah, the loneliest activity in the world.

When I'm finished releasing my sexual frustration, I close my laptop. I wipe my stomach off with a tissue and then throw a t-shirt on. A minute later, my cellphone beeps. I open it, seeing a text from Kiba. Nice timing.

KIBA: you free? me and hinata are bored

ME: yeah come on over

I toss my phone onto my bed after replying, leaving my bedroom and wandering downstairs. "Kiba and Hinata are coming over," I tell my parents.

"Okay," Dad says.

"Will they be staying for supper?" Mom asks.

"I dunno," I shrug. "I'll ask them when they get here."

I hang around the kitchen for the next little while, talking with my parents until the doorbell rings. I answer it, letting Kiba and Hinata in. "My mom wants to know if you guys are staying to eat," I say.

"Sure," Kiba grins.

"They're staying!" I call to my mom.

"Okay!" she hollers back from the kitchen.

I gesture for them to follow me and we all go upstairs. "So, what do you wanna do?" I ask them as we settle in my room. Kiba sits at my desk and spins around in the chair while me and Hinata sit on my bed.

"Doesn't matter," he says.

"Oh," I remember, "Sasuke is here for some reason."

"What?" Kiba raises a brow. "Where is he?"

"Guest room," I say. "He was here when I got home. I don't know why. He's all weird lately... everyone is and no one will tell me what the fuck is going on. It's annoying. It's like my parents and his parents know some big secret and they're leaving me out."

"Hm," Kiba muses.

"Be patient," Hinata suggests. "I'm sure they'll tell you once everything is sorted. Maybe they just don't want you to worry."

"That's not it," I say. "It's because me and Sasuke don't get along and his parents and my parents don't want me to use whatever is going on as blackmail material. Not that I would. Jeez. I'm not like that."

"That's frustrating," Hinata sympathizes.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Oh, well."

"Yeah, anyway," Kiba starts, "Big game tomorrow."

I grin. "We're gonna kick ass." We're playing against Suna, my pal Gaara's school. We always win against them.

"Of course," Kiba agrees. "Sasuke is going to bring us to victory yet again, I'm sure."

I roll my eyes. "He's not that good..." I mutter.

"Oh," Kiba coos. "It's okay, Naruto. You'll always be number one in my book." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

"Aw, dude, don't be gay," I say.

Kiba chuckles. "No, but really, I think you're about as good of a player as he is. The rest of us kind of suck, though."

"Nah, we're all good," I insist. "We've got a solid team."

Suddenly, Hinata shakes her head at me, softly asking, "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" I raise a brow.

"Act so... homophobic..." she says tartly. "I get that you're a jock and that sports is often a homophobic institution... Insults include calling the men ladies because apparently it's shameful to be female... but is it really necessary?" There is a quiet sort of anger in her tone and it surprises me. She isn't one to call people out like this, but I suppose it's something she's passionate about – equal rights and all that jazz.

"Oh, come on, Hinata..." I murmur. "I'm only kidding around. I don't mean anything by it."

Kiba smirks. "Maybe Naruto is overcompensating."

"Hah! No way!" I insist. "I'm straight as a pole."

"Most people aren't that straight, Naruto," Hinata tries to reason with me. "Sexuality can be incredibly fluid."

"Whatever," I mutter. "I'm not gay and I'm not homophobic. I'm only kidding around. I do know gay people."

"Who do you know that's gay?" Kiba asks.

"Not supposed to say," I tell him.

"Aw, come on..." he pleads.

I just shake my head. There's no way in hell I'm telling him Sasuke's a big homo. Things are finally starting to become calmer between us and I don't want to stir the pot. I don't want things to go back to the way they were. I'm really bad at telling secrets and I need to stop.

"Hey, y'know Gaara's sister?" Kiba suddenly asks.

"Yeah," I say. "Temari... Shikamaru is dating her."

Kiba smirks. "Guess who dated her before Shikamaru and her got together."

"Who?" I question. The tone of his voice has me pretty curious.

"Tenten," he reveals.

"What? Seriously?" My eyes widen and he nods. "Wow..." I murmur. That's surprising.

Kiba nods his agreement. "Yeah, I was pretty shocked when I found that out."

Hinata rolls her eyes at us both. We continue chatting about things of little importance until my mother calls us downstairs to eat. We all stand and leave the room, walking downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Is Sasuke not coming down to eat?" Mom asks.

I shrug as we all grab plates. My dad leaves the room a moment later, probably try and coax Sasuke to be social. We shovel food onto our plates before sitting down at the table, idly chatting and I nearly choke when my dad walks into the room with Sasuke. Me, Kiba and Hinata all share a look of surprise, feeling even more so as he sits down with us. To top things off, he's got a ring of bruises around his neck, like someone choked him out. "What happened?" I ask.

"Nothing," he insists, moving the food around on his plate.

||XxXx||

After an awkward dinner, Kiba and Hinata announce their departure. "Thanks for supper, Kushina!" Kiba says.

"Yes, thank you!" Hinata adds and the two of them leave. I wave them off, closing the door behind them.

I walk back into the kitchen, helping my parents clean up. Sasuke volunteers to assist us, but my mom insists that it's fine and tells him to take it easy. He retreats to his room without another word. After the kitchen is clean, I go upstairs. I knock on the guest room door before pushing it open. Sasuke is sitting on the spare bed with his laptop open in front of him. "What?" he sighs, keeping his eyes on the computer screen.

"What happened to you?" I ask.

"I got hurt," he states in a deadpan.

"Well, no shit..." I mutter. "By who? Your dad?"

He looks up at me, slamming his computer shut. "No!" he snaps. "Why would my own father hit me?"

"I don't know," I say. "Jeez, calm down... it happens sometimes."

