In which 4chan fools the Internet.

Ahh, the rake. The good old...classic...rake. Okay, I knew nothing about this cryptid before starting this chapter. Thanks to the above user for requesting this one!

Now, this creature is a bit tricky to talk about in the usual context of my chapters. This is because we have direct proof that the rake is a fictional concept created on none other than 4chan, the website where good people go to die. And, apparently, where cryptids are created.

Because of this, I'm going to write about the creation of the cryptid in this initial section. I'm then going to go on to write the rest of the chapter's sections in my normal context. Keep in mind that, starting at "TIMELINE", everything has definitive proof of being fake or fabricated (with the exception of the "POSSIBLE HISTORICAL SOURCE" section).

In late 2005, on 4chan's /b/ board, an anonymous user posted a simple challenge: "hey /b/ lets make a new monster." This would spiral into the creature we know today as the rake. Many people put forth their ideas but one post stood out. You can read more about the description this poster suggested in the "DESCRIPTION" section of this chapter.

One of the earliest appearances of the rake in actual story format was on the personal blog of Brian Somerville on July 20, 2006. (Fun fact, this was a day after my brother was born!) This story about the rake was the first in a series Somerville entitled "Horror Theater," but Somerville did not make it clear whether the rake was his personal creation or if it was a repost. It would later become clear, of course, but since the rake has always been a shared monster, it doesn't bother me that he didn't credit the original creator. There wasn't really one, after all.

The story of the rake went on to become a copypasta that was then shared around the internet. Over time, people forgot (or never knew in the first place) that the rake was a 4chan fabrication, and the creature became a cryptid and an urban legend in its own right!

This is exactly why I find cryptids so fascinating. People are so willing to pass around scary stories and believe the worst of the world, even if it means heavily suspending all logical thought, that they will start believing in a story that started as a goofy, collaborative project on an Internet message board. A seemingly innocuous post started an urban legend that is now over a decade old and has only grown in strength. That, in my oh-so-humble opinion, is hella cool.

Keep in mind throughout this chapter that none of the sightings happened. Nothing of this story is real. Personally, I'm inclined to believe none of these cryptids are ever real, but I know some readers might feel differently. For this chapter, I invite you to join me in the realm of nonbelievers who still get a kick out of these stories.

I present to you...the rake.

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TIMELINE

12th century -- the first description of the rake is recorded

1691 -- the first sighting of the rake is recorded

1880 -- a Spanish journal entry speaks of repeatedy seeing the rake

1964 -- a man's suicide is attributed to the psychological damage afflicted by the rake

Summer 2003 -- the rake terrorizes upstate New York (and Idaho)

[2005 -- the rake is actually created]

2006 -- a creepypasta is written about the rake

November 10, 2010 -- the famous picture begins to circulate

2017 -- three Texan teens see the creature

2018 -- a Canadian woman records the rake

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LOCATION

Northeastern United States (specifically upstate New York)

Greater Austin area, Texas

Canada

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DESCRIPTION

The rake is a humanoid male that is usually seen hunched over. When practicing good posture, this beastie stands at six feet tall. Because of its weird-ass appearance, the rake is usually described as being a hairless dog or a naked man by witnesses unwilling to admit the truth. Its mouth is full of small, nub-like teeth. It is hairless and has no ears or nose.

This strange cryptid gets its name from the rake-like claws it sports on each hand. (Apparently, it took the 4chan users a while to settle on this name. Before that, names such as "Operation Crawler" were thrown around instead. I have to say, I agree with their final name choice!)

The rake's eyes are a point of contention across the Internet. Now, it is widely believed and supported that the rake has hollow black eyes. However, in the original 4chan message board, one user compiled the description they had thus far, and the creature at that time had three green eyes: one in the center of its forehead, one on the left side of its head, and one on its right. I'm not sure if the 4chan members later changed the description of the monster or if people outside of the community took creative liberties once the urban legend got leaked. Things get more confusing when you realize that most of the fanart, falsified videos, and Photoshopped pictures of the rake show the creature as having bright white or red eyes.

Unless provoked, the rake will usually just stand and watch people. They frequent suburban neighborhoods, specifically front yards.

The rake, a strong and terrifyingly fast creature, is said to be extremely violent and brutal but is silent during its powerful attacks. That makes it even scarier, IMO. It relies on its big ol' claws to slice and dice people to death, usually while they're sleeping. (Small mercies, I guess.)

One source claimed that the rake occasionally "reproduces" with a human victim but I don't see why it would have to, since most other sources state that there has only ever been one rake throughout human history and that the rake is immortal. This singular source said that the rake reproduces basically by French kissing the selected victim. While locked in this deep, assumedly nonconsensual kiss, the rake releases an elongated cylinder into their throats. We can only assume that after this, the poor, poor victim gives birth to a hideous rake baby, "Alien"-style. (Go watch that movie if you haven't already.)

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FIRST SIGHTING

The first description of the creature was in the 12th century, but its first recorded sighting was in 1691, when a mariner's log mentioned it by name. Yeah, this thing is OLD.

"He came to me in my sleep. From the foot of my bed I felt a sensation. He took everything. We must return to England. We shall not return here again at the request of the Rake."

So...creepy as hell. I wonder what the mariner meant by "he took everything." After all, he was obviously still alive to write the log. If we're being pedantic, the rake didn't take everything.

