When You Say Nothing At All // Ronan Keating

I'm decked out in my panda bear onesie, hood up thank you very much, with a bowl of popcorn and Phantom Menace cued up. It's not the ideal Friday night but when the guy you're dating is in the thick of preseason training, this is the plan. Nights at home with a movie is what I'm used to, anyway. No big deal.

Except I wish I could be waiting for him in his dorm, snuggled in his bed when he got home. Even if all we did was fall asleep because he was wiped out from practice, I would be in heaven. I realized that a few days ago, that I didn't care what we did. He doesn't have to wine and dine me, take me to parties or to socialize with his friends or mine. I just want time, in person not over video call, to be with him. It wouldn't even take words, because with Jeff I hear every single thing he says when he's saying nothing at all. His looks, his touch, the way he nods his head...it all says I'm important to him. That I matter. That he cares.

That's the most important part of a relationship, isn't it? The way the other person sees you, the importance you carry in their life. Jeff tells me in every gesture how important I am. It's not his fault he can't spend as much time with me as we'd both like. It's the nature of the football beast. I'm used to it.

Ugh. One thing I swore before I ever started dating was that football players were a no go. The few that were around my dad were Neanderthals. The few at my school weren't worth my time, total fuck boys. I never expected to connect with a guy who gravitated toward the sport, but I have. I've connected with Jeff on another level, one I don't understand. It's not stopping me from willingly going there, though.

"Let's get this marathon started," I say to myself and grab the remote to press play on my movie. A knock sounds at the door, turning my head toward the interruption. I hope it's not my new neighbor across the hall. That guy is...odd. He does some kind of spiritual cleansing scream every morning and evening. I mean, I get it. Some days I want to scream along with him. But it's not something I want to listen to every single day.

I put the popcorn on the side table and reach for the door.

"Who is it?" I wish there was a peep hole. I'd like a sneak peek before opening up to the unknown.

"Delivery." A deep voice responds. Not my neighbor, thank goodness.

I crack the door open to make sure, a girl can't be too careful, and scream.

"Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?" I throw the door open the entire way, Jeff standing in the hall looking entirely like a snack. His grey t-shirt molds over his muscular build, dark blue athletic shorts showing off his thighs and skin tanned from being out in the sun all day for the past few weeks. Shaggy hair, still a little damp from his post practice shower flops over his eyebrows. I love his hair. It's soft and the perfect length to grab onto when he's kissing me.

I jump into his arms as he laughs.

"Coach gave us the night off as a reward for a great week of practice, so I came straight here."

"Best reward ever." I grip his back, wrapping my arms even tighter around him. My legs are around his waist, locked at the ankles. I have my eyes closed but I can sense him walking us into my apartment. Then the door closes, Jeff turns us around and my back is pressed up against the wall. Jeff's lips don't just connect with mine, they overtake them. The kiss didn't go from zero to sixty, it started at a hundred and twenty. I can't catch my breath but who cares? Jeff pulls my arms from around his neck, his hands sliding down to my wrists. He lifts my hands over our heads and holds me hostage against the wall as he continues to devour me.

"Oh." I say it on a sigh as his lips trail kisses along my jaw and down my neck.

"I've been dreaming about this, sweetheart." His lips move against my skin, his teeth biting gently between words.

I wrench my arms free, grab his head and direct his lips back to mine where they belong. "Couch." I demand. I would have said bed, but I don't want him to fall asleep yet and one thing I know about hell week, which this has been, is that the guys are dog tired afterwards.

Jeff carries me to the couch, sitting with me straddling his lap. His hands are in my hair--having pulled my hood off when we sat down--his tongue in my mouth. He doesn't seem tired, however, when he moves his hands down my back and hauls me closer to him. In fact, there's one part in particular that's woken up. Wide awake, to be more accurate. He's pressing me against every part of him. I'm a live wire of desire.

"Sexiest panda ever," he says, still mauling me.

"Jeff, slow down." I'm overwhelmed and need to take a breath. My guy doesn't hesitate, immediately backing up and giving me space.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry I'm moving too fast. I just missed you so damn much." The look in his eyes matches mine. Want, affection and concern.

"No, that's not it. It's all overwhelming, how much I like you, and how much I like this."

Jeff brings his forehead to mine and nods. "Yeah, it really is."

We sit that way for a few minutes, until our breathing slows down and we can think straight.

"Right before you knocked on my door, I was wishing I could surprise you in your dorm room." I confess my earlier thoughts without realizing how it would sound. But now that the words are out in the open, I realize that it sounds like I'm complaining.

"Shit, Ali. I'm sorry we can't be more public."

"It's not your fault."

"It kind of is."

"Not even a little. If we should blame anyone, it should be my dad." I wince at the accusation. I shouldn't blame him, but I think I do unconsciously.

"Nah, he's just looking out for us." Jeff takes a deep breath then leans back and looks me in the eye. "Let's get out of here. Let's go be with the land of the living and grab some food."

"In public?" I laugh. "Daring."

"We're in the next town. It's safe enough." Jeff slides me off his lap and stands, reaching for my hand to pull me up. "Now, get out of that sexy panda suit and come out with me."

"Okay, bossy pants." I salute my boyfriend and change into yoga pants and a Seattle Seahawks shirt. Jeff gives me a side eye, he's clearly not a twelfth man, then grabs my hand and pulls me out my door and off we go.

