In which we recognize New Jersey's crackhead energy.

The only real encounter I've had with this funky lad is on the online game Poptropica - but then, you can look under major media appearances for more about the best online game to ever grace the face of the Earth.

Also, I've typed "goat-man" one too many times for this article and now need to go rewatch a certain Buzzfeed Unsolved episode...

It's been one sentence and I've already gotten sidetracked from the point of this article. We're off to a great start!

TIMELINE

1687 - Daniel Leeds begins publishing his paganistic almanac

1720 - Daniel Leeds dies

1735 - Mother Leeds gives birth to the Jersey Devil/a young girl and her child are cursed by townsfolk/a young girl is cursed by a gypsy

18th and 19th centuries - sporadic sightings are reported

January 16-23, 1909 - mysterious footprints appear in Delaware Valley

1973 - "The Legend of Boggy Creek" is released

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LOCATIONS

Leeds Point, New Jersey

The Pine Barrows, New Jersey (and surrounding towns/villages)

Delaware Valley, New Jersey (specifically Camden and Philadelphia)

Bristol, Pennsylvania

Burlington, Delaware

West Collingswood, New Jersey

Millville, Delaware

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DESCRIPTION

FIRST DESCRIPTION

Sometimes called "The Phantom of the Pines" or the "Leeds Devil," the Jersey Devil is a goat-man hybrid with leathery wings and glowing red eyes. Horns grace its (probably weirdly shaped) skull and talon-like claws extend from its fingertips.

The whole horror is wrapped up neatly in furry, feathery skin and the creature also lets out unearthly shrieks pretty randomly. So that's fun.

DETAILED DESCRIPTION

More recent descriptions all seem to agree on the following depiction of our beastly friend.

The Devil has the body of a kangaroo, the head of a dog, and the face of the horse, along with the antlers of a deer and a forked, reptilian tail. He also sports cloven, devil-like hooves. This depiction of him keeps the aforementioned wings and talons.

Shoutout to www.atlantic-county.org for giving me the best line about a cryptid I have read thus far: "And he is reputed to have had a ham and egg breakfast with a Republican – Judge French. But the Devil is not known to have specific political leanings."

You heard it here first, folks. The Jersey Devil is an Independent.

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FIRST SIGHTING

This story has become more like a myth than like an urban legend, but the creature itself has seemed to maintain a cryptid status, so for the "first sighting," we'll be talking about the origin of the monster, the myth, the legend. To see what parts of this story are rooted in cold, hard fact, check out the "possible historical source" section (specifically, "Daniel Leeds")!

VERSION ONE

In 1735, a woman by the name of Mother Leeds had twelve children and a deadbeat drunkard of a husband. The poor lady felt so hopeless after realizing that she was pregnant a thirteenth time, she supposedly cried out, "Let this one be a devil!"

Seems like a strange thing to shout out - I personally would select a few delectable swear words - but whatever floated her boat, I guess.

But, children, before we go any further, let's discuss the foolishness of Mother Leeds, shall we? First off, this was her thirteenth child. We all know that thirteen is a scientifically spooky number!

Although some accounts claim that Mother Leeds was a witch, so maybe she brought this upon herself...but really, a witch should know not to throw around hexes near her own womb. That's just irresponsible witching.

Second off, it was the freaking 1700s! She of all poor, dumb, probably very religious colonists should have known not to just shout out things like that! But, alas, she did - and the Jersey Devil was born.

Imagine you are a poor mother of twelve, knowing your husband will be no help with any of them ever, and on the day when the blasted baby finally pops out...he immediately starts transforming into a hideous goat-human hybrid.

Unfortunately for Mother Leeds - well, okay, let's be honest, fortunately at this point - the grotesque monster instantly killed her, the midwives, her good-for-nothing husband, and as many siblings as he could get his claws on, before fleeing into the night, beginning its reign of terror on South Jersey, of all places.*

(Fun fact: apparently North Jersey is a lot friendlier to the New Jersey Devil. Now, I've never been to New Jersey or met anyone from there, but I would assume this difference in viewpoints is based on the fact that North and South Jersey hate each other. It's the only logical explanation.)

VERSION 2

A young girl living in a town called Leeds Point fell in love with a British soldier. Her townsfolk, patriotic and very stupid Americans, didn't like her getting it on with a British dude, so they cursed her. I don't know how a whole town curses a girl, but I'll take it with a grain of salt, seeing as this is the backstory for a goat-man hybrid.

It's not clear whether or not the demonic child she gave birth to was the British dude's son, but, like, imagine if it wasn't. Imagine you're some red-blooded American guy, marrying this girl with a bit of a shameful past. You find out she's pregnant, you get all excited...and a freaking goat pops out. Poor dude.

VERSION 3

A young girl was passing a begging gypsy woman who asked her for food. Frightened by the woman's homelessness, apparently, the girl refused, and the gypsy cursed her as a result. The girl got pregnant, gave birth, it was a goat. Same old, same old.

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FOLLOWING SIGHTINGS 

WITH A MERMAID

Supposedly, the Jersey Devil was seen "cavorting with a mermaid" in 1870. This is one of the shortest and least supported sightings but I want you all to share the mental image of a hellish goat-man hanging out with a graceful, gorgeous mermaid. A real "Beauty and the Beast" story if you ask me."

