When three little girls and one boy decide they want to go to the beach, even though their "Aunt Jena" is leaving for home in just a few hours, there's no one who will deny them that request. Not even Reyna, who isn't exactly ready to say goodbye to her mom. So here they are, all loading up into the car, towels and coolers and beach toys getting shoved into the trunk of Liam Mason's car. And she doesn't even fight Cody when he holds his hands out for the keys, simply placing them in his open palm. And they filled the car with a Disney soundtrack, per Averi's request. Before she knows it, there's a hand placed on her bare thigh and she looks down, grinning and placing her hand on top of it, gently caressing his hand.

"I love you," she says softly, loud enough for him to hear but no one else.

"I love you, too," he says, sending her a grin.

"Eyes on the road!" Keegan calls from the farthest back seat, smirking at his sister and her boyfriend. "Even though you guys are cute as heck."

"So glad it's him and not Reese in the car with us. The girls' ears would be assaulted by his language and screeching," Cody admits, his gaze already back on the road. "He's a little psycho Reydy shipper."

"Reese Maxwell is a blessing to this world, don't disrespect him like that," Reyna says, quirking an eyebrow at him. For a second, he takes her seriously, but then she lets out a laugh and he can't help but join her. "I can't believe you actually thought I was being real. Disrespect him all you want. But he is kinda a blessing."

"Ree is nice!" Abi says, a smile lighting up her face as Reyna turns to look at her little sister. "I miss him."

"Me, too!" Averi exclaims, an adorable smile spreading as she thinks of the blue eyed boy. "We Skype him tonight?"

"Sure," the eldest Mason sister says, a slight giggle escaping her mouth. "He'll probably hide in the school bathroom to talk to us if he has to."

"Oh please," Cody laughs. "He'll talk to us in front of all his classmates. He had no shame."

The rest of the ride is spent joking and talking about Reese, as well as the cats that the couple had left back in California with him. An easy smile covered Reyna's face, her thigh being squeezed by Cody every so often. Eventually, they reach the beach and all the kids file out of car, racing for the sand and the water as soon as the car is parked. The couple watched them bemusedly, grabbing towels and all the towels and the toys, as well as a cooler with snacks and drinks for all six of them.

"This is nice," she says to Cody as they relax on the towels they spread out, watching the kids playing.

"Yeah," he agrees, pressing a kiss to her shoulder, her back pressed against his chest.

And so, for the next hour or so, the kids run around and play. They splash in the water, build sand castles, and bury Abi in the sand. Eventually, they convince Reyna to join them in the water, so she strips down to her bikini and tucks Ameri under her arm, racing out into the water. Cody stays on the shore with Keegan, who actually opens up to and talks to the older boy, telling him how scared he is to lose Averi and how much he genuinely loves all four of his sisters. And so Cody gives him advice and comforts him, then gets up and throws him over his shoulder, carrying him out into the ocean too. There's squeals and laughter from the four young kids before the elder two decide it's time to get out of the water, eat some snacks, and reapply sunscreen.

And once the kids are full and ready to take off for the water again, she lets them go. Averi, on the other hand, crawls into Cody's arms and rests her head on his chest, shutting her eyes and falling asleep easily. Reyna shrugs at him when he makes a comment about how he would be helping her pick up if he could, knowing that Averi being comfortable is more important than him helping her pick up a few wrappers and put them back in the cooler. Then, she joins him on the towels again, pulling her knees up to her chest and staring out at the three kids joyously playing in the water, splashing each other and throwing their heads back to laugh.

That's when it really hits her, when the reality of everything hits her. She realizes that moments like these, where the kids are so genuinely happy and carefree aren't going to last that much longer. It's going to take them all some time to actually recover from losing their sister and that it won't be long until Averi is gone. Before she can stop them, or even really register that it's happening, tears are streaming down her face and she can't breathe, taking in loud gasps of air to try to satiate her need for air.

"Babe?" Cody asks, looking on helplessly, his arms holding her sister.

"I'm not ready," she manages through the sobs, looking over at him.

