Regulus crashed headfirst into a toilet with a knitted cover on the lid to soften the blow. He still cursed and grumbled for it while looking around and found the rest of the décor matching. A knitted stuffed cat on the sink by the soap and a box of crystalized pineapple, unopened. There was a walk in shower, as well as a pile of knitting pattern magazines for reading leisure in a wicker basket he'd knocked over along with the book, its silver spine standing out in here.

Not exactly tempted to sit on the toilet to read, he exited into the hall to find pictures on the wall that weren't alluding to an easy hint of where they were, an array of kids of various ages in frames down to the stairs. He stopped to admire them for a moment, taking a second to realize he could only know they weren't wizards because they weren't moving, but otherwise there was no clear difference. How fascinating, Mother always spoke as if there should be something. He no longer tried to convince himself he just wasn't seeing it, but maybe there just wasn't anything inherently 'different' about them either, aside from the lack of magic.

The entire house was still silent though, not a stair creaked as he went down into the dimly lit living room where a scene of total devastation met his eyes. The others were frozen in place, as if afraid to move once more and find something they shouldn't. Surely their landing hadn't caused this destruction, and his pulse quickened with worry.

The door was blasted off its hinges, a grandfather clock lay splintered at their feet, its face cracked, its pendulum lying a little farther away like a dropped sword pointing right at where Evans was still on hands and knees. A piano was on its side, its keys strewn across the floor, Peter tangled up in the wires. The wreckage of a fallen chandelier glittered nearby, Longbottom and Smith still had bits of it in their hair and clothes. Cushions lay deflated, feathers oozing from slashes in their sides, the Marauders weren't even at fault judging from the stark white faces; fragments of glass and china lay like powder over everything, and there were even chunks and gashes in the walls. Regulus immediately lit his wand and raised it high, giving illumination to something darkly red and glutinous spattered over the flowered wallpaper.

When Peter saw him at the foot of the stairs, the streetlights outside glinting off the bright cover of the book even before he'd lit his wand, and completely unharmed he couldn't help a relieved sigh. He'd done a quick count as always and hysterically wonderd for a moment if Regulus had just been blasted to smithereens from this recent slam. Instead, as he hovered on the last stair with the book in hand and a white face, he quietly whispered as calmly as he could, "start getting us out of here please?"

He swallowed convulsively, eyes still flinching to every corner looking for something none of them wanted to see again, but finally opened and read the chapter title that illuminated some horrible answer to this.

"What the hell has he been up to in this future?" Potter quietly demanded, getting slowly but steadily to his feet. Nothing attacked him like Moody's place, so the others cautiously began doing the same, but nobody wanted to answer him.

Dumbledore and Harry had no idea what they were fixing to walk into with their pleasant little evening stroll, destination this place. He even read right over the passage on Inferi like that was nothing in the face of this. They all felt beside themselves Harry was fixing to just be brutally reminded of the casualties of war even with the headmaster there for him this time.

So when the ruse was revealed, nobody could quite blame Potter shouting at the top of his lungs, "that arse!"

Regulus was so disgruntled at his near heart failure being a trick himself he gave the book an ugly toss into the mess and heavily contemplated for a moment jabbing his own wand into every available bit of furniture just to be safe. Still muttering some of Kreacher's favorite foul tongues, he went over to the piano and began helping disentangle Peter.

The others all went to scatter away in frustration from here, Alice and Longbottom heading towards the kitchen, Sirius and Lupin going up the stairs, but the other four stayed uneasily in the mess, an answer still more tempting to them even if they would have given their potions teacher a good whack upside the head for it.

Evans finally went for the book again with a look of distaste like she used to give Potter all the time. He still watched her avidly for a few moments before an odd look passed his face and he went jogging up the stairs. Regulus's stomach was still twisted into a painful knot of unease for this abrupt turn around of their environment being all a farce and glared at his retreating feet. At least Sirius was making an effort, he wouldn't be surprised though if Potter went up there and encouraged Sirius to stay the hell away from both of them at this rate.

Peter watched too in fascination as that was the first time in his life he'd ever seen Prongs purposely turn away from her when he had no good reason to. He was tempted to follow and ask, but still he hesitated.

Sirius had offered him a bridge, back there in Malfoy's room, but it wasn't just Sirius' continued attitude that was putting him off trying to coexist with the other three. Remus and James had never been so vivid in their reaction to him, but he still felt it sometimes. Like the chunks missing from the wall. The place still stood around them, but even when it was fixed as it was in the book, he doubted he could ever get the image from his mind again of how that betrayal felt he'd never want to cause. It still felt safer then to never let it go that far at all. He still wanted to try and be friends, just maybe not best friends anymore. Like Neville he supposed, he could stay on the fringes and still be on good terms with them, right?

