Mikey was due to head into rehab the very next day.

At around ten in the morning, the buzzer went to our flat. Noah rolled out of bed to answer it, leaving me to stretch out into his warm spot.

From the comfort of the crisp, white duvet, I had been able to almost forget about the troubles we faced in the outside world. Until I heard Mikey's low, mumbling voice as Noah opened the flat door to him.

Grabbing my dressing gown from the back of the bedroom door and flinging it around my body, I rushed out into the hallway.

"Abi, I'm sorry to just turn up like this," he said, unable to make eye contact with me.

"Are you stupid?" I hissed. "There are press following your every move right now and you just rock up at my house?"

He stayed silent with his head hung low.

"I checked the coast was clear," he said. "There's a car waiting around the corner to take me in, but I wanted to have a chat first."

Placing his hand on my shoulder, Noah angled his body in front of me.

"That's fine," he said, "But this is between you and me, not her."

"Actually, it's Abi I need to talk to," Mikey said, biting the silver lip ring at the side of his mouth.

"Whatever it is, you can say it in front of both of us," Noah said, his voice calm.

"I'd really like to talk to Abi alone for a few minutes," Mikey replied. "Please, mate. Ten minutes, max."

Noah looked at me with a frown. I blinked my eyes closed and nodded.

"I'll be in the shower," he said, nodding back at me before glaring at Mikey. "Ten minutes. No more, no less."

"Cheers, man."

I looked at Mikey in a new light as he stood awkwardly in our hallway. His normal bravado had slipped and he'd clearly had a sleepless night. His jet-black hair stuck up in all directions and his icy blue eyes looked vacant. For a man normally considered somewhat of a sex symbol, strutting across arena stages in tight jeans and eye make-up, he looked like a lost little boy.

My heart felt heavy for him. Whatever had happened in the past, however he'd treated me; he was in for the roughest ride of his life getting clean.

"Come on," I whispered, gesturing him into the front room. "I'll make us some coffee."

By the time I placed two steaming mugs down on the coffee table, a few minutes of Mikey's allocated time slot were already up. Taking a seat next to him, he smiled a fleeting, tight smile up at me. His knee bounced furiously as he rested one elbow on it, and I noticed he had bitten the skin around his thumb red raw while he'd been waiting.

"So..." I began.

"So," he repeated.

Mikey shifted to turn his body towards me. "I owe you an apology. A fucking huge one."

I couldn't stop the exasperated laugh that burst from my mouth.

"Yeah, something like that," I replied, shaking my head.

"I don't have a lot of time to explain right now," he continued as his cheeks flushed pink, "But I have a lot of issues that I need to deal with. I never meant to take them out on you."

"So why did you?" I sipped my drink, tried to ignore the fact it was still far too hot and burning my tongue, and waited silently for his response.

"Jealousy, I suppose."

Mikey's voice was soft as he darted his eyes around room.

"Jealousy?"

He let out a big sigh and twisted his lip ring between his thumb and forefinger.

"You and Noah," he began. "You guys just locked eyes one day and that was it. Instant love."

"There was nothing instant about it," I protested, "Noah and I had to work for what we've got now. We've been through our fair share of shit, you know?"

"I guess so," he replied, "But now, that's it. You're set for life. Just like Alex and Charlotte."

He was still unable to look me in the eyes.

"And?" I urged gently. "You're upset that you haven't found a serious girlfriend yet?"

"Not quite," he mumbled. "I'm just struggling more with the whole you and Noah thing more than I probably should. Ever since I first saw you two together it was obvious."

"What was obvious?"

The way he was looking at anything other than me caused a gnarling in my stomach. His leg continued to bounce frantically as he took a sip of his coffee; maybe it was anxiety at what lay ahead for him, or maybe it was the lack of substances other than caffeine coursing through his veins.

He clasped one hand to his forehead and pushed it back through his hair as he exhaled deeply.

"Obvious I was an idiot to think I might have ever stood a chance."

I didn't know what to say. After all this time, Mikey hadn't hated me. He'd simply been envious of me being with Noah. He'd sat on the sidelines and watched me falling in love with his bandmate, one of his closest friends, and had chosen to show his feelings in the most childish way possible.

Eventually, I found my voice again.

"So, this whole time I thought you hated me, you've just been jealous that I'm with Noah?"

"You changed him, Abi," Mikey sighed, "For the better. Deep down I'm grateful for that, we all are. He was a mess before you. But that doesn't make it any easier to cope with the way I feel about you being with him."

I drew in a deep breath and let it out again slowly. Placing my hand on his back, I could feel his bony frame trembling against my palm.

