It was evening. The school was about to close in an hour and I still had some cleaning left to do. Hey guys. As you can see, your beloved Kate is currently cleaning toilets, while wondering if our school bathroom always so big. And the weird thing is that the more I clean it, the more dirty it looks! If only I had someone who'd help me clean.

All this because of one person who did that cat prank with me! This isn't even funny. If I find that guy, I'll chop his body into thousands of pieces! If this keeps up, I'm gonna die. I'm imagining my dead body laying on the school bathroom floor. Oh God, it's hilarious! What the fuck is wrong with me!?

Do you guys ever had that moment when your talk to yourself and start smiling like an idiot because you're just so hilarious? I was cooking some good jokes in my head and giggling while sweeping the floor. You could imagine that I would be looking like such a creep to some other person.

BRUSH BRUSH CLEAN CLEAN WIPE IT DOWN! I danced with the mop on that beauty and the beast theme while humming the song. I've loved that song and that movie—Wondering if I'd meet my beauty someday and she'd transform me too. I was so engrossed in dancing, I forgot it was just a fucking mop. I stepped on it and fell. God dammit!

Suddenly the lights went out! Okay, now this was the situation: The entire school was empty and quiet and the bathroom was dark and wet. I remembered all the horror movies I ever watched. They had a similar scene before someone was killed.

NAH! That's not possible! In that movie a zombie came out with a chainsaw and killed everyone who was there in that ship and then started drinking their blood. No way such a thing would happen in the school—

VROOM!

Did I just hear a fucking chainsaw? OH DANG I'M DOOMED! Wait—What is a chainsaw doing at school? I drew a cross on my chest as I slowly moved out of the bathroom; Yes, I was as Christian as Jaden now. "Dear father, son and HOLY SHIT—" A guy with a chainsaw in his hand suddenly came in front of me.

"AAHH!" I shrieked.
"AAHH!" He did the same.

Together, we both shouted till the time our lungs gave out like two rock singers producing a harmony of noise with the chainsaw giving the background music. Then, my body moved on its own accord and I smacked the wiper on his head.

Hey! It was a reflex! Yes, smacking a potential zombie on its head is a survival reflex. THERE ARE NO RULES TO SURVIVAL!

The guy fainted and fell on the floor. Soon the lights were back and I looked at his face.

"MR WARREN?!" I shouted as every corner of my body twitched and my goosebumps were as straight as an arrow. Why was he carrying a chainsaw through the school hallway anyways?! I couldn't afford extension of punishments. Don't tell me my bathroom cleaning time was gonna extend to one week, one month or maybe one year?!

Imagine graduating high school with a mop in your hand. Yeah, doesn't seem to portray a very promising future. WHAT THE FUCK—HEY! STOP IT BRAIN! Back to the more important stuff, Mr Warren wasn't moving at all. Was he even alive anymore?

AND WHAT THE HELL WAS A TEACHER DOING WITH A CHAINSAW IN THE SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE?! WAIT! IS THAT A PIZZA SLICE PLASTERED ON HIS SHIRT? This is getting mysterious. I feel like Sherlock Holmes, the victim and the criminal. Is that even possible? Wait—

HIDE THE BODY! BUT WHERE? THE SHED? YOU FOOL! THAT'S TOO DANGEROUS! SHOULD I THROW IT INSIDE THE WATER TANK? NAH! THAT WOULD JUST MAKE THE WATER GROSS! MAYBE I CAN DIG A DITCH IN THE GARDEN AND—NO, NO, THAT'S ALWAYS FOUND BY DOGS OR CANNIBALS. LET ME JUST! FLUSH HIM! DOWN THE TOILET!

I grabbed his arms and dragged him on the floor, inside the bathroom. Why are humans so heavy? God made us heavy to ensure that people like me have to suffer while dumping their bodies. See what all I have to do just because someone played a prank on me. UGH! I slipped on the wet floor and fell. He fell on me. Oh GOD! At this rate, I won't surprised if I die too.

