A/N: I added a song which I feel like goes so well with the chapter! I'm excited about this one so please let me know how you feel <3

Alexis

"I can't believe you played the rich girl card."

"It was not for you, it was for charity," I wrap my arms around Aaron's middle and give him a squeeze hard enough to get him to yelp.

"The charity it helped the most is you, mi amor," Aaron makes a kissy face and slug his face away.

"You're not that important."

"Yet you paid 200 dollars for me."

"Look it's a win-win situation," I hastily move a strand of air from my face, "I get you and people get the help they need."

"You're possessive," Aaron mutters.

"I am not letting Jade have you."

"I wasn't even talking about her, besides I am not interested in her," He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Not your type?" I ask as innocently as possible.

"Yes, my type is blondes with long legs and a snappy mouth."

"You're lucky you have me," I say haughtily. I said it with a playful tone but his eyes soften distinctly and small smile plays on his lips and it's so different from his usual sunshine-y smile, which is blinding. This smile is softer, like it's a secret he shared just with me. My heart leaps in my chest, and I look away from him.

It's been an hour since their show ended and Aaron and Logan are here. I'd say the others too, but they're fulfilling their 'duties' and when I look around, I can see Nate laughing with a beer in his hand, with a brunette freshmen I haven't seen around the campus much. I spot Dean squinting at something Emily from Thermal physics, is showing him and it looks like she's about to burst apart any second now from the laughter she's holding back.

All of them have showered and changed but I am electrifyingly alert of only the man standing beside me; I am enveloped in the tangy orange and soap of Aaron and his hair is sticking out messily but it also looks hot in the way only Aaron can make it look hot, in the way only a rose smells the way it smells, in the way only the ocean can drown you like it does.

I'd say it's a shame that he is out of his fire-engine red trunks but he has navy dress pants on with a black shirt rolled up to his sleeves and if I thought he looked edible on stage, he looks like a three course meal now. I also asked him about the oil. No, no one forced him to do it. Yes, he liked it. Yes, he wasn't brainwashed or manipulated to do it. Yes, he is completely aware of the sexual message it sends. No, he won't do it for me again.

But all things aside, he looks so beautiful it hurts my chest and my eyes and my hands, it hurts to not touch him, to have him near me, to sense him near me, because he looks like he's crafted by love.

I spot Ellie and Logan huddled together on our table, Logan looking at her tenderly while she is animatedly chatting to him. The look in his eyes sends a pang through my heart and I look up at Aaron, with his one arm wrapped around my waist and the other scrolling through his phone.

I think about the boyfriend thing that I blurted out earlier and I wonder what two month earlier Lexie would've thought about it. She would've smacked me in the head for even entertaining this idea, but now when I look at Aaron, I am pretty sure it isn't just secret jokes on the human skeleton, on his squeaky but soft bed, or marking epilogues of random books we found on second hand bookstores, or making out under the two am night sky when every sound is an echo or a footstep or someone whispering, anymore. It's so much more and I am scared.

I was so deep in my thoughts I don't notice when we reach the table and Aaron pulls out my chair; an action that sends flutters of butterflies to my heart. He looks at me funny and I wink at him to let him know everything is fine.

"So," Ellie is excited. Very. "How about we get out of here?"

"And go where?" I grab the glass of water in front of me and swallow more than half of the content in one go.

"Are you okay, Lexie?" Aaron whispers in my ear, rubbing small circles on my lower back which is having the opposite effect on me.

Suddenly I want him

Here,

There,

Everywhere.

I want his hands on the back of my neck and on the inside of my elbow and on the back of my thighs and on the crook of my hip bones and inside me and on me and I want his mouth everywhere his hands go and I feel jittery and alive. Like he set me on fire and only he can burn it out or I'll die a fever high.

I nod my head and try to join in on the conversation. Ellie is talking about getting out of here and going somewhere quieter and more private and I nod my head along with her words and I tell her that I am okay with whatever she decides but I don't tell her that I can't focus. That the only thing I can think about is the person beside me who's still rubbing those small circles, igniting a thousand different infinities in me and I am trying to keep it down, I am trying to not feel so light and so high up in the air.

But I look at him and he's covered in the shading lights of gold and red and green and I know it in my bones that this is going to be one of those moments I see flashing before my eyes when I die.

That beautiful college boy who was fire in my arms and had eyes like pine forests in a sunny morning and that midnight vodka sitting on my table and his laughter, sweeter than anything I have ever heard, echoing in my ears for twelve nights after, but most of all – Aaron.

"Lex are you there?" No.

"Yeah Logan."

"Alright so we're out then? Yeah?"

"Are you done pimping yourself out?" I snort, hoping with my dear life that none of them notice that my bones are still shaking, that I am a live wire on end and all I want to do is touch, feel and breathe Aaron.

"I didn't pimp myself out. It was a fun event."

I snicker, "You had chains around your trunks. Use that shit in your BDSM ideas."

"I don't know Lexie, it was kinda hot," Aaron admits, sipping from his glass, and the action sends me haywire inside my own brain.

"I liked it too," Ellie shrugs her shoulders.

"HA!" Logan fishes his arms around Ellie and Aaron's shoulders pulling them closer, "They both liked it, so your bratty mind can suck it."

"Whatever," I wave a dismissive hand through the air, wishing Liam and Andrew were here because they'd agree with me, but they had to go back to sort 'some things'. I hate being singled out.

But this conversation is not where I am at. I feel restless and cammy and suddenly the roof's too low and I think it's the vodka but it's not it's actually the orange and I just want to go, go, go.

"I don't want to walk around," Ellie whines, "Lex put me in heels and my feet hurt."

"You literally are sitting here for the last two hours."

"But it still hurts!"

I roll my eyes, "Ellie stop crying, this is not that deep."

"You know what," Logan interrupts us, "Let's just go roam around till we find somewhere to stop."

"What's the time now?" Aaron asks.

Have I told you how hot he looks right now? The red and golden flashes sets off his glow and his arms are bulging from where he has his arms, folded on the table and dear God, I am already wobbly in the knees. In my head. In my belly. In my chest. In my thighs. Everywhere.

"It's late, it's around twelve."

"Let's just go, we'll find somewhere on the road," Logan playfully bangs his fists on the table.

"Just a second," If I don't do this, I might do something stupid and I don't want to feel what I am feeling, I don't want to think about it because that's never going to happen, because it's a figment of my wildest dreams and I know better than to sit here and do wishful thinking,
"How about we grab some more vodka bottles?"

I look at Aaron and he's shaking his head flashing me that little smile again, the one which is custom-made for me and I want him to stop.

No, don't look at me like that, this wasn't supposed to go this far.

Stop smiling, you're ruining it.

Stop, be the playboy I know you are, please don't do this to me.

I want him to stop smiling like that at me because I look at him and my heart thumps wildly in my chest and I feel dizzy, maybe it's the alcohol, definitely it's not and then I look at his dark green eyes and I know.

I know it in my skin, in my bones, in my heart.

I know that I am so screwed.