"Look," I said softly. "I had no idea that you felt like this, and I'm sorry I didn't spot the signs earlier. I'm flattered, but Noah is everything to me. Once you get out of rehab I'd love it if we can try to be friends, proper friends, but nothing more."

Mikey looked up at me with a pained expression.

"Abi-"

"Don't," I whispered, closing my eyes. "It all makes sense now, I just wish you'd been a bit nicer to me about the whole thing. If I'd known how you felt I wouldn't have thought you just hated me for no reason."

He shifted forward on the sofa, causing my hand to drop from his back. "I don't think you understand," he said, dropping his head as he rubbed his temples.

I followed his lead and shuffled forward to sit parallel with him. Dipping my head, I tried to make eye contact under the thick black hair that had fallen across his eyes.

"I understand," I smiled. "All this time I felt like some outsider who just strolled in and snatched Noah away from you guys, but that was never the real issue."

Finally catching his eye, I could see an almost invisible shimmer of tears pricking through their frosty blue surface. Like a frozen lake, finally beginning to thaw.

Mikey jumped up from the sofa and turned to stand facing me. Rubbing his hands over his face, he let out a groan.

"No, you don't understand," he said, his voice showing the faintest signs of cracking. "I'm not jealous of you and Noah because I'm secretly in love with you."

"Then what the hell was all that about?"

On the opposite side of the room, Noah's silhouette emerged from the bathroom into the hallway almost in slow motion. Tipping his head to one side, he wiggled his finger in his ear shaking out the last drops of shower water as he padded silently into the living room wrapped in a white towel.

Just in time for Mikey to finish his statement.

"I'm gay for God's sake, Abi," he laughed in exasperation. "I've been in love with Noah since the day I met him."

As we collapsed into bed late on Saturday night, the events of that morning already seemed a world away.

Wrapping an arm around my neck and pulling me in close, Noah breathed in deeply against the back of my hair.

"What a fucking day," he groaned, as the breath rushed back out of his chest.

"Yeah," I whispered, "I'm still absolutely mortified."

Noah let out a deep, rumbling laugh, his chest vibrating against my back.

"Oh Abigail," he teased, "You really must stop thinking the whole world wants to get in your pants. I'm the icon in this relationship, remember."

"Icon my ass," I hissed, jabbing my elbow lightly into his stomach.

"No wonder Mikey's been acting so weird though," he continued, lightly running a finger up and down my arm. "Poor guy."

"Looks like you're not the only one that's been keeping secrets," I sighed.

"I mean, I swear I've seen him going back to his room with girls before," Noah continued.

I could picture the confused crinkle forming on his forehead as we lay there in the dark and it sent a pang through me.

"Maybe he's been trying to hide who he really is from everyone," I said. "Even himself."

"Sounds like it."

After a couple of minutes' silence, Noah whispered again. "I had no fucking idea."

I rolled over to face him and tucked my head under his chin, as we lay side-by-side.

"I know."

"I think I handled it alright though, don't you think?"

The image of Noah wrapping Mikey in a huge bear hug as he left the flat flashed back into my mind.

"You handled it perfectly," I whispered, smiling to myself.

Noah placed a lingering kiss on top of my head before burying his cheek deeper into his pillow and letting out a long sigh.

As his breaths slowed and steadied into the first welcome haze of sleep, I lay watching his chest rise and fall in the amber glow of the streetlight that cut through a gap in the curtains. If anyone knew anything about keeping secrets and living in a world of hidden identities, it was Noah.

But, if anyone knew how to empathise with people in turmoil, how to make them feel loved, valid, and worthwhile when they may be feeling the exact opposite, Noah was also the man for the job.

Things weren't going to be easy by any means. After leaving them to have a heart-to-heart in private, both Noah and Mikey's eyes had looked red when I finally rejoined them in the living room to say goodbye. To my surprise, Mikey had stepped forward to hug me without any awkwardness. In fact, the sheer relief was almost tangible in the way he pressed his hands flat against my back and rested his chin on my shoulder.

As he'd held me tight, he'd spoken quietly into my ear.

"Thank you for understanding. I'm so sorry I treated you the way I did."

"It's okay," I replied, "I'll be here if you need a friend when you get out."

As he slipped out of the side door and into the waiting car, Noah and I watched him go from the kitchen window. Who knew how long he'd be shut away? Who knew what kind of physical and emotional pain he was going to go through?

The only thing I did know is that I'd meant what I said. In love with my boyfriend or not, Mikey would need his friends to make it through.

And I would be one of them.