Instead, he turned to Regulus and gave an explanation he knew was owed, now that there was no chance of a dead body being around. "Sirius is worried about you, by the way. In case you were wondering."

Regulus looked startled at the abrupt change of topic, but then smiled in a way Peter so rarely saw as he glanced at the stairs.

"He was apologizing, for back in the Forest, said he was sorry for getting in the middle when he knows he hasn't been helping before that. Well, in his own way," Peter finished with an awkward laugh. "It's pretty funny to watch someone roll their eyes when they're closed." He tacked on for levity.

Regulus just watched steadily for the rest, that didn't feel like something Sirius wouldn't say in front of him.

"Okay yeah," Peter relented, "he also tried to ask what we were talking about, but I wasn't telling him what you told me. Not unless you want me to."

"Thanks," Regulus whispered in surprise, though he didn't know why he was, he knew Peter was good at keeping secrets. It wasn't even really a secret he was so afraid of this future, but nobody had ever given him the option before to decide who knew what about him.

He was tempted to go find Sirius now and talk to him, but Peter told him quietly, "maybe give Sirius a moment? You probably don't want to bother them messing around here."

Regulus didn't quite get the odd tone but believed him. He'd waited this long, he could wait a bit longer to try talking to his brother, they had plenty of time left and he was still plenty curious to pay attention to this.

Remus shivered in distaste for the room he wandered into, despite its clear opulence. The silk sheets and plump pillows spoke of a well rested bed, but he quickly bypassed that for the window despite the fact he could feel well enough there was no full moon, but the mist clung to these very streets as well. He made nonsense patterns in the dew and thought hard about how he could get around his stupid promise to Sirius about telling James and yet knew full well all secrets had a way of coming out eventually, Slughorn hadn't been able to avoid Dumbledore for long- Then someone grabbed him from behind.

"Stop screaming you idiot, it's still me."*

"Sirius, I rarely find that less of a reason to scream," Remus tried to laugh, but Sirius didn't seem in the talkative sort of mood as his hands dropped to his waist. "Are you insane?" He giggled even as he flicked his wand and the door locked. Not permanently, obviously, but it would give them some warning. "This isn't just a bit weird?" He still half expected Slughorn to pop up any moment after that heart attack moment, he'd never look at furniture around that man the same way again.

"It's on my bucket list to do this in a teacher's office," Sirius breathed into his ear. "This is the next best thing. Not up for it?" He pressed his lips down hard on Remus's throat and moaned when he felt Remus swallow convulsively.

'Ask you idiot, now, before this goes any further,' he tried keeping a straight head even as he let himself be pulled towards the bed, shamelessly helping Sirius out of his clothes with every step. "This um, list of yours-" he was panting already, what the hell did it matter again what this meant to Sirius so long as he kept doing that with his lips? "What, um, I mean who," he'd already forgotten his question anyways as Sirius sunk onto the bed and grinned up at him.

"Relax Moony, I'll give you a break when we get back, I wouldn't peg you for wanting to do half the shit I get up to anyways," he laughed as he coaxed Remus on top of him.

He'd only been half listening as he eagerly straddled him, nipping at his neck and jaw while palming him through the last of his clothes, but froze suddenly as what he said really sunk in, and a flair of possessiveness caused his hand to constrict.

Sirius gasped eagerly, but Remus' voice came out more clipped than he'd ever believe while holding Sirius like this, "what does that mean?"

Padfoot didn't seem to hear the warning, that wild, addicting laugh inches from his lips, his legs nudging him into a rocking motion as he teased, "I'll let you see the rest later. You really want to talk about this, now?" His breath was whiney and nearly pleading by the end as Remus hadn't yet moved again.

'Yes,' he knew he should have said. "Nope," he whispered, eagerly succumbing.*

It was far enough back on his neck even Sirius had to twist in the mirror to see it right. Nobody should be able to do the same, his hair covered it well. Sirius checked himself one last time as he smoothed the long black locks back perfectly to hide the mark, deciding he only looked as rumpled as everyone else for this near constant ricochet through reality before finally exiting the bathroom, prize now in his bag. Who kept sweets in their bathroom besides this lunatic? Remus probably would if he got his own house...He licked his lips longingly as he looked back towards Slughorn's room, but knew better than to go back, telling himself he'd risked enough for now. Moony needed a break and would understand if he just didn't come back, maybe he really did just want an alone moment Sirius wasn't giving him.

