Chapter 75 - Done

— Tobias

"Hey!" I cant resist the smile on my face when Tris answers the phone she smiles back at me, clearly trying to hide the fact that she looks exhausted.

"I miss you." She replies directly, making my heart pang. "Where are you?"

"Amity. Things are going good, trust me. I can't legally talk about it on the phone or text about it right now, but trust me, it's good."

All the leaders of Chicago came to a solution: give Peter to the Bureau, but tell the citizens of Chicago that he was executed. Peter has already left the city in the hands of the Bureau, but a statement has yet to be made to the public.

"That's good!" She smiles and I know from her eyes that it's sincere.

My heart just pangs every time I talk to her.
I feel like I've left her, and I hate it.
This is my eighth week being gone now, and it's been eight weeks too long.

We sit, both looking at each other through the lens. Just knowing her, I know something is off.

"Tell me." My voice comes out quiet, soft, just like I intended.

She sits silent for a minute and I see her processing what she's trying to say.

"I, well, I've started remembering things again, Tobias," her eyes don't meet mine, even if it is through both of our phones.

I sigh, unsure of what to say.

"I've been writing down everything, literally everything I remember. Tobias, I feel like I have a hold on all my memories since halfway through age seventeen." Her voice sounds hopeful, but her eyes scream so many other things.

"Are you okay?"

Forget this.
I'm taking a train home today.
She's remembered things before, and I know how it goes, and I can't be on the other side of the city knowing she's struggling way over—

"You're not running home. Tobias I'm fine." Her speaking breaks my thoughts. "Writing the memories down has been helping; almost therapeutic. You can't stop your business trip right now, right in the middle of it."

Her eyes tell me the truth.
The truth that she's okay.
She's not lying to me.
She actually is okay.

I nod, telling her about how I have a meeting in an hour with the head Bureau soldier stationed at the fence.

"I miss you." I tell her as directly as she told me earlier.

"I know." She smiles softly.

I didn't think I would be gone for more than two months.
But I found myself jerked awake by a phone call from Amar during the month of November: eight months after I left just days after my son's second birthday. At the time I was asleep in a bunker where the Dauntless fence staff sleep. The Bureau was refusing to relinquish their soldiers, and against Tris's preference I was just two days out from my own trip to negotiate with the Bureau.

I told her I wouldn't go if she really didn't want me to.
But I planned on going.
And I was going to.

But suddenly I wasn't.
Suddenly that trip no longer mattered.

— Tris

I sigh, pressing the red button to hang up the phone. Laying back on the bed, I noticed I've been talking to Tobias for an hour now, but it's still only six-thirty in the morning.

I've gotten use to him being away. It's sad, but he's working on saving people: saving our city.
Seven months... a lot has happened since he's been gone.
Shauna and Zeke's twins turned one.
Christina and Will are having a baby girl, and she should be here any day now.
Thomas is halfway through his second year of life. He's been speaking somewhat full sentences, and loves running around playing with Rose's daughter, Charley.

Standing up, I stretch my arms over my head, sighing when my back pops.
Tobias really thinks he will be able to come home by the end of the month.
But tomorrow, he's leaving for the Bureau. He says he'll only be there for a few days, and once he returns to the city he is done with this trip.

I miss his touch.
His lips on mine. Our hands intertwined.

Neither of us expected him to be gone this long.
We also didn't expect that he would end up so busy that he couldn't even swing home to visit for a weekend.

Indy yawns, greeting me as I go into the living room, making my way to the kitchen in search of a glass of water.

I yawn, opening the fridge and pouring myself a glass before turning around clicking on the coffee pot.
I'm going to need that today.
Visiting week starts today, and I've got to be down at the Main Building to greet people in an hour.

I find myself moving faster than my head can handle to get Thomas up, fed and dressed along with organizing last minute papers to bring with me today.

"Alright, go get your backpack for grandma's." I help him off of the chair and he runs off to his bedroom.

Usually this is so much easier when Tobias is here. He takes care of Tom and I can get the week done...

Shit, where's my ID tag?
And I need my phone in the bedroom.
And my binder with all the papers.

I turn around and go back to the kitchen.
I think I left my ID in there on the table.

Glancing at my watch I curse.

