Epilogue

Jack

The snow and frost faded away so quickly.

Spring was pushing itself through the suburbs, and I was sitting down that same spot I always did. Under the tree that held so much memories.

On the same spot I've waited, on the same spot I've wished I had chosen her.

But that was no longer the reason I was waiting this time around.

Their familiar family car comes into view, and I see Elsa slightly kiss her husband from the passenger seat, and she got out of their car. As she opened the back seat doors, a little white-headed munchkin hops off the car, and accompanies her towards the tree-- towards me.

She was breathtaking. her platinum hair tied up in a messy bun, like she had not a single care in the world. Those baby blue eyes, the eyes that I kept on dreaming about every single day. Dark circles rimmed her eyes, but she never looked like she was tired.

She was still Elsa-- the same girl in my dreams.

"Hi.", she smiled, with Little Jack hiding behind her legs. She took the little guy's hands and led him to me, "Jack, darling, this is... your dad."

Little Jack's eyes were soft blue, looking at me intently, scared and confused.

I bent down to him and said, "Hi, Jack. You... you don't have to call me 'Dad' if you do not want to. I know that name belongs to someone else, so you can just call me Uncle Jack."

"Y- your name is Jack, too?", he asked.

I laughed, "Apparently, your mom is not that creative with names."

I gave a wink to Elsa, who playfully rolled her eyes and then turned to Little Jack, "Are you alright, dear?"

"Yes, Mommy.", he replied to her. "I can't wait to go to Disneyland, again."

"What?", I yelled at Elsa. "You already spoiled our surprise?"

Elsa giggled, "Sorry! He asks a lot of questions."

We laughed underneath that tree for a moment, before we actually got into my car to head off to Disneyland.

"So, how's school, Jack?", I asked him at the backseat.

He looked up at me through the rear view mirrors, unsure if I was safe enough to talk to, "I can count to one hundred now."

"Really?", I smiled. "You must be so smart then."

"Mommy does help me a lot.", he says.

I look over at Elsa, who was sitting on the passenger seat beside me, "Your mom really is brilliant."

She gave me her dazzling one thousand-watt smile, the smile that always sets me off into the clouds.

I never thought we'd be seen like this, inside a car, with our child...

Well, I did think about it, but I never knew that it would be in this situation.

Little Jack broke the silence, "Why are you and my Mommy not together? Why is she with my Daddy?"

Elsa and I exchanged a similar look, and I spoke up gently, "You do not understand it, yet, buddy. But, you will in time."

"I know it's unusual, darling.", Elsa tells him. "But look at the bright side. You have two awesome dads who'll help you make LEGO towers anytime."

I mouthed "Thanks" to her, who then returned the favor with another smile.

I miss her...

I miss what we used to be...

So much.

Elsa

I miss him, too.

I miss what we used to be...

So much...

Too.

But this is the real life, and this was what I had chosen... or perhaps this was the only choice I thought I had. Maybe if I had waited a little longer, or maybe if I had just let him enter my life and fill me with beautiful scars again... I would have been truly happy.

I still remember that look on his face. Lit through the darkness, at 1:58...

I still remember the words that he whispered, for just us to know...

He told me he loved me, but why did he choose someone else?

He told me he loved me, but why didn't he choose me?

He told me he loved me, but why did he go away?

Maybe it was also my fault... for not letting him explain. Perhaps it was also my fault, for I gave up so easily, and simply crossed that bridge, turning myself away from him-- from us.

I do not regret marrying Hans. He is a good husband to me, but my mind often wanders around the what if's in my life.

What if he had chosen me?

What if I had never shut the door?

What if I had just said "I do" a tad too late, so he would have said "I object" in the perfect moment to scoop me up in his arms to our happily ever after?

But the truth is, this is real life.

There is no such thing as happily ever after.

"Why did you leave the reception?", I asked him out of the blue while we were seated in front of a coffee shop at the theme park. Little Jack was playing around in a ride, that we decided to have some time on our own.

He was caught off guard, blinking at me... not knowing what to say, "What do you mean?"

"Why," I repeated. "Why did you leave the reception?"

"I figured out that you didn't want to see me, after that mess I had made in your wedding.", he sheepishly ducked his head, although he did not keep his eyes astray from mine. "You made your choice, and I couldn't bear to stay any longer to see that your choice was not me."

"My choice?", I almost yelled. "Was it my choice that ruined the both of us?!"

"You could have stopped the wedding.", he said. "I objected, and yes, it was late, but you still had a choice."

"Ha, me?", I sneered. "So, you're telling me this was all my fault? That my choice was the downfall of the story of us? That you're a better choice than him?"

"I know I'm a better choice than him.", he said, taking my hand into his. "Nobody loves you the way I do, and I'm sure as hell that you can't love anyone else the way that you loved me."

"Then you should have thought about that before you chose Erin.", I snapped, pulling away my hand.

The tears I had built up over the past years were coming back.

I was prepared for this.

I was not going to cry anymore. Not again.

I've moved on. I have a family. I have Hans.

But there my tears went.

All my anger and hatred for our twisted fate went out with every scorching teardrop that fell from my eyes.

Why did it have to be like this?

Why did fate have to play with us in such a terrible way?

Of all the people in this damned world, why us?

Why can't we have our own happily ever after the same way others do?

"I didn't mean anything, El-"

"I know.", I cut him off before he could apologize again. This was both our fault... Both the faults of our never-crossing paths of fate and life. "We tried our very best to make us happen... But we failed."

He grazed his palm over my cheek, stroking away all the tears that escaped my eyes, "I love you, Elsa. Please, please, never forget that. Never forget us."

"How could I forget?", I smiled, still tearing up. "You were the best thing that's ever been mine."

"I'm still yours.", he replied. "Forever yours."

I cried harder, realizing what I could not give to him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be yours just the same.", I said in between sobs.

"You don't have to be. Not anymore.", he said. "I am content with what we are now, and what we have."

He looked over at Little Jack, who had just finished his rides, and somehow was carrying a clear Mickey Mouse balloon, and was walking towards us with a smile from ear to ear.

In another life, maybe we could...

In another life, maybe we could have fulfilled all our promises...

Maybe we could have had the infinity that we wanted for each other.

We may never have had the infinity that we always wanted...

But maybe that's not the infinity that we needed...

We had our son, Little Jack, and he was our little infinity...

Perhaps, he's the only infinity we needed.

A/N: Unexpected? Yes, quite unexpected.

xoxo,
Julienne