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FOLLOWING SIGHTINGS

Creepy journal

A Spanish journal entry was discovered, dated 1880, that mentions the rake. Now, the rake isn't mentioned by name in this journal like it was in the mariner's log, but the description of the creature matches that of the rake.

"I have experienced the greatest terror. I have experienced the greatest terror. I have experienced the greatest terror. I see his eyes when I close mine. They are hollow. Black. They saw me and pierced me. His wet hand. I will not sleep. His voice"

This is the only part of the journal entry that is readable. Some unintelligible text follows.

Now, potential psychosis aside, doesn't this match the description of basically every monster that goes bump in the night? Terrifying, hollow black eyes, piercing stare...wet hands. Okay, I can't explain that last one, but the other three characteristics are so cliche.

Suicide note

In 1964, a man took his own life because of repeated encounters in the rake. He detailed these encounters in his suicide note, claiming that he was fearful the rake was going to start tormenting him mercilessly. It sounds like this man was already tormented mercilessly, but that's beside the point.

You can read the note at the "Know Your Meme" posting listed at the bottom of this chapter.

New York sightings

In 2003, sightings of the creature throughout the northeastern United States began to stir up media coverage. There was a one-off sighting in Idaho, but the majority of sightings were in upstate New York, where nothing else interesting has ever happened. (Sorry, upstate New York. I've heard you're beautifully boring.)

Data compilation

In 2006, an organization formed that was dedicated to tracking down every mention of the rake ever recorded. They found reports of rake sightings dating back to the 12th century, as I mentioned earlier. Because of this, as the story goes, the U.S. government ordered a media blackout regarding the rake, resulting in a dying down of news stories and public interest. Many accounts of and data on the rake were then destroyed or mysteriously vanished.

Texas teens

In 2017, three teenage girls in a community right outside of Austin, Texas saw a strange creature in the forest near one of their houses. Their description of this creature matched that of the rake and they said it walked hunched over. One of them thought at first that it was a tall man who was crouched over and wearing a cloak, but later, that girl's eyes turned pitch black, just like the rake's.

The second girl thought it was a wendigo (read my chapter on that particular cryptid-not-cryptid for more info) while the third later convinced herself it had only been a bush. It seems that neither of these girls met the same dark-eyed fate as their friend, for reasons unknown.

Eventually,  one of the girls found a video of a rake sighting and the group realized they had seen a rake that fateful day. And, to answer the question I know we all have, I have no idea whether or not that girl's eyes went back to normal.

Poor, poor moose

In 2018, factual and totally trustworthy news source "The Daily Express" posted a web article about a creature that had been filmed stalking a moose. The creature matches the description of the rake, although the video was filmed in Canada, and the article also claims that the rake is a Canadian. I mean, if you're going to write a news story trying to make a fictional character seem real, the least you can do is do the basic amount of research on that creature to find out that it's American. Do better, "Daily Express." (In general, too, not just with this article.)

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POSSIBLE HISTORICAL SOURCE

H.P. Lovecraft

One source claimed this cryptid and its creation might have been inspired by the otherworldly nightmares Lovecraft was and is so well known for. Personally, I think the rake is a little too concrete and easy to describe to be classified alongside Lovecraftian horrors, but I can understand how those old horror stories might have inspired this one.

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MAJOR MEDIA APPEARANCES

Creepypasta 1

Now, some people might not classify creepypastas as being major pieces of media. Those people are cowards and are simply incorrect. I am right, and they are wrong.

Bryan Sommerville, as I mentioned earlier, wrote a creepypasta for his personal blog. In his story, the rake was described as being a human born into a small community that had been exiled into the wilderness by the larger community. They were forced to eat one another to survive and during this period of horror and suffering, the rake quickly matured into adulthood. It soon became clear that the rake was no longer human. It now had animalistic qualities and human intelligence -- a combination that would prove to be deadly for all of its later victims.

Creepypasta 2

I won't detail the entire events of the rake's 2006 creepypasta for you. The creepypasta is included in the "Know Your Meme" post listed down below. Just keep in mind that -- spoiler alert, if you really care about a creepypasta that's well over a decade old -- it features violence towards children.

"Resistance 3"

Now, I'm sure many of you have seen the picture attached in the header of this chapter. Maybe you never knew it was connected to the rake. Maybe you knew it was purportedly the rake and thought it was just some good Photoshopping. In actuality, that photo is taken from the video game "Resistance 3." People took this image and circulated it as being a real photo captured of the rake. This hoax garnered so much popularity that the picture was even circulated on major news stations before the truth was revealed. That's some good advertising right there.

"The Rake Creature"

This creatively named feature-length film was released in 2014. The description is terribly written and if the IMDb page is anything to go off of, nobody has ever watched this film. I'll Venmo $10 to anyone who will find this movie for me. I'm being dead serious.

"Rake"

In 2015, a 14-minute short horror film was released that centered around seven college graduates being terrorized in the desert by the rake. Judging by the ratings, the short film was okay, but nothing to write home about.

"The Rake"

In 2018, another feature-length film was released following two siblings as they reunite to explore the murder of their parents at the hands of the rake. It was received extremely poorly and I think maybe it's time to stop making movies about the rake.

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 MEME

Art credit: teethcake on Tumblr

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FURTHER READING

"Based on a True Story," theculturecrush.com

"The Rake," knowyourmeme.com