[10] Etiquette 101: Don't Talk During Funerals
{The Body, Part III/The Flea and the Acrobat, Part I}
Alice didn't have a chance to find Eleven and the boys after going downtown, because when she got home, her mom was waiting for her.
"Mom? What are you doing home early?" Alice asked, praying she didn't get grounded.
"My house showing ended early," Mrs. Henderson said, crossing her arms. "And I come home to an empty house and no note! Where have you been? I've been calling everyone trying to find you and Dusty."
"Sorry we scared you," Alice said, lowering her head. "I, uh..." She looked her mom in the eyes. "I rode my bike to RadioShack to get new batteries for my walkie-talkie."
That was such a lame excuse, but Alice delivered it so confidently, Mrs. Henderson bought it.
"Okay, well, where's Dusty?"
"He, um..." Alice looked all around the room for inspiration. She saw one of her textbooks sitting on the coffee table.
"He decided to go to school. They're holding a memorial assembly for Will."
Mrs. Henderson nodded.
"Yes," Mrs. Henderson said, running a hand through her hair. "I know it's hard for you and your brother. The funeral is tomorrow morning at 11. Are you going to be okay to go?"
"Yeah," Alice said, "I'll go with you. I owe Jonathan Byers a casserole."
"What's that?"
Alice shook her head before ducking into the kitchen for a snack.
"Eh, nothing."
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Alice spent the rest of the afternoon in her room, reading through her mom's old health and wellness magazines to see if she found anything interesting that could help her understand her case.
When Dustin got home later that afternoon, Alice grabbed him by the ear and dragged him into her room.
"Ow ow ow!"
"Sorry, but I need to show you something." Alice said. She shut the door and locked it.
"What's wrong?" Dustin asked. "You're acting like more of a freak than usual."
Alice grabbed a thumbtack from her bulletin board. She held it up to the light.
"This is what's wrong."
To Dustin's horror, she opened up her palm and jabbed the thumbtack into her skin.
"Alice!" he shouted. "What the hell—"
"Be quiet," Alice hissed. "Watch this—geez, I hope this works—"
She pulled the thumbtack out of her hand, and the wound it had made slowly began closing itself. The bleeding began to stop. Dustin watched in awe as his sister's hand healed itself.
A splatter of blood from her nosebleed fell and hit the white rug, leaving a stain that would be near impossible to get out.
"Alice, you—you're like Eleven!" Dustin whispered.
Alice nodded.
"I know," she said, wiping her nosebleed.
"But that means, the bad men might be after you too!"
Oh shit. Alice hadn't thought of that.
"Well, they probably don't know who I am," Alice said coolly. "If they knew who I was, or what kind of power I had, they would've found me by now, don't you think?"
Dustin pondered this.
"Yeah, I guess," he said. He grinned. "Whoa, this is so cool. My sister has superpowers! How do they work?"
"That's what I don't know," Alice said. She held up her palm and eyed it with disdain. "It seems to just happen naturally. And I can heal other people, too. Like the other night with Barb—"
Before she could finish, Dustin snatched the thumbtack and stabbed his own hand. He yelped, and said, "Go on, fix me!"
"Dustin!" Alice hissed, yanking the thumbtack out of his hand and holding it. Slowly, he felt his hand warm up ever so slightly. He was transfixed as he watched the mark on his hand fade away, the same way Alice's had.
"This is mental," Dustin said, beaming.
"Don't do that shit again," Alice warned him.
"Don't do what?"
"Don't hurt yourself on purpose so I'll fix you!"
Dustin rolled his eyes.
"Come on, Alice," he said. "I'm fine! You healed me!"
Alice sucked in a deep breath. She didn't know how to explain her feelings about this situation.
"Okay, whatever. Listen, tomorrow an ad is going out in The Post so I can try to find my birth parents. I don't want Mom getting the paper and seeing that, so distract her at breakfast before the funeral. Got it?"
"Got it!" Dustin said. He held up his hand for a high-five, and Alice reciprocated the gesture.
