Here you go dude, I really hope that I could help. And I can't wait to take another read when it improves JonieLax

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Action book review: Ryken Augmented

Author: JonieLax

Title: Ryken Augmented

First thought on the title: I'll be honest I don't like this title, but looking at it from a completely objective standpoint. This is a bad title it doesn't pop or catch the reader's attention, its one of those titles that you look at, skim over think "huh weird title" and keep on looking for something else. On Wattpad having an interesting title is incredibly important but your title reads more like a generic computer part than a book title. That's no good my dude, 5 out of 10 while it's not a bad title per say it's very meh and middle of the road it has absolutely no personality.

Cover: I see the effort put into the cover I really do such as the lettering style that's very Metal gear or Gundam and the wolf and lion look really good in that polygon type of style. The problems arise with the person you have on the cover which I'm assuming is Samane, but his colors and facial expression clash heavily with the background due to the background being more vibrant colors. If you want to keep Samane on the cover then I recommend adjusting the background to dark blues and purples. Or you could have him standing in front of his school next to his friends.

8 out of 10 while you almost have everything perfect I do recommend a color correction maybe you could have a more hand-drawn light cover look. The 2.5 D is kind of throwing me off.

Summary: Ryken Augmented is an action/adventure novel that tells the story of a teenage boy by the name of Samané Lutrio living in the Laevus nation. This page-turning saga invokes laughter, anger, and despair as Samané and his friends go through the joyous, yet bitter days of their teenage lives. With his father dead for more than seven years now, Samané struggles to find his way in life while trying desperately to hold his family together. This continuous inner conflict within Samané is hidden by his cool, nonchalant exterior until one day his brother leaves home and he is unable to hold his emotions back anymore. As Samané courageously pursues his delinquent brother, Metis, he loses the best friend he's ever had. Despite these tragic occurrences, Samané learns the true meaning of perseverance, honor, and trust while plunging ever deeper into wicked territory. During his epic journey, Samané fights against the odds with the same determination as his deceased father, but in the presence of the Excessum, even that may not prove to be enough...

Thoughts: Um holy shit my dude I don't think this could even fit on the back of the book. So this summary can be cut down significantly. Such as the beginning part we already know the name of your book so there's no need to tell us again. A better way to write it would be like this: "Samane Lutrio is a young teenage boy living in the Laevus nation, with his father dead for more than seven years now, Samane struggles to find his way in life while desperately trying to hold what family he has left together. As this inner conflict within Samane is masked by his laid back exterior his brother's disappearance causes him to reach his breaking point. As Samane fights against the odds tragedy after tragedy engulfs him he  dives even deeper into wicked territory  learning the true meaning of honor, perseverance, and trust."

Boom that's all you need a lot of your summary is completely bloated by telling us things that we should find out in the book itself. If you cut way back on that and trim it the summary will be better. If you like use my example 2 out of 5 the summary is unnecessarily bloated and ruins any foreshadowing you want to build up in the future.

First and second Impressions:

1: Oh wow that, that's a lot of big words. It is okay to use smaller words as it can make the story flow more naturally.  At the start of the story, it kind of reads like a computer wrote it it's incredibly stiff and awkward which can easily be fixed by just using simpler words/descriptions. I definitely got a Vergil and Dante devil may cry type of feel from Metis and Samane, the set up is almost exactly the same. Two identical twin brothers at odds with each other due to their father's legacy.

2: So the way you write action is kind of a double-edged sword, I know that you're trying to go for that exciting anime type of feel, but in most of the light novels I read people don't call out attacks, it's only used in anime when its actually animated as a way to notify the viewer which power they're using as well as building hype. In a book, it looks hilarious because they're just telegraphing major attacks while doing said attack. At certain times the action did flow well but usually, it was simplistic due to lack of detail.

Another issue was a time when a lot of characters were together when one character said something there were no dialogue tags or actions to indicate who was talking back/ answering the character who had spoken in the first place. which made reading a bit hard. One example is in chapter two after Samane's fight, there are quite a few examples of this.

6 out of 10 for me while this book tries its hardest to show its anime roots it instead feels like a slow stereotypical shounen anime a lot of the time something I'd watch for maybe 3 episodes then give up. I would suggest trying to give more detail on the world you're trying to create because you talk about it a lot but barely use it to your full advantage. I want to see the quirks of the world Metis and Samane grew up in. I did enjoy their sibling rivalry however because it reminded me a lot of Vergil and Dante, at the beginning they disagree about each other's, value, thoughts and very existence.

Grammatical rating: 4 out of 5 like I said before in certain chapters when a lot of characters are present you definitely need to add some dialogue tags so that other readers won't be confused. Other than that your grammar was perfect just don't be afraid to use simpler words, it helps dialogue flow naturally.

Genre ratings:

Action category: 5 out of 5 there was tons of action in the book, I'm also really glad we actually got to see Samane training instead of just skipping ahead in time to show that he has all these new powers.

As for realism 9 out of 10 anime isn't meant to be realistic but taking other light novels I've read having characters shout out attacks is really silly outside of actual anime, it has the opposite effect of building hype. As I said before using simpler words and more descriptions can actually help the readers visualize fights by using words they automatically know and recognize so it'll also keep the flow going in their minds. They won't have to stop in the middle of a fight and think what the heck does this word mean?

Sub-genres:

Anime: 2 out of 5 on the originality scale as I read this all I could see was a Devil May cry crossover while they have different names Metis and Samane's conflict mirrors Dante and Vergil's almost exactly just minus demons and hell replaced with Ryken and Ground Zero.

2 out of 10 while you got moderately descriptive for the fights and you made your own magic system even. We didn't get practically any interactions with the actual world outside of exposition about how Rykens and humans interact. You made a world and did nothing with it that's the equivalent of making a Zelda game but not putting in the weird NPCs, heartfelt yet weird quest, the amazing towns or awesome dungeons. Just making it a boss rush kind of like Tri Force Heroes actually. It just doesn't give me any idea of your writing style.

Overall Scores:

Title: 5 out of 10

Cover: 8 out of 10

Summary: 2 out of 5

First and second impressions: 6 out of 10

Grammatical: 4 out of 5

Genre:

Action Category 1: 5 out of 5

Action Category 2: 9 out of 10

Sub Genre:

Anime Category 1: 2 out of 5

Anime Category 2: 2 out of 10

Final Score: 7 out of 10 your novel definitely needs a lot more work and fine tuning but it still has sparkles of good in there to expand upon. You have to utilize the world you created or it's just a waste and it'll definitely hold your book back. But keep working and improving because I want to see it blossom into something amazing.