106. Curse

"Sui read the journal?" I gaped in surprise, "But it's written completely in English! How did she-"

Speaking all of a sudden with a wounded throat made me choke and then I was just stuck coughing for a long while.

Irie flinched back in surprise at the sudden voice but panicked when I started choking. Reaching for the jug of water by my bedside, he poured me a glass and handed it to me.

"F-For the time being," he suggested, "I think you should calm down... your doctor told you, if you continue to strain your voice..."

Irie stopped talking, but my mind finished the sentence.

I'll lose my voice forever.

Shaking my head out of the thought, I sighed. 

Maybe Amano said that to scare me into keeping quiet. After all the shouting I did yesterday, Kuma was really angry, after all.

Thinking back to what happened yesterday, I internally cringed.

Anyways! I wrote quickly, Sui?

"Oh-" he quickly reacted, "apparently she made a friend on the internet that helped her with difficult words here and there."

My stomach fell. My eyes turned to Reborn on instinct, but Reborn shook his head. Not him, it seems.

Did that person read it too?

"Sui told me she didn't tell the guy specifics!" Irie clarified quickly, "but she was really shocked to find things out."

Well yeah, I wasn't bloody expecting her to read it already!

"Did you," I spoke up again, softly this time, "Did you read it too?"

Irie froze for a second-- and his gaze shot aside. That told me everything I needed to know. He had read it too. And he knew it all too.

"I didn't!" Irie spluttered in a panic, "But Sui told me about it. She told me a lot of details, u untilt he moment I deliver a package to the Sawada Household."

Sending a package-- that was before the battles of the Shimon Arc, weren't they? So he hasn't read about the curse yet? 

Eyeing Irie again, I felt he seemed sincere.

And thus, I believed him.

Thanks for telling me, Irie. I'll leave Sui in your hands.

-

"Your vision isn't back yet?" Amano lifted his head in concern.

Rubbing my eyes in discomfort, I made a hum in response. "Blurry now and then," I spoke hushed, my throat hurting if I spoke any louder, "dark."

With Reborn on my lap, and for now, I was well enough to sit up by myself now. I've been writing for a while, so the aches in my arms have stopped. My feet though-- walking again is going to be tough.

"We're keeping you here for another few months, you hear?" Amano warned, "The only reason you're alive at all is due to Reborn and Ryohei, after all."

Hehh...

Wait what does Reborn and Ryohei have to do with-

"Ryohei nursed you back to health with sun flames, he insisted. I helped a little." Reborn spoke up easily, despite the fact that Amano was right in front of us and listening.

"Well that makes sense," I sighed. Leaning back onto the backrest, I groaned in resignation. "What next, are you gonna tell me Amano-sensei's part of the Mafia?" 

"Very close." Reborn answered, unfazed, "Your father is. And Amano here grew up with your father, so he's indirectly linked due to their childhood interactions."

"What?"

"Yuuichirou's pretty infamous, y'know? He's an information broker apparently 3rd most wanted in the world." Amano told Rei. He was nonchalantly writing up a Rei's medical report. "Oh wait, wasn't supposed to say that. Nevermind."

"My dad's a bloody information broker?" I had to repeat in disbelief, "Well yes, he's always gone; his main workplace is Italy; he's gone for ages at a time; he gets called around the world for apparent emergencies; his phone never connects; and he's somehow good with disguise makeup; but seriously?"

"Rei, if you noticed that much, figure it out sooner." Amano couldn't help the retort.

"Are you actually an idiot?" Reborn chimed with a smile.

Realizing they were painfully correctly, I winced at my own stupidity. Pouting, I looked away. Arms crossing at my chest, I looked away.

"How was I supposed to know?" I whined under my breath, "You don't exactly just think one day that hey maybe my dad's in the freakin' Mafia," rolling my eyes in sarcasm.

"Even though you act like a know-it-all all the time?" Reborn didn't miss a beat.

"Reborn!" I was on the verge of tears.

-

"Wait, what did you just say?" Trying to bloody eat without an appetite, I lifted my head in surprise. "Dad came back?"

"Yeah," Takeshi replied, eating the apple I didn't want to eat, "About a few days ago and after staying a day, he said he was going to the hospital to see you."

"Yeah, saw him." Kuma agreed, drinking the orange juice I said I wanted, "You weren't awake though. He came to see your face and left right after."

That irked me.

"What the hell's with him?" I pointed my fork at Kuma, "He being chased or something?"

Kuma shrugged, "He was with Amano, so I don't know."

Oh well. Dad came back, but left before I could see him again. It was kinda lonely to think about-- but thinking about how our last conversation was a one-sided quarrel, it'd be kinda awkward. Maybe-- just maybe, I was a bit glad I didn't see him just yet. 

I'll have to think up a reply before he comes back next.

Forcing another forkful of meat down my throat, I rolled my eyes and leaned to the side on my arm. "Greeeat," I mumbled, "Last time I ever saw him was before Future Arc."

