SHOWING LOUDRIX AROUND MY HOME proved to be a task more difficult than I'd expected. As I showed him every room and answered his questions about random items scattered around, I gradually became bored and in desperate need of a cup of coffee.

The alien followed me around like a lost puppy, eyes darting around as if he were on a sugar rush. The more he spoke, I noticed the more he became, well ... normal. Normal-er, I should have said. His speech seemed to become less cocky, almost as if he were settling into a new home. Which of course, he was not.

I couldn't provide for an alien and his unusual and no doubt desperate needs.

It was probably illegal what I was doing, but then again it was ever so thrilling. Almost like helping a fugitive. I welcomed it, the adventure, the new and God forbid, the illegal.

I was definitely screwed.

"Ahh!" The distressed cry came from Loudrix. I turned to find him pressed against the wall, his chest heaving. "I am perfectly alright," he gasped. "I just saw myself in that reflective surface."

"The mirror? You serious?" I laughed as I shook my head. "C'mere."

He did, inching into the centre of the room.

"Is this your sleeping chamber?" he asked as he pressed his hand into the duvet on my bed.

I nodded. "Bedroom," I corrected. "Any questions about anything in here?"

The alien looked around, his finger slowly raising as he kept his eyes peeled for something strange. He found the hair-dryer. "Is that some kind of laser weapon?"

"It's for drying your hair."

He looked at me as if I were crazy. "Why would you need to dry your hair with that?"

I gaped at him as if he'd grown another head. Though, considering the fact he was an alien, the idea of him having two heads would be perfectly normal. "After we wash, our hair is wet and in need of drying. Please tell me you aliens wash yourselves?"

He nodded. "Of course we do but we have automatic drying systems. Not puny, little gun-like machines," he said as he picked it up and inspected it closely. "Like these, for example. Pathetic."

"Shut up," I told him. "I'm trying to help you and familiarise you with the human world. God knows how long you're stuck here for. Especially since this space-ship of yours is lost somewhere."

"It is not lost," he said. "I'll know it's location when I'm near enough to it."

"Yeah, and being near enough to it could mean travelling for ages until you get to it. How the hell can someone lose a bloody space-ship?"

"Rather easily, especially when taking into account all the things I've gone through in the last few days."

I was curious. What exactly was he talking about? I took a seat on the bed and gestured for him to do the same, which he did, rather slowly.

"Tell me about it?" I asked as he gave me a reluctant glance. It was almost as if he were royalty - was he? - and everything he considered lower class was to be frowned upon.

"I usually don't share a lot of my personal life with strangers but I shall make one exception here. Simply because I am stuck on this planet of the time being. However, do not expect much more from me, Earthling. You do not need to know everything that I do."

"Alright," I told him with a nod. "At least tell me how you managed to land on Earth and about your ship?"

He glanced down at his lap and frowned, almost as if he were choosing his words carefully.

"I'm a scientist. You call it scientists here, I presume?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm a scientist. My profession involves experimentation, exploration and testing theories. I had several projects and one of those happened to be based on extra life in the universe."

"I thought you said experimentation was barbaric?"

"Yes, on other living things unless necessary. For example, my kind experimenting you or your kind experimenting on my people."

"Ah," I muttered, intrigued by his words. "Go on."

"Naturally, the only way to test the theory was to go out and explore the many planets in the solar system for conclusive evidence. Of course, word had got out that Earth happened to be populated with creatures known as humans and so, that was the first place my crew and I headed. It fascinated me, and others. The simple idea of not being alone in the world. Intriguing.

"However, not everyone liked my research and there were those who tried to dismiss the fact that my team and I had proof - proof that there were other habituated planets. You see, we're all about peace in Junito. We love each other and protect one another from demise. Many of those who sit on our council with our leaders don't want the rest of the Junites to know about you humans. We all - well, most of us - want world peace and communications with other beings in the universe would be a step forward. The majority of Junito would want to contact the humans. But those who don't want that to happen will do anything in their power to put a stop to it."

I tried my best to take in everything he was saying. It was all so much and so very interesting. I wondered what it was like on Jupiter - Junito, in his case - and what his people were like. Certainly they seemed like nothing we'd all seen in the movies, where aliens were dangerous and known for abduction. They were gentle and curious it seemed.

"OK, so you're telling me that these council members tried to stop you from sharing the human proof with the others on Jupit - Junito?" I asked and when he nodded, I continued with, "So, how does this lead to you ending up here?"

"We went out on a second expedition to gather more proof of life on Earth. But my crew and I didn't know that some of the council members - the ones who were protesting against my research ad ideas - had managed to sneak on board. They waited until the precise moment to get me alone and when they did, I was forced into an emergency capsule. Once I was locked inside I realised who they were and I tried to contact the rest of the crew but before I knew it, they launched the capsule from the mother ship. And so ... here I am."

My mouth was hanging open most of the time, partly shocked and partly confused. So much information to take in and so much grief I felt for the poor alien before me. He was truly harmless, a victim of a bully. If his people were as kind and respectful as he claimed, why would there be those so bent on removing him from the picture?

"Oh, my God," I muttered. "So, the basically tried to kill you?"

He nodded. "Yes. But they were not aware of the safety device installed within the capsule. The control panel luckily worked well after many years of not being used. I steered myself towards Earth, knowing that the life forms there would be helpful. I was too far from home to turn back in that direction. Eventually, after days of travel I hit the planet atmosphere at such a speed that the ship almost caved in on itself."

