The change in weather had already begun in early October after the peak of humid heat was finally over. Soon enough, the leaves will start to change color before they hit the ground, and fall decorations will start to line the buildings. Oklahoma was known for it's four season weather, and Ruth loved to enjoy every shift in weather change, even if it meant scorching summers, cold winters, crispy fall's, and breezy springs.

So she enjoyed her warm cup of tea just a little longer one morning on her walk to class and the cool wind slapping against her cheeks, turning the brown skin rouge. She had her curls tucked into a messy bun that in an attempt to hide all the flyaways, but it was all done in vain. They still blocked her sight and tickled her frozen ears, but seeing as how she was too excited to bring Raffo a seasonal latte, she didn't care. He tried to deny her getting him a drink, but she had insisted twice before he finally gave in.

While she was walking, however, she came across a person she hadn't talked to in quite awhile.

She paused mid-step the closer the girl got, though her eyes were unseeing as they stayed settled on the cement before her, manicured hands tucked into a light brown leather jacket, pink scarf wrapped around her neck. She hadn't realized she was walking right towards Ruth until the very last minute when she brought her head up, unintentionally making eye contact.

Ruth saw something flash behind her tightened eyes at the sight of the two cups in her hands. She swallowed thickly, shifting on her feet as she forced a smile to cross her lips, greeting the one girl in the entire school who probably hated her guts.

"Mirana . . . hey," she said. She could only hope that her smile didn't look as forced as it felt.

"Hey," Mirana forced a smile. She stopped walking for a moment to greet Ruth, which Ruth had to believe was a good sign. "How are you?"

The sweet question tore at her insides, shredding her confidence to pieces. "I'm good actually. How've you been?"

"I've been better," she admitted, glancing at the cup clutched in Ruth's sweaty palms. The flash of emotion happened again.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ruth mumbled faintly, her voice weak. "I hope everything gets better for you."

And she was being truly honest about that. She liked Mirana, and she hated the thought of hurting her the way that she was. None of it was ever intentional . . . but, then again, how do you convince someone that what happened wasn't personal? That you didn't mean to have feelings for the same person?

"Me too," Mirana agreed, sighing under her breath. "Well, I have to get going, Ruth. I'll see you around?"

Ruth cleared her throat. "Y-yeah of course. See you around."

Just when Mirana started walking away again, she went wild with panic, and swung around in her direction, ignoring the burn of hot tea sloshing on her skin. She hissed under her breath, but she didn't let that deter her from the mission at hand. She needed her to know- even if it wouldn't change anything. Not being with Raffo wasn't an option for her, and neither was giving up on her growing feelings, but that didn't mean she was an evil girl.

Ruth knew that feeling Mirana was experiencing all too well.

And she needed her to know that she didn't hurt her purposely.

"Mirana," Ruth called out, then bit her lip once Mirana glanced over her shoulder, making eye contact. "I never wanted to hurt you in any way. I—I didn't mean for it to happen, you know. To like him like this—as much as I do."

The tension between them softened with Mirana's gaze as she looked behind Ruth towards whoever was making their way over to her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who the approaching figure was.

"No one ever does," Mirana said quietly, and then without any further explanation, she was gone.

Ruth felt his presence not long after she left and knew it was him before looking. When she turned around with both drinks still in her hands, she tried to unfreeze herself enough to say something, but her mind was still reeling from what just happened with Mirana.

Luckily, that wasn't Raffo's concern just yet.

"Oh shit, Ruth!" he cursed, taking the drink out of her frozen hand. He gripped her fingers in his and closely inspected the raw area that suffered from her shaking hand. The familiar panic of anxiety settled under her chest, increasing her heart rate and giving a slight tremor to her limbs.

She looked down at Raffo's worry, following his gaze to the red skin that suffered from her lack of paying attention. "Oh."

He ran his thumb over the sensitive mark at first, carefully inspecting the area to make sure it wasn't anything worse than what it was—which it wasn't, but she let him look anyway. She didn't ask why he was so interested in an insignificant splotch on her skin, because she knew that was just something he did. Any injury Raffo found on her, whether great or small, made him worry. If she hadn't been holding the drink as evidence, he would have been asking who did that to her.

