Chapter 45 - Short and Sweet

— Tris

"Thank you all for coming," Josh begins. "Now I know you all have short attention spans, so I will try and keep this quick."

"This is not unusual," he motions to the lack of ambassadors around the table that is normally used for leader meetings. "It happened before Ian took the position as head ambassador himself after the Faction War."

Just over half of the ambassadors have quit their position, many deciding that they have aged out, for only the youngest of us are left.

Evelyn was among the many to leave her position. Not needing much income for simply herself, she decided she wanted to look for a less demanding job and allow someone the position who would enjoy it more.

I usually find myself among the rowdy group of the ambassadors, but there is a whole other group of older, more wise members. Some of them were more enjoyable, while others were always around for simply business.

Almost all of them left their positions now.

"I know we're all trying to move forward," Josh's voice breaks my thoughts. "And those who have chosen to leave are doing just that. It has been eight weeks since we lost our dear friend," he stands quiet for a second.

Shit.

"He did not leave me the papers upon who was suppose to take his position."

There is silence in the room, but for some reason it is not awkward.

I am sure I am the only one finding my heart racing and face turning hot in the whole room.

"It has been Dauntless protocol for generations that positions are handed down via the former of the position. Usually, the predecessor lets the person whom they have chosen know of their choice, or they leave behind papers either with me or somewhere in their desk. Considering things happened unexpectedly, and Ian was never one for organization—"

A few people chuckle and I join them.

His organization was always my job.

"I'm not asking for anyone to name themselves in front of the group right now, but if Ian left papers for anyone, or ever hinted at leaving the title to one of you, please do address me as soon as you feel comfortable. In order to move forward past all of this, we need to be able to have a head ambassador for hiring new ambassadors, along with many other tasks. I'm not sure what we will do in a scenario where no one was left the position, but we will deal with that when it occurs."

"It was me," a female voice says, sorrow-toned. I turn my head in shock across the table to Kaylee, a lean, tall brunette woman, who I feel, has never has been fond of me. She scans down the table at each one of our faces before her eyes land on Josh at the head. "Just weeks ago he was talking about paperwork with me, and he said out of the blue, even I was shocked by his randomness, that if he were to ever be gone that his job would become mine. I didn't want to think about it, upon his passing. But I guess we all have to move forward, right Josh?" She continues the sorrow in her tone through her whole speech, and I wonder how much of it is true.

I think about standing up, walking away and grabbing the papers out of the drawer of my desk.

But what if she was right?
She couldn't be.
Those papers were addressed to Beatrice Prior.
I had clearly seen my name on the line when I looked at them.

"Let us meet in private, Kaylee," Josh says. "The rest of you may go, unless there is further questions."

I find myself automatically walking back to my office, my head down, not engaging conversation as I walk.

"Tris," Tobias tries to gain my attention as I briskly pass his office, my leg aching as I move.

"Tris." I hear him follow me, but I'm on a mission.

I stick my key in the doorknob and flip on the light to my office. After flickering half a dozen times, it consistently glows, illuminating the room.

"He was trying to leave me an out. Shut the door," I notice that he did not shut the door behind him as he followed me.

"Tris, what the hell is going on?"

"Ian, that son of a bitch. Close the door, Four!" I feel myself growing more and more tense.

I'm surprised by my anger. I mean, I'm human, I get angry at situations, but some person creating confusion has never caused me to have tears streak down my cheeks and quickly anger this way.

"Tris, you have to calm down. Talk to me, love."

It's like my emotions are on steroids.

I'm pacing a hole in the floor as I rapidly walk the length of my office.
If I tell Tobias about the papers, I no longer have an out to the position.
But if Kaylee gets the position because of some white lie—

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I am suddenly unable to control my lips from speaking. I move to my desk and push away the chair. I dig in the drawer where I left the envelope, and sure enough it is right where I left it. I take out the papers and set them on the top of the desk.

"What is this?" He moves over to stand by me and I begin my pacing again.

"He knew I wouldn't want the job, or who knows, maybe he filled these out when I couldn't take the job legally. But he left me an out. He didn't tell anyone he chose me. The loose lips son of a bitch who I thought couldn't keep a secret kept this for how long, and he never told anyone."

"Left you an out?" Tobias sits at my desk chair, filing through the papers with his one viable hand.

I nod, nausea filling my stomach as my leg burns.

"So let me clarify," He looks up at me. "By not telling anyone, no one would know that you have these," he lifts the papers. "So no one could force the position on you."

"No one does know, except for you and I now."

"Well Tris, you can't say no. I mean, those papers you signed five years ago were shredded, and you're not seen as a criminal anymore. And with Dauntless protocol—"

"I know the protocol, Tobias!" I run my hands through my loose hair, leaning my back against the wall and closing my eyes. I'm surprised by my ability to snap at him in irritation, but I'm too stressed to ponder on it heavily.

"Those papers were just shredded under a year ago, and West was just murdered seven weeks ago. Does that not seem suspicious? Do you not think that people will suddenly target me for trying to get some kind of power? Tobias, I was arrested eight weeks ago!"

"For a crime and attack that you had nothing to do with! Tris, you were tried not guilty, none of that was on you!" He grows short with me, frustration clear in his tone.

"I don't know what to do," I exhale, attempting to calm down. My eyes meet his and I see his frustration melt away.

"What happened at the meeting?"

"Kaylee said he picked her," my anger suddenly floods away from me.

"Did she have papers like these?" As my anger fades his only seems to regrow.

"No."

"Tris, you've got to talk to Josh."

"I don't want the job, Tobias!"

He sighs, standing from my desk. For a moment I think he will storm out of my office, irritated at my inability to make a decision.

The eighteen year old Tobias that I once knew would have done that.

However, the current twenty-eight year old Tobias, who I have now married, does not storm off. His face softens as his eyes study mine and I feel tears brim in the corners of mine.

"You don't seem like yourself, Beatrice," he holds my upper arm with his one hand tightly, concern in his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I miss him," I manage to croak. "I don't want his job because I don't want his office. I don't want to replace him. I don't want to watch him yell my name and get crushed by cement over and over, every time I walk down this damn hallway."

"And you want Kaylee having all of that?" He is quick with his response, and the skeptical look in his eyes makes my heart skip a beat.

He presses his lips in between my eyebrows, his eyes locking with mine when he distances himself with me.

He's not going to tell me what to do.
I'm not asking him to.
But I know him, and I know the look he gives me.
I know what he wants me to do.

I think it's the same thing that I want to do.

Tobias leaves my office and I follow him, the envelope in my hands.

We break away at the end of the ambassador hallway, him leaving towards his office while I head towards Josh's open door.

I knock twice, glad to see only him sitting there.

Short and sweet, Beatrice.

I don't bother closing the door or sitting down when I put the papers in front of him.

"Thank god," He smiles at me. He pulls out his pen and signs on the designated line for him, handing me the pen to sign my name.

Beatrice Eaton.

It's the first time I'm signing my new, married name.

"You have to change it to Eaton," I point to the line where, in Ian's barely legible handwriting, my name is written.

"I will. And don't worry about Kaylee—"

"I'm keeping my current office," I say directly.

Short and sweet.

"No problem there."

"Thank you," I nod and excuse myself.