What the fuck am I doing?
Suddenly, I saw someone stand at the bathroom door and look at us. It was Harrison! He dropped his juice can,
"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked.
A teacher was laying on me and we were both on the bathroom floor. He seemed disgusted, "I thought it was just Mr Dickson," 
"I—"

"Harrison!" Jerome Weaste stood beside him, "What the fuck did you feed me? My stomach is shitted!" He could barely stand.
"You ate that expired jello yourself,"
"I beg to differ. YOU SAID IT WAS OKAY TO EAT IT!" Then, he looked at me, "WOW! What's that? That's not creepy at all," Jerome pointing at Mr Warren's body.
"That just happened in the spur of the moment!" I said.
"You can fuck in the spur of the moment?" Harrison asked.

"Whatever! You both fuck somewhere else. I need to take a shit and I can't do that knowing that two people are humping outside," Jerome said.
"You won't just shit then," Harrison looked at him.
"WE ARE NOT FUCKING!" I cleared that misunderstanding.

"THE BATHROOM!" Jerome shouted.
"I'm cleaning this one. Use the one on the second floor,"
Jerome sucked his cheeks in, "Bro, my condition isn't that good! Try to understand, I have to keep my hands on my ass in order to stand."
"First, help me pick him up!" Mr Warren was growing heavier or maybe I was growing tired of that sack of heaviness on me!

"Oh, he has fainted" Harrison looked at him, "You fucked already?"  He asked me.
"NO! WHAT KINDA PORN ARE YOU WATCHING?! PLUS, WE'RE BOTH MEN!"
"...I should stop reading yaoi manga..." He pressed his temples.
"Tell me when can I shit?!" Jerome asked. He had his own third world problems.

"GUYS!" I groaned. Harrison picked him up like a sack of shit and threw him aside. I got up and cleaned myself. "Thanks Harrison," He is really the savior of my life. First he arranged clothes for me when I was dripping wet and cold, now he's gonna take care the dead body too? I WANNA MARRY HIM!

No, I'm just kidding guys, chill out!

"You can just call me Harry,"
"Okay," WE ARE COMING CLOSE!
"This is so satisfying." Harry smirked, "Now, I can get back to my normal stressed routine knowing someone else is having a worse day," What the fuck?
"Boy, you did not just say that," I said. Harry kept his bag aside and removed his shoe.

"By the way, what are you doing at school at this time?" I asked.
"I was on a detention," Can't believe Harry got a detention!
"For what?" I was curious.
"I fed expired jello to half of the class,"

"Oh come on! How bad could that be?"
"GUYS! DO IT QUICK!" Jerome stood by the wall, crossing his legs and holding his butt. Yes, it can be pretty bad. 
"Why only he is here?"
"Rest others went to the bathroom upstairs," He said "Mrs Fig gave me a detention while sitting in the lady's bathroom."
I was speechless.

Wow. And I thought I was weird.

"Are you and Brandon friends?"
"Childhood friends," Harry brought his shoe near Mr Warren's face.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"This is a way by which you can bring people back to their consciousness," Harry told me. 

"No, he has not fainted because of any concussion. I actually smacked his head with the wiper's rod, that's why he fainted." I said.
Harry's eyes widened and he said "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A TEACHER?"

"THAT WAS REFLEX!" I said.
"Beating up a teacher? There's something definitely wrong with your nervous system" Harry said.
"Well sorry that he ran at me with a chainsaw,"
"He still has a pulse" Harry said holding Mr Warren's hand "What did you say—A chainsaw?"
"YEAH! I WAS SHOCKED TOO! WHY A CHAINSAW ANYWAY?!"
Cold sweat dropped from Harry's neck. Maybe he was having Vietnam flashbacks?

"What happened?" I asked.
"Nothing, let's carry him to the nurse's office," Harry picked up the body.
"UGH! HE'S HEAVY! HEY, DON'T JUST STAND THERE, HELP US!" Harry shouted at Jerome.
"Trust me, I would if I could," Jerome clenched his eyes. We both looked at him, "Is he trying to shit or hold it in?" I asked.

"UGH! I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANYMORE!"
"Man, I dunno. Looks like a pretty gay expression to me." Harry said.
"YOU GUYS STOP JUDGING ME!"
"He's useless," Harry looked at me. It was just him and I. We both somehow dragged Mr Warren near the bathroom's door. Jerome ran inside the bathroom stall. The door was trapped with all the toiletries. He wanted to pick them up to close the door but he couldn't bend. He went to another stall.

"KATE ROBERTS! ARE YOU DONE?!" I heard a voice behind me. And unfortunately, I knew who it was! MR DICKSON! 

-To be continued