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Just as my mom suspected, Sasuke doesn't show up to school on Monday. Naturally, Sakura and Karin immediately notice. No big surprise there. "Why isn't Sasuke here?" Karin asks me during lunch break. "He isn't the type to miss classes."

"How the fuck would I know?" I snap, crossing my arms as we sit at a table in the cafeteria.

"Because your parents are friends with his," Sakura states, as if the answer were completely obvious. She sits down next to me while Karin takes the seat across from us.

"Right," I mutter, "but I still have no idea." I decide to lie. I don't need Sasuke to hate me more than he already does. That'll just make my life painful. I don't want to keep fighting with the bastard. He has a good way of sucking out all my energy and I want it to stop. I would ignore him, but I've tried and he makes it damn near impossible. I don't know why. He has enough on his plate as it is – like Itachi, for example. He shouldn't keep starting shit with me if he has bigger fish to fry.

I really don't get what happened between Sasuke and Itachi. They used to be so close. I remember it. Sasuke was happier back then. He was happiest when Itachi was paying attention to him, praising him... He's always been a sour guy, but he smiled around his brother. It was almost weird to see. Sasuke doesn't smile much now unless he's feeling especially elated. Those moments are few and far between... but come to think of it, it's probably the mania – just as Juugo revealed. I feel like the fact that he's manic depressive probably explains a lot about why Sasuke does some of the things he does.

||XxXx||

Come Tuesday, Sasuke shows up at school looking like nothing is amiss and Karin immediately latches onto his arm when she spots him in the hall. "Where were you yesterday?" she asks, not missing a beat.

"None of your business," Sasuke replies flatly, trying to shake her off but to no avail. Her grip is iron.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Sakura looks angry at Karin for being that close to Sasuke. I wonder I if I would feel better about myself if I broke up with Sakura. I wonder if this relationship is what's got me down. I said that we'd probably wait to end it until we're tired of it, but maybe I'm already tired. It's hard... relationships are hard, but I didn't think they were supposed to feel like this. I guess I don't know much about this kind of stuff. Sakura always tells me I'm a bad boyfriend, so it must be true. Maybe breaking up would be the best – for both of our sakes.

"Sakura," I say her name in a murmur.

"What is it, Naruto?" she asks offhandedly, still staring at Sasuke and Karin.

"I... I want..." I trail off and pause. "Can you look at me?"

She doesn't respond. She's not even fucking paying attention to me.

"Sakura?" I say her name again.

Still nothing.

"Sakura!" I raise my voice.

"What?" she snaps, turning to face me. "What do you want?"

I feel myself choke up. I don't know why. I feel like we're twelve years old again and Sakura is telling me I'm a moron and how she wishes I was more like Sasuke. Fuck that. Fuck that! I deserve more than this, don't I?

"I'm waiting, Naruto," she says after a moment of silence. She crosses her arms and urges me to talk.

"I want to break up," I tell her bluntly.

She looks surprised. "What?" she asks.

"I want to break up," I tell her once more.

She stares around the hallway, glancing at the other students – some are oblivious and some are staring at us. "Why?" she asks.

"Because you make me unhappy," I admit and my voice breaks, "and I know relationships are fucking hard, but I know I'm not supposed to feel like this, either."

Sakura closes her eyes and sighs. "I only dated you... because I knew you wanted me," she says. "I never felt anything for you. I just wanted to be wanted."

I let out a laugh that sounds like a sob. "That's really fucking stupid, you know... That's... That's so awful..."

"I know," she whispers.

I swallow harshly, refusing wholeheartedly to cry in front of a hallway of students. I shove my books back into my locker.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asks.

"Going home," I tell her, slamming the door shut and turning around. Screw school. Sasuke and Karin are staring blankly at me as I leave, but I pay them both little mind.

Fuck 'em all.

||XxXx||

When I get home, my parents ask me what I'm doing back so early but I can't bring myself to answer them. I kick off my shoes and lock myself away in my room. I shrug out of my jeans and get into my bed wearing my boxer shorts and t-shirt. I feel lighter in a way, but heavier in others and I still feel like crying...

A minute later, there's a knock at my door. "What?" I call.

"Naruto?" It's my mom. "Unlock the door!" She rattles the knob loudly and doesn't stop. I let out a groan, getting out of bed and opening the door for her.

"What is it?" I sigh at her as I burrow back under my covers.

"Why are you skipping school?" she asks, sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Because," I say vaguely.

"Because why?" she pries. "Give me a solid answer and I won't drag your ass out of here."

"I told Sakura I wanted to break up," I admit. "She was surprised... but then she said something hurtful."

"What did she say?" Mom frowns.

I let out a breath. "She told me she never even felt anything for me. She said the only reason she was with me was because she wanted to feel wanted. Funny."

"Oh, no," Mom sympathizes.

