If you have not been following the off screen adventures of Moon and Stars, only The Ghoul in Pajamas and The Seer Overheard (in that order, the first uncomfortably raunchy, the second a full blown lemon) is directly referenced below, but it's mild enough you still don't have to read those if you have no desire to, yet they are relevant to the conversation they have here.

Gentle trigger warning for Regulus in here by the way. It's never anything explicit in fic, but I do imagine these two grew up in a household that's as borderline if not more so abusive than the Dursleys and Regulus reflects on quite a lot that can be unpleasant to read if you're not in the right way emotionally at this time. Please be kind to yourself.

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Sirius startled out of his chairs hardest of all, smacking his head on the table and falling to the floor to see Regulus nearly hyperventilating as he rubbed at his ears for all the spontaneous loud noise. Prongs and Moony leapt to their feet and almost raced each other up to the old drawing room, but he stayed frozen in place, torn in two.

If that locket was in there, he couldn't let Prongs out of his sight! He couldn't just ignore Regulus anymore when it wasn't a convenient time, it would ruin whatever little progress he'd made! Longbottom and Alice had gone after his mates, but Evans had hesitated as well seeing Regulus like this. Peter was doing what he did best, just sitting patiently quiet and still as the kid got his bearings, he well knew Frank and Alice were formidable and could get out of their own scraps, his mates would be fine. He hovered useless now, one foot on the stairs and looking longingly back and forth.

"I'm fine," Regulus still had his eyes closed, he was rubbing at his temples and looking extremely off color, but his voice was steady.

Lily opened her mouth tentatively, but Sirius charged up the stairs with fury in his heart and turned not to finish going up the rest of the house, but into the portraits gallery where Walburga Black's voice was now shouting louder than ever every awful thing he'd ever heard in his life and then some. He silently cast Silencio at first his useless mother, then every other Black decoration. Her hands still clawed in fury inside her painting at the sight of him, he was biting his tongue in frustration to stop himself shouting back at the old bitch. That charm wasn't going to last long, but hopefully just long enough to get them out of this miserable house!

He heard something break upstairs and went wearily towards the first flight.

Regulus was not fine. His head was pounding like every argument he'd ever avoided in his home was coming back now and folding into the one spot right at the center of his forehead.

He was such an idiot-

How had he never noticed-

No wonder Sirius hated him-

Maybe Peter was lying-

But he had no reason to-

Why not him-

Those looks of pity Sirius so often gave him-

It was so obvious now-

It's no wonder he hates you-

Merlin he was such an idiot!

He slammed the back of his head against the cupboard but the pain did not recenter.

"Regulus?" Lily's kind voice echoed from a long ways off, he felt more than saw distantly as Peter shifted his weight and made a noise of distress. He'd seen the look on Lily Evans's face as she'd been forced to see time and time again what a loathsome person Severus was in this future, watched Peter be confronted with the worst of himself like a repeated slap in the face that his friends had only made worse by not refuting the possibility.

There was merciful silence in the rest of the house, and it had never felt louder to him as his world shifted, but unlike them, he had nobody to blame but himself.

Their parents didn't hate Sirius just because he loved talking, they were cruel to him because he never shut up. Sirius had known all along what he'd had to have shoved in his face and Mum and Dad would refuse to see, or start cursing him too. It wasn't ignorance on their part, they really believed they were like Voldemort, better than the likes of Peter and Lily because- why?! He still didn't understand, wanted to know what had made them this way. Tom Riddle had no standing, he was a half-blood, a meaningless description of status he'd been born with.

Sirius had tried to tell him that once. Regulus had always been told the Dark Lord would make everyone equal and he'd never questioned how he would go about doing that, things would just be fair and everyone would be happy all the time. He really was an idiotic, useless child.

"Regulus?" Lily touched him gently on the shoulder, she had the book in hand and a very sad smile in place as she looked from the empty stairs and back to him. If only his mothers shouting had been the biggest pain in his life. What more had Sirius dealt with he'd been too stupid to even think of? "The next chapter's about Kreacher, I bet Harry calls him and asks if he's seen that Horcrux around here."