***

"Frozen yogurt was an excellent plan," I say around a mouthful of cookies and cream.

"The best." He agrees, tapping spoons with me in a mock toast. We're sitting in front of the yogurt place on their patio chairs. My town isn't very big, the downtown is nothing like Fallbrook's, but there is a nice atmosphere in this stretch of shops and businesses. Quaint is the word to describe it. Jeff and I are taking our time with our outing but I'm wondering how long he has to hang out.

"Want to watch a movie when we get back? I was about to start the Phantom Menace."

Jeff freezes mid bite, staring at me with wide eyes. "Da pantom menath?" he asks around his spoon. "Why?"

Confused, I tilt my head and look at him. "Because it's the first part of the saga and I like to watch them in story order not release date order. That is a thing, Jeff."

He shakes his head, pulling the spoon out of his mouth. "No, no. Not what I mean. What I'm saying is, why bother watching that first trilogy at all? They suck."

"While I agree that they don't hold the same degree of story telling strength as the original movies, or even the latest installment, Anakin's backstory is an important key to the beginning of the Empire."

Jeff laughs. "It was a waste of new CGI technology, not a key plot point. The whole trade debate was over complicated and the battle scenes were anticlimactic."

"Woah, woah, hold up. This might be a deal breaker."

Jeff tosses his empty yogurt cup in the trash then stands and pulls me up. "Nope. Not letting a little Star Wars debate break us apart. I'll happily concede to your points if you let me kiss you every time Jar Jar speaks. It will be our own little drinking game, minus the drinks but with all of the intoxication." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I laugh. How can a girl say no to that? "What are we waiting for?"

Hand in hand, Jeff walks me down the street to his car. About ten feet from where it's parked, he stops dead in his tracks focused with laser sharp intensity at something across the street. I glance up to see a guy I recognize staring at us. I swallow roughly, because the look on the guys face is smug. Smug in a way that seems almost sinister.

"Do you know him?" I whisper.

Jeff grunts in what I assume is an affirmative response.

"He used to play at Fallbrook."

Jeff tenses at my words. "When?"

"About four years ago." I remember my freshman year of high school when I went to a few practices with my dad, serving as a water girl over the summer to earn a few extra bucks. I don't remember his name, but I do remember that he got kicked off the team.

Jeff says nothing more as he hurries us the last few steps to the car, throwing the door open and practically shoving me inside. I barely have my seatbelt fastened when Jeff pulls away from the curb.

"Don't make a scene driving away. That will just draw his attention." I advise Jeff as I sense he wants to gun it. "He's not going to contact my dad. I don't even think he keeps in touch with any of the guys from the team after being kicked off."

"He was kicked off?" I can hear the shock in his voice as he asks. "For what?"

That's shear panic in his tone. "I don't know. But whatever it was also got him kicked out of school."

"Fuck." Jeff's declaration sounds defeated.

"What?"

He glances my way, then returns to focus on the road. "Nothing. I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I need to. But the quarterback still hangs with the guy. So there is a connection. I don't want it to become something they hold over my head already. I'm a freshman. No playing time or power on the team at all. There shouldn't be a reason for them to harass me. But the veterans tend to use whatever they can." He rolls his head, stretching out his neck. "I just need to chill."

"We have plans to do just that. Let's get intoxicated on Jar Jar kisses. I'll even put my sexy panda suit back on." Not that it's sexy, at all.

Jeff takes my hand and pulls it to his lips. "Sounds perfect." He relaxes a bit, driving us back to my place.

He seems tense as I boot up the movie, stressed even. I cuddle into him hoping to relax some of the tension. No deal. He's wound up tight.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I lean back so I can look into his eyes. Jeff locks gazes with me and I see the worry on his face. He closes his eyes and drops his head back onto the couch.

"I'm letting my imagination run away. That guy, Declan, gave me a weird vibe the other day and I'm playing that out like a bad thriller movie."

I rub my hand on his chest. "From what I remember he was a quiet guy back when he was on the team. I never saw anything go down between him and my dad. Or him and any other players for that matter."

Jeff nods, his head still reclined on the couch and eyes closed. "That's good."

"It's not like we were making out or anything. You could always play it off like we're friends who grew up together."

That does bring Jeff's head up, eyes burning into mine. "I wouldn't ever play you off. If he confronts me with it, I won't lie. You're more important than what some guy on a rival team thinks."

I smile and lean back against him. Jeff is a good guy. I'm so glad I tripped and fell on him. I wish I knew when we'd be able to do this again, but I'll have to be patient until the season ends, I guess.

Sexy Panda Suit!! I couldn't resist. This was another chapter that flowed for me so I'm hopeful we are out of the writing dungeon and onto the good stuff 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Plus, INEVITABLE IS SOOOOO CLOSE TO 1 MILLION READS!!! Have you met Brax and Savanna yet? YOU SHOULD! And *wink* one of them just might show up in this story... remember that Jeff's mom's BFF is married to Brax's "uncle" Grinder? *author smirk*

But this song...let me say I love a lot of things about it, how romantic and sweet it is, but I HATE the canned sounding background singers. YUCK!! It takes me back to my high school show choir days and that stuff only sounds good on stage in competition. I tried to find a better version, and would have used the original Allison Krause version but I like the tone of this one better. So oh well.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Thank you so much for reading!! ❤️❤️