Trigger warning: violence

- Evangeline -

I grab a rock and ease myself into a sitting position. With care, I angle my arm and toss the stone onto the water. But instead of skidding across the flat surface, it immediately hits the water and sinks. I sigh, dejected. I've been trying for the past quarter of an hour, with no luck.

"You should be training."

I look up, startled. I'm in the main hall - more specifically, on the bank at the back of the indoor body of water that's located in the main hall. This is usually the busiest part of the camp, but today, most of the rebels have gone, and it is empty. I especially didn't think anyone would see me here, so far back. But someone did, apparently.

"You really should be in the training room."

"Hi, Lino."

He scowls at me and doesn't budge. I saw him arguing with Gail and Dæor earlier. I suppose that he's still in a bad mood, then. "Why are you here in the first place ?" he questions, irritation somehow in his voice.

"I like it here." I grab another rock. "It's soothing." I throw it in the water in front of me. "It takes my mind off of things." I hear the soft "pluf" as the stone falls.

Actually, it's the first time I've been here. I needed to be somewhere calm, away from the others. There's a gnawing feeling in my gut that is getting harder and harder to ignore.

"When are they supposed to get back, anyways ?" I sharply ask.

His frown deepens as he shrugs. "Dunno. Soon, I guess ? They've been away for a while."

I turn back to my little rock pile. Guess I'll have to try a couple more times before they arrive.

"That's not how you do it, by the way."

"What ?" I crane my neck.

"Skipping stones. You're doing it all wrong."

"Fine," I curtly reply. All I wanted was peace, not some boy judging and bossing me around. "Show me, then."

He goes over to the amassed stones to my right as I stick my chin out. After taking an obnoxiously long time to pick one, he stands back, bends his knees, and casually flings it across the water. And to my utter and complete dismay, not only does the rock bounce off the liquid water once, or twice, or even thrice, it skids a grandiose total of five times.

I don't bother to hide my amazement as I turn to him. "How did you do that ?" I blurt out.

He shrugs again, but I can see a smile hiding behind his scowl. "Teach me. Please ?" I plead. He ruffles his hair, as if debating it. "I'll get you food from the kitchen. I saw some hidden sweets earlier," I offer. "Deal. But you better respect your part of the deal, okay ? Let's shake on it." I lift my hand over my head. His hand is small but nimble, his handshake firm. "It's a promise," I reply.

He coughs and looks down. "You know, it's easier standing up." I look down as well. My pants are pulled up, and my bare legs dangle into the cooling water. I wiggle my toes and feel the stillness of the water. "No way I'm getting up," I state. He hesitates for a moment, then drops down beside me, letting his own feet slide into the water. "Ah ? A change of heart ?" I raise an eyebrow.

"It's a warm day," he answers, gruff. "So," he shoots me a pointed look, "back to the rock skipping. You need to choose the flattest rock possible. Like this one, see ?" He shows me a smooth, triangular stone, the size of a plum. "But it's tiny," I point out, confused. "Small is better," he affirms. "Here, take this one." He gives me an even smaller one.

"Are you kidding ? It's microscopic !" He stares at me. "Fine, take mine. But don't complain when it sinks like a shipwreck." I press my mouth into one thin line but hold onto the stone.

"So, you need to flick your wrist - like so." With a toss of his arm, he sends the rock spiraling off into the distance. Tk tk tk tk tk tk tk tk."Eight. Not bad." I ignore his brag and fumble around with my own stone. Come on. You can do this. I follow his instructions and flick my wrist, hurling the stone away, but it drowns as soon as it enters into contact with the clear surface.

"You need to make the rock spin," he explains, handing me a second rock. "You're almost there." His words hearten me, and I try again. Flick.

Tk.

I jump up onto my feet. "Did you see that ?" I yell, turning towards Lino. He merely shrugs. "It was one skip." I only laugh in reply. "I did it ! Thank you !" I bend down and give his arm a squeeze. "Thank you." He pretends to brush his hair away. "I am such a great teacher." He can't stop a smile from infecting his own features. "I think I'm going to cash in on these sweets, now." I help him up, laughing all the way. "Fine, Lino, but I get a share."

Suddenly, a horrible grinding sound cuts right through the air and my euphoria. "What's that ?" I hiss, my hands flying up to protect my ears.

"The entrance." Lino's voice is barely a whisper. "They're opening the entrance."

They file through the opened doors, the defeated, the wounded and, finally, the dead. The horror, the gore of it all keeps us silent. Their eyes lifeless, they kept coming in, more and more, a seemingly never-ending parade. Lino flits in and out of the grim procession, looking for his sister, and I am entirely forgotten.

My eyes shy away from the rebels, my face composed, but it is all a facade. My heart beating fast, my mind racing, my fists curled. In every injury, every death, I see signs of the King. My father... Albeit indirectly, he has done all of this. All of it.

I swallow the accumulating saliva in my mouth in an attempt to regain my calm. But as they continue to stream in, in ever-bigger numbers, they become a flood, downing me in horror. I finally let the panic wash over me as I rush towards them. What if... What if....

