IN SHAKESPEARE'S BRILLIANTLY written 'Julius Caesar', there is a quote that says, 'A friend should bear his friend's infirmities'.

The lesson that I have learnt from that quote made me decide to forgo Pat's wrongdoings as to me, Shakespeare is advising me to tolerate Pat's flaws, embrace it and teach her to correct them.

Ending my priceless friendship would truly be an idiotic thing to do, and after hearing Joaq's take on it, I am sure that I am making a wise decision.

Speaking of Joaq... that kiss he gave me... was it real? Or was it a mere figment of my imagination? Can one feel the softness of one's lips in their imagination? But why will I even envision that in my mind? Do I actually...

No way. There's no way I will...

Can I even? Do I even have that ability to... even after what my mum did to me?

I slap my head for thinking such imbecilic thoughts and flag a cab to Pat's home.

When I reached there, Pat was already ready and waiting for me, which was something that I had expected. Whenever we have a serious quarrel, we usually take at least twelve hours to a day to collect ourselves and make up. Thus, this did not come as a surprise for me.

She served me my favourite rose tea and vanilla tea for herself, and looked at me with apprehension in her eyes. It was apparent that she had understood the gravity of what she had committed and was sincerely remorseful about it.

Maybe to you, this will not be that big of a deal. Messing with someone's feelings and using them? What's so immoral about that? After all, didn't Cade use Pat for a better life too?

Well, it's a grave matter to us as this goes against our personal morals. Pat and I both swore to never play with people's feelings after witnessing how it destroyed our peers back in secondary school.

To us, emotions are a very sacred thing, and something that is never meant to be taken for granted or toyed with. 

Emotions are a central, crucial and irreplaceable part of us human beings, thus Pat and I view any form of abusing emotionally as a severe issue, for it can scar and affect the victim negatively for the rest of their lives. Even if it doesn't affect one of the parties involved, it will linger in their mind for a long period of time and is bound to inflict guilt on them.

Regardless of how Caden feels about his evil doing, Pat is regretful and is even more so especially after our fight.

As if she could hear my inner thoughts, Pat apologised, "I'm sorry. If it wasn't for my thoughtless deed, we'll be on good terms. If I had more faith in you, Caden would never have been in my life as a boyfriend. If I was more emotionally mature and stable, this would never have happened. I'm really sorry Irina, can you forgive me? I promise to be more confident in myself, cope with change and learn to depend on myself more."

"Of course I forgive you. And I am really sorry too. It takes two to tango after all, and if I had spent my time and organised it in a wise fashion, this wouldn't have happened. I forgot to treasure you and spend time with you. Instead, I mingled and hung out with my new pals more. I fought with you without hearing you out completely and didn't see things from your perspective. I'm sorry."

Touched, Pat and I hugged each other tightly and bit each other's palms. "Oww, okay leggooo..."

We giggled softly for a while, and the earlier edginess and tension evaporated into thin air.

"Let us let bygones be bygones okay? Let's promise to never do such a thing again okay?" I suggested.

Pat consented and we intertwined our pinky fingers together.

After making up, we sipped our tea and chatted away for a while before I parted from her. "I have to go... it's already 7am, I need to leave for work."

"It's okay, I understand. I'll drop by later! See you, babe."

"See you too!"

___

I almost wish that there is no work today. I'd rather miss out on a thousand dollars than bear with this awkwardness with Joaquim.

It was okay for the first six hours of work. Though we work for the same company, we work in varied departments. As a social media manager, Joaq has to track and analyse stocks and whatnot and write them in a report to Libby. Those gruelling tasks takes about six hours as since Libby's Bath deals with several companies worldwide to produce our soaps, scented candles and fabrics for instance, Joaq also has to message our global business partners.

With the rise of social media influencers and Youtubers, these become part of Joaq's workload too.

In my case, I have to ensure that every stocktaking that I do must be done without a single error, for I have to submit my reports to Joaquim's secretary. These things must be finished in three and a half hours' time, which really is no joke. The amount of items that Libby's Bath sells never fails to give me a blistering headache.

Sometimes I wish I was my old, blunter self again. That way, I would speak my mind freely and even reprimand Libby for producing and creating an endless pile of items.

If there is anything I regret about becoming more open, it's that I have softened up.

Gone is the girl who was audacious and uncaring.

Gone is the girl who didn't give a crap about anybody.

Gone is the girl whose heart is ice-cold and close.

Gone is the girl who had almost nothing to lose.

