Chapter 17 - Don't Get Arrested

—Tobias

What did she want to talk about?

My heart is aching.

She's holding onto my hand for dear life as her cast is removed. I don't get how her swelling got so bad over a matter of hours.

The sound of the saw is usually enough to set Tris at unease from the beginning, now, she was already in pain before it even started.

I try to talk to her, but nothing helps. She's just in too much pain.

"Halfway there, Tris! Do you need a break?"

She doesn't reply.

"Are you okay or do you want her to stop?"

"Get it off," she gasps in a pained exhale.

"Tris you can't pass out on me."

"Just take it off!"

Dr. Scott continues cutting the cast.

Tris has always been the kind of person to push through. Compared to a break, she'd rather take all the pain at once and then be relieved afterwards. It's one thing I've noticed about her. She cannot procrastinate. She's rather push through all at once and be glad it's over, or just move onto the next thing.

Dr. Scott makes it two thirds when Tris cries out.

"STOP!" She screeches, her hands trembling as they grip mine with an extreme amount of strength.

She's sweating and shaking as she breathes heavily.

"Beatrice, please let me put some oxygen on you," Marie looks to Julie who moves and situates the oxygen machine in the room.

She shakes her head when Julie holds the mask lightly to her face.

"Tris, you're alright. Please let her give you oxygen. You'll end up in such worse shape if you end up passing out during this."

She doesn't resist when Julie lightly hold the mask to her face again. I continue to stroke her hair as both her hands grip my one.

"Tris, I'm almost done. Can you tolerate like thirty seconds more with the saw until I can use scissors to get the rest?"

"Just get it off," she screeches.

The annoying sound of the saw starts carving at the cast again as Tris tenses completely. Tears flow down her cheeks freely as her eyes are glued shut.

My heart is aching.

She's been feeling so well for so long.

She's been looking forward to this day and now here she is in so much pain.

"It's off!" Marie declares as she uses scissors to peel back the remaining layers of fabric and cast.

"Oh thank god," get me medical scissors before the swelling travels please, Julie. She's got a lot of stitches."

"I'll work, then we'll talk," Marie says, busying herself with taking out the stitches.

Tris lies there still, defeated.

"I'm so proud of you," I kiss her between her eyebrows.

Julie took the oxygen off of her to help Marie with the stitches, and Tris still breathes heavily.

The swelling to her leg is really bad, but it's worst up by her knee. The swelling didn't travel to below the cast much, so it looks.

"Tris, I'm sorry, but I'm icing your knee. I'll stay away from your calf, but your knee needs it, and you don't need knee problems on top of all of this." Marie pulls a long ice pack from the freezer across the room and wraps it in a towel, then around Tris's left knee. She winces.

"Okay, can you point your toes for me?"

She moves her foot slightly downward. Not enough to be called pointed.

"Side to side?"

She kind of moves her foot side to side. Enough to show movement of some sort.

"The one motion I do not want you doing is pushing your heel down, like opposite direction of pointing your toes. Don't pull your toes towards you. That's the muscle we had trouble with in surgery, and physical therapy will help you heal that."

Marie moves to sit on a seat.

"You are so lucky that swelling didn't travel. I mean, if that traveled to your calf, all of those stitches would've stretched and possibly made everything worse. But it didn't happen, and you can kind of move your foot in all directions we fixed, so your internal stitches healed over then. I'm going to have you in a walking cast that will immobilize this muscle back here," she motions to the backside of Tris's calf, " but you aren't to walk on it until PT gives you the okay. I'll show you how to take off the cast to shower, and how to keep it as a soft cast when you sleep."

"You're going to need to come to physical therapy here a lot, Tris. PT will tell you exactly how much, but I would guess at least every other day, if not, every day. If you go without using your leg, it's just going to weaken and become immobile completely. Now that I am pretty confident your stitches are holding, although they aren't strong, you're ready to build up muscle strength. I'd also like you to come see me every two weeks while I'm PT, because I need to do ultrasounds frequently to make sure your muscles are holding together. It's going to be a busy next few months, but I know you can handle it."

"There isn't any PT places at Dauntless?" I ask.

"Sadly, not yet. Which is frustrating, because all of you over there seem to be who need it most," Julie replies.

I nod.

"I can get you an appointment two days from now, as long as you're not arrested again tomorrow, and you can start and get all the information as to how frequently you'll be going."

Tris nods, seeming to feel better with her leg out of the tight cast.

"How are you? Is the pain a little better?"

"It's getting there."

Marie takes the ice off of her knee and shows her how to put the cast on correctly.

"Thank you." Tris says just before she and Julie leave.

She sits upright on the table how, her right leg dangling, her left resting on the table flat.

She looks distressed.

"I cannot do this every other day," she states.

"Tris we can make this work. I—"

"Tobias, no." She raises her voice. "Not here."

We drive back in silence to Dauntless. Her new cast is black with a tread on the bottom of it and it comes up to just below her knee. It has a bunch of straps all over it.

I unbundle and move to go help her out of the car when she grabs my hand.

"I'm not breaking up with you. God, I can't live without you, Tobias. You're my rock I can't do anything without you."

"That's reassuring...?"

"I can't go back and forth to Dauntless like this every day."

"Well, we can take the train. I could carry you, we can—"

"Tobias," our eyes lock. Tears brim hers. "I was talking to Cara on the phone again yesterday and she offered for me, for us, even Indy if we wanted, to stay with them. You and Indy will stay here, but Tobias, I can't keep going back and forth."

"I'm going with you."

"Tobias, don't do this to me. There is so much going on with New York and Candor getting power crazy and you can't work from Erudite at Caleb and Cara's apartment right now. You have to be here."

"No, I don't."

"Tobias, the second Erudite and Dauntless fall apart, Candor is coming for me. You take a big part in keeping Amity and Abnegation from turning on us and falling into West's control. If you stay back, you're ultimately keeping me out of prison for my innocence."

"Tris, why aren't you willing to make this work?" I raise my voice.

"I'm tired, Tobias! You saw what happened to my leg today. Each trip over and back from here is me not having my leg up. No, I'm not laying on the back seat, no I'm not getting in and out of the car multiple times every day, getting into and out of the compound. Cara and Caleb's apartment is literally in the same area, just a few buildings over from the physical therapy place Tobias."

I don't reply.

I know she's right.
I'm cruel to keep her from going.

"As long as I can visit," is the only reply I can come up with.

"Oh my god Tobias it's not like I'm going to prison, it's my brother's apartment!"

"They could be compared..."

"Stop it!" She smacks my arm. "This is the easiest option I have right now and I think it's the only option I have. Cara said I could move in whenever I want, but I need help packing."

"As long as you're not arrested tomorrow."

"Wouldn't be the first time," she jokes, smiling lightly.

"If this is what you have to do, I support you. Just, come back to me, please."

"It's just until physical therapy isn't so frequent. I can't get injured taking the train over with you every day, Tobias."

"Come on, it's been a long day. Let's go," I get out of the car.

Tomorrow isn't getting any shorter.