He'd pretty effectively blocked out Evans's voice as Slughorn already tried reminiscing to Harry about his old position, but the only thing he cared about for this anyways was that Snape should now be gone. He certainly hoped so, it was the only plausible reason he'd allow for this old walrus being back in school, none of the Marauders particularly liked him, so it wasn't at all surprising when he found Prongs behind a secret wall and rummaging through several jars of potions unabashedly, a golden vial flashing about, a strong smell of chocolate lingering in the air as he uncorked something and then quickly put it back.

"Moony okay?" He asked without looking away, he clearly wasn't that concerned with the small yelp of fright he'd caused Remus before muffling the door. "Heard something, what were you guys doing down there? Found this shit though-"

Sirius grinned in delight as he leaned against the wall to see him holding a glass flask full of a thick, mud like substance up curiously with a look Sirius was already on board with. "Fancy a swig Prongs?"

"Yeah, actually," he grinned remorselessly as he pulled the stopper out. "Care for a wager Padfoot?"

"Whoever gets caught first owes the other a galleon," Sirius instantly agreed.

Everybody would surely enjoy the laugh once they realized what the two had pulled, and this was a harmless spot of fun! Sirius grabbed up two dusty but waiting glasses and blew on them impatiently as James pulled out the cork and let the disgusting semi-liquid squelch out a shot into each.

James pocketed the rest and casually plucked a few hairs from his head and dropped it in. It looked almost as if it was pulsing in the cup, the thick maroon concoction was quivering along the edges just waiting for something to happen. He reached a finger out and traced along the edge with an amused smile, he was tempted to drink it himself no matter the uselessness of the action. He glanced curiously at Sirius to see him hesitating though and snorted in amusement as he was running his hand vainly through his hair. "Not going to make me drink your toenails are you prat?"

Sirius was quite tempted to spit into his just to lord that over him, he knew James would still drink it anyways, but ah, do to recent activities, he wasn't sure how much of it would be his own. So glaring at the arse, he delicately plucked at one precious lock, and winced with little pain as it came loose but watched eagerly as he dropped it down.

It was the brightest of scarlets, like if the sun had struck a ruby just right and dumped the color into his cup. He swirled it about like a fine wine and pursed his lips to stop the urge from licking it, but finally swapping cups and grinning like the loons they were as they tossed them back.

The two gasped in unison for how unpleasant the whole thing felt, but thankfully it was over quickly enough. They were shaking their heads though, still unintentionally mimicking each other as they held their new hands in front of their faces.

"Glory Prongs, it's a good thing you haven't lost your glasses. You'd be even more useless without them." It was so weird to hear his own voice, the deer nickname coming from his throat. James decided he didn't really like it as he figured out why the world was blurry and painful to focus on, removing them and passing them wordlessly along. His nose felt weirdly light and bare despite the fact Sirius' should feel no such thing.

Finally though he could properly see, himself. He briefly wondered for a moment if this could be sort of like looking at his son later, before quickly reminding himself like he had downstairs to knock off those kinds of thoughts now.

The two wordlessly exchanged clothes and kept uncomfortably flexing their shoulders and stretching, but by the time they were done it felt almost bearable.

"Don't know how that Crouch Jr. freak managed this for a year," James grumbled, still disturbed to not hear his voice come out and be staring at himself. "This is weird."

"Well thankfully the effects aren't permanent," Sirius sniffed, scratching oddly at his bare neck. "May the best man win!"

"I intend to," he said at once, fighting back the urge to pull Sirius' hair into a ponytail, it was heavier than he'd expected and he felt flush. Though after running his fingers uncomfortably through it for a moment he admitted to himself he had no idea how and he'd probably just hurt himself and either cause Sirius to piss himself with laughter or threaten bodily harm, either was likely.

The book had still been going, and Sirius grinned eagerly as he made his way towards the living room, at least that was a familiar expression on his own face. He obviously thought he could last longest around Evans, and he was probably right, he'd just have to stand there looking at her, the git. There was no fun in that though, and while Sirius was probably more concerned with winning and bragging rights, James wanted a challenge, so he went off in the direction he'd seen Remus go.

He found him quickly enough in Slughorn's room of all places and tried not to look too pleased he found him fidgeting with his shirt and a contemplative look on his face. The bed was all kinds of messed up like he'd been jumping on it for some reason. He had to remind himself not to try and falsify his voice when Remus glanced up. "What's on your mind Moony?"

