I'm home alone late on Saturday night when the doorbell starts to ring. I run downstairs to answer it and spot Sasuke and Sakura standing on my doorstep. What a weird pair. Sakura looks concerned and Sasuke looks unaware. Plus, he's got a scratch on his face. I wonder who it's from this time.

"Er," I pause. "Hey, guys... What's up?"

"I found Sasuke walking around downtown by himself," Sakura says quietly. "I pulled up and offered him a ride home, but he wanted me to take him to you..."

"Ah," I say, opening the door wider and allowing them both inside. I put both my hands on Sasuke's shoulder and steer him up the stairs and into the bathroom. He sits on the toilet seat lid and I fish the first aid kit out from under the sink. Sakura hovers in the doorway, having followed us upstairs.

"He tripped," she says, almost as if she can't believe the ever-graceful Sasuke Uchiha would do something so indignant. "He fell face first...!"

"Oh," I murmur. I guess that's a bit of a relief. At least no one hit him. That means he didn't get himself into trouble... Or, at least not too much trouble.

"Your mom told my mom you've been sad lately," Sasuke murmurs out of the blue. His voice sounds strange to my ears and it doesn't take a genius to figure out he's far from sober.

"Did she now?" I ask offhandedly as I clean the cut, just to be safe.

He nods slowly once I'm done. "They were talking on the phone... and I heard a bit of what my mom was saying. She wanted to know how you were doing..."

"Oh," is all I say.

"Why?" he asks.

"Why what?" I respond.

"Why're you sad?"

"I'm not," I tell him.

"Is it 'cause of me?"

"No," I say flatly. "It's not because of you."

He lets out a breath. "You're lying."

I glance at Sakura from the corner of my eye. She looks confused and curious. I try to ignore her.

"Sasuke?" I say his name.

"Hm?" he muses.

"What are you on right now?" I ask him.

"Hmm... Cocaine," he says.

"You know... you seem to do a lot of cocaine," I mutter.

"I like it."

Sakura looks scandalized. If the entire situation wasn't so fucked up and sad, I might laugh.

"You should probably stop," I suggest, though it's probably in vain.

"No," he says easily. "I feel pretty good."

I relent for now, knowing it's no good arguing with him like this... or at all. "So, who did you get it from?"

He squints, as if he's trying to remember. "No," he murmurs. "I can't tell."

"Why not?"

"You'll get mad," he says, sounding whiny.

I let out a sigh. That gives me my answer. "Oh," is all I say. I put the first aid kit away and urge Sasuke to his feet.

We exit the bathroom. I spare Sakura a glance and the three of us go back downstairs and settle in the living room. "So, uh," I pause. "What do you guys want to do?"

"How about telling me exactly what's going on?" Sakura asks coldly, crossing her arms.

"How about no?" Sasuke retorts, mocking her tone.

She looks taken aback, though I don't know why. Sasuke isn't especially nice to her, though I suppose he's never mocked her before. He just pretends she doesn't exist. In his world, she doesn't. It's because he doesn't care. The only time he acknowledges her is when she's clingy. Then he'll tell her she's annoying and walk off. She doesn't act like that anymore, though she still wants him.

"Sakura," I cut in. "I really think you need to go home."

"I drove him here," she bites. "I deserve to know what's going on."

"I didn't ask you to drive me anywhere," Sasuke mutters. "You offered and I accepted. I didn't think there was going to be a fuckin' trade-off, for fuck's sake!"

"I'm not leaving," she declares with finality.

"Fine," Sasuke shrugs her off.

"Fine," I repeat him slowly and awkwardly, not wanting them to fight. I put the television on some stupid reality show I know Sakura likes to watch. Sasuke is spacing out, so he won't be complaining about the on screen shit storm. I sit in the middle of the three-seater, with Sakura and Sasuke on other sides of me. Sasuke is restless. I can tell. He won't sit still. "Do you want anything?" I ask him.

"Water," he says.

I nod, standing up. "Sakura?" I offer.

"I'm fine, Naruto," she says quietly.

"All right," I murmur before leaving the room. I fetch a glass of water for Sasuke, handing it to him once I return. He thanks me and sips it slowly.

Sakura watches him with a forlorn look on her face.

"Naruto?" Sasuke says my name.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

"Yeah, of course," I tell him. "You know you don't even need to ask."

"Thanks," he murmurs.

"Anytime," I reply.

