In which someone knows how to name a damn cryptid.

What do Ghengis Khan's grave and the Ozark Howler have in common? They are both being kept hush-hush by a secret sect of the government so that the citizens won't rebel! At least, that's what some crazy bloggers claim.

Well, okay. Let's take a step back. This cryptid is a little confusing - it has the cryptozoology community divided into two halves. The first half believes that the cryptid is a hoax. Chad Arment, the author of the book Cryptozoology, claims that he and several other cryptozoologists were sent identical emails "warning" them of the Ozark Howler and that the emails were traced back to a student at the University of Arkansas who had bet a friend that he could fool the cryptozoology community.

Luckily, another cryptozoologist by the name of Loren Coleman confirmed Arment's claims, although the fact persists that stories of strange wild cats have been told in the region for decades, captured in written records that far predate either man.

The other half points out that sightings of the Howler have existed for decades if not centuries, but these sources very rarely have any sort of proof or cited sources for more recent sightings. Because of this, I'm inclined to believe that the Ozark Howler is a hoax that manages to closely match up with several folk tales in the areas about large, cat-like monsters. After all, big cats in the woods freak people out, so it makes sense that a few poorly placed cougars would spawn some pretty scary stories.

TIMELINE

Early 1800s - Daniel Boon witnesses the Ozark Howler

1905-1908 - President Theodore Roosevelt supposedly constructs a forest for the Ozark Howler to roam free

1930s - Tales of the Ozark Howler is published

1973 - The Hair of the Black Howler is published

July 2012 - "Haunted Highway" premiers an episode on the Ozark Howler

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LOCATIONS

Arkansas (specifically Newton County)

Missouri

Oklahoma

Texas

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DESCRIPTION

Alternate names for the Ozark Howler include the Ozark Black Howler, the Hoo-Hoo, the Nightshade Bear, and the Devil Cat. Nightshade Bear is my personal favorite following Ozark Howler, although Hoo-Hoo makes me giggle like a child.

This absolute STUD of a cryptid is said to have a body reminiscent of a large cat (even larger than a cougar), black shaggy hair all over, glowing red eyes (cliche), and prominent horns. One source claim that it looks more like a bear than a cat due to its monstrous size. It does have a tail, but the jury is out on whether that tail is long or short.

It apparently releases a cry that is some horrifying Frankenstein of a wolf's howl, an eagle's bugle (awesome name for a cry, btw), and a hyena's laugh. (Damn terrifying hyenas...I'm glad the cryptid community recognizes how horrifying they are.) The laugh is the thing most people can agree on, but which specific animal noises make up that laugh is more uncertain.

Now, take all of this with a grain of salt. Apparently one thing that makes this cryptid difficult to understand is the conflicting sightings. Some people claim it looks more like a cat, others claim it looks more like a bear. How obvious its demonic nature is, is also up for debate - to some people, it looks like simply a big cat. To others, it's a creature straight from the pits of hell.

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FIRST SIGHTING

It's not confirmed where the cryptid was first sighted. Legend has it that Daniel Boone, famed frontiersman and explorer, had a run-in with the creature in the early 1800s in Missouri, although that's about all there is to that story. 

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FOLLOWING SIGHTINGS

1905-1908

There is an entire conspiracy theory that Teddy Roosevelt was involved in the national coverup of the Ozark Howler. He apparently gained interest for the creature and joined a secret society dedicated to hiding it, named - I promise I am telling you the truth - the Concatenated Order of Hoo-Hoo. He used federal funds to construct a forest for the Howler to roam in, a forest that citizens weren't allowed in. Google it - it's a deep and entertaining conspiracy theory that's in no way true, but it's a good way to kill a half-hour!

Early 1980s

A truck driver saw a creature he later described as a large cat, giving more credit to the idea that the cryptid stalking the woods looked like a cougar. This was around the time that people decided that the Ozark Howler resembled a large cat instead of a bear, presumably because of this truck driver.

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POSSIBLE HISTORICAL SOURCE

The Dark Dog of Death (aka the Black Dog and the Black Dog of Death)

Love me some alliteration. The Dark Dog of Death is a legend from the British Isles that involves a large, dog-like creature that serves as an omen of bad fortune. Some people think that its myth traveled to America with the immigrants and took on new life as the Ozark Howler.

Wild cats (specifically cougars)

As I've mentioned a couple of times, most reasonable people assume that people see cougars in the woods and conflate these sightings into something more sinister.

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MAJOR MEDIA APPEARANCES

This bad boy has had a TON of books written about him. Notable literary works inspired by our furry friend include:

  - Tales of the Ozark Howler, a collection of folklore

 - Ozark Superstitions by Vance Randolph, where he named the creature "Hoo Hoo" for reasons we may never know

 - The Hair of the Black Howler by Timothy Godwin, a short sci-fi story inspired by the legend

 - Hunt the Ozark Howler, a children's novel

 - Billy Bob's Howler, a children's novel with the stupidest-named protagonist ever

 - The Mason Dixon series by Eric R. Asher

 - Ozark Howler by K.W. Peery

 - Ozark Howler Verse by Rufus Grey

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MEME

This is supposed to be a serious picture, suggested to be the most recent image of the Ozark Howler, but I mean, come on. This is a shoddy Photoshop job at best. Did they even do their research on what the Howler's supposed to look like?!

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FURTHER READING

"The Teddy Roosevelt Ozark Howler Conspiracy," ozarkhowler.net