Lonely Day // System of a Down

"Ghosted. I can't believe it." Misty kicks her feet up on the arm of my couch and grabs a handful of popcorn. "I didn't see that coming."

"Me neither." I've been wallowing for a few days now. After trying to contact Jeff more times than I should have, I gave up. He never clarified or said anything else. Just...gone.

"All that dad stuff. And coming by to surprise you. I can't believe one covert mission to spy on him drove him away." Misty continues to nosh on the popcorn while I have zero appetite.

Part of me wonders if he was just in it to score and when that didn't happen, he bolted.

But the other part of me doesn't buy it because it's not like he even tried to get in my pants. Jeff kept things surprisingly PG.

"I don't think I'll ever understand it." I'm lying on the floor next to the couch. Misty keeps trying to drop popcorn into my mouth so I'll eat something. Food sounds horrendous. I can't.

"I went to the game last night." I confess. Not my best moment but I was there to support my dad. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

"Ugh. That must have sucked."

"It really did. And the game was a bloodbath."

"Wait, literally? Were there injuries?"

I think back to what I witnessed from the press box. Normally I sit near the sidelines with my dad so obviously I wasn't going to do that and risk running into Jeff. But from the view I had, I could see pointedly that Jeff was a target. I don't understand why, other than it had something to do with whatever is going on with Reign and that guy, Declan.

"Not that I saw, but the other team was ready to rip out our guys' throats. Especially Jeff's."

"Whoa...he's got a rival team out for him? What gives? Is he a serial ghoster? Is some guy out for revenge for his sister or something?"

I shrug. That would make sense. "No clue. But he's been hanging out with our quarter back, right? And he was all concerned about doing the guy a favor earlier in the week, right before he went on communication lock down. The other week when he and I went for ice cream, we saw the rival player. The guy had a weird reaction to seeing us together. Like a smirk or something. I felt caught. Like a cheater." It still gives me the creeps.

"Okay, and..." Misty rolls her hands for me to continue.

"That was the player after Jeff at the game. It was like he was possessed. Didn't matter where Jeff was, or if he was anywhere near the ball, Declan was on him. Jeff must have been sacked at least ten times before my dad finally pulled him out. I think I saw him get kneed in the stomach, too. I don't know how the refs didn't call a penalty."

"Boys are stupid."

"I'm not arguing."

"I don't understand how they take their aggressions out on each other. Just eat a pint of ice cream, my gosh!"

I sigh. It's filled with all of the angst and emotion that I have. Every ounce. And I'm so tired. I wish I could just sleep until this all went away but I have a job and an internship, and my online courses just started again. I never get a break. Although I'm glad I don't have too much free time. I'd be an even bigger wreck.

"Okay, new plan," Misty says, bringing her legs around and sitting straight up. "Let's party."

"Blech. That sounds worse than food. I'd rather eat than be merry."

"I'm not talking about merriness. I'm talking about getting down and dirty. Dancing your troubles away. Throwing back a few shots. Living that college co-ed life we dreamed about."

I squint at my friend. "When did we ever dream about getting wasted and sweaty dancing?"

"Fine. We didn't. But we should have. Heartbreak is the perfect excuse to go a little crazy, am I right?"

"I'm not 21. Neither are you."

"When has that stopped anyone?"

"Right now. I'm not underaged drinking because a guy I went on a few dates with ghosted me. That's dumber than what he did."

It's Misty's turn to sigh. "Alright, alright, you're right. Plan B. Take out and a movie while we laze on the couch. I'll buy."

That's more my speed. I'm not fit for human interaction yet. The football game was a stretch and no one in the press booth even spoke to me.

"Sounds good. You can choose what we eat, and I'll choose what we watch." I can't let her choose a romantic movie of any sort. No kissing. Is that possible? Even all of my superhero and sci-fi movies have some kind of romantic scene. Whatever. I don't have the energy to care. I cue up an X-Men movie and slouch while Misty orders food. Maybe the Wolverine will pull me out of this funk.

Not likely.

***

"You look tired. Are you sleeping okay?" my dad asks as soon as he opens the door. I hitched a ride with Misty into Fallbrook because we were both having Sunday dinner with our families. I'd try harder to fake it with my dad if I had the energy. I'm depressed, no two ways about it.

"Meh. Things keep me up. I'll sleep after college." I shrug. I don't want him digging too deep. I'm not sure how he'll react to what Jeff has put me through and I'm not ready to find out.

"Hmmm. You need sleep." He walks to the kitchen where dinner is already cooking.

"Noted. I'll get right on that." I keep my tone light, so he doesn't give me the look. That dad look is brutal after years of leveling it on college football bros.

"What's for dinner?" Subject change. Brilliant deference tactic on my part.

"Pot roast," he says as he stirs one pot then checks on another one. "Almost ready. Can you prep a salad?"

"Sure." I pull some things out of the fridge and start chopping. In my mind I'm rehearsing generic topics to talk about with him so he doesn't ask questions, but I must take too long. Dad beats me to it.