"I'm... I'm really angry," I say. My voice cracks and I feel the waterworks coming. This time, I let them. "I deserve to be angry, don't I?"

"Yeah, honey," Mom says. "You're hurt... you can be angry. It'll pass, though. It always does."

I don't bother wiping my tears. For now, I just continue to let 'em fall. I remember when Sakura finally agreed to go out with me. I was ecstatic. I was even more ecstatic when one date turned into two, which turned into three and then I asked her to be my girlfriend. I was over the moon when she said yes. But then our entire relationship changed. It was ruined. We no longer spoke. All we did was sleep together. I guess I should have known. There needs to be a healthy balance. We didn't have a healthy balance. There were nights she'd call me over just for sex and then she'd kick me out, claiming she didn't want her parents to know she had a boy in her room. I guess I was kind of like her booty call. How fucking depressing is that? I'm so stupid sometimes. I'm too desperate. Sakura and Sasuke are right about that... Oh, well. Things will only get better from here. At least the worst part is over.

"Are you all right?" Mom asks gently, reaching forward and touching my cheek.

"Yeah," I force a smile, finally wiping my eyes. "I think I just needed to let it out."

"Okay," she says, standing up. She kisses the top of my head and then says, "Take it easy today. You can go to school tomorrow." She leaves the room after that and I lie down in bed. For now, I'll sleep.

||XxXx||

"Naruto!" I hear a voice call, bringing me back to the land of the living.

I sit up and shout, "What?"

"Sasuke's here!" she announces.

What the fuck? I frown, getting up out of bed and walking downstairs. When I spot him, he doesn't look too happy. "What do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Be polite, Naruto," my mom warns me before wandering into the kitchen.

"Here's your homework," he mutters, shoving a few sheets of paper into my hand. "The teacher wanted me to give you your shit. Your annoying cousin volunteered me for the job."

"Great," I say sarcastically, carelessly putting the papers on a corner table. Karen probably just did that to fuck with me. "If she annoys you so much, just tell her you like dick or something. Jeez."

He looks scandalized. "That's not her business. Private things should remain private. I have a right to keep things a secret."

"Who the hell cares?" I snort. "You're gay, right? Just let everyone know and it'll be a hell of a lot easier on you. Girls will stop hanging off of you."

"No," he snaps.

"Why? What are you scared of?" I ask.

"I'm not scared of anything," he says pointedly.

I chuckle at that. "Everyone is scared of something. Don't be such a little bitch."

My mom reappears after that comment, arms crossed. "Boys," she says darkly. "Both of you, into the kitchen."

"I need to get home –" Sasuke starts, but my mom cuts him off.

"No," she shakes her head. "You and Naruto are going to sit down and have a civil conversation if it's the last thing I do, I swear I'll make it happen." I can't help but wonder if my mom heard me say Sasuke likes the D. If so, she's not reacting. I wonder if Mikoto knows. If she does, she probably told my mom and that'd explain the lack of shock.

Sasuke and I follow my mom into the kitchen. I slump into a chair at the table and Sasuke sits across from me. Mom sits down at the head of the table and takes a deep breath. "Okay," she starts. "We're going to take turns talking. The point of this is to be honest and open, but not mean. Got it?"

"Got it," I mutter.

"Hn," Sasuke grunts some sort of acknowledgement, resting his chin in the palm of his left hand.

"Okay, Naruto," Mom starts with an encouraging smile. "Do you have anything you'd like to say to Sasuke?"

"Uh, well –" I start, only to be cut off.

"And don't be mean!" she reminds me.

"Yeah, yeah," I murmur. "I said everything I wanted to say to him last Thursday... but clearly, that hasn't changed a damn thing because he's still sour as ever."

Sasuke remains tight jawed. "People can't change," he grits out. "It's not possible."

"They can't change the big things," I say, "but they can change the little things. I bet if you tried, you could stop being such a bastard. Jeez, just allow yourself to feel something good for once in your damn life." He's seething, but remains silent. I can't help but laugh. "Okay, Sasuke. What do you hate most about me?"

"Everything," he mutters. "I hate everything about you."

"Gimme the list," I request. "Be mean, I don't care."

"I hate your face," he bites, "namely the stupid smile you always wear. You smile too much. I hate how you take everything as a joke. I hate how big your ego is. I hate how you're always trying to fix things. I hate how you put everyone else's happiness above your own. I hate the way you throw yourself at every fucking girl who acts interested. I hate how whiny you can be..." He continues to come up with quite an impressive list, voice shaking with anger the entire time. My mom looks shocked – shocked that dear, sweet Sasuke could be so nasty. Well, she's finally seeing him the way I see him.

I smile at him, probably getting a rise out of him in the process. "Wanna know what I think?"

"Not particularly," he says.

Naturally he'd say that. "Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I think you're jealous of me."