Peter was shifting guiltily in place but watching him with something akin to empathy. He didn't know why any of them put up with him, like an infant they'd had to babysit this whole time and re-teach right from wrong because all he'd ever wanted was to make his parents proud, and everyone else suffered for it.

The book was open in her hand, the chapter title looming at him. Kreacher's Tale. He'd always loved his house-elf, the one thing that had set him apart from even Sirius in his family. Mum and Dad treated him like portable furniture, Sirius gave him despicable looks, but Kreacher had never asked anything of him, because Kreacher was the only one in this house he didn't have to think before he spoke to. He'd never had to do anything to earn his affection but just talk to him, very much like his two friends.

"Thanks," his voice sounded shakey, he took the book that felt heavy and cold. They'd all seen him run off like a coward that first time his mother and Sirius had squared off. How had he ever the nerve to do something like steal a bit of Voldemort's soul when he hadn't the heart to ever stand up to anyone?

"Hey Evans," Peter said not unkindly, but little room in his voice for argument. "I think I hear Alice shouting, you mind checking on them?"

"Oh, yeah," Lily agreed with a smile and simple enough shrug. She knew a dismissal when she heard one, and her and Regulus were friends, but everyone was well aware he and Peter were mates by this point.

Regulus swallowed, set the book down, and knocked his head against the cupboard again. Just looking down at the first sentence with a pit. He tried to speak, but a bit of blood sprayed the page. He licked the inside of his cheek in surprise, but couldn't feel any pain, even if he now felt the gash.

"Sorry," Peter whispered, waving his wand and maneuvering a glass through the air with too much vigor, it thunked against the ceiling. "Shouldn't have just sprung that on you like that, especially here." He filled it at the tap, and then almost made it over here before it began spinning and rocking in the air, soaring too fast and smacking the wall above them.

"For the love of," he huffed, reaching up and catching it.

"Thanks," he smiled all the same, having enjoyed the show a bit but thinking it probably wasn't polite to say. Then again, what did he know about anything anymore. He swallowed half the glass and didn't let himself hesitate or think it over as he asked, "how long have you known?"

Peter stewed on that for a moment, frowning at the ceiling before looking back at him. "End of second year. Walburga sent him this howler at the crack of dawn, woke us all up in a state because he'd picked Muggle Studies as an elective."

Regulus closed his eyes and swallowed, he remembered that very well, abandoning his breakfast as he'd crawled right into Kreacher's cupboard for the nearest place and shut the door and she nor father had noticed they'd been so furious over Sirius once again defying the classes they wanted him to. His thoughts had been no kinder to his brother at the time for once again causing them unneeded distress and leaving him here to hear about it. Kreacher had brought him a blanket and a cup of coco until they moved into the drawing room.

"Later, down at the lake, James finally asked him outright just what they were like. Prongs had been kind of trying to ask for the past two years at that point and Sirius, edged around it a lot, made some shitty comments, but he told us then, said he didn't want to come home that summer because he knew they'd-" he stopped with a wince.

Regulus was pretty confident he wasn't breathing at this point, but he was still watching, and Peter gave a restless shrug. "James nearly blew up the lake he was so infuriated. Moony was up in the dorm asleep, full moon that week and he'd been studying for exams like a fiend. I'm pretty sure he knows though, we were all real quiet on the train and he never asked why. Anyways, it didn't go anywhere. Sirius brushed it off, said they always fixed him up right quick enough and they'd probably give up on him for good after that stunt, what with you about to start school and such and their favorite child doing right. I'm paraphrasing a bit," he finished with distant eyes.

"And you?" He asked.

Peter swallowed and looked near tears. "I sat and watched and told him if he wanted to run away my mum would pick him up wherever in London he was. James told him their house's Floo connection was always open. I get the feeling Padfoot took more to Prongs's suggestion."

