1: I'm the Devil

ORION

"Damn, I'm bored. I feel like I wanna get tossed again all the way to hell from the gates of heaven."

The naked skanks around me giggled as if I said some funny things. Ugh, Dad didn't just tossed me, he tossed these stupid creatures with me.

But it's okay, I understand. My intelligence is enough and can suffice for all of us here in hell.

"Go away sluts I need some time alone."

All of them stood up in a second, they know better not to pissed me. I am Lucifer, I am damned and I ruled hell, they won't do as stupid as pissing the devil.

Nang makatayo na silang lahat ay tumayo rin ako at naglakad sa harap ng malaking salamin, watching myself in naked glory. What's to be bored with my life? I have the prettiest face that even the heavens envied, I have the intelligence one has to die for, I am perfect in every way but waking up to all these everyday seems so boring lately.

Aha I know it!

Why not let my ass waltz on human realm and cause havoc like I always do?

I'm good in pissing off Dad. That will not be boring.

Pinindot ko ang bungo na nasa gilid at wala pang segundo ay tumatakbo na sa harap ko ang isa sa mga alagad ko. A demon, with a horn between his eyes.

"You, ugly creature... Wait, I don't recognize you, are you new?" tanong ko sa kanya.

The demon bowed at me, "I'm here since your fall, Master."

Ah, right. It's just that he's so badlooking, so not worth remembering. At least hornedface is loyal.

"I see. What day is it in human realm?"

He peered at his planner, whoah this guy plans.

"Sunday, Master."

Sunday. Nice day to pissed off Dad. I pulled a cloth to wrap around my waist when I noticed a book along with the ugly unicorn demon's planner.

"What's that?"

Itinaas niya ang hawak. "Libro, Master."

"You are not funny ugly, I know it's a book baka nakakalimutan mong wala ang talino mo sa talino ko." I looked up to the ceiling of hell, whining. "Hey Dad you gave me idiots for servants! Can't I have your finest angels to scrub my foot and ass?"

But there's no way Dad will answer. In fact our communication ended when he decided to toss me just because he had a new favorite son.

Scumbag.

"So what's in that book?"

He looked hesitant to answer first. "It's human's book about gods and goddesses."

Natawa ako. Humans are idiots too. They're also good in pissing Dad for recognizing gods and goddesses. They're just mainly caretaker of some things yet humans worshipped then.

I don't need a book to ease my boredom but I need a name.

"Give me a name from that book."

Ugly unicorn blinked fast. "M-master tama ba ang narinig ko?"

So this unicorn isn't just ugly, he's also deaf and stupid. Uh, no one's better in hell at all things other than me.

"Yes idiot."

"Zeus..." sagot niya.

"Hmm, no. Another."

"Apollo."

"Sounds like a polio, no."

"Poseidon."

I fixed a lock of hair that fell to my forehead and pushed it back. "Corny."

"Aries."

"That, I don't like the sound of it."

"Narcissus."

"No. Next."

"Achilles."

"Cool but no."

"Hermes."

"That sounded gay."

"Hades, it's the ruler of hell in Greek---"

I scoffed. "Ha, so they didn't just pissed Dad but also me. I am the ruler of Hell!"

"...pero master, anong gagawin mo sa pangalan?"

"Why would I tell you, ugly?"

He bowed and apologized.

Good, that's good so I think I can tell him. "Kailangan ko ng pangalan. I wanted to take a walk on the human realm and cause chaos and make people sin, like I always do."

Napatingin ulit siya sa hawak na planner. "Pero master, may sampung buwan pa bago ang araw na maari kang dumalaw sa mundo ng mga tao."

"Fuck Dad and his sidekick angels, I can go there anytime I want because I figured out a way out of hell." I figured it a long time ago but I wanted to stay here plus there was a time I went to human realm and an angel stole flames in hell.

Huh he thought he can, bad for him I caught him in the act so I had him punished. He carried that flame for the rest of eternity. It's more of a power than a punishment, he can summon flames of hell but other says its cursed! And I've given him bright red for a hair color and that was instant salon-made hair but asshole wasn't thankful because he choose to repent!