It's silent again. We all watch the TV screen. To be honest, I'm kind of spacing out as well. I think we all are. We're watching the TV, but none of us are really paying attention. The plot isn't registering. Nothing is. We're just thinking about each other. We're all thinking about what's happening in the room and all the things that have gone unsaid.

It's too tense in here.

"I need a drink," I mutter, not bothering to offer Sakura anything because I know she'd decline. I don't bother offering Sasuke any either, because I know alcohol is the last thing he needs right now. Nonetheless, he stands up and follows me into the kitchen, leaving Sakura alone on the sofa.

I pour myself a shot of bourbon, downing it and trying not to cringe at the taste. I do a few more shots, drinking until I feel lighter – not quite drunk but not quite sober, either.

The entire time, Sasuke watches, not once telling me to stop. "Make her leave," he whispers.

"Why?" I ask, rinsing the shot glass out and putting the liquor away.

"I don't want her here," he says shakily.

"Why?" I ask again.

"Just make her leave," he whispers harshly, undoing the button on his jeans and pulling them below his hips. "I'll let you fuck me once she's gone, if that's incentive."

"It's not," I mutter moodily, pulling his pants back up. I start to button them, but he slaps my hand away. "We're not having sex," I tell him with finality. We haven't in a while. It wouldn't be right.

He doesn't reply to that. Instead, he leans forward and fastens his mouth to mine. Unable to push him away, I bring my hands up and cup his face, nudging his lips apart with my tongue. He lets out a quiet, little moan and the sound goes straight to my dick. I feel his frantic hands move beneath my t-shirt until –

"What the fuck!"

I pull away apart quickly and Sakura is standing in the doorway. I can see a range of emotions on her face. She's shocked and she's hurt and she's betrayed and she's confused as ever.

Sasuke presses his lips together, not saying a word. "Fuck," I growl, rubbing my eyes with my palms before slamming them down onto the countertop. "FUCK!"

Sakura lets out a bitter, angry laugh. "Naruto, what the hell is this?" she asks harshly. "Is this some kind of joke against me? If so, it's pretty fucked up."

"He's in loooove with me," Sasuke says tauntingly, buttoning his pants back up. I can't help but wonder how he knew. Then again, he always seems to know. He reads me like a book.

Sakura's eyes are wet and I have a hard time looking into them. "Naruto, is he being serious?"

"Yeah," I whisper and Sasuke gives me a callous smile.

Sakura lets out another angry laugh, shaking her head. "What the hell? Did you just conveniently forget I was just sitting in the other room? Or did you want me to see you? Is this my punishment for using you? I thought you forgave me..."

"It doesn't matter," I murmur. "No matter how I said it, you'd still react the same way."

She's flush-faced and pissed. I can tell. It's been a long time since I've seen her this angry at something I've done. I half expect her to punch me, but she doesn't. Sasuke isn't fazed. He just sits at the table, resting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his palm. "Who cares?" he drawls. "Why does any of this matter? Neither of you have a chance with me."

I can't help but chuckle at that, though I feel sick to my stomach. I'm not sure if it's grief or alcohol. "I've fucked you more times than I can count, asshole," I bite out shakily. "So don't bother going there."

"Seriously?" Sakura chokes on the word.

"Shut up!" Sasuke suddenly shouts. He gets to his feet and stands in front of me, eying me angrily.

"Make me!" I shout back. Sakura lets out a sob, the whole ordeal upsetting her. I'm not sure which part she hates the most: that Sasuke is gay or that I'm the one that got him first.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" he screams at me.

"Want me to fucking beat you?" I threaten loudly, wanting him to quiet down and stop making such a fucking scene.

"Wouldn't be the first time!" Sasuke spits. "Come on, Naruto! Hurt me! I know you want to!"

"No, Sasuke," I growl. "That's what you want, you sick fucker! You're the one with a taste for pain and punishment!"

He shoves me and before I can help it I've got my fingers around his throat.

"Naruto, stop!" Sakura pleads shakily. "Please... Naruto..."

Sasuke remains silent, staring right into my eyes. "Do it," he whispers, craning his neck. "Make it end and I'll be yours forever. No one else will have me ever again. That's what you're afraid of, right? I fuck and I fuck and I fuck... I guess I can't help it."

What a joke. What a load of crap. I feel my fingers tighten and Sakura starts crying even louder... but then I stop. I let Sasuke go. I'm not that kind of person... I'm not.