"I didn't know," he needlessly defended like the guilty party he was, "I swear, it's no wonder he hates me, they never, I mean I-"

"Regulus, nobody hates you," Peter said firmly, looking at him properly again. "Sirius doesn't, nobody blames you. This house is, is-" he struggled to even come up with the right kind of terror this place was. "It's not your fault, alright, it's Walburga and Orion's. You don't get to decide your parents, just how to choose to live with them."

Neither of them knew about wizarding laws, what would and wouldn't the Ministry do if Regulus made a run for it like Sirius? His parents had connections in there to find him if he pulled a stunt like his brother. Would they write him off too, just a blast off the wall like a commemorable chip to depart the last of the Black's? Somehow he doubted that, they were very invested in his outcome, they'd made that clear long ago. He'd often felt special, in the right, happy with the knowledge he was loved more than his brother most days because they had plans for his future and he'd follow through with them. Doing the opposite of Sirius had kept him in their good graces, but he'd still held out hope maybe Sirius would figure out he was doing the right thing and play along and things would be better.

Where did that leave him? To stay and pretend everything was fine until he turned of age? Would his parents guess at the difference in him? Did they know Occlumency? He knew at least Bellatrix was learning now, and the Dark Lord didn't care if you were of age anyways, he'd expect services as soon as sixteen apparently, if not sooner if he found some other use. His parents would give him up without batting an eye, if they weren't Death Eater's themselves then they were like Narcissa and Draco, as good as by proximity.

He flipped restlessly through the blank pages of the book, but there was no answer for him in here, his story had long since played out before Harry was even born. 'The world wasn't split into good people and Death Eater's,' Sirius had once told his future godson, speaking of Umbridge. He gave a watery scoff now, wondering when his brother had come to that conclusion. During his wrongful imprisonment in Azkaban? When he heard about Regulus dying for a cause he'd so ignorantly believed in? It didn't seem like Sirius hated him so much recently, but he could never quite be sure with his big brother. He had a better one now in James.

"Hey Peter," he sighed, back to biting on the inside of his cheek already. It didn't help at all, he had no idea why he did it. Peter still looked guilty for throwing this in his lap without warning, but it was better than anything he'd ever done. "Thanks."

"Yeah, back at you," he nodded.

To join the Order or be a spy for Voldemort? Was there no third option? "You know how you told James you weren't going to participate in the Order? Wanted some distance so you wouldn't be involved."

"Yeah," he agreed, some old sadness still coloring his face for how reluctant Prongs still was to let him go, but he hadn't fought him on that back in the Three Broomsticks, just wished him well.

"What else is, out there to do?" The idea baffled Regulus.

Peter finally gave some sort of semblance of a cheerful smile again even if he shrugged again. "Not sure. I have this friend in my potions class, we sat together back in first year before I started helping the guys. We still talk sometimes, it's not like those idiots ever pay attention in Slughorn's class and they distract me all the time, so we swap notes. Anyways, she wants to travel the world and we talk about it a lot." He finished on a wistful note himself. "Traveling alone sounds boring though," he added, still watching him pointedly as he continued trying to chew through his face.

"Merlin forbid we have a boring life after this catastrophe," he chuckled. He went back to the proper page and swallowed before adding, "your friend had any good suggestion?"

"Her and her girlfriend want to travel to Belize I think," he shrugged. "Personally, after all the hellish forceful travel we've been doing," he needlessly gestured around, "I'd take a Muggle vessel as far away as I can afford and then just, start walking."

Regulus nodded in agreement and laughed, "I can't believe I miss walking."

"With the benefit of not having to worry about smacking into an invisible barrier, yeah," Peter snickered.

Regulus sniffed one last time and looked at the stairs, thinking of every crevice of his home. He wished Sirius had told him the truth, but even to himself it sounded insane. Sirius and his parents had been at odds for as long as he could remember. He'd never gotten involved, the shouting had been his limit when Sirius thrived in the noise, and now he knew why. It was the only attention he'd ever known. If his brother had ever attempted to get him involved, he couldn't even tell himself what good he would have done.