Raffo pressed a tender kiss to the burned skin, his cool lips temporarily soothing the pain and thawing her body out. She sighed softly in relief.

"What was that about?" he questioned, his gaze seeking out where Mirana had just walked off to.

Ruth nibbled on the skin behind her lip. "We um—we ran into each other right before you got here and I wanted to make sure everything was okay between us."

Raffo sighed at that, looking back down at her with a half-hearted shrug. "She'll come around. She doesn't hate you, you know."

"I know. And it's not like we were even friends, really. But I don't want us to affect your guys' relationship. It's not fair to either of you."

"Hey," he murmured, sliding a finger under her chin and lifting her face up. "We're fine. We're still friends and you haven't done anything wrong. Even if we weren't friends because of that anymore, it would be her decision to end it. Not every choice people make is because of you, Ruth. We're all capable of making them on our own."

She knew that. Of course she knew that. But could anyone blame her for struggling to get rid of those years of gaslighting? Of thinking everything that went wrong was her fault? Even Jana and Terry a month ago accused her of trying to change Raffo. Everything just always felt like her fault or her doing. All she wanted to do was fix it that one time, but Mirana still needed time.

"I know," she whispered.

"I made a choice just as much as you did. I chose you," he continued. "And I don't regret it."

Ruth's eyes clashed with Raffo's then, her breath stalling in the base of her throat. It wasn't the first time he said something similar to that, but it still got her every time. Sometimes, she swore he knew her better than she knew herself.

"I don't either," she admitted. How could she? He was everything she could have ever wanted for herself, and she had no plans of letting him go.

His crooked smile tore at her heartstrings. "Good."

They both inched forward at the same time, but instead of meeting for a kiss, they wrapped their arms around each other in a much needed embrace. Ruth buried her face in Raffo's hard chest, her eyes closing in bliss as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and wrapped his fingers soothingly into the back of her curls. And for just a little bit, right before their separate classes, she let him hold her.

*****

"Sooooo," Emily drawled out later that same day in class. Their professor hadn't begun teaching yet, leaving Ruth five minutes to figure out the meaning behind her friend's dragged out 'so'.

She cautiously looked over at Em, a plucked brow raised. "What's up?"

Emily's attempt at looking casual was much too easy to look through. She failed miserably at trying to appear nonchalant, with her twiddling fingers and lip nibbles, but when she looked over at Ruth, she dropped some of the act. "So you and Leflore, huh?"

Ruth tried not to bristle, already knowing where this conversation was probably going to go. "What about us?"

"Nothing . . . well, I just didn't know you guys were a thing, is all. I didn't even know you were into someone like that; you never mentioned you two were together."

Someone like that?

There was a hint of accusation underlying her contemptuous tone. Ruth bit her tongue to keep from snapping out the first thing that came to mind, which wouldn't have been at all pretty if she had.

"It's sort of . . . new," she admitted, her voice tight. Not that it's any of your business. "I didn't know you guys even knew each other."

"We used to run in the same social circle. But we weren't really friends so I never said anything. And before you ask—no, I never dated him. He's definitely not my type."

Ruth frowned, offended by her phrase of words and how she said them. The emphasis on 'definitely' made her defensive response snappy and hot. "Why'd you say it like that?"

Emily phases. "Do you really not know?" she asked, bluntly.

"Obviously not."

Emily sighed out under her breath. Her longing glance towards Ruth didn't last long, as she eventually looked away, her arms crossing tightly over her chest. She took a moment to respond, needing to collect it from somewhere in the back of her mind. "I'm a lesbian, Ruth."

Ruth bit her tongue.

The silence between them lasted all of class until it was time to go and Ruth busted out of there. She was over everything that day and just wanted to go home at that point. She wanted to forget about the awkwardness with Mirana and the strange annoyed tension with Emily who overstepped her boundaries. Why couldn't seeing someone ever be normal?

Unfortunately, that wasn't the worst part of Ruth's week.

*****