i stared at the ceiling blankly.
"peej?"
"what do you want, phil? it's 3am?"
"y'know daniel?"
"yeah."
"does he have something against me?"
"he's always like this with new people, trust me. don't lose sleep over it, phil"
pj rolled over and hugged me, but I immediately jumped up, "pj? what the fuck?" he stared at me.
"what?" he whispered, putting his hand on my knee.
"fuck off, okay!?!" i shouted, picking my stuff up, "piss off, peej, i'm not gay?"
"i know you are, though, phil! i'm not stupid!"
"what the fuck, peej? i'm not.. where would you get that from?"
"you kissed chris, ages ago."
"yeah. ages ago and we were both high."
"wait, what?"
"don't worry, but seriously, i am not gay and even if i was, it wouldn't be with you." and with that, i left.
that night, i couldn't sleep, but it wasn't because of daniel. it was because of pj. i mean, i was gay. i just didn't want to admit it. after listening to people saying stuff to me like:
"y'know, phil, if you are gay, you can tell me."
"you are gay, phil. just tell me for god sake."
it kinda put me off telling people, especially pj. i knew he liked boys, but i thought he liked daniel. obviously not.
-
i was walking round the block and i bumped into him- alien kid. daniel. i pulled my hood up and looked at my shoes. my coat had the smell of pj's house- the strangely comforting smell of my best friend.
"oh my goodness, phil! are you alright?" he shouted, running over to me. daniel pulled me into a giant bear hug, which made me pull in my tears. i nodded at him, but it was too late. the tears came rolling down my face and the more he hugged me, the more the tears came.
"what happened, phil?" he asked me, holding my hand. he squeezed my hand and suddenly, i felt at home. i felt safe with daniel- alien boy. more safe than pj and his comforting smell of his house.
i think i am a little bit in love with alien boy.