"How's Jeff?"

Ugh. Loaded question. "Fine. I guess" I tag on that last part under my breath absentmindedly.

"Ah," he says with a knowing tone.

"Ah, what?"

"He's busy right now, Ali. You know how the season is."

"Sure." I cross my fingers that he's done.

"I'm sure he misses you, too."

Yeah, that's what does it. I can't hold it in anymore hearing that he misses me.

"I don't think so, Dad. He kind of broke up with me."

My back is to him, so I sense my dad's stunned silence rather than witness it.

"Oh," he says, still in shock.

I shrug but say nothing.

"That is not what I expected. I'm sorry, honey."

"It's okay. I'll be okay."

My dad steps behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. He's not really touchy feely so this is a big deal.

"Well, he doesn't know what he's missing with you."

"Thanks." I turn toward him and give him a watery smile.

We don't speak much more as we finish up making the food and plating it. Dad and I sit in the kitchen to eat, the same place Jeff and I nibbled on pizza as we talked to him about our relationship. It seems like so long ago but really it was only a handful of weeks since we told my dad.

Things changed so fast. I think the worst part about it is I still don't understand what happened. I'm curious enough to have questions but not ready to risk my mental health any further to seek Jeff out and ask.

But maybe my dad knows something...

"How's the season going? The game the other night was pretty brutal."

Dad grunts. "It was a disaster. Northern is always tough competition but they were worse. Dirty plays and the refs missed 'em all." Dad shakes his head. He opens his mouth to speak then shuts it suddenly.

"What?"

He looks uncomfortable. "I was going to make a comment, but I realized you might not want to hear about it."

It must have been about Jeff. He's right. I don't want to hear it, but I was there. I saw it. Maybe Dad can clear up the mystery of why Jeff had a target on his back.

"You can say it."

He shifts in his seat. "I wondered about Jeff during the game. He seemed to draw all of their worst hits."

"I noticed."

"And the fact that it was Declan had me seeing red. I don't understand why Northern picked him up after he left Fallbrook."

"Declan?" I need to know more about this. "Why would that be bad?"

Dad hesitates for a few seconds before leaning close. As if someone could hear.

"He had issues when he played for me. Some coaches would turn the other way, but I couldn't. I wasn't going to allow that kind of behavior on my team."

"I'm still in the dark, here."

He takes a deep breath. "I caught Declan doping. Using steroids. The University could be in serious hot water if athletes are using illegal performance enhancers. I had to report it." Dad rolls his neck. "Declan lost his scholarship and his acceptance. Northern got him to sign a disclaimer and put him on their roster. I think Reign had been heading in that direction, too. It was good to get Declan away from him."

My stomach flips. If ever there was an oh shit moment, this is it.

"Dad, Reign is still friends with Declan. Jeff said that Reign gave him a ride and they all got pizza after practice."

His jaw drops. "Son of a bitch."

I gasp. Dad doesn't cuss, not around me. I know he drops all the f bombs around the players. But he's never cursed in my presence.

"Did Jeff get mixed up with Declan?"

"I...I don't know. No, I don't think so." I try to remember anything he's told me. Then I picture seeing Declan glare at us in town. "He saw Jeff and I together once, over by my place. Jeff got us out of there quickly. But I thought that was so no one would find out we were seeing each other." Wasn't that why?

Or was it so I wouldn't find out why Jeff knew him?

"Damn it!" Dad stands up abruptly and tosses his napkin on the table. "Not the mess I needed right now."

I scoff.

"I've got some calls to make."

"Wait! You aren't going to report them, are you? We don't even know if anything is going on with them."

"No, I can't report based on circumstances. I do want to ask the other coaches if they've noticed anything unusual. And I've got to keep my eyes on those two a little more."

I nod. If I was still talking to Jeff, I'd call him and ask. I'd confront this and find out the truth. But I can't. I find myself wondering if he has ever been honest with me.

Dad leaves to make his phone calls. I guess dinner is over.

Once again, I made it just under the wire! Almost 11pm eastern time and almost 8pm pacific time. I'm hoping to get past the last minute chapter writing but I've spent all of my writing time this week working on Broken Promises. It's LIT and SMOKING HOT at 69k with two or three chapters to go before THE END!! I'm crossing my fingers that I finish it this weekend and send it over to Cat for revisions/editing and then Beta readers!! Be warned that the Broken Series is WAY spicier then my usual stuff. Just saying...

THANK YOU SO MUCH for being so awesome, for reading and coming back week after week for more. A few of you silent readers jump on this almost as fast as I hit publish. I see you. I appreciate you. This author's heart is full. 

I'd love your thoughts on the plot at this point!! Comments, questions, theories...all are welcome! And if you've seen my replies before you know I never get offended or irritated with your ideas or suggestions. It all makes me a better writer 🥰🥰🥰

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I can't wait for the Broken Promises cover reveal! Hoping to share it as soon as the first draft is done! 💕