I thought for a moment. In all of the space related movies I'd seen, objects such as meteorites, rocket parts or alien ships almost seemed to erupt into flames due to speed when falling. Perhaps that was what caused the bright light over Hoveton a couple days before? It had to be.

"And you landed on the planet about twenty-four hours later?" I asked, going by his sudden arrival in my back garden.

He nodded. "I had to eject from the ship before it made contact with the earth. The capsules have never been tested for land collision, so I had no idea if the ship would implode or remain whole. Unfortunately, it remained intact."

"Unfortunately?" I asked.

"If I had not left my ship last minute, I'd still be inside a fully functional escape vessel. Meaning, I could have left immediately and returned home. But because I didn't do that, my ship has landed somewhere on this planet and I do not know where. Therefore, I am stuck here."

"Oh," I said, realising he was correct. "Well, don't you have a locator chip or something in the capsule that helps you find it? In fact, it should be easy to find - a big, strange piece of machinery lying somewhere on the planet."

I was surprised when Loudrix laughed. "It's not going to be found by a random person. It can only be found by a Junite. Over the years we have managed to create shield work for all of our ships and vessels. They have the ability to blend in with their surroundings. So, no one will find it apart from me. I'll be able to sense it when I'm near. It's camouflaged."

"Well, that's just great," I sarcastically said. "Big bloody ship and it's fucking invisible."

"It simply carried out what my own body did upon landing on the planet - it morphed to fit in with the surroundings. It's a survival method."

"So, what exactly do you look like?" I asked him, giving him a look over. He was pretty attractive as it was, and I wasn't particularly sure I wanted to think of him as a little green man with large eyes and long fingers.

"Quite different," he stated. "You'll see soon enough, no doubt."

"No little details?" I practically begged.

He sighed. "Blue, smaller with long fingers and large round eyes."

"Jesus, you're like something from a James Cameron movie," I said, "but smaller. You're already pretty small as it is..."

Anger flashed in his eyes and he stood up from the bed, a scowl set in his brow. "How dare you insult me once again? I believe you should treat visitors with respect and kindness like us Junites do back home!"

"Alien, listen to me - you were the rudest little shit to me when you woke up here," I said. "Don't give me that bollocks."

He shrugged. "Well, ever since I was thrown off of my own ship and expedition by some lowlifes, I find it very hard to be nice lately. Can you imagine the rage I am feeling? It's coursing through my veins at an immense speed and I so hope that you will not re-enact the horrors I have faced over the last couple of days!"

I remained silent, unsure how to respond. It wasn't everyday that I heard a story quite the same and I had no idea how to help - if I could help, that was.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "This is just a lot for me to take in."

"For you?! I'm on a foreign planet with no ship, no connections and no clue where to start. You seem just as clueless as I."

He crossed his arms over his chest and let out a sigh. I wanted to copy his actions because he was correct - all my ideas would only prove fruitless. How the hell was I supposed to help an alien get back home? It wasn't like any of the movies would help, most of them were set on space-ships or cities.

I was just a citizen in a tiny sea-side town.

"If you were to find your ship," I started, "would that mean you'd be able to just get up and leave?"

He nodded. "Indeed. The only problem is - if I return, there will be those who try to rid me before I can pass on the news of life here to our leader."

"So you're almost like a fugitive?" I asked and he frowned at me. "Like, you're a wanted person?"

"Oh," he muttered with a nod. "Yes. I guess I am."

"Ah," I said. "That's a bit of a bugger then."

"A bit of a bugger?" Loudrix asked.

"Just ... like... Nevermind. It's a shame I meant. Like, it sucks that you're wanted dead pretty much."

"It sure is," he agreed. "I do not want to die. It's sad, is it not? That people want to kill me because I've made a scientific breakthrough and discovered what could possibly be the greatest thing for Junito and its inhabitants. You see, we're eventually going to run out of necessities. Every planet dies eventually. It is extremely unfortunate that Junito only has an estimated eight-hundred years left before our people start to die off."

It wouldn't have been fair for me to tell him that I knew what it felt like because truthfully, I didn't. There were always rumours and estimations going round about when the Earth would die. There were also hundreds of ways people believed it would be destroyed; the sun would expand and swallow the entire planet, major decrease in all the necessary things needed to survive, a flood, a drought and the list went on. The idea of living on a dying planet was scary and for Loudrix to be so passionate and desperate made made my heart ache for him.

I wanted to help him, I knew that much. And so, knowing fully well that it could mean the end not only for the alien, but for myself, I would to the best of my ability help him to get home.

"If your people need to know that we exist so much, why didn't you just tell them when you gathered your first piece of evidence?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm intrigued by new things. I wanted more, conclusive proof."

"Yeah," I said. "So, basically if your people knew about us, you would try and contact us and make peace? Yeah?"

"Ideally," Loudrix confirmed. "It would be wonderful if we could unite in some way. Obviously the mixed feelings about the subject are disastrous."

"Yeah..." I trailed off. "How about I make you a deal? It could benefit the both of us."

Loudrix looked towards me with a confused expression. Perhaps he was considering the idea of throwing it back in my face before I had even told him what I wanted. It wasn't too much, I didn't think. However, it was up to him. I only hoped I could gain his trust and I could also trust him.

"Proceed," he told me.

I nodded and said, "I will help you get home and present the proof of life here to your leader but I want a little something in return."

He raised a brow and muttered a surprised, "Oh?"

I took a deep breath as I told him, "I want you to use me as your proof."

Thank you for reading! x
Alien joke: How do you organise a space party? You planet! 
Cazza