"My treat," he sniffed. "Where's that pineapple you promised, I'm withholding round two until then."

James silently cursed himself and instantly regretted this, clearly he had missed a conversation between them and had no idea what they'd been up to. Still, he was nothing if not adaptable, and stepped forward to try and sooth out, "you'll get that crystal pineapple when I get mine."

At first he'd thought it might have worked, Remus got a smirk in place that always meant he was up to something, but then he whispered, "is that a challenge?" His hand moved to rest on the inside of James' thigh.

He jumped back like he'd been electrocuted again, accompanied by a high-pitched yelp that he would deny upon death he could ever make. He heard distantly something dropped in surprise in another room, his nose scrunched up in involuntary disgust as he watched Remus in concern. "The hell mate?"

"What-" he looked as confused as James felt now, but then he scrutinized him for several long seconds and demanded, "James?" His own face puckered with some anger and grotesque now.

"Yeah?" It took a moment for him to remember why his voice still sounded odd, and it wasn't all shock. He'd honestly forgotten he was in Sirius' body there for a moment. "How'd you know it was me?" He was only minorly distracted as he realized he lost and still watched his hand wearily, though it had fallen back into his lap.

"Because Sirius has never in his life done that," Remus said stiffly, and James froze in surprise as Moony's eyes flickered up to his own hand, which had been unintentionally ruffling up his hair with nerves. He cleared his throat awkwardly and smoothed his hand down the long main instead, but he knew the gig was up.

"Right," he muttered, far more concerned than anything still and not trying to play it off. "Found some Polyjuice Potions in Slughorn's stores, thought we'd have some fun, sure you didn't find anything you shouldn't have drunk? Like Essence of Insanity?"

Shock quickly collapsed down on Remus, he surged to his feet with a look of pure terror. "Oh shit, James? Um, look, we, I mean I, he was going to-" his eyes began darting to the door and back to him and changed to cussing fluently and backing away from him nearly to the wall.

"Hey, Remus, relax," James quickly soothed, taking a step towards him without even thinking. "I'm not angry, alright, breathe mate. Just, what the hell?"

Remus took several shaky breaths and still wouldn't even look at him, and James was starting to feel really bad. In his defense, that had come out of bloody nowhere, but Remus obviously hadn't done it on purpose, right? Maybe he'd been trying to grab at Sirius as a weird joke or whatever, hell is that what they kept whispering about, had Padfoot figured it out? They'd made weirder werewolf jokes to each other if so. He didn't at all want Remus to think he'd care if the guy was gay, he half suspected it sometimes as he showed such little interest in the girls back at school.

"Everything okay in here?"

The two jumped and turned around to see Evans of all people standing in the doorway, a look of genuine concern on her face as she watched the two. "There's been shouting." She clarified when the silence persisted.

"Um, yeah," he thought he grinned believably enough. He now had to fight off the compulsion with more effort than ever not to rumple up his hair in delight at the mere sight of her and was almost grateful for Moony catching him at that.

She still hovered, and both suddenly realized the book had been silent for quite some time, but there was still some kind of raised voice they'd been blocking out, and maybe it wasn't 'Sirius' shouting she'd meant. "Might want to check on your mate," she finally said, and confirmed as she shrugged and walked back off.

The two exchanged a very concerned look, what the hell had Sirius gotten himself up to? James went after her at once, beckoning to Remus without a second thought and filing this away for later. Moony thankfully followed without hesitation, even if he was a few paces behind than was natural.

She'd only got about halfway through the chapter and was feeling quite dispirited their teacher was on the run from Death Eater's in this Muggle neighborhood, but at least he'd agreed to come back. Dumbledore had been stepping into the broom shed back at the Burrow when Potter came in. There was an odd air about him, he kept scratching at the back of his neck and rotating his shoulders as he went and sat on the floor watching her with a stupider look than usual on his face.

Regulus and Pettigrew had been having some quiet kind of conversation about this new development and all it entailed for Hogwarts staffing. It didn't seem Potter was going to participate, until Pettigrew turned to him and asked, "What do you say Prongs, would you swap Vector out for anyone or take our chances?"

"Um," Sirius stuttered for only a moment. Damn, he hadn't taken Arithmancy with those three idiots, but he'd heard them complain enough over the years he could get along. "Guess we'll keep her around and avoid her, we've enough practice."

Regulus gave him a rather testy look he couldn't begin to guess at, he really didn't know his brother at all anymore.

