Tony's leg jiggled. His eyes flicked around the darkened car, the road lights flying by while they sped down the highway. He swallowed for what seemed like the fifteenth time. Tony tensed at the sound of Thor's snores. He blinked hard, rubbing his eyes to stop the bone-heavy tiredness he felt. He needed a distraction. The car was too dark and too quiet (no thanks to Thor's snores) and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. His eyes landed on Rogers.

     "Rogers, I thought you lived in Brooklyn," he murmured.

     "Shut up, Stark," he replied.

     "I heard you were born in Brooklyn. Why're headed out to the boonies?" Tony sat up straighter at the sight of a twitch in the guy's eyebrow. "Were you lying?"

     "No. Now shut up," he snapped.

     "But I think I hear a story just waiting to be told," he teased, flashing that million-dollar smile.

     Rogers looked in the rearview mirror. "You're hearing wrong."

     Tony pouted. "Guess I'll need hearing aids like ol' Legolas here, yeah?"

     Rogers's frown deepened and his hands tightened on the wheel. Tony paled. He'd said the wrong thing again. "Look, if you're going to be staying with us for a week we need to get something clear."

     "And what's that, Doc?"

     "I don't like you."

     Tony was thankful for the darkness of night. It hid the hurt on his face. He scowled. "The feeling's mutual," he muttered.

     Rogers switched lanes. "You can save the asshole attitude for New York because in my mother's house you're going to be respectful and polite, or so help me I will strangle you until you look like the Star-Spangled banner: red, white, and blue. Don't make fun of my friends or my family and we won't have a problem. Got it?"

     Tony let his hand drop from covering his neck. "Yeah." He cleared his throat softly. "Yes, Rogers. No making fun of your band of misfits. Understood."

     "Just because you can treat people like trash doesn't mean you have to. Don't get a big head just because you have the most money. Y-You're nothing behind your insults and your jibes. Just a supreme asshole that..." Rogers's eyes widened. He didn't mean to say that out loud. Natasha was going to kill him. His eyes flicked to the kid behind him before his attention was brought to the gaslight. "Damnit," he muttered. "Gas. Hey, uh, could you wake them up? Except for Natasha. Don't touch her."

     Tony slowly unwrapped his arms from around his middle, letting out a small, "Sure."

     He was reaching for Bruce when Rogers turned the wheel into a gas station. The blonde turned in his seat. "I didn't mean to say all that. I just..."

     Tony shrugged. "No big deal. Just some words." Tony smirked. "How'd it feel to trash talk a billionaire? You might never meet another one. That could've been your only chance." Tony tilted his head. "I don't think it was a very good effort."

     Rogers dug his fingers into the vinyl seats. "Sure, whatever."

     Tony turned away from Bruce to face Rogers. He grabbed his shirt sleeve. "No, dish it out. I can take it. Say anything, anything you've ever wanted to say to me. Go on."

     Rogers stared at him then scoffed, looking around the car anxiously. "I'm not doing that. It's cruel."

     "I can take it." Tony raised an eyebrow when Rogers made to turn away. "Fine. I'll start. First off, I don't like you either. You're prissy and have this self-righteous attitude. Oough. You're nobody's god, Roger Rabbit. Just a kid with too many muscles supposedly from Brooklyn even though you have us out here in the middle of who knows where. And I don't like how you have Barnes hanging off of your every word. Almost like he's your-"

     Rogers whirled around, snapping Tony's collar forward so hard he heard a seam pop. His eyes were wide as he looked up at Rogers. "Don't finish that sentence. You know what? I don't just dislike you. I hate people like you."

     "People like me?" Tony asked.

     "People that treat others like they're nothing because they can't accept the fact that they are the ones that are nothing. I'm no god, but you're certainly not a hero. You only care about yourself."

     Tony smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm the only one worth caring about. Everyone else is just in the way. They're nuisances. Always trying to get in my head."

     Rogers brought his lips to his ears. "You're selfish. And you'll be alone if you continue acting like this. When have you done something that wasn't for yourself?" Tony closed his eyes. "Stark, you're nothing to this world."

     Bruce shifted and murmured in his sleep. "Steve? Tony?" He looked around blearily. "What's goin' on? Are you two kissing?"

     Rogers shoved Tony back and he fell against the vinyl seat. Tony grinned at him. "I told you you could do it. All you had to do was say it." Rogers frowned, shame flushing his cheeks. "Do you feel better after letting all of that out? Is that stick out of your ass?"

     Barnes opened his eyes. "Shut up. What time is it?" he growled, voice husky from sleep.

     Tony gulped, turning away to wake up Thor and Clint. Rogers glanced at him then opened the door. "Stopped for gas and a leg stretch. I'm sure someone needs to pee."

     Tony pushed past Bruce, giving up on waking Thor. "I need to piss," he mumbled. He speed-walked toward the store with his head down, eyes trained on his sneakers. He scowled at the ding of the bell, shuffling past the metal shelves filled with junk food. He mentally groaned at the sign, picking up a pack of something and slamming it onto the counter. "I'm buying it. Let me into the bathroom."