"Not in my household," he says.

"Well, okay." I cross my arms, leaning in the doorway.

"Are you going to leave?" he asks expectantly.

I shake my head. "I want to know where you got the bruises."

"My brother!" he spits. "Happy now?"

"What?" I frown. "Why would Itachi do that? He loves you..."

"Not anymore," Sasuke murmurs. He stands up and places his laptop on a wooden table in the corner of the room.

"Is that why you're here?" I ask.

He nods, letting out a breath. "Look... I really can't talk about this. It makes me fucking upset... I just can't live in the same house as him right now."

"Is this why you take pills for PTSD?" I'm probably not doing any good by asking all these questions.

"Used to," he murmurs, sitting back on down on the bed. "How'd you know about that?"

"Suigetsu mentioned it a while ago," I say. "He said the pills fucked with you or something."

"Shut up," he whispers. "That idiot has a big mouth..."

"What happened?" I ask for what feels like the millionth time. I don't know why but I feel like I really need to know.

"Shut up!" he demands this time, closing his eyes and covering his ears. "Please...!" There's desperation in his voice and I'm taken aback. He leans forward pressing his face into the mattress. He begins hyperventilating. He lowers his hands and fists the bed sheets.

Immediately recognizing the signs, I approach him. "Okay, look at me, Sasuke," I instruct sternly.

"I can't breathe...!" he chokes out between a string of sobs.

"Sasuke, look at me!" I repeat, louder this time. "You're having a panic attack." I grab him by the shoulders and force him to sit up and face me. "Okay," I say gently, "deep breaths... Breathe with me, okay?" I take a deep breath and hold it before slowly let it out. He does the same and we alternate back and forth for many minutes until he's calmed down.

"How'd you know it was a panic attack?" he asks, wiping his eyes. He shies away from me, sitting against the headboard.

"I used to get 'em," I admit.

"Why?"

"Panic attacks often run in the family..." I explain. "My dad gets them. I get them... It's not so bad anymore, but it still happens once in a while when I'm really stressed. I saw a doctor about it when I was younger, though. I learned how to calm myself down during an attack. I used to get really angry. I couldn't control myself. I dunno if you remember, but I'd have these fits... My parents thought there was something pretty fuckin' wrong with me, something inside of me that wasn't quite right. I swear there were times I could feel it in my gut, trying to claw its way out. They were the worst human emotions – the kind most people keep buried. I was never able to keep them buried. I'd get angry, and they would just spill out of me. When I was young, I didn't really think about it, but as I got older I wanted to control myself. I got stressed out when I couldn't. Maybe that's why I had attacks."

"Oh," Sasuke says quietly. "I faintly remember that... but you're okay now?"

I nod. "Are you?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Liar," I call him out. "Jeez..." I sigh. "You're kind of a mess, aren't you?"

"Well pardon me," he snaps cynically.

"You go to therapy or whatever, don'tcha?" I ask. "That's what those Thursday appointments are, aren't they? Well, lemme tell yah something – it doesn't matter how much counselling you get, it's only going to benefit you if you let it. I mean, shit, it's obvious that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and you don't really look like you're ready to accept the help you need."

"Fuck," he scoffs, "Just shut the hell up, Naruto! You don't know anything!"

"Eh, I know some things," I shrug.

"Well, you don't know about this," he says surely. "You don't have a brother, so you can't possibly know."

"Then why don't you tell me about it so I can get a better understanding?" I suggest.

"Nice try," he sneers.

"Come on," I urge him.

"Okay," he says coldly. "What would you do if your brother tried to kill you?"

I swallow harshly. This wasn't quite what I expected. "I... I don't know." For once, I have nothing to say.

"Exactly," he says. "You can't possibly know what it's like."

"Just talk about–" I start, only to be cut off.

"No!" he shouts. "I'm done fucking talking to you, now get the hell out!"

For a moment, I don't budge. I think I'm still trying to process the idea of Itachi trying to kill his little brother...

"Get out!" Sasuke shouts again, moving forward and shoving me. I fall off the bed and he delivers a pretty heavy kick to my side. I force myself back to my feet, not hesitating to hit him in the face. He stumbles back a step, but doesn't fall. I don't hit him hard, just hard enough to get him to stop for a minute.

"You don't see any value in yourself," I say.

"Fuck...!" he sobs in frustration. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you, Sasuke," I tell him. "If you'd let me, I'd help you in whatever ways I could... but you're too damn stubborn."

He brushes the hair away from his forehead and tangles his fingers in it. "Get out," he bites. "Now."

This time, I leave without another word. There's nothing in the world I could say to make it okay. In fact, I'd probably just make it worse than I already have. I'm a little tactless. Sometimes I get too determined and I end up ruining everything.

||XxXx||

Late in the night, I'm woken up by shouting. I'm so startled I practically dive out of my bed and onto the floor. I leave my room and my parents look just as confused as I am. It's coming from the guest room.

"Naruto, go back to your room..." Mom gently instructs before entering the guest room. Obviously, I don't do what she's asked. I follow her and see Sasuke thrashing around in bed. Mom carefully approaches him, wrapping her arms around him tightly so he can't swing his fists. "Sh..." she whispers in a comforting way. I just watch, wide-eyed. I don't know how long I'm standing here, but eventually Sasuke calms down. He's shaking, but he's no longer screaming or fighting. I don't know how my mom knew how to calm him down. Mikoto must have told her.

I feel my dad's hand on my shoulder. "Let your mom handle this," he says. "Go back to bed, okay?"

In a daze, I simply nod before wandering back into my room. I've never seen anything like that before. It was really unsettling. I wonder if he gets nightmares like that a lot... Poor bastard. Jeez. I didn't want to keep pitying him, but I can't help it.