Alexis

"Can't you just hand me the notes later?" I beg Liam.

"Alexis, sit and take the notes yourself."

"I don't want to be here," I feel squirmy and I think there might be a pebble inside my shoe because something is poking my feet. Or maybe it's just Satan poking the entrances of hell for breaking a perfectly good heart.

Two. Two hearts.

"Well then you shouldn't have broken up with him," Liam says curtly.

I hang my head low and continue turning on my laptop. I hate not telling Liam why I had to end things with Aaron but more than that, I hate that Liam thinks I am some stupid airhead who only wanted Aaron to prove some point. I mean, I know he doesn't really think like that and he's just mad at me for ruining a perfectly good relationship, but I don't know how to tell him.

I already wish I hadn't told Ellie and Hunter because all they do is look at me like twelve of my cats all died at once and I might just start doing necromancy to bring them back to life any second now. I am grateful for their concern, but it just gets a little too heavy sometimes. I don't constantly want to be reminded of how I lost the best thing that was happening to me because of my evil father. Geez, Disney, hire me.

"Liam, I feel equally terrible about it, even more so," I sigh.

Liam opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it again, then turns towards me and I sit straighter for the verbal blow he is about to unleash, "Tell me something Alexis, if you didn't want it to end, and if you love him so much, why did you do it? What went on through your head, what is going on through your head right now?!"

The words are at the back of my throat and I almost choke on it trying to tell him. An image of Ellie holding me while I am on the floor crying swims up behind my eyelids and I gold myself. Anger is better than pity and the constant 'you should tell Aaron'.

I steel my expression and get up and leave for two rows in front of me. The class is about to begin and there are no empty seats besides two near the wall. Not surprisingly, Liam doesn't call out my name or tell the red-haired girl that she can't sit over there because the seat is occupied. Guess he really is very mad.

I drop my bag and laptop on the table with a thump and lay my head down, wrapping it with my arms. For minutes I hear the slow chatter and the buzz that accompanies the calm before the class starts. Someone in front of me is telling how he has diarrhoea. Yes today Satan, of course why not, at this point I might just smell farts so I don't have to cry.

God I want to cry so bad. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and take a deep breath. Aaron's eyes pop up in my vision and and I release a shaky breath. Here's hoping my mascara is waterproof today because I feel a tear drop pool around my eyes. I cant do this, I cant sit here right now and not talk to him. I miss him, I miss him so much it's slowly starting to ache. It hurts everywhere and I want, I want-

I don't know what I want, all I know is that I miss him and I need him around me and every fibre of my being hurts from being so far away from him; it's like we're intertwined in a way and being away from him is tugging at the strings and everything is going to snap and fall apart right this second.

"Class is about to start, stop sleeping."

I jerk up at the voice and stifle a gasp, "A-Aaron?"

His eyes are very green, "Class is about to start," He softens his harsh tone a bit, and then with a bobbing throat says, "There's um...were you crying?"

"What are you doing here?" I ask in disbelief. This has to be a joke from the Universe.

"This was the only seat left and we need to talk. Why were you crying?"

"We need to talk?"

He looks at me for two seconds before painfully tearing away his face towards the front of the classroom, the same moment Professor Black enters the class. A veil of silence falls over the class as everyone slides their phones inside and stops the chatter.

Aaron leans towards me and there's a shiver down my spine. "What really happened, Le-Alexis?"

I take a deep breath and notice that my hands are curled against the desk so tightly, the knuckles are turning white. The air smells of Aaron's orange and soap scent and my stomach drops at that. The realisation that I was slowly forgetting what he smells like smacks me in the face and I almost double over. God I can't do this. I cant sit here with him so close to me and our shoulders just an inch apart and pretend everything is okay.

Aaron snorts, "You look like you've seen a ghost. What's wrong, Lexie?"

The butterflies in my stomach turn to dust at his tone. I whip my head towards him and watching his face is like being gutted slowly. This was all a joke to him, there's a smirk on his face.

"I need to go," I say shakily.

"Go where Alexis? On your way to tell some more lies? What happened Lexie?" He clutches my hand in his and it's so warm and so familiar I want to cry.

"I- I don't know what you are talking about," My heart is pounding in my chest and God he looks so good and it feels like there's a huge fucking ball stomping on my heart and it actually hurts and I am afraid I am going to pass out right this second.

"Oh yeah? Is that why you look fucking blanched right now? Because you have no idea what I am talking about," His mouth is set in a grim line and there's an iciness I have never seen in his eyes and they're freezing up my veins.

"Aaron," I steel my voice and check if Professor Black is watching us right now. Thankfully she's filing some papers, "I have no idea what you're talking about and please leave me alone."

Don't leave me alone. Please don't leave me alone. Nothing feels right without you and I didn't realise how right it was until I fucked up. Please don't leave.

"I am not leaving you alone. Not until you tell me why you fucking lied to my face and said you're not interested in me anymore. I need to know why, I deserve to know why."

"Alright class, here are the results from the retest " Professor interrupts and at the same time I notice his lip is split towards the side.

"What happened to your mouth?"

"Nothing. Answer the question."

"Aaron are you okay?" Alarm bells are ringing in my head and I know something's not right. He looks tormented, but his eyes are the same angry cold and he looks at me as if he can turn me to ashes right this second.

I wish he would.

He looks exasperated, the green in his eyes thawing the ice and blazing, "Do I look okay to you? You broke my fucking heart and you wont even tell me why? What did I do Alexis? Where did I go wrong? What did I do so fucking wrong that you cant even bear to look at me?" He grabs my arms and yanks it discreetly, "Look at me and tell me you're not interested in me."

I look at him and it's a whole goddamn dam overflowing inside me and I don't know how much longer I can hold it in. My hands are shaking and his touch feels so familiar and yet so distant at the same time and it's the fiercest fight of my life not spilling my guts out right there at him.

But I can't do any of it so I slowly pull my hand away from his grip and for one second, do not make the fucking mistake of looking in his eyes because I am not going to survive a certain pair of green eyes. I am not sure if I ever did.

I shakily raise my hand, and through the corner of my vision spot Aaron looking at me quizzically like I have lost some goddamned piece of my brain and I am sure I have lost my whole fucking mind, "Excuse me Professor, I am not feeling well, so can I leave?"

She smiles at me worriedly and nods her head and I almost lie down with relief, "Oh but Alexis, before you go, take your paper. You did well, got an A-, good job. "

Aaron chuckles beside me and I see that the icy green is back. It's going to haunt me in the afterlife, "So you got everything you wanted, but you left me with a stupid broken heart."

"What happened to you?" I cry out. 

All of it feels so wrong, this is not the Aaron I fell in love with, he doesn't look at me like it's the last thing he ever wanted to see but he also is trying very hard to not touch me right now. All of it feels stupid and wrong and I just want to get out so I can puke this day out of my system.

"You," He smiles at me and it's not his sunshine smile. It's the saddest fucking smile in the world and I wonder if the whole class can hear my heart crack in two, "you happened to me Lexie."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I am so sorry for not uploading last week, because i simple couldnt write. I was not in a writing headspace and i am sorry i couldnt deliver. Some of you messaged me asking for updates and you have no idea how happy that makes me. I could literally cry i cant believe all of you love this book so much you're still here and reading it and none of it could be possible without you. 

On that note, please leave a small comment telling me if the story is getting boring or if there's a matter you'd like me to improve and please don't forget to vote and follow me on instagram for little sneakpeeks.