"Tom we have to go now! Mommy has to be at work in ten minutes and—" I gasp, not noticing what's happened until it already has.

Oh my god.

Pain radiates through my left leg as I come to my senses, my back pressed against the hard floor.

"Mommy?" I hear Tom's voice but I don't see him.

I feel myself shaking, and I don't know if it is out of fear or out of incredible pain.

I blink, once, twice, and see the lip of the living room carped pulled up, and just to the left of me I see Tom's green truck.

I tripped on the carpet, and then my whole body weight fell not only onto my left leg, but the truck as well.

I drag myself over to the couch, propping myself up on the floor in front of it and grit my teeth.

"Mommy!" I hear Tom running over to me and I try to catch my breath.

Please no.
God, no.
Don't tell me.

I pull up my left pant leg and already see the blood beneath my skin internally bleeding.

No.

No!

"Thomas, baby, you need to help me," I gasp at the end, swallowing and catching my breath. "My phone, it's on Mommy's bed, can you get it and bring it here?" I ask, my vision blurring.

I haven't felt pain like this in years.

"Why?" His eyes are watering, probably sensing my urgency and being confused.

"Mommy got a boo-boo, and she needs help," I feel my voice fading. "Run, Thomas, go as fast as you can, it's a race!" I exhale, my head falling back onto the cushion of the couch.

I hear his little feet run away, and I hear Indy follow him.

What am I going to do.

I inhale sharply, gritting my teeth to keep from crying out and scaring Tom.

I need to know the extent of my injuries.

I find the energy to use my shaking hands to pull up my pant leg and take another look.
The flesh is blood red under the skin, and an odd bump tells me with confidence that the muscle is torn.

It's bad.

I look up and see Tom standing in front of me, holding my phone.

"Good job, thank you." I gasp, my shaking hand taking the phone and unlocking it quickly.

I open my contacts and tap the first name on the list, not even knowing whom I've dialed.

I notice my vision blurring and all I can feel is the tremendous pain in my leg.

"Hello?" A faint male voice comes through the phone. I try to answer, but I can't find my voice.

"Tris?" The voice comes again.

"Help..." I drop the phone as I speak, and I'm not sure if my voice was even heard.

"Thomas! Thomas!" The male voice comes through the phone but I feel myself slip.

Not again.
I can't do this again.

—Third Person

Thomas picks up the phone, his name being called through the line.

"Mommy!" He cries through the phone, picking it up in his small hands.

"Hey, One, it's Uncle Amar." Amar tries to act calm as he talks to the two year old through the phone. "Are you okay?"

The little boy is confused by all that is happening, and why there is a voice talking to him through the device.

"Are you at your home?" Amar is already running to their apartment, trying to keep the boy on the line. "Is Indy with you?" He tries asking, knowing the boy knows his dog's name and knowing Tris wouldn't be out with the dog the morning of Visiting Week.

"Indy here!" He says to the device, still confused. Amar sighs a breath, knowing he's on the right track. He picks up his pace, knowing for sure something is wrong.

"Is your mommy there?" He breathlessly asks through the phone.

"Boo-boo," he says before dropping the phone and going back to his mother.

"I love you, baby," Tris kisses his head, feeling fainter by the second.

"Mommy..." He cries, looking down at her exposed leg.

"No, no, don't look," she turns his head away from her leg and back to her face. She focuses on him, brushing a blonde curl out of his eyes, cupping his pale, chubby cheek.

His face keeps her holding on.
She knows she can't fall unconscious again.
She has to hold on.

—Tris

I don't notice much.
I become unaware of my surroundings, for how long, I am unsure.

I hear the door open and Thomas get up.

"Jesus Christ!" My breath hitches when I hear Amar's voice.

My contacts are in alphabetical order.
Of course his name was first.

"Oh my god!" I hear a female voice that I can't put my finger on. I jump, suddenly worried about who's in my house.

I attempt to look around, but my vision is failing me. All I catch is Amar's tall form and a glimpse of bleach blonde hair.

"Sarah, can you stay with Tom? I'm taking her to the Infirmary." The two have an interaction and I feel a person next to me.

"Can you hear me?" I feel a small hand on my cheek softly and I jump, nodding.

"She's as white as a sheet. Oh my god, her leg!" I hear a female voice, who must be Sarah.