"Arc?" Takeshi piped up, "Oh, that whole future fiasco?"

"Come to think of it," Reborn lifted his head, "You never told us how you even knew all of this. You didn't mention it at all."

Stuffing a veggie in my mouth, I chewed. "It's not important," I tried,  "You wouldn't wanna know, Reborn."

There was silence as they eyed me with unending curiousity.

"...Is it something I can tease Tsuna with?" Reborn suggested.

That made me think. Leaning back, I hummed-- How would Tsuna react if he knew he was the main character of a shounen manga that still reigns as an classic and old mainstream? Well, it's not up there on Naruto and Fairy Tail's level, but it's still a classic.

...to be honest, I wonder what his reaction would be.

Would he just faint from shock? Scream in frustration? Hide in a hole? Burst into red? Try to kill himself? Stand shocked and in utter disbelief?

"Yeah, Tsuna would be pretty surprised." I summed it up. "But you would too, in a bad way."

In interest, Reborn jumps closer to me. "I'd like to hear it."

"Sorry," I decided, stuffing an egg into my mouth, "My mouth's," and a spoonful of rice-- "Full."

At that, Reborn took his gun out and shot two bullets, lead bullets, I reckon from the sound of the shot, past either side of my face.

Flinching, I swallowed.

Even Takeshi was too appalled to speak.

Kuma picked up a call on his phone. "Oh, Amano?" he spoke through the awkward silence, "Nah, 'twas nothin'." and he hung up. Crossing his arms, he calmly looked back to the show.

With a sigh, I craned my neck to the side, signalling Reborn to get up to my shoulder. 

Softly as I could, I whispered into his ear.

The next I knew the gun was on my temple.

"Don't blame meee!" I whined, arms raising in surrender.

-

Hospital Nights are quite lonely, that was the cliche.

But perhaps due to a habit my personal doctor practices, I spend hospital nights aware while I sleep. Aware, for the sound of the door quietly crunching open in the middle of the night.

He sits down on the couch on my bedside, and clicks the nightlight.

I smelled a hint of chocolate-- a warm drink he brought in for himself.

With a sigh, I mumble, "What this time?"

Kunomasu sighs. "Just a little talk. Heart-to-heart?"

I wasn't in the strength to push myself up, so I simply inched closer. "Sure."

It happens a lot, Kuma coming to my room just to talk to me. Perhaps, in this story, it is a cliche as well, simply to set a tone. But I guess it doesn't really matter at this point.

"I've heard a lot of stories, fantasies-- myths and urban beliefs about what you claim to have." he told me, "Memories of a past life."

Oh, that's what it's about this time.

No one ever brought it up after I told them. It was like a farce they were making, trying to pretend nothing ever happened. Gokudera spoke to me just once more-- but after that he showed no signs of returning with interest in the topic. 

No one was brave enough to carve into this sensitive topic.

"Yeah," my simple reply, "Do you believe me?"

"Well, you've never lied to me." Kuma chuckled. "But I'm curious. Who were you?"

"You have no tact, do you?" I couldn't resist a little laugh.

Ruffling my hair, I felt myself calm. It was a nice, fatherly feeling, casual and affectionate . 

"I was a girl," I smiled, "I was eighteen,"

"So you're, mentally, speaking... my age??" he gasped.

That made me laugh. "Who knows?" I joked, "I'm not sure either. Fifteen years ago, I was her. Up until a few months ago-- I thought I was still her."

Sipping on his hot chocolate, he listens quietly.

"I'm not quite sure at this point." I told him. "She left many things behind-- but all those things have become burdens to me. Burdens I fail to let go of."

With a sigh-- I felt myself wanting to cry again.

So I curled my lips into a smile and hoped that would stop the tears.

"It's just very-- frustrating." I mumbled, "It's not fair. There was so much she could do-- but now she can't do it anymore. So why is she still here?"

Why couldn't she pass on?

"She's there, and she speaks to me. She's there, I can touch her. I know she's still there." I admitted, "She's like a spirit. A ghost. Not quite haunting me as watching over."

"Rei," Kuma spoke up, putting a hand over Rei's eyes, "you're young."

Huh? What's he talking about?

"Young, and you don't need to think so much about this." Kuma told me. "Young, and you don't deserve to shoulder all of this on your own."

Kuma stood up, and sat down on the bed.

"Why don't you talk to her?" Kuma said, "it's about time, don't you think, Rei?" 

About time...?

"I'm not trying to be harsh," he promised, "but I think it's time for you to forgive and forget." 

That made me freeze. My fists clenched. A pain rose in my chest-- but I knew this was what I deserved. The words I needed. The push I'd been unconsciously longing for--

"You can't keep running from it, Rei. You shouldn't go on wallowing in circles." Kuma spoke softly. He wasn't speaking in a commanding tone-- it was a softspoken, gentle tone he used on patients-- "Don't you think you should finally take that one step out into the better view?"