Boring.

Hinintay ko pa naman ang anghel na iyon dito. I heard he's fallen for such sin and I was ready to welcome him with open arms but bitch didn't enter the gates of hell and became a grin reaper instead.

Boo, such a shame. No fun at all.

"Name unicorn, name."

"...how about Orion?"

I snapped. "That sounded cool. Okay, I take it. Orion. Ah, my name's great but I don't want people freaking out every time they ask for my name. Why is my name so bad to them? Maybe Dad spread false rumors about me."

"Baka ganoon nga master," sagot ni Unicorn.

I swatted him away. "Okay okay, go away now unicorn. You're so ugly it bothers me."

And he did, thankfully.

For now I need to find fun.

In human realm.

***

Party is great.

A lot of people commit sins.

Haha dad look at your people!

Kinuha ko ang isang baso at patuloy na nagmasid sa paligid. For thousands of years I had few and quick visits in the human realm so this isn't new to me.

I sipped on my scotch watching people pissed the heavens. Good job humans, good job.

Bigla na lamang naging tahimik ang paligid at tila huminto ang bawat isa sa ginagawa. Uh, knew it.

"Well hello there brother," bati ko sa anghel na nasa likuran ko. I don't need to turn just to know who it was.

"This isn't the right time to be here Lucifer."

In a blink, Raphael was in front of me. "Hello brother Raffy."

"Be serious Lucifer."

"I am, that's why I started with a greeting that you didn't even return. Boo, you're no fun brother. Bow-riiing." I laughed as I stared at the bow he had on his back. That was one funny pun but Raffy didn't laugh.

Bow-riiing!

"Go back to hell."

I poured another shot on my glass. "Last time I checked, I don't listen to dad, what makes you think I will listen to you brother?"

"Lucifer---"

"No fun Raffy, you still wanted to be dad's apple of the eye? Good luck to that, now go away I need to drunk my ass with the free booze here. Byeee!"

He shot me a warning look before he disappeared at bumalik na ang malakas na tugtog sa paligid. The people who froze from making sins resumed as if nothing happened.

One reason why I come all the way here is that their booze is weak. They won't let me see stars when dealing with headache or hangover, in other words I can have as much booze I want without getting drunk.

Sounds conventional.

"Hey handsome."

Napatingin ako sa babae na umupo sa tabi ko sa counter ng bar. "Hey."

Slender waist, good rack but fake lips. Well, it isn't that bad though.

"I'm Sophie."

Tinanggap ko ang nakalahad niyang palad. "Lu-- Orion."

"Oh, Orion. Haven't seen you around lately," she said, putting some strands of hair behind her ears as he crossed her legs in a sexy way.

"First time to be here."

"Really? Where are you from?"

I leaned towards her ear to whisper. "All the way from hell."

Tumawa siya at mahinang hinampas ako sa balikat. "You're funny."

Bitch I'm not joking.

"You think so?" tanong ko.

She nodded as her slender fingers crawled its way from my stomach towards the tie I'm wearing, pulling it down so she could have me close.

"That explains why you're hot. So, Orion... No one minds if I kiss you?"

"Yeah, no one."

She giggled and pulled me closer to nipped my ear. Human sex isn't bad though they're not as vigorously as succubi and other sex demons who were created for mere lust.

Still, humans can do it.

When the slut Sophie started kissing my neck, fingers started unbuttoning my shirt, namataan ko ang pagpasok ng isang babaeng nakasuot ng bistidang puti.

She has angel wings and fake halo.

Uh, I forgot this is a costume party that's why some people dressed up in fancy attire. There was even a guy who wore something ugly with horns, tail and a trident while screaming he is the devil.

Asshole! His costume is way too ugly and disgusting to be me plus I don't have a tail, and no corny trident! Oh shit humans had a false representation of what me, Lucifer, is actually like!

I was the most good looking in heaven, how much more in hell let alone human realm? Damn.

Ngunit balik sa babae... She looked so lost. She had a perfect curve on her lips that she used to frown.