"Jealous?" he scoffs in question.

"You wish you could be all those things," I say. "It makes you angry that you can't be. When you look at me, you see everything that you're not. I'm pretty happy with myself overall, I'm not selfish, I'm not afraid to express myself, I can laugh and I can smile..." I pause, smirking. "I'm straight."

Having heard enough, he suddenly reaches over the table and punches me in the face. "Sasuke!" Mom shrieks in a shrill tone.

He draws back and stands up, turning his back to me and my mom. I rub my nose, glad it's not bleeding. Well, I guess I asked for a hit with that last statement. "Fuckin' ouch," I mutter.

My mom stands up and carefully approaches Sasuke. She touches his shoulders and he crumbles, letting out a gut-wrenching sob. He sinks to his knees and cries into his hands. I must have struck a nerve, but still... I'm surprised. I haven't seen him cry since we were young kids, but even then, he wasn't a crier. That was always me. I ain't ashamed.

It's not as funny as I thought it would be. I thought seeing him cry would give me some sick sort of pleasure, but it doesn't. I stand up and hover a few feet away, unsure of what to do. If I try to help him, he'd only push me away. He's angry and it's even worse because he's probably embarrassed, too. My mom rubs his back and gently says, "It's okay, sweetie..."

"You hate yourself," I suddenly say. I think I just realized it – Sasuke hates himself.

His shoulders shake and he continues to cry, staring down at the floor and pulling at his hair. I mean it – I thought it'd be funny to see, but I'm not laughing. I feel kind of bad, actually. My poor mom looks like she's at a loss. "Mom... can you go upstairs for a bit?" I ask, but she looks wary at the suggestion. "I promise I won't do anything stupid," I tell her and she relents, moving away from Sasuke and standing up. She nods to me before leaving the room. Once she's gone, I sit down behind Sasuke. I put my hand on his back but he immediately moves away from the touch.

"Fuck off," he sobs pleadingly. "Fuck off...!"

"No," I say simply, inching closer. I wrap my arms around his midsection, tightening my grip when he begins to struggle. He screams for me to let him go, but I don't. He'll tire soon enough...

And I'm right. Eventually he relaxes, leaning against me so his back is pressed to my chest as he sits between my legs. He's still crying and I can't help but wonder if he's only crying because I said more things he didn't want to hear. Somehow, I doubt that. I think he's crying for a lot of reasons – reasons that he let build up. It's funny... it all had to come out when he was with me. Oh, well. I think he needs this more than anything. I think, for a change, he just needs someone to hold him and let him fucking cry and not ask questions.

"Why are you doing this?" Sasuke chokes out.

"Because I think you desperately need it and I don't mind giving it to you," I tell him.

He sniffs. "This is why I hate you... you're too fucking altruistic."

"Hm?" I question.

"You aren't supposed to be nice to me..." he murmurs. "You've ruined the pattern."

"Like I care," I snort. What a fucking weird thing to say.

He pulls away a moment later and I spin him around, forcing him to look at me. His eyes are bloodshot, his nose is red and his face is flushed. I've never seen him look this unreserved before, even when we were kids. I reach a tentative hand forward and when he doesn't swat it away, I smudge the tearstains on his cheek with my thumb. He closes his eyes, sniffling again. "We're okay now, huh?" I ask. "I think you're lying when you say you hate me." If he hated me, he'd already be long gone... but he's still here. The only person he hates here is himself.

"Shut up unless you want me to start crying all over again," he mutters, staring down at the floor.

"Heh..." I chuckle softly. "I don't mind."

"Why is that?" he asks.

"I don't know," I admit. "So... Sasuke, what do you really think of me?"

He shrugs his shoulders lightly. "You make me feel like shit..."

"Do I really?" I wonder, but he doesn't respond. I stand up and offer him my hand. He hesitates before accepting it and I pull him to his feet. He sniffs and swipes at his eyes some more. They're still watering a bit.

"I'm going," he murmurs airily, wandering out of the room.

I follow him to the front door, locking it once he exits and then going back upstairs. My mom is full of questions. Once she spots me walking past her open door, she calls me in. "Yeah?" I ask.

"So, what happened?" she urges.

"I don't know," I admit. "I let him cry. I told him that I thought he was lying when he said he hated me. He didn't deny it."

Mom smiles. "I knew you two would start to patch things up one day... though, it took long enough."

"I wouldn't say this is the start of a friendship or anything, Ma," I admit. "We're probably still going to fight a lot." But, for once in my life, I had a conversation with him that I think actually meant something. It wasn't as one sided as the talk I had with him last Thursday, either. I learned things today.

"Time will tell," Mom says.

"I guess so," I agree before returning to my bedroom. I finally put on a pair of pants over my shorts and decide to do the homework Sasuke brought over. Maybe I'll also finish that damn history essay.

Jeez, what a day.