And so she cries, not just for herself, but for her whole family. For the two little girls who are going to lose their third piece, for the little boy who is going to lose one of his little sisters, for her dad and step-mom who are going to lose one of their babies, for all of Averi's friends who don't really understand what's happening to their friend, for all of the other little kids who are diagnosed with DIPG, even for all of her friends that have done everything they can and more to help the Mason family and support them. It doesn't bother her that Cody can't hold her and comfort her, not as much as it bothers him. She knows this is a long time coming, this crying session, so she doesn't try much to stop it, since she's been the strong one for everyone over the last few weeks, only crying the one time while on the phone with Reese and her mom.

"Na-na," a sleepy voice says, causing her to shift her gaze from the waves crashing on the sand to the blonde toddler crawling into her lap. "Why crying?"

"I just love you," Reyna says, wrapping her arms around her little sister and holding her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

As soon as she's settled in Reyna's lap, arms wrap around the two of them, holding them together. One of Reyna's hands wraps around her boyfriend's bicep [well, as much as it could, because damn his arms are the size of her head], as if he's what's keeping her grounded to the world. With his arms around her and Averi's cool hands rubbing her back softly, she finds herself calming down and becoming more and more grounded to the world. Eventually, the tears have stopped and breathing is easier and she's no longer trembling.

Just as Cody repositions them so that she's between his legs, resting against his chest like she had been doing before they went in the water, the other three kids join them. Their eyes are wide, as if they had witnessed their older sister's breakdown - they had -, and they gather around her. Her gaze shifts from each kid to the next, as if trying to catalog this day and the memory of them in her mind for the rest of her life. Keegan leans forward and rests his cheek on her knee, looking up at her with so much love in his eyes that her heart feels as if it's going to burst.

"I just want you guys to know how much I love you guys," she says, reaching out and stroking Abi's hair. "I know that I tell you guys a lot, but you really do mean the world to me. And trying to imagine a life without you guys there, one where it's just me and Reese, or even just me, actually hurts my heart. If I could get rid of all the bad stuff in the world to protect you guys, I would. I really, really wish I could."

"Love you, too, Rey," Abi says, pressing a kiss to my leg, which causes me to smile adoringly at her. "You're the best."

"You weally are," Ameri nods, reaching out to hold my hand. "We love you, Leyna."

"More than you could imagine," Keegan adds, smiling up at his big sister. "And we know how much you love us, care about us. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"At the beach?" she laughs, smiling lovingly at him.

"No, in Australia," he says firmly, lifting his head and replacing it with his hands to keep himself balanced and keep a physical connection with him. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't care about us and love us. You have a life, a job, friends, all of that back in America. But here you are, with us in Australia, being the strong one. Even though you don't have to be."

"You sound so much like Reese right now," she laments, leaning her head back and resting it on Cody's shoulder.

"Who's ready to head home?" he asks, looking at all of the little ones. "We can stop to get ice cream on the way back."

"Yes!" all the kids chorus together, smiles lighting up their faces.

"Ten more minutes," Reyna offers them, letting go of Averi. "Go play for ten more minutes, then we'll get out of here."

All the kids thank her, pressing kisses to her cheek, before racing off for the water. As soon as they're alone, she twists herself around in his arms, gripping his cheeks in her hands and looking at him lovingly. He smiles down at her, the worry still obvious in his eyes, as he brushes a piece of hair away from her face.

"I love you," she says softly, rubbing her thumb against his skin. "Thank you."

"I love you, too," he replies, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you immensely, as well as your siblings."

"You're the actual best," she admits, pressing her lips against his for a kiss. Said kiss lasts for a few moments, each gripping the other tightly as their lips move in perfect sync. Then she breaks the kiss and rests her forehead on his bare shoulder, trying to steady herself. "I am so beyond grateful for you, Cody Allen Christian."

He doesn't say anything back, he doesn't have to. She knows how much they mean to each other, how much she means to him.

•••

this chapter has been one that was planned from the very beginning and it took me forever to write. it's still not 100% what i pictured, but it shows that reyna isn't always strong and funny and all of that, she's human and she's scared and she loves her sisters [and brothers] so much.

[ 10.2.17 ]