One bridge at a time, he amended in his head. He still wasn't even clear on Regulus' loyalties. He was asking questions now and clearly trying to loosen up, but still defending the house-elf that got him killed and he still could not separate from their parents no matter what Regulus tried to say.

Peter kept going in an off-hand kind of way of forced casualness still, "look, I'm sure you're curious what Sirius was saying-"

"Not really," Sirius grinned.

Peter looked floored and a little hurt, so Sirius quickly gave himself a mental kick and redirected, "it's between you two." He stopped there and bit his tongue, he wasn't going to speak for Prongs and say everything was all good. James had been the one to convince him to even start at forgiving Peter, but he wasn't going to assume that meant he was all good either.

"He listens to you though," Peter tried to keep going, "and I was just hoping you could tell him-"

'Oh crap,' Sirius tried right then to give it up, he was not going to let Peter think he was talking to James and cause another fight later for this stupid prank! "Hey Wormtail-" Peter was already looking so annoyed, how had this gone so wrong so fast?

"Would you let me finish real quick-"

"No, really mate, I'm not-"

Regulus snapped.

He admired Peter was trying to keep going now around the obnoxious bloke still not taking a hint, but he couldn't just sit here and watch this anymore. "Can you not let him finish one bloody sentence without your opinion! I am so sick of you thinking you know what's best for everyone around here, no one elected you leader!"

He did not hear the thunk of something being dropped in the kitchen, nor realize Evans had lowered the book and was looking at them wearily before getting up, probably to finish reading in another room, though he doubted he'd take in a word of it now.

Peter felt too floored to notice any of it either, fighting down the urge to get between Regulus and James any second, but James didn't go for his wand. He didn't even seem upset or angry. Instead, there was some mingled look of pity, almost regret on his face which didn't at all track with the way he kept side-eying Regulus lately.

Sirius watched, half in fascination half in guilt as he let Regulus tear into Prongs, wincing for each blow his little brother dealt and glad to be taking this for James regardless.

"Ever since Sirius came home that first bloody summer all he's talked about is your bloody opinion on everything and I'm sick of hearing it!"

Sirius was starting to get annoyed by that point, he wasn't some mindless yup like his little brother and let Prongs speak for him, but he forced himself to hold his tongue and let Regulus get it all out now, he didn't even notice the other three coming back down the stairs.

James sure as hell wasn't going to allow the same when he took the scene in. He wasn't going to let Sirius' new passive approach to the two of them allow them to dog ear his best mate like that, and he immediately shoved Regulus. "Back off you bastard, now!"

Regulus looked stricken for just a moment before his face settled back into that cool mask of indifference the Black's carried so well. Sirius felt a pang in his heart the kid managed that at his age, his little brother even twitched for his wand, but Sirius forced his way between the two, snatching the vial out of James's pocket before this could escalate.

"Listen, we swapped bodies, okay! James and I, we found some Polyjuice Potion, we thought it would be fun! Merlin, how long you been holding that in Reg?" He still didn't really regret it when Regulus gave the both of them a look of deepest loathing and stormed up the stairs, slamming something up there. He didn't want to know what Prongs really would have said to him if he'd been down here this whole time.

Evans gave them a scathing look as well and turned quickly away to finish, muttering about their idiocies and stupid pranks again. Even Moony wouldn't meet his eye and Longbottom and Alice were watching from the kitchen with slightly open mouths like they still couldn't believe the stupidity they got themselves into.

Only Peter was left actually looking at them, and he was biting his lip to hold back a smile. Little shit. Whether he actually found the whole thing funny or was laughing at them neither could really be sure, and that was as irksome as Regulus' reaction.

The two gave each other exasperated looks, Sirius finally saying, "think we should hold off trying to get the others to laugh for now Prongs?"

"Guess there's no point in a prank if no one's going to laugh, not even us," he huffed in agreement, still eyeing the stairs with great dislike Sirius was far too used to seeing on his own face regarding his brother, but for the first time realizing James hadn't just been defending him, or himself, whichever. There was something else in what had just happened.

Evans watched them for a few more moments before saying with a guilty look upstairs the chapter was done and finishing good as her word.

HPHPHPH

You didn't really think I could go the whole book without some sibling drama did you? I wouldn't know what to do with myself at this rate!

* If you would like to read this conversation from Sirius' POV, it's in Moon and Stars, as well as the continued Wolfstar sexcapades clearly marked and easily avoidable if you'd like to read just the scene swap without the other content.