All was quiet now as he rested beside his friend and broke it himself to read about Harry waking up, his friends sleeping on. Harry took to wandering Sirius' last crypt thinking of Dumbledore and ending up in his older brother's room, the place being ransacked apparently like the rest of the house. In search of the Locket? Alice's shouts hadn't sound particularly concerned or excited, so he'd pretty well guessed it wasn't here, he liked to think Lily or her would have come down and told them properly.

Peter went rather glum as the picture of the Marauders was described, and Regulus sighed for the past and future colliding like that for him. It couldn't be an easy thing, to feel so easily forgotten about like that dusty old room Sirius had never returned to. Peter could never do such an awful thing now, his future spelled out and living through the consequences of this child's life, but his friend's absence from the room spoke volumes that they'd never fully believe that.

Harry found a letter from his mum to Sirius, and that was strange to think about. Lily was only just now on good terms with the Marauders, let alone casually using their nicknames and gushing over Harry's birthday.

And then it finally began. Harry came to the conclusion that they had inevitably been drafted into, what with him being here and all! He'd wondered a few times if he'd have even crossed Sirius' mind if he hadn't been thrown into this madness with him. His room was searched, a place that made him sick to his stomach to think of too long now, but the locket was still nowhere to be found, and then Hermione had her epiphany it had once been in the house at all.

"It's not up here," Alice had called down, leaning over the banister and watching him approach but still keeping her voice at full volume so it was possible the others in the kitchen could hear. "Trust me, James checked."

Something even louder crashed, Sirius hurried his steps.

"We'll search the rest of the house though, just in case. If one of you wants to get started though, that would be great, this place is-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off as someone yelped in pain, and Sirius flew up the last few stairs in concern to see Frank rubbing the side of his head and glowering at the old clock. It too was moving its hands uselessly through time, and the results were the bolts it often shot at anybody it deemed unworthy were out of sync apparently. It spat another at nothing even as he watched, while Frank threw up a shield charm and tried to walk past again but nothing happened this time.

"Do me a favor and keep it down," he groaned at the pair. "I silenced the portraits, but I don't know how long that'll last."

"Right," they both agreed with a weary look back down to the first floor. Lily was coming up the stairs now, watching the banister uneasily like it would bite her if she took one wrong step. She wasn't wrong, there was indeed a trick step that would send you down to the basement, but he'd deactivated that on instinct again. Nobody ever came back from that place without scars.

He stepped into the drawing room to see James in a temper, rubbing furiously at his hair and cursing at nothing, but Remus was looking at the mess on the floor critically. It was obvious enough it wasn't them to have opened all those doors and then thrown this stuff around, no, Prongs would have just blown up the whole thing.

Still he asked, "why?" Some age old part of him wanted to flinch at asking that, especially in this particular room, but he just kept smiling at the two knowing they'd answer.

"It was like that when we got in here," Remus corrected. "Whole house is actually, every room we passed has been disturbed."

"I'm wondering if we'd have to go back into that cave to retrieve it again even if we did find it during this, trip," James admitted his real gripe even as he kicked that foul music box. "What if we drag that bit of Voldemort's soul back and the other one's still active."

"It's better than not knowing anything at all." Sirius encouraged. "Don't give up on us yet Prongs."

He scoffed and gave him a passing thump on the chest as he went out onto the landing, calling out, "hey Frank, got a theory for you!"

Sirius sighed in relief Prongs was still going to run around this place like crazy, he definitely needed something to keep active or he'd go spare. He wished he could join him, but he and James just inevitably made each other louder by their sheer proximity. Regulus obviously wanted some space, and he still needed to check on Moony.

Remus made to follow James, when something seized him and pulled him back into the shadows. There was a click of the door closing, and before he knew it they were back in the drawing room with Sirius all over him, pressing him right into the wall of that family tree he hated so much.

He ached terribly against himself as he engaged only long enough Sirius' hands started pushing past his clothes, and he pulled back.

