September // Earth, Wind & Fire

I'm confused.

I thought I'd made up my mind about Jeff. That he'd pushed beyond a boundary and I was drawing my line even deeper. He can't ghost me the way he did and then expect me to let it go. Understand. Forgive him.

But when I saw him waiting on his front porch for us, and the way he lit up when I got out of the car...all of my resolve became sand, slipping out of my fingers. I forgot all of the reasons why I should be cautious. All of the ways he'd hurt me. All of the tears I'd cried.

Driving up the familiar road to the place where he'd made me believe in us, messed with my head. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to smile at him. I was desperate for him to get closer, to kiss me. But should I? Am I the girl who lets a guy walk all over her? Can I face myself in the mirror if I take him back and he does this again?

I'm so stuck in my thoughts I barely register walking into the cabin, stowing our bags in the bedrooms of our choice and getting settled. I find myself standing in one of the upstairs bedrooms looking out the window onto the back deck.

Where Jeff is standing. Staring off into the woods.

How can I want him so badly after the way he shut me out?

A knock on the door wakes me from my stupor.

"Yeah?"

"You good? I haven't seen you since we got here an hour ago. And Jeff is barely coherent. It's like the two of you got sucked into a vortex and taken to a galaxy far, far away."

I rub my face. A lame attempt at returning to the present.

"Feels something like that coming back here."

"Ah, memories."

"Exactly."

Misty fully enters the room, crossing to me and throwing her arms around my shoulders.

"I think he's sorry, don't you?"

"Is that enough?"

Misty steps back, pulls my hands away from my face and levels a hard look at me.

"It's not like he had a side piece and kept you on standby. He didn't sell the drugs or do them himself. He wasn't gaslighting you, cheating on you, using you or worse..."

"What's worse than all that?" My eyes wide as I ask.

"That's my point. In the grand scheme of things, on a scale of taking your dessert without asking, to leaving a trail of baby mamas around town, Jeff's faux pax was relatively minor."

"Ghosting me for weeks on end? Back room deals with my dad of all people?"

"Even your dad admitted he was mostly to blame for that." Misty cocks her head to the side, looking me over. "What is this resistance? Why are you so hard to forgive him?"

I plop myself onto the bed. "I never wanted to be that girl, the one who lets a guy walk all over her and takes him back too easily. I have boundaries. I deserve better."

Misty leans down, level with my eyes, and places her hand on my shoulder. "He got caught up in a bad situation and was desperate to keep you safe. That's not crossing a boundary. That's putting you first."

I lose it. I crumble at the waist and sob my guts out because she's right, but I'm still scared.

"Going back to him says nothing about you being a doormat or an enabler. It just means you realize the sacrifice he was making and love him for it because it was the only thing a dumb college football player and his equally dumb grown-ass adult coach could come up with."

Now I'm laughing. "You have a wicked way with words, Mist."

"That I do. And don't forget it. I'm going for a walk. A nice long one that will take me back to a wifi signal so I can scroll social media and keep in touch with the rest of the world."

I side eye my best friend. "Are you trying to give us privacy or trying to text a certain cop I think you might be obsessed with."

Misty turns her nose up and marches to the doorway. "I have no clue what you are talking about. Toodle loo." After a wave of her fingers, I hear her bound down the stairs and out the front door. It slams behind her leaving a strange silence in its wake.

I guess now is as good a time as any to talk with Jeff. I wipe my eyes one more time and take slow, measured steps down the stairs, not sure what to say to him. My stomach is in knots. When I make it to the sliding doors of the deck, I see that Jeff hasn't moved an inch since I last looked. His forearms rest on the rail, back slightly bent and eyes gazing away from me. I'm stand inside the house, a quarter inch thick slab of glass all that lies between us physically while a canyon of fears keeps me from crossing to him.

What am I afraid of?

I know without much thought. Whatever relationship we can salvage won't survive going through anything like this a second time. I'd be done. Would he ever shut me out like that again? Was it really only to keep me safe? Was he secretly happy to have a break from me?

Misty would say of course not, that he willingly put up with my dad for all of this. But I'm not so sure because my dad was his coach first, before anything ever started between us. That relationship is the difference between riding the bench all season or getting time on the field where scouts are watching. He may only be a freshman, but laying the groundwork now is important. I've been around this world long enough to know.

Jeff straightens up and turns around before I have a chance to step away from the glass. I suck in a breath as he freezes and looks at me. He stands still, maybe waiting for me to do something, to open the door and step outside, or to walk away. I do neither, standing in place and allowing myself to really look at him.

Our gazes locked, Jeff takes a step in my direction, then another. I don't make a move while his feet continue their path toward me. Then he's standing on the other side of the glass, waiting.

We stare at each other, neither of us reaching for the handle or stepping away. It's like we've both dug into our spots and refuse to be the first to cross the invisible line that's keeping us apart.

I close my eyes, blocking him out. I need a second to catch my breath. That's when I realize. I'm breathless. Needy. Lost without him. I have been and will be until we can come together.

When I open my eyes to seek Jeff's again, his are different. I watch as he looks worried, then confused and finally relieved. That's when he grabs the handle and slides open the door. Slowly. His gaze never leaves mine as he reaches for me, pulling me a step closer and out onto the deck.

I look up at him, searching his eyes for something, anything that tells me the truth of his intentions. His eyes, dark brown and set on me, say everything. I recognize all of the emotions peering back at me because they match my own.