"Fuck you," he says in a whisper.

"Fuck you, too," I reply.

"You're weak," he murmurs.

"You're weaker."

Sakura sinks to the floor, sobbing openly. I sink to the floor next to her and so does Sasuke. The three of us sit silently, apart from Sakura's crying.

"I'm sorry," I say after a few minutes. I don't know who it's directed at. Probably the both of them.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Sasuke mutters.

"I didn't do anything right, either," I reply.

Sakura raises her head and stares at me and Sasuke.

"Sakura," Sasuke says her name calmly, in a buttery-smooth tone – the voice he uses to charm people.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Don't tell anyone," he warns.

"I won't," she promises quietly. She wipes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "What now?"

"I don't know," I admit.

"When did this start?" she asks.

"Months ago," I tell her. "We got drunk and it's just something that kind of happened and hasn't yet ended."

Sasuke rubs his forehead, as if he's got a headache or maybe he's just trying to suppress the rest of his anger. I know Sakura is the last person he wants knowing the details of his personal life, but it's too late. He kissed me first tonight. He unbuttoned his own damn jeans. It's his own fucking fault.

"What about your girlfriend?" Sakura asks, staring at Sasuke, who doesn't bother responding.

"It was a lie," I tell her tartly. "He doesn't have a girlfriend. He has a fifty year old man that likes to treat him like crap."

She grimaces at that. "Why?"

"This isn't your business," Sasuke cuts in tersely. "Stop asking questions... and Naruto, stop fucking answering her, you stupid piece of shit!"

Harsh.

"I'm just trying to understand," Sakura whispers, drying her eyes.

"It's not yours to understand, so stop," he demands.

Instead of looking upset, she gives me a strange look. Then she takes a page out of my book and says, "Don't be a bastard."

I stifle a snicker, pissing him off even more. "You know what?" he starts. "You guys should get back together. Clearly you deserve one another."

Sakura lets out a sigh. "I'm actually feeling relieved," she says.

"Why?" I ask.

Instead of answering, she dismisses the question. "I'm going home," she says suddenly. "I can see I'm clearly not needed or wanted."

"Sakura –" I try, but she cuts me off and shakes her head.

"It's fine, Naruto. We'll talk soon. I'm not mad anymore." She forces a smile in my direction and I do the same, then she stands up.

Sasuke follows her a moment later and the two of them walk down the hallway. In his intoxicated state, he's not going to let this go. I can hear them murmuring to one another. I stand up and move closer, listening to them speak from around the corner.

"You feel the same way," she says, calling him out instead of responding to any of his sass.

"What?" Sasuke bites.

"You feel the same way," she repeats herself. "You love him back."

He scoffs at her. "No."

"You do," she insists. "You soften when you look at him... even when you're angry, it's like you need to try hard to stay angry. It's a conscious effort, but when the moment is over all the anger melts away quickly."

He laughs at her. "Funny, that. You're pretending you know me."

"You're different with him," she muses. "Different than you are with anyone else. It's always been that way, huh? He gets you going and vice versa."

"You don't know that," he challenges.

"You're right," she relents. "I guess I'm just assuming things... but nonetheless, I think I'm right."

He remains silent, but he's probably mean-mugging the hell outta her right now.

"Don't be selfish," she says to him.

"You're not allowed to talk to me like this."

"Hm," she muses. "Naruto was right all along, you know. I had this idea of you in my head. I believed the façade you put out for everyone to see. Tonight... that was the real you, wasn't it? That isn't what I thought I loved. What I thought I loved doesn't even exist. You're not nice, Sasuke. That's why I'm relieved. I knew I would never get to have you, but... I don't think I even want you anymore. You're not nice. You're just playing with Naruto because you don't know what to do with the way you feel about him. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves better than you."

"I'm sick," he bites. "That isn't going to change."

"I know," she says lightly. "Naruto told me it was a rumor but I didn't quite believe him... especially not after tonight's events. Either way, I don't care. I've learned something recently, you know. I've learned that no matter what, you don't have an excuse to go around treating people like crap. Naruto helped me learn that. People deserve to be treated well. Even you, Sasuke. You need to treat yourself better. I think when that happens, you'll find it easier to be nice to others."

"Tch," he clicks his tongue. "You don't even know me. You're not allowed to talk to me like this."

He says that a lot. He says people aren't allowed to talk to him with harsh honesty. He gets mad when they do.