"You can count on me," Dustin continued. "Aw, man, wait until the others hear about this! We'll have so much to catch Will up on. I know you still don't think he's alive, but he is. He's in someplace called the Upside Down—actually, it's a lot to explain, I'll tell you all about it later."
He gave her a thumbs up and unlocked and opened her door, heading to his own room to feed his turtle, Yertle. And to think of a badass superhero name for his big sister.
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"Alice? Almost ready?"
Mrs. Henderson knocked on her bedroom door and opened it a crack. Alice was standing in front of her mirror, frowning at her reflection. She was wearing a black dress—her least favorite dress, because she only wore it for funerals. She was also wearing a heart-shaped locket, a gift from Nana Henderson.
"Yeah, mom," Alice mumbled. "Almost ready."
Her mom turned to leave, and Alice said, "Could you close the door?"
"Of course, sweetie."
Mrs. Henderson closed the door gently, and when she was gone, Alice jumped into motion. She grabbed the morning paper out from under her mattress and flipped through until she got to page 4A—the page with the want ads.
There it was, printed in black and white; the ad she had written. It felt weird seeing it printed and published. Alice hoped it would bring about some good luck, and answers.
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The ride to the cemetery was long.
Dustin—who had done an excellent job distracting their mother this morning with fake tears, so Alice could sneak onto the porch and get the morning paper—was acting too chipper for someone supposedly in mourning. When Alice glared at him in the rearview mirror, he picked up on her signal.
"Oh, I'm so distressed," Dustin said, with the tone of an amateur actor in a bad community theater.
"I'm so sorry Dusty," Mrs. Henderson said, reaching back to pat his knee. "Don't worry, Will's in a better place now."
"Not really," Dustin muttered, and Alice wondered if this had to do with the Upside Down he had mentioned last night.
The funeral service passed by in a blur. It reminded Alice too much of her dad's funeral.
"Check it out," she heard Dustin whisper to Mike and Lucas. "Wait until we tell Will Jennifer Hayes was crying at his funeral."
Alice flicked Dustin on the back of the head, and whispered, "Shut it."
"Sorry," he mumbled back.
After everyone threw yellow roses into the grave, they lined up to give their condolences to Joyce Byers and her estranged husband, Lonnie. Lonnie was eating up the attention, but Joyce looked numb.
After she, her mom, and Dustin shook Lonnie's hand and gave Joyce hugs, Alice felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned and saw it was Nancy.
"Nancy!" Alice said. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, are you okay?" Nancy asked. "You said you burned your hand yesterday."
"Oh, that," Alice said, glancing to the side. "I'm fine, really."
She readjusted her winter gloves and tried not to feel guilty for lying to Nancy. Okay, so she wasn't lying, but she was telling some massive mistruths.
"Listen," Nancy whispered, "Jonathan and I saw something weird in one of the pictures he took. Some sort of faceless monster. We think it took Barb."
Alice raised her eyebrows.
"Wow," she said with an awkward laugh. "This has escalated quickly."
"Will you come with us?" Nancy asked urgently.
"Wait, come where?"
"Follow me," Nancy murmured, grabbing Alice's arm and leading her behind a gravestone. Jonathan was waiting behind it.
"Jonathan, you know Alice."
Jonathan nodded.
"Ye-yeah. Hi again."
"Hi," Alice said. "I'm so sorry, again—"
"It's fine." Jonathan said. "Nancy and I think Will is alive."
Alice raised an eyebrow.
"Really?" she asked. Was everyone in Hawkins off their rockers?
"I know it sounds crazy," Nancy explained, "but look."
The three teens crouched behind a gravestone, and Jonathan handed Alice a photograph. It was the one of Barb sitting on the diving board. In the right corner, a faceless creature stood menacingly, waiting.
"That's what I heard!" Alice exclaimed. "When we were there that night, I heard a low growl."
Her mind raced back to that fateful night. If she had stayed with Barb, would the girl be safe and sound right now? Or would Alice be missing too?