Sirius seemed to have anticipated just that and didn't move back an inch. "Stop over thinking this Moony," he groaned right into his ear, causing an involuntary hot flash he tried to deny, but Sirius' hand was gently on his face trying to encourage him into a good snogging session, and his other hand was being even more obvious.

"I'm not," he tried desperately to keep his thoughts in order as Sirius started again, fingers playing around his pants.

"You're not going to hurt me," Sirius promised as he slowly moved against him. "Come on Remus, do you have any idea how much I want you, in this room?" He wasn't being subtle about that.

It took a herculean effort to pretend at anger and really push him off with a snapped, "Sirius!"

There was hurt for only a moment before anger bubbled to the surface. He teetered like that for several seconds as he just stood there watching him before saying slowly, "well, I'm listening. What's the problem?"

He was already exhausted trying to get Sirius to let it go. He couldn't even get mad and snap at him for bloody groping him and then demanding answers, sex was probably the first physical affection Sirius had ever gotten, only precluded by wrestling with Prongs. This had been Sirius' way of asking if he was okay, and he just wasn't right now. He ran his tongue over his teeth in disgust again. "I don't want to right now, so run off then!"

Sirius looked legitimately offended, and he felt even worse. "You really think that of me? First time you won't put out and I'll just split?" He bit back an 'I'm not you,' with the greatest of effort.

"I don't even know why you put up with me, ever," he groaned as he watched him with complete repentance.

Padfoot contemplated that for several moments, and it wasn't exactly instilling confidence. "You're the second person I've ever, wanted to be around," he finished with a simplistic shrug. "No offense to Prongs, but I'd need to be inhumanly drunk to kiss him, and still be laughing before, during, and after."

He snorted in surprise at the mental image.

Sirius smiled and moved back closer, brushing gently at his neck. "There he is." He looked almost as miserable as he felt now. "You've been laughing this werewolf shit off for years with us Moony, tell me what's changed? You're not going to hurt me! Don't you believe me?" He mocked.

"No," he whispered miserably but couldn't bring himself to say the rest as he studied the branches. Sirius wouldn't understand, nobody would. He'd already been hurting him, and it could get worse.

Sirius seethed for several loud heartbeats in his ear as he seemed to realize he had nothing else to say. Anger won out, Sirius finally turned back to the door with a harsh, "fine! Come talk to me when you feel like using your words!"

"Don't go," he said to his retreating form. It wasn't natural for Sirius to give anyone space, and here he was, still trying. Remus was positive if he'd been anyone else in the world right now he would have cursed him out of sheer frustration. He still didn't know what to say, what he wasn't saying himself, how to say it to make Sirius take this problem, for lack of a better word, seriously.

His best friend paused with his hand on the door. He didn't leave, tapping his boots, shifting his weight around, gripping the handle with the tendons visible even in the dark. "I'm the one who should be worried here, shouldn't I?" Sirius sighed. "You don't hear me complaining."

"Sirius, I was holding you down!" He couldn't believe Sirius was really still trying this, it made him sick as what had happened kept replaying in his head now when he even considered the offer. How Sirius had actually been trying to get away from him, and he'd bit him!

"I was five seconds away from telling you to get off, and you would have," Sirius said with the utmost confidence to the door, but ruined it slightly as he seemed to hear how he was again dismissing him and smacked his head on the door.

Padfoot's ability to overlook the worst in him might be why he'd never stop loving him, but it was becoming dangerously obvious it may well be the death of them both. Sirius had no fight or flight instinct, only fight. If it had gone any farther than exactly where they'd both broken apart, he was more sure than anything Sirius likely would have hit him on pure impulse for anyone trying to force themselves on him. No matter how much Sirius was putting the breaks on that side of him, for him and James, the instinct would never truly leave him. It was one of those things he loved and hated so much about him in equal measure.

What he would have done in the heat of that moment was a dangerous answer, but he clung to the fact that his first instinct had been disgust for the gush of copper on his tongue, that he'd run rather than continue. So long as that was true, he'd never be a proper werewolf. As he was all too aware, Moony would turn on Padfoot whenever it suited him, and Sirius still held his own so long as Prongs was there.