"Like what?" she asks him. "I'm just being honest. I'm not being malicious, unlike you. You need help, Sasuke. I mean it. You need major help."

"I go to a doctor," he says.

"Sure, but I doubt you actually talk to your doctor. You probably just sit there angrily, crossing your arms and watching the clock," she speaks carelessly. The words come out easy for her. I guess she's no longer afraid of pissing him off or getting on his bad side. Or maybe she's just trying to compensate for how upset she really is. I wouldn't be surprised. She can be so spiteful.

"You don't fucking know me!" he snaps.

"You're easy to read," she responds smoothly.

Sasuke doesn't say anything else. He probably wants to kill her, though. I choose now to reveal myself. I round the corner and say, "What's going on?"

Neither of them acknowledges me. "You're beautiful," she says to Sasuke. "I mean it. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, but your insides make you ugly."

"I don't care," he says harshly. "Just don't tell anyone about any of this."

"Sakura..." I murmur her name, deciding to cut in. "That's enough. Please..."

She slips her shoes back on and looks at me. "Well, now is a good a time as ever. Want to come outside and talk to me for a few minutes?"

"Sure," I say. I glance at Sasuke and say, "You can go lie down upstairs if you want."

He mutters something indiscriminate – probably an insult – before turning around. Once he leaves, I step outside with Sakura. We sit on the wooden steps and she says, "I think you deserve better."

"You don't know him like I do," I tell her. "You've seen him on a bad night."

"What's he usually like?" she wonders.

"He's pretty sensitive and he cries a lot," I admit, though he'd probably hate me for saying it aloud. "He wants to protect himself from getting hurt emotionally so he hurts himself physically. He spends too much time around people that don't treat him right and avoids the people that do treat him right... But then, around me, he'll break. He'll be himself. He'll be real. He's soft spoken, but cynical. He has a pretty dry sense of humor. There are times when he'll laugh a lot – genuinely laugh. I swear, it's my favorite sound in the world. He's just... not doing well lately."

She smiles lightly, but it's forced. I can tell. "Sounds like you really do love him."

"Yeah," I sigh. "Weird."

"I guess it's not that weird," she considers. "I shouldn't be surprised. Kids used to joke around and call you guys gay because of the time you accidentally smooched."

"Heh," I chuckle. "Even our parents joked around about that."

"Hey, Naruto...?" she asks, the tone of her voice changing.

"What is it?"

"Are you sad?" she asks. "He said you were..."

"I don't know," I admit. "I'm all over the place lately. I'm worried."

"Why?" she pries.

I close my eyes and let out a breath. "On our way to school a while ago, he started freaking out in the car. I thought he was having a panic attack but he wasn't. When I pulled over, he got out of the car and just started running. I didn't hesitate to run after him, but we got lost in the forest. I couldn't find him. When I did, he was bleeding." I clear my throat, trying not to choke on the words. "He tried to kill himself."

Sakura's eyes go wide. "What?" she asks weakly.

"Yeah," I whisper.

She covers her mouth with her palm. "Oh, God..." she whispers.

"Yeah," I repeat myself. "The person you saw in there today... that wasn't him either, Sakura. It was just another façade... or maybe the drugs."

She smiles sadly. "Really, Naruto? You're in love with him, so maybe you don't see it... There's never an excuse for the way he acts."

"He's not a bad person," I insist. "I love him, yeah, but it doesn't mean my judgement is clouded. It just means I see the parts of him others don't."

"All right," she says softly. A moment later, she stands up, fishing her car keys out of her sweater pocket. "I should head home, it's getting late."

"Bye," I murmur.

She smiles at me one last time before leaving. I watch her pull out of the driveway before going inside. I go upstairs and find Sasuke in my bed. I move closer and see that he's asleep, but his cheeks are wet so he was probably crying. It makes me feel bad... but he's in my bed, so he must not be mad. I find that immensely relieving.

I leave the room and enter the bathroom, stripping out of my day clothes, taking a piss, brushing my teeth and washing my face. I go back into my room and put on a pair of pajama pants before getting into bed with Sasuke. I roll onto my side and inch towards him, so he's pressed against me.

It's quiet, but I can hear him breathing. It's comforting. I wrap an arm around him, touching his chest. I can feel his heart. For some reason, it's comforting, too.

I close my eyes, trying once again to blank my mind but it keeps on wandering.