"This is freaky," she added, shuddering.
"You can say that again," Jonathan said. "But, look at this. It gets weirder."
He pulled a map out of his jacket pocket. X's marked where the mysterious creature had been spotted.
"This is where we know for sure it's been, right?" Nancy asked.
"So that's—"
"Steve's house."
"And that's the woods where they found Will's bike, and that's my house," Jonathan said, pointing to the other two X's.
"It's all so close!" Alice said. "I mean, it's all within a mile or something."
"Whatever this thing is," Jonathan said, "it's not traveling far."
Before they could continue their discussion, Dustin appeared out of nowhere.
"Alice!" He said, surprised. "Why are you three hiding behind this tombstone?"
"We're discussing our plans for world domination," Alice said. "It starts by crashing the stock market. Right, guys?"
"Right," Jonathan said awkwardly. "That's what we're doing."
"Al, I need you!" Dustin said, grabbing her arm and dragging her towards the church meeting room, where the post-funeral brunch was happening.
"I guess I'll see you guys later," Alice called apologetically to Nancy and Jonathan. They shared a look before charging toward the parking lot.
When they got to the brunch, Dustin pulled Alice to a table in the back where Lucas and Mike were sitting. He fished a thumbtack out of his pocket and handed it to Alice.
"Okay, do the trick," he said, smiling.
"No!" Alice said. "It's not a party trick. It's—a weird condition."
"Condition?" Lucas said, narrowing his eyes.
"C'mon Al, just show them," Dustin pressed.
"Fine," Alice mumbled. She took the thumbtack and stabbed her hand, ignoring Mike and Lucas's cries of protest. Her hand healed itself as quickly as it had yesterday, and the boys stared at her, shocked.
She wiped a nosebleed away.
"Ta-da," she said sarcastically.
"You're like El!" Mike said, in shock.
"I know."
Lucas shook his head in disbelief.
"That's so...insane!" he sputtered. "I—"
"There's Mr. Clarke," Mike said, interrupting. "Let's go ask him about the gate."
"The gate?" Alice asked curiously, following them.
"Mr. Clarke?" Mike asked, approaching the middle school science teacher as he stood by the food table.
"Oh, hey there," Mr. Clarke said. "How are you kids holding up?"
"We're in mourning," Lucas said, pretending to be sad.
Dustin, who had discovered the snacks, shook his head.
"Man, these aren't real Nilla Wafers."
Alice elbowed him to shut up while Mike said, "We were wondering if you had time to talk? We have some questions."
"A lot of questions," Alice added, giving Mike a look, because she still had no clue what 'the gate' was.
The boys, Alice, and Mr. Clarke settled at a table in the church. The boys began grilling Mr. Clarke about alternate dimensions and parallel universes, but Alice had trouble keeping up. It was all too confusing for her. She preferred mutants and superheroes over the multiverse.
She tuned back in when she heard them mention of "the Vale of Shadows." That was from Dorks and Dragons, the game they were obsessed with.
"An echo of the material plane," Mr. Clarke said, describing the Vale of Shadows, "where necrotic and shadow magic—"
"Yeah, exactly," Mike interrupted. "If that did exist, a place like the Vale of Shadows, how would we travel there? Theoretically."
Mr. Clarke grabbed a paper plate from the table and pulled a pen from his jacket pocket.
"Well," he began, "picture an acrobat standing on a tightrope."
He sketched a stick figure acrobat and a tightrope on the plate.
"Now, the tightrope is our dimension. And our dimension has rules. You can move forwards, or backwards."
Mr. Clarke drew two arrows, pointing forwards and backwards from the acrobat.
"But, what if right next to our acrobat, there is a flea?"
He sketched a tiny flea.
"Now, the flea can also travel back and forth, just like the acrobat, right?"
"Right," Alice said, intrigued.
"Here's where things get really interesting," Mr. Clarke said, officially in geek mode. "The flea can also travel this way along the side of the rope. He can even go underneath the rope."