     The man behind the counter rang him up and gave him the key. Tony snatched it, leaning against the green door in silence. He deserved that, he thought. He was the one who'd goaded Rogers on. He shouldn't have talked about Barnes like that. He can already imagine what Rogers is telling them. Tony lurched to his feet with a wave of nausea. He emptied his barely full stomach, dry heaving into the dirty toilet bowl for what felt like hours. Tony sank to the grimy floor with shivers wracking his small frame. His head pounded behind his eyes and he pressed a hand to his rapidly tightening chest. He bit clean through his knuckle when a sob tried to rip through his throat. His eyes bulged and his body convulsed, but he made as little sound as possible.

     Tony's eyes rolled up, bringing him to the verge of fainting. But then everything stopped. He could breathe. He could move. Tony slipped his phone out of his pocket to find two messages from Rhodey. He pocketed the device, rinsed his face, and left. He dropped the pack of crackers in the trash. Tony covered up a yawn with a stretch. His legs actually needed that. Being sandwiched by Thor and Bruce left him aching in spots. Tony raised an eyebrow when he climbed into the silent car.

     "What? Is it 'Everyone Prank Tony' day?" Bruce moved over and Tony took his seat, albeit with a bit of confusion creeping into the back of his mind. He clicked his seatbelt into the mechanism, holding back a shiver. He rubbed his left wrist absently. "Okay. I washed my hands if that's what you're wondering."

     "Tony, if you do not stop talking, I am going to personally gut you with a spork," Natasha mumbled from her curled up position. "It will be slow and painful, but I will enjoy it."

     Tony looked around at the others. Everyone was awake besides Thor and Natasha. His eyes landed on Rogers's shoulder. Tony averted his gaze to look outside. The car rolled out of the driveway, bringing them back on the road. Tony clicked away on his phone until his scarce notifications were gone. He traced shapes on the car door and recited equations in his sleep-deprived mind. Tony yawned without bothering to hide it. He leaned harder against the window with his eyes drifting closed. He wouldn't fall asleep. Sleeping around others ensures complete trust. He doesn't trust Barnes as far as he can throw him, and he doesn't want to think about Rogers. But he's tired from his breakdown in the gas station bathroom. Just for a moment, he thought before huffing against the window.

-----

     Tony gaped at the quaint ranch house, his face blank but his heart beating in his ears. It was interesting how much he didn't know about these people. The white paint was chipped and the red roof had a slight dip, but it gave it charm. He kind of liked it. Tony snorted softly, but Barnes still heard. He frowned at Tony with a shake of his head, hoisting the bags to the house silently. Tony scowled and kicked the rock. He couldn't do anything right.

     "Hey, Stark." Tony turned around. His eyes flicked to the purple device behind Clint's ear. "You're bleeding."

     Tony looked down when Clint walked past, heart skipping at the trail of blood pooling at the tip of his finger. He wiped his hand on his jeans then followed Natasha inside. "This is a mistake," he whispered. "It's not too late for me to get a flight."

     "Then book a flight. But don't leave without meeting his mother. It'd be rude." Natasha looked down at him. "Hey, I heard you."

     "Huh?"

     "When you joked about Clint's hearing aid. I'm sure he wouldn't have minded too much, but it's still a sensitive topic to the others. As you've learned, Steve and Bucky can be protective. It wasn't your best choice to joke about that without Clint's consent. Again, I'm sure he wouldn't have cared exactly, he's accepted it, but now you know." Natasha sauntered away before Tony's brain could form a response.

     Tony wrapped his arms around his middle, trudging toward the ranch house with dread. Tony stiffened at the warm glow emanating from the Christmas lights, the wreaths and succulents on the end tables. He stumbled forward in barely concealed awe, wide brown eyes taking in everything. He turned slowly, breath catching in his throat when his eyes landed on the pine tree bowing in the living room. It was huge. Lights and popcorn strings were strewn across the branches, homemade ornaments and storebought alike swaying in the light.

     Tony hadn't realized he was reaching toward an ornament until a soft, "Oh! Please, be careful!" made him freeze up. Tony jumped, spinning around in alarm. His eyes widened at the sight of a frail woman. Her blonde hair was limp over her shoulders and her shoulders sank with an invisible weight. Her blue eyes were wide, a bony hand placed over her heart. Rogers stood behind her with a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She looked identical to Steve and he quickly figured out that this must be his mother. Tony felt a pang of something in his chest at the sight of mother and son.

     The woman walked forward quickly, wrapping her sweater around her tighter. Tony recoiled, paling with each step she took. "I-I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I didn't...It was just really pretty. I didn't mean any harm. I swear. Unless you're religious. Then I mean, I don't swear. I'm sorry. That was rude. I shouldn't have brought religion into this. Sorry. I shouldn't have touched it without asking. I-I'm really sorry, ma'am."

     Tony tensed when she reached toward him, her small hand patting his arm. "It's quite alright. I was just tryin' to warn ye' about the wire." Tony blinked at the subdued accent she had. She pointed at the power cord. "Steve, move that out of the way." Rogers nodded and maneuvered it around the tree. Tony's eyes darted around, flitting from a nearby doorway to the stairs then to the front door. He jumped when she touched him again. "Which one was it?"