Chalk another one up to something he'd probably figure out far too late, would hold onto this feeling of Sirius protecting him even from himself. He was too afraid to leave him, Sirius had been his crutch for too long on how to handle the rest of the world. So long as his Padfoot kept coming back to him he'd have him forever because Sirius knew exactly what he was getting into and still, always, returned.

For a moment, Sirius seemed about to deny it again, turning slowly back to him while opening than closing his mouth quickly before making an uneasy little noise. "I guess, yeah, it only started to bother after a bit. Hell, you tied me up once and it felt bleeding wonderful!"

His heart melted. "Padfoot you idiot," he sighed, burying his face in his hands. Sirius made a very frustrated noise and actually smacked him on the shoulder, Remus looked back up with a weary smile. "There's a difference, love." He could control himself, he hadn't once tried to hurt Sirius but in fact managed the complete opposite and had a level head the entire time.

Sirius stopped scowling and really looked at him, mostly for the term of endearment he was sure, usually their nicknames were all they needed for each other, and it seemed to take him an extra few beats to realize that's not what he meant. An answer, explanation, it was the most unguarded way he knew how to say it without giving his idiot notes to study.

Padfoot opened, then closed his mouth again, and finally just said, "oh," with an actual little flush creeping up his neck like he'd finally rendered him speechless. "I- you-" he struggled for several moments, smiling softly at him now, it was vital to him to keep watching or he'd never believe it possible Sirius was not shunning him. "Okay," he finally just said in defeat before sitting down quietly.

"I'm not saying I won't ever shag you again," he sat beside him and leaned in close with a promised kiss to his cheek. "Just, not yet. I need, I don't know, some distance." He needed to find an effing solution to make sure he wouldn't ever try to hurt him again, but one thing at a time as Sirius was clearly still processing. His eyes were glazed over, his mouth slightly open, a slight blush still present on his neck, like he was actually taking an internal calculation of the difference between the two events. It was the most beautiful thing to watch.

They sat in silence like that for a while longer, the sounds of the others moving quietly through the house searching for, well anything, was unmemorable and not at all intrusive as the book started. Prongs was probably living some delirious dream just talking in the same vicinity as Lily Evans and not being told to piss off, he wouldn't be back.

It was probably a good thing they stopped, Remus consoled himself long after the fact as he put an arm around Sirius and he leaned in. The chapter was horrible. Sirius was an immobile statue by the time Kreacher explained why he was the one to leave that cave alive, and stood up like a possessed corpse himself as he whispered, "Merlin, Reg, what, why-"

He'd sacrificed himself, for an elf! A house-elf!? Their house-elf?! They would never really know the build up to that moment any more than exactly what had been told; What had led into his little brother's investigation into Horcruxes? If it had been a helpful ruse or a genuine pleasure to offer up his own beloved Kreacher in service? Or if the act of Kreacher's Tale had spurred Regulus into doing something risky for the first time in his life?

Curiosity might have literally been the death of him.

Regulus sounded strange as he read it. That sort of childlike wonderment he hadn't heard since before his time in school, the frostiness of their parents' teachings hadn't quite overtaken him yet.

"Go talk to him Sirius," Remus encouraged what Sirius so clearly wanted to do.

"I don't know what to say," Sirius admitted miserably.

"Maybe you don't have to say anything," Remus answered sweetly, standing up slowly like he was a startled colt ready to flee, but when he still remained frozen in place, started brushing at his hair. "Just, see what he needs. You're the best at that."

He'd known full well what he was doing when he left. There, in the dark, his history around him, with Remus on one side and James firmly on the other, he knew what he'd long since had to accept as he whispered, "I, I don't think he needs me anymore."

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I swear I had in my original notes for Regulus to be in his room during the majority of this chapter rather than the kitchen, but sometimes the story overtakes the skeleton it was meant for.