Many people know what I've been through. Sarah probably knows, but not to an extreme extent like this.

"Its me, Amar, you're alright, I'm going to pick you up, alright?" I feel a hand on mine.

"No!" I manage to gasp, my mind flashing in paranoia. I feel myself trembling, but my whole body is numb.

"I'm sorry." Is the last thing he says before I feel myself lifted off the ground.

I'm no longer numb.
Every nerve in my body focuses on my leg.

I cling to his shirt as we move.

I'm not letting him throw me.
I'm not letting him drop me.
He won't hurt me if I hang on.

I hear his voice as I go in and out of consciousness. I'm unsure of what happens until I feel his movements slow.

I screech when I feel myself being lowered.
"Please, no!" I gasp.
He's going to throw me.
He's going to hurt me.

I feel softness under me when the hands holding me leave me. I slowly release the fabric of his shirt, my hands shaking.

"They're going to take care of you. I can't go back because I'm not immediate family, but don't worry. I've got Thomas, and I'll call Four for you. Just, hang in there, okay?" I feel a hand and lips to my forehead before I feel movement again.

People talk all around me and I cannot handle the amount of footsteps.
Anyone in here could be trying to kill me.
I can't keep track of each person.

"No..." I hear the sound of fabric cutting and I try to cry out.

"We have to get her to Erudite!" A male voice insistently says.

"She'll never make it like this! Where's her file? For Christ's sake, someone read me Tris Eaton's file!" A loud female voice yells making me jump.

"It's okay," I feel a hand on my forehead and I open my eyes. A young male is taking my temperature, and he seems to be the only one that knows I'm conscious.

Don't give me painkillers. I think I say it out loud to the boy but I realize my lips aren't moving.

I've been addicted to drugs. Don't give me painkillers. My voice is clear in my head, but again, my lips aren't moving.

Amar doesn't know, I don't think. He probably didn't know to tell them about how I was forcibly given and overdosed on oxycodone regardless.
Erudite knows, but I'm not sure if my Dauntless files are as frequently updated as the Erudite ones.

"She's twenty-eight, five feet tall and one hundred and ten pounds. Blood type O negative, she's a patient at Erudite and specific directions to not do anything to her and send her directly to Erudite Med." A young voice reads.

"Well, she's bleeding out now. Hook up an IV and hang a unit of O negative. We've got to stop this bleeding!" A male voice calls before I feel hands on me.

"No!" I gasp, my voice barely heard. I shakily grab the young man's hand and try to get his attention.

"She's conscious!" The same female voice as before gasps.

"Get an IV in her, now. Tris, just relax, you're in good hands, were going to get you to Erudite as soon as you're stable." The woman comes into my field of vision and places a hand on my face. The distraction causes me to not notice the IV being placed in my arm and I jerk it away, trying to yank it out.

They don't know what they can't give me.
They don't know if they give me painkillers I will become addicted.

"Give her anesthesia, her heart rate is through the roof." The male also comes into my line of vision, but I feel myself loosing my grip on reality.

"She's genetically pure, doctor. Chances are it won't touch her because of how high her heart rate is." A young male voice says.

"Her leg is swelling too much! I've got to drain the blood or she could loose her leg!" The woman calls again and I feel her hand leave my face.

"Give her painkillers then! She needs something!" The male yells.

No.
No.
No.

"What can she even have with being genetically pure?" The woman asks.
Nothing.
Don't give me anything.

"Push 30 of morphine." The man says and I hear people moving.

"I can't wait any longer, Tris, hold on for me, okay?" I feel something sharp enter my leg and I can't stop the cry that leaves my mouth.

I feel someone to my left and I shake my arm with the IV in it.

"Sir we don't have any, the Bureau cut us off. All we have left is a couple bags of generic OxyContin—"

"That will do, just push it!" The man snaps.

They can't give me that.

They can't.
I don't know how to tell them.
It will kill me.

It has tried to kill me before.

And it will again.

I scream, feeling the sharpness move again in my leg. All I hear is voices and the heart monitor beeping rapidly and loudly.

"She won't stop moving!" The person to my left says frantically.

Stop! I try to scream. Don't do it!

Someone grabs my arm, pushing it to the bed.

It's done.
I know it's done.

I'm done.