DELAWARE VALLEY

The Jersey Devil began leaving footprints in the various towns and cities in Delaware Valley. What makes this sighting oh-so-special is that prominent citizens and law enforcement also saw these strange tracks.

Newspapers had a field day and freaked everyone the hell out.

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POSSIBLE HISTORICAL SOURCE

DANIEL LEEDS

This is the most likely origin of the story. However, nothing is really confirmed, since people before 1900 were very bad at keeping good records, especially on something like the origins of scary stories.

We should count ourselves lucky that creepypastas have a publishing date, or future urban legend would be just as confused.

Daniel Leeds was an Englishman who moved to America to try his luck in the new world. His second wife died giving birth to their daughter, starting a string of bad luck for the man that we don't have time to get fully into.

He, at some point after his second wife's death, acquired some land that would later become Leeds Point - the supposed pinnacle of the Jersey Devil myth.

He was also sort of crazy. When he started an almanac, readers reported that Leeds used inappropriate language as well as astrological signs, which were considered blasphemous in the Quaker religion at the time.

His beliefs started developing further as people spoke out against his work until he could be called a Christian occultist, although not one dabbling in black magic, thank God. However, he got crazier and crazier, eventually being accused of stuff like necromancy by people as influential as Benjamin Franklin.

History is wild, man. Did you know Andrew Jackson once beat a man so bad that his own bodyguards had to pull him off the guy? Now you do.

Back to the Devil!

There were rumors that several of Leed's children (born of later wives) had mental disabilities, but they were kept at his home and people didn't understand mental disabilities back then, so people really just thought that meant the kids had been cursed by God or something and he was trying to hide their shame.

It didn't help that his family crest sported dragons with leathery wings. It was all just setting him up for failure, in my opinion.

The Leeds Devil was slowly born out of all of this - Quakers hating him for his heretical thinking, Leeds himself going off the rails, influential people like Benjamin Franklin speaking out against him. While many accounts say that the Jersey Devil was a common myth, no written version of it exists until 1909, giving it plenty of time to stew in angry Quaker gossip circles.

Some sources claim that Mother Leeds was Leed's mother (who would have thought), meaning that he was the cursed thirteenth child. The timelines on this one don't add up, though, seeing as Leeds died before Mother Leeds supposedly gave birth to him. Think about that for a while, I dare you.

When I die, somebody start a cryptid legend about me. I don't care what it is. I just want my legacy to be a cryptid, okay?

THE CHRISTIAN DEVIL

Yup! Good ol' Satan himself might have inspired the Jersey Devil. Some people say the Jersey Devil works for him, and the similarities can't be ignored - the original Devil is often described as having cloven hooves and a forked tail.

DINOSAURS

When the scientific community was approached about the Devil - I cannot believe I just typed out that sentence. Before we continue, I want to make something clear. The "scientific community" back in the 18th and 19th centuries was pretty much five guys sharing maybe three brain cells, which was considerably better than the general population, which just had the one.

Anyway, the scientists at the Smithsonian Museum decided that the Jersey Devil was probably a dinosaur that had just been hanging out in a cave somewhere since the whole unfortunate meteor thing. Fellow cryptid lovers might recognize this belief as being the same one commonly held about the Loch Ness Monster, the difference being that back when this theory was formed, everyone was very, very stupid. Even scientists.

SANDY HILL CRANE

You're actually gonna see this guy appear in a later chapter. I'm not even joking. Two separate cryptids might just be sandy hill cranes trying to live their best lives.

So guys, before you go around accusing innocent animals of being cryptids, maybe familiarize yourself with the local wildlife first. (Read: stop accusing sandy hill cranes.)

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MAJOR MEDIA APPEARANCES

NEW JERSEY DEVILS

The New Jersey Devils, based out of Newark, New Jersey, are a National Hockey League team. They originally hailed from Kansas City, Missouri as the Kansas City Scouts, but were, like, given or gifted or sold to New Jersey. I don't know how sports work.

They get their name from the popular legend of the Jersey Devil.

"THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK"

This...is confusing. This movie, from what I can see, has nothing to do with the Jersey Devil. Instead, it has everything to do with another cryptid, the Fouke Monster (you'll see him in an earlier chapter).

But two different websites claim that this movie is all about the Jersey Devil.

This movie has nothing to do with the Jersey Devil. It's not even set in one of the Devil's states!

I'm including it because of how many people seem to erroneously believe that this movie is about the Jersey Devil. It's still a movie about a cryptid, so I'm not telling you to not watch it, but it isn't about this cryptid.

POPTROPICA

In the popular online game Poptropica, a problem-solving, level-based game for children, the Jersey Devil makes an appearance. He shows up on the Cryptids Island (go figure).

This was my childhood and my love for the game will be seen in my reflected meme.

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MEME

Top-tier cringe, probably made by some ten-year-old, from a freaking website called Meme Net, I absolutely would have laughed at this as a child.

Also, people, make more Jersey Devil memes. Or, at least, more memes about the cryptid itself and not the hockey team. 'Kay thanks.

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FURTHER READING

"The Jersey Devil," www.weirdnj.com

"Daniel Reeds," www.owlcation.com

"Jersey Devil - Fact or Fiction?" www.atlantic-county.org

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*Some accounts hold that the Devil didn't immediately murder everyone and was instead trapped in the cellar until it escaped through the chimney. They're all very, very sure that it was through the chimney.