My lips part and a second later Jeff has taken them. His mouth covers mine, pressing gently at first before moving. The pressure increases as he pulls me closer, angling his head just so, parting my lips further with his tongue, dipping inside and setting my skin on fire.

My arms rise to loop around his neck. My fingers slide into his hair, playing with the soft curls at the ends. Then I sigh. All of the tension leaves my body in a gust. Every part of me missed every part of him so having him close, kissing him, touching him, is more than a relief. It's a need I didn't realize was this strong.

"God, you feel it, too," he says, pulling his lips from mine and peppering my cheek with kisses. "It felt like insanity being away from you. Torture."

"Don't ever do that again."

"No. Never. I can't let you go."

"I mean it, Jeff. Don't make decisions about my life without including me."

"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I was so fucking scared."

I hold him tighter. Pull him closer. Not able to get close enough.

Next thing I know, Jeff is looking at me with an intensity that takes my breath away. His forehead touches mine as he bends to slide an arm beneath my knees. With hardly any effort, He lifts me up, cradling my body against his as he walks us into the house.

"Where's Misty?"

"Took a walk. We have an hour. Maybe less."

A sultry smirk looks back at me, Jeff thinking the same thing I am.

"Better make the most of this privacy."

I nod as he drops me onto the couch then climbs over me. We proceed to make out, making up for every lost kiss. At some point our shirts are pushed up and the bare skin of our stomachs is touching. His lips are on my neck, on that tender spot just below my ear, then on my shoulder and top of my chest. He must sense I'm not ready to take things any further, at least not yet and not with Misty's return looming, because he doesn't even try. As passionate and sexy as this make out session is, we keep things pretty PG.

Our movements and our roving hands start to slow down, taper off. Jeff rolls us to our side, the extra wide sofa being big enough for both of us. He cups my face, kisses my lips, then my nose, and brushes my chin with his thumb.

"I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

I smile. "Just pretty sure?"

He shakes his head. "No. I'm positive. But I didn't want to freak you out saying it so soon."

I nod. "When did you know?"

"I knew it was possible the night we met. You were the game changer. I knew I was falling when you took me to meet your dad and I wasn't sick to my stomach with worry. I'd already decided you were worth whatever I needed to go through."

"But..."

"But I knew with absolute certainty I was head over heels, ready to pledge my life, when Declan said your name in that garage. I've never been so scared by anything as that. It could only be because I knew you were already my entire life and I wasn't going to let anyone take my life from me."

Tears pool under my lashes as Jeff speaks, handing over his heart. I close my eyes and they spill over but that doesn't deter me from giving him a piece of my soul.

"I knew when you caught me."

"Which time? When we got food together at that concert? When I got your number the next morning?"

"No. When I fell, and you literally caught me."

"Then? We hadn't even spoken yet!"

I shrug. "That's all it took."

"So, what you're saying is..."

"That I love you, too."

Jeff once again presses his lips to mine. He steals my breath with his passion. Need begins to build, need for him. Need to be closer, as close as possible.

Before I can consider my next move, the front door bursts open.

"I'm back! Get decent so we can make food. I've got a plan."

Jeff drops his head to my shoulder and groans. I share his sentiments. But I'm silently glad for the distraction. I want to take things slow after all that's happened. A quickie on the couch isn't exactly the most romantic first time. It's not that I need rose petals and champaign, but guaranteed privacy for more than 20 minutes would be nice.

"What are we making?" I ask, my voice strained and gruff. A good make out will do that to a girl.

"Breakfast for dinner. Pancakes, eggs and bacon."

"Sounds good," Jeff says as he maneuvers back to a sitting position. Not easily done after being tangled up together. Misty doesn't seem fazed by the state she found us in.

"Sounds easy. It's all I can make." Misty shrugs then bounces off to the kitchen with her bag of goodies.

"Where did you get all that?" I ask, following her.

"Charlie hooked me up. I ran into her down the hill. She's so cool. Micah's an idiot."

I snort. "Seems to be a trend." I glance back at Jeff who's scowling in my direction.

"Meh. Boys can be clueless. I think it takes decades for them to figure shit out. That's why so many girls our age date up."

I nudge her hip with mine. "And is that why you're harboring some not-so-platonic daydreams about Officer McHottie."

"Who's hot?" Jeff yells from the other room.

"You are babe!" I call back.

"Damn straight. I'm going to build a fire in the pit out back."

"Manly." Misty winks.

"You avoided my question."

"No. Your man answered it. He's hot, you said so yourself. And might I add, congrats on the make up kissing. Sorry I couldn't give you more time, but my stomach got mad at me."

I wave her off. "No biggie. I'm good."

"Oh, believe me. You will be. That boy was sporting a glow for you."

I smile.

"That tent in his pants is probably responsible."

"Geez, Misty!"

She laughs. I laugh. Then we make pancakes and eat breakfast at sunset by a warm fire, surrounded by nature. I find myself wondering how long we'll be able to escape reality up here and sad at the thought of leaving.

Who knew being sequestered for our safety would bring us back together? I glance around at the mountain where it all started and realize it's all meant to be.

They're back!! Jeff and Alison are combustable. AND THEY HAD A ROSS AND RACHEL MOMENT AT THE SLIDING GLASS DOOR! I didn't realize it until way after I wrote it, but then that iconic scene came to mind and I went, oh. Yeah that's what I did there. LOL!!

Misty saves the day then ruins it, haha. Don't worry, these two will have their moment.

I have been waiting so long to use this one! It wasn't in September, but dang did Alison remember 😉

https://youtu.be/Gs069dndIYk