My new friends, my new life have transformed me into somebody new, somebody better, somebody warm.

It terrifies me.

Is this how a butterfly feels after it goes through metamorphosis? During the first few hours of it being in its chrysalis, does the butterfly wish it still remained as a mere caterpillar, where its passage of life was predictable and secure?

Does a butterfly feel fear when its wings are drying and ready for it to flap it for the first time and take flight? Does it miss its former stable life?

If it does, I can relate to it.

Change is scary.

Now, I am experiencing a whole new kind of change between me and Joaquim. When I was a kid, the change I had to go through was the change of parent and environment. When I was at the beginning stage of teenagehood which is 13, the change I had was the only positive one in my life before I turned 22. I met Pat when I was 13, and that was when I finally felt a sense of belonging since I was 6. However, when I was an older teenager, the change I experienced was a negative one. I was working a myriad of odd jobs to pay off the bills and mountain of debt; another change would be promising gang members that I'll pay off Ander's debt soon.

Now, at 22, I am dealing with change again.

This time, the change is me. The change is my own heart, to see what I will do with this unpredictable situation. To see what I will choose. To see if I will even acknowledge it.

As I record the the amount of soaps we sold this week alone, the sweet sound of the bells twinkling grabs my attention.

A tall, dewy-lipped beauty paces in the store, and every inch of her screams grace. One glance at her and it is evident that she is barefaced and is not even wearing lipstick. Jealousy flows in my veins as I assess her face.

Not even a speck of freckles, not even a mole or beauty mark, let alone acne or pimples. Her face is flawless and is naturally radiant, and it's not because of sweat. If she was sweating, strands of hair will be astray and there will at least been a sheen of sweat dotting her forehead. Yet there is nothing to indicate that.

What's worse is that her face is a perfectly sculpted oval-shape which is the top preferred facial shape for women. Her body is proportionate from head to toe; there is no physical fault in her at all.

I can see why she didn't bother with cosmetics; with long eyelashes like hers, I'd never use mascara. With naturally red lips like hers, I'll save a lot on lipstick. She even has a natural blush to her cheeks and fair skin. I'm so green with envy that I want to rip her face and put it on mine.

I feel strangely relieved that Joaquim has not spotted her yet; he's still trapped in the office room, typing out reports. Thank you for giving me so much work, Libby.

"Hi! How are you? May I know if Libby is in?" The graceful lady queries me with such cordiality and politeness that my spiteful hatred melts away. I bet world peace will be achieved once they see how respectful she is.

She is the first visitor-slash-customer to ever ask about how I feel.

Ya, I know what you're thinking. That I'm too easily swayed, but I'm not. Her level of courteousness is way up high and you can really feel the sincerity in her words. She looks at me not with boredom, but with genuine curiousity and kindness in her black eyes.

"I'm fine, thank you... Miss..."

"Oh, my name is Laetitia. Feel free to address me Laetitia."

"Oh, yes, Miss, I mean, Laetitia." God, even her name is beautiful. "My boss is currently in. I will call her now."

Laetitia gently taps my hand and I turn to face her. "No, please don't. I do not wish to disturb her. I will wait and browse what her store has to offer. Thank you for your help." 

I nod my head and return to my task, but I can't seem to concentrate as I keep trying to discreetly catch a glimpse of the understated beauty.

What's someone like her doing here?

A few minutes pass, and the office door opens.

"Irina, can you please- oh my god. Laetitia? Is that you?"

"Missy! I missed you so so much! Oh, Missy!" Laetitia forgets herself and runs towards Libby, hugging her fiercely. "My baby sister... my Missy."

What on Earth is going on here? Missy? Who is Missy? Is Libby Missy? Are the two sisters?

I bet that this is a twist you didn't see coming! And if you did... 😥 (nah, just joking haha. Props to you if you expected this!) I don't know about you guys, but Alexander Street is really one of my fave books that I've ever written. While I can't relate to some situations mentioned here, I can relate to some themes here. Like in this chapter, anticipating change is a major one as well as including how we deal with our first love.

Is change something enjoyable for you or is it dreadful? Please let me know! Don't be a silent reader. :)

Why do you think Libby lied about her real name? And what's your opinion of Laetitia?

Sorry that there's not a lot of Joaquim and Irina scenes this time. There will be more, I promise. The next few chapters (maybe 4 or 5) will be slightly longer than usual, and I hope you will understand.

I hope that all of you can relate to this as much as I do, and please comment if you do! It'll really make my day if you can even somewhat relate to Irina.