Hey guys. I just wanted to write something that is bothering me, I just finished watching a video of a girl names Kathleen on YouTube, (KathleenLights, one of my all time favorite YouTubers) and she made a chit chat video talking about a really important topic that struck home to me. I know that not everyone that follows me or reads my books will see this, but I know you guys are there and I want you all, every single one you to know these things and to not that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I try to be as positive as possible on here, I'm a very positive person (I try to be as much as possible), but sometimes in life you just thrown down and that's okay. It hurts but it will be okay. I might be rambling on, I'm writing this before school and I will probably post it once I get back from prison but this is something I really wanted to talk about.

I've dealt with anxiety since I was 11, I've never told anyone that... It was completely horrible because I had absolutely no idea that I had anxiety, and I was always wondering why I was feeling this sort of way at such a young age. It was exhausting and caused me to grow up very early. I felt like I was literally suffocating and the rest of my childhood was completely gone and ripped away from me, because it felt like every single second of every day since then I was always wrapped up in my anxiety and I felt like I was a completely different person as to why my brain suddenly like a flick of a switch decided to change, and torture me. Other things came along with that, I was very very sad for a very long time, and I'm still
not completely over it. But I've healed some, and yes I've grown stronger from it and you will too. but I don't talk about that or me on here, I don't like to be vulnerable because I like to be positive but I just wanted you guys to know that nobody is perfect, and if this helps at least one of you guys then I'm so happy to do so and let you know that I understand. but I was just wanted to let anyone who needs to hear it or needs to know that you are not alone. I'm here. I understand. I know it can feel like the whole world is against you and nobody understands, but they do. I promise you, I promise you more than anything. I'm a true believer that everything happens for a reason, you are going through this rough time of whatever it is, to help you grow stronger or to teach you something or teach someone else something. There is always reason but you will always get through it. There are so many brighter days ahead, I promise you I know how it feels to feel like your life is going to be terrible forever. But it won't.

A few days ago it was national suicide prevention day. I think that it's very VERY important to bring awareness to this issue, because if you or anyone of you guys have been struggling with suicidal thoughts please know that you have so much to live for, please don't leave this beautiful earth. I'm here for you. If you are depressed, and are drowning, I promise it will be okay. I promise I promise I promise. I know my words may not mean anything but I so hope that you guys take them to heart, because it's truly coming from my heart and I mean it more than anything. You deserve everything beautiful and kind in this world you will have it one day. Please don't leave. You are absolutely amazing and need to live to see it.

I found so many outlets eventually, Wattpad and the people I have met on here have helped me grow and helped me through my anxiety so much I can not even put it into words. I discovered writing, and it has been able to bring my mind out of the constant battle and war I have going inside my head as I type these words and talk to you guys on here. Writing has shaped who I am so much in the past year, I can not believe it. You guys have helped me through my sadness and anxiety. YOU have helped me. And I promise that I will help you. I'm here for whatever you guys need in life, if you feel like you are literally drowning please do not be afraid to message me. Please don't be afraid to talk to me if you need someone to if you don't have anyone else to or feel like you don't. I'll be here, never to judge, never to reject, I'm here for you guys. Just like you have always been there for me, I love you guys and you all hold such a special place in my heart. Reserved for all of you. I wish I could hug every single one of you guys, and tell you that's it going to be okay. You'll get through it. Better times are ahead. I promise. You are not alone ❤️ I love you.