     "Excuse me?" he squeaked.

     She smiled and the room seemed to glow. "Which ornament were you looking at, boy?" Tony licked his lips, bringing a trembling hand to a train-shaped ornament. She smiled fondly as she took it down. "Yes. I like this one too. It was my husband's. I got it for him for our first Christmas. He was a soldier, but he loved to collect model train sets in his spare time. I saw this in a window, bought it, and we've put it on the tree since."

     "Uh, the tree is, it's cute. I, um, like it."

     "I do too. I'm lucky to even have it up this year, what with my boys being gone for so long."

     Rogers chuckled where he stood, giving his mother a knowing smile. He kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna head up. It was a long drive."

     "All right. Send Buck down." Tony stiffened. "I wanna get a proper hello from my boy."

     Tony didn't have time to wonder how close Rogers and Barnes were. He needed to leave; he needed some air. The woman patted his shoulder. "I don't think I've met you before. Steve make a new friend?"

     "Not exactly, ma'am," he mumbled.

     "Well, I'm happy to have you here anyway. I'm Sarah, so no more of that 'ma'am' stuff. Got it?"

     "Yes," he muttered. Tony hid a yawn behind his hand.

     "Poor thing. Go on and get some sleep." She pushed him toward the stairs. "Go right up and to the left, I think. Just look for the room with Steve. Shouldn't be too hard. That boy snores like a freight train, but not as bad as that Thor boy. Gosh, I don't need an alarm clock whenever he's over."

     Tony nodded, his eyes flitting to Natasha lurking in the doorway. She greeted Sarah Rogers with Clint at her side, followed by Bruce and Thor. Tony tuned out the warm greetings to focus on finding the room he was directed to. He picked at his cuticles absently while he walked, eyes moving over the pictures and flowers littering the hallway. He stopped at a picture of a large man in a decorated uniform. A kid was on his shoulders and donned the hat Tony assumed finished the uniform. Tony leaned in closer only to jump back when the picture was slammed down.

     He looked up at Rogers and Barnes. Tony swallowed dryly. "Hey, I was looking at that."

     "It's private," Rogers said.

     "It's a picture," Tony deadpanned. "In the hallway. How private can that be?"

     Rogers frowned. "Did Sarah send you up here?" Barnes asked.

     Tony's eyes flicked to him. "Yeah. She told me to get some rest. But some genius decided it would be fine if I joined this fun getaway without any bags."

     Rogers pressed his lips together before reaching for the door to a closet. "Buck, you should head down. She's asking for a proper hello since you brought the bags in."

     Barnes nodded once, his usual cold indifference breaking away into something warmer. Tony didn't know if he liked it. He barely managed to catch the sleeping bag thrown at him. Tony frowned and turned the bag in his hands. "Never seen a sleeping bag, Stark?"

     Tony huffed in lieu of responding. He jerked his chin toward the stairs. "Nice tree."

     Rogers's lip twitched. "Unbelievable," he muttered.

     Tony watched Rogers make a hasty exit down the stairs bemusedly. Tony smirked but it didn't have its usual cockiness to it. He shouldered open the door Rogers came out of. He selected the spot farthest from the door and closest to the window. Tony spread out the sleeping bag then laid on his back. He wasn't even making fun of him this time. He was fascinated with the Christmas tree, one of the many traditions that managed to elude the Stark household.

     Tony turned on his side. He scowled at the low bars on his phone. Of course, Rogers lived in the boonies. And, of course, he didn't have decent cell service. Tony was going home one way or another. The sooner the better. If he's here any longer it's going to be harder to leave, he knows that. With this stupid friend-crush that seemed to always be lurking in his mind, ready to pounce on his heart at the worst times, he needed to get out of here before he breaks down in front of the wrong person. He can see Rogers and Barnes holding it over his head forever. He's already been a mess in front of Natasha and Clint (and now Bruce and Thor), but he knows the humiliation that would come from having a panic attack with Barnes or Rogers nearby or another attack in general. If he didn't die from anxiety it would be the humiliation of it all that would surely kill him.

     Tony drummed his fingers on his stomach. But he liked Sarah. His first encounter with her lasted all of two minutes, but he was already attached. She was nice to him, that was a big reason. If it was his own mother she might've hit his hands (never more than that. It would take too much energy) but Sarah had only wanted to warn him about a wire. Something warm fluttered in Tony's stomach that he couldn't clamp down. He turned away from the door with a smile.

     Maybe he could stay for a few days. Howard wasn't looking for him and his phone didn't have service anyway. There was no way he could buy a ticket out here in the Nowhere Boonies. This would be the plan. He'd stay until they got so fed up with him they couldn't stand to look at him, then he'd buy a ticket straight back to the Manor. Tony tensed when the door opened, multiple pairs of feet shuffling into the room. He focused on the full moon, biting hard on his lip. Goodnights were spread around, but Tony didn't answer in fear he might provoke one of them. He didn't want to butt into anything and get kicked out. He wanted to stay as long as possible. He would be good.

     Goodnight, Tony thought solemnly as he stared at the moon.