"Upside down," the three boys all said in unison.
"Exactly," Mr. Clarke said, satisfied with his explanation.
"But, we're not the flea," Mike said, furrowing his brow. "We're the acrobat."
"In this metaphor," Mr. Clarke said, "yes, we're the acrobat."
"So, we can't go upside down?" Mike asked.
"No."
Alice's mind was reeling. She also was stubborn, and didn't like the sound of the word "no."
"Well, is there any way for the acrobat to get to the Upside Down?" Alice asked, leaning forward in her chair.
Mr. Clarke grinned at her. "I'm glad to see you're still up for opening curiosity doors, years after being in my class! Yes, but you'd have to create a massive amount of energy. More than humans are currently capable of creating, mind you, to open up some kind of tear in time and space, and then you create a doorway."
"Like, a gate?" Dustin asked.
"Sure, like a gate," Mr. Clarke said. "But, again, this is all—"
"Theoretical," Mike finished for him. "But, what if this gate already existed?"
Mr. Clarke chuckled.
"Well, if it did, I think we'd know." He capped his pen. "It would disrupt gravity, the magnetic field, our environment. Heck, it might even swallow us up whole."
Alice gulped.
"Science is neat," Mr. Clarke continued, "But I'm afraid it's not very forgiving."
"Thank you, Mr. Clarke," Mike said, standing suddenly. "Come on, guys. Let's go, um, cry some more."
"Thank you," the other three chorused, following Mike to the back of the room.
"Okay, we need to go explain this to Eleven," Mike said. "Alice, you need to come with us. We might need you."
Lucas rolled his eyes. "He means, we might need your abilities. So we're offering you Two-Time-Only party access."
Alice thought of the paper ad, and the calls she might be missing.
"Oh, um—"
"Don't flake on us now!" Dustin begged. "Come on, you can help us. And Mom wants us to stick together, remember?"
Alice relented.
"Fine, okay, let's go. I need to change, though. If we're going on a curiosity voyage, I don't want to be wearing a dress and heels."
"Meet us back at my house," Mike instructed. "The basement door will be unlocked."
Mike and Lucas walked over to where their parents were talking, and the Henderson siblings met with their mom, who was sitting with one of the other PTA moms.
"Mom, can I go to Mike's house?" Dustin asked her. "We all want to be together in this difficult time."
Alice was almost impressed at the way he made his lower lip quiver just right. Their mom ate it up.
"Oh, of course, Dusty! I'll drop you off on our way home."
"Actually, I was going to ride my bike," Dustin said. "Can Alice come too?"
Mrs. Henderson raised an eyebrow.
"Really? I figured you and the boys would want to be alone."
"No, we want Alice there," Dustin said. "She's just one of the guys!"
Alice resisted the urge to roll her eyes.
"Yep, that's me. Just one of the guys."
"I suppose that's all right," Mrs. Henderson said slowly. "Are you sure you two are okay?"
"We're fine, Mom," Alice said, patting her mom on the shoulder.
Mrs. Henderson could tell everything was not fine, but didn't want to pressure her kids into talking about it. They would come to her when they were ready.
Truthfully, Alice wanted to spill everything to her mom. She wanted to tell her about Eleven, and her weird healing powers, and the fact that Barb was possibly taken by a monster, but her mom would never believe her. She would tell Alice it was her "overactive imagination" at it again. It sucked that parents always chalked problems up to stress, overactive imaginations, or not enough fiber.
When the Hendersons got home, Alice quickly got changed and met Dustin in the driveway. He already had his backpack slung over his shoulder, no doubt filled with a change of clothes, his favorite hat, and junk food.
"Ready?" Dustin asked.
"Let's go."
{Edited July 7, 2020; Reposted October 11, 2024}
A/N [from 2019] Vote, Comment, and let me know what you think!
Also, question of the day: What superpowers would you want, and why? I'd want healing powers like Alice, or the power to see the future.
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