Mukhang may hinahanap siya sa paligid. I watched her sat on the counter, take a sip on her drink only to winced upon tasting it.

Oh fascinating. What's this little girl doing here?

Plus I hate her costume. I was once in that white halo and wings too but figured out white is boring and black is the new sexy.

My train of thoughts were interrupted by a sound of a zipper. So I looked down to where the slut in front of me was about to go down. I pulled her up by hair and pulled up my fly.

"Hold up, I changed my mind."

"What? I'm about to give you a head---"

"Got much head in hell that they all turned to skulls. Bye slut!" Ininom ko muna ang laman ng baso bago bumaba sa inuupuan kong stool at lumapit sa babaeng nakacostume ng anghel.

"Hello angel."

She looked at me, surprised a bit.

I knew my beauty's surprising.

"I'm Orion," pakilala ko at ngumiti. She just stared at my hand and I realized she's crying. Ops, what made angel cry?

Uminom siya sa kanyang baso at hindi man lamang ako tiningnan nang matagal. She didn't even accept my hand. That is bad, this angel is bad.

"So you're crying."

Her eyes passed me and when I followed it, she's looking at the guy across us, who was kissing a girl on the dancefloor.

Oh, so I came all the way from hell to witness this drama. Great.

"You know I can offer you a kiss too if you want. You look so envious there sweetheart."

She let out a sigh. "Do me a favor and leave, please."

Okay that's surprising. She looks kind and all, but she's not. Definitely not an angel.

"You want me to leave when I offer you help, not good sweatheart."

"And stop calling me that."

I grinned and stood up behind her. "Tell me what do you desire sweatheart."

"Leave."

Stubborn.

"Who's the guy?"

She drink again. "None of your business."

"Do you want him dead?"

Nagulat siya sa sinabi ko. "What? No!"

"Or get embarrassed?"

Nagtatakang napatingin siya sa akin. "Ha?"

"Let me guess, he cheated." Obviously. The guys kissing another girl, maybe sweetheart is his girl hut he screwed another. Ah, I love sinners they're all welcome to hell!

"How about let him be poured with a drink?"

"Ano---" She gasped when a waiter accidentally pouted a drink on them kaya natigil ang paghahalikan nila.

"What the fuck dude?!" sigaw ng lalaki. I can hear them perfectly but angel cannot so I had to blew in her ear just so she could hear them from this distance.

"Anong ginawa mo?" she asked me, horrified.

"Shh, things are just getting interesting sweetheart. Wait for it."

Lumapit sa kanila ang isa pang lalaki at tinuro nito ang babaeng kahalikan ng lalaki kanina. Actually they weren't just kissing, I'm certain they had a good quickie over the side.

Sneaky.

"Hey! Hindi ba't ikaw 'yong may STD?! You're that girl!" bulalas ng isa pang lalaki na nasa gilid nila.

Nagulat ang lalaki, gayundin si angel sa gilid ko. It must be devastating to know your guys fucking an infected slut. Good fucking luck to their sex life.

"You're what?"

"Dude you're fucked up, my friend had sex with her before and now he's sick!"

The guy's face was priceless. "What the hell?!"

Bigla na lamang akong hinarap ni angel. I smiled sweetly and blow a kiss in the air. "You're welcome sweetheart."

Her mouth gaped open as she put a finger in her ear, looking at me with disbelief. "Who are you?"

Inilahad ko ulit ang palad sa harap niya. "Orion. I told you a while ago, remember?"

My toothy grin didn't work, she still looked baffled and couldn't believe her eyes. She blinked at me, "Paano... mo nagawa iyon? Malayo tayo sa kanila, maingay ang paligid, ni hindi ko nga halos marinig ang mga nasa gilid ko lang and they're far but...but... A-anong ginawa mo?"

I shrugged. "Just blew your ear sweetheart."

"W-what are you?"

I gave her a menacing look. "I'm the devil sweetheart, I'm the devil."

#

A/N: Hehe you'll surely love the vain and immature Orion soon.

This will not be dark and gothic but colorful and sappy lol

ShinichiLaaaabs✒️