*breathes heavily* Okay, Today i'm talking about crushes and ME, Myself will try to be honest JUST for now.

I will tell you who my crush is (Our teacher told us that crush means idol so...No harm right?)

Well...First of all, I have a fake crush when I was kinder, I don't even know the meaning of crush when I was kinder, BUT! The teacher told me the meaning when I looked into my fake crush's eyes and my teacher noticed it and asked me "Who is your crush?" If I was a kid, I would be surprised and thought that our teacher is using some idiomatic words, Yeah, I'm so dumb when I was 5, And yeah my teacher asked me that I said "What is the meaning of crush?"

She said "This is where you like a person or you feel very excited to talk to a person you dont know what you feel." Yeah, I still remember those words...Since Kinder and you know what? I dont  understand a thing becoz im just 5 years old back then, Yup...You can say that, I'm too young to go kinder but...Isn't that great???

And yeah, His name is Gav, I wondered now that my feelings is playing with me, It is being fishy to me and i'm felling for it or more like falling for it...Almost...So close.

So! Let's go back now, My feelings for Gav is not even real and I just realize it just when I was in 4th grade, And I rememberd something when I was in 2nd Grade *mentally facepalmed* I confessed to a guy named Gerard and this is so stupid to say... I write 'I love you' on a ¼ sheet of paper and showed it to him and his reactions are the same! Urgh, I must be so stupid...Remembering my past memories making me stupid and dumb before and mostly people saying this when they remember their memories 'Shit, I should have...' or 'I can't take it' whatsoever.

And yeah, Im feeling like that now = _ =

And my crush when I was in 4th grade was named Aron James, Well...He wasn't really just my crush, It was like... He feel what I feel BUT we never talked to each other EXCEPT that time when he told me 'I love you' to me BUT only in text, My Friend Kim told me about this and I feel like... WE BOTH FEEL THE SAME WAY, But... Right now...I ended up being... you know...

</3

It was the first emotional moment that happened in my entire life.I never felt this way.It feels like there is a sharp pain inside my heart and it feels like everytime I take my breathe out a knife is dagging inside my heart.Why does it hurt so much? Even though I have forgotten his face...It still hurts... Do I still care about it? If No...Why am I still crying? Crying is for pain right? If I am crying on pain...Why would I cry because of this? Why would I cry if I don't have anymore feelings for him? I never understand...

Avril was right on her song 'Wish You Were Here' "You're always there, You're everywhere but right now I wish you were here' It feels like almost all Avril's songs are related to mine...I faked a smiled...I faked a laugh..., And the thing that I regretted is... Why didn't I did it when I was just there? If only I talked to him, This wouldn't be bad...This won't happen...But I need to leave the next day of that...So...What's the point of talking to him? It'll send me more heartbreaks...

[Sorry for sending you this long chapter...]

Okay...Let's go back...

When I was in 5th grade, I got a crush that has a same manners as my ex-crush's manners...Except that he is cute...There....I started to like everything cute because of that guy... His name is Elan Samuel, He is cute...And nobody could ever imagine...I don't know what I feel before but now? I only feel that...We are only... Best friends

And now the last... His name is Sean Longboy, A foreigner name am I right? Well, He is not...He is just the same as me...He is my crush eversince we were together (On the first day of school when I was in 5th grade I crush-at-first-sight on him and I am planning to tell people to stop teasing him like 'Shaun the Sheep' 'Shanmpoo' whatsoever But yeah, We were not together when it was 2nd day of school becoz he actually leave becoz they were bullying Sean Pshh) Ano yeah, I met Sean and he is still my classmate until now, If Sean is reading this now he will be shock as hell.I don't know *shrugs*

-----

So that will be my kawaii nekos

~Kawaiiah-Kouhai