My eye catches something dark. There ! Dæor. My heart gives out a stutter of relief, and I pause for a millisecond, letting myself take in his black clothes, darker in places where the cloth is infused with wet blood. A feeling of dread rolls over me, cramping my stomach and seizing my throat.

"Dæor !" I yell as I race towards him. "Please - please tell me you're alright," I gabble, my hands flying about. He turns, and I catch his face. He seems so... worn. But he's alive. He is alive.

"I'm not hurt, Evangeline." His words are comforting, but his tone makes that deadly feeling of dread only grow. Why is he not meeting my gaze ?

"Dæor ?" is all I have to ask.

He pauses, looks at the floor. Replies: "I'm sorry."

My world explodes.

A rush of words fills my mouth, but none of them seem to want to come out. I stand there, gaping, like a dying fish writhing on the ground before it is butchered. "Are.. they..." My voice is raspy, husky. My heart feels tight - so tight. Please, Dæor. Please.

"Ian and Thet are... gone."

Ba-doom, goes my heart. I clutch at my chest, gasping for air. "Aline ?" I choke out. "Aline ?" Her name is my lifeline. Don't make me let go.

"She... She's still alive." I let out a sob, my hand clawing at my mouth. Oh, Sheso-

"But... I don't think she'll make the night, Evangeline."

I don't even wait around to hear his final apology. My feet are floating, flying as I sprint outside.

I bypass all of the rebels coming in, their faces all drawn like Dæor's. None of them notice me as I hurl myself outside.

Outside. All of the bodies are outside.

They've mixed the dead and the barely living out here. And maybe for a reason - as I make my way through the make believe cemetery and let my gaze search each of them, I can barely tell both apart. My eyes spot hacked arms, crimson necks and gouged-out eyes. The horror of it is striking, but I ignore it and silently continue.

Flaming hair, flaming hair, flaming hair- Flaming hair ! I almost cry out as I fling myself down to her side.

I always thought that the red of her hair was bright, incredibly bright, almost as bright as her. But now, it seems pale in comparison to the scarlet flower blooming across her stomach. No - ruby. She's covered in ruby blood.

Her eyes are closed. Am I... too late ? I reach out - slowly - and brush her eyelids.

They flutter open, and I gasp in relief. "Evangeline ?" she croaks. I grab her hand and squeeze it. "Yeah, it's me. It's me, Aline. Evangeline. It's me, alright ? I'll go get Doctor Mulligan. He'll save you, alright ? I'll be right back."

With surprising strength, she clutches my hand back. "No. Stay."

"I- Okay. Okay, Aline." I swallow, fighting my tears.

"Evangeline ?"

"Yes ?"

"Yah gotta answer yeah, remember ?"

"Right." I smile bitterly. "Yeah, Aline."

"Thank yah fer being there. Fer being mah friend."

Her words slap me in the face. "Wait, Aline - wait ! No, it's not that bad. You can get through this."

"I need yah to do a last favor fer me."

I'm crying now, no longer able to hold it in. "Aline... "

"The Doctor won't let me be till I'm gone. But there are other people here, people who need more care than me. I'm not going to make it, Eva." Her voice is firm, strong. She is made of marble, and I am a statue of sand, ready to crumble at her every word. "It hurts too much. Eva..."

"Aline- Aline, if you go, who am I going to do my chores with ?" She laughs, a terrible screeching sound. I always loved her laugh, but now it just makes me want to claw my eyes out. "Your family is here, Eva. It's not just me, you know ? They'll be there for you."

"But I can't do it ! I can't do it without you !" I find myself howling out the words, my hands fastened to her arm. "Don't let go... I can't-"

"Eva... I need you."

Somehow, somehow, I am able to pull myself together and ask the question I would hear the answer to in my sleep till the end of my life: "Yeah, Aline ?"

"I need you to kill me."

The shock empties out the air of my lungs. "It hurts... It hurts too much, Evangeline. I was never very resistant to pain, you know... Maybe that's why I ran away."

The sound emerging from my throat isn't a word. It's a sound, as guttural and animalistic as a roar. But it's barely loud enough to be a moan.

"Please, Eva. One last favor."

And then, she finds the courage to smile.

That's when I know that I have to do it. I will live with guilt if I don't. I have to.

Slowly, I climb onto the bed, and bend down. Gathering her up into my arms, I notice how light she is. How frail - how broken, like a torn doll. I let out a sob as I pull her tighter, drawing out a hiss of pain from her.

I hate myself for being this weak. Hate myself for being this afraid. Hate myself for not having gone, not having laid my life down for hers. Why was I allowed to stay ? Why was I so worried about Dæor's death when she was right in front of me ?

"Aline..."

Images are flashing through my mind. Laughter, smiles, joy, hope, change... Aline...

"Thank you for being my friend," I murmur into her hair.

"Thank you," she replies. "I love you, Eva."

I wrap my arms around her; my hands placed to crack her spine. How can I go there ?

"Let me go." Her voice is broken. "You need to let me go."

And so I do.

End of Book One