Chapter Two: Frustration
Alianna grumbled as she entered her chambers, slamming her large wooden door before Sir Henry could enter after. She locked the door and turned to the room. Walking across her room, she kicked of her boots, slipped out of her tight training trousers, untied her belt and scabbard from her waist and slammed it on a table as she passed, ripping off her breast plate and gauntlets, before finally releasing her thick hair from its tie and splatting herself face-first onto her bed.
She laid still for a moment, before sucking in a breath and releasing a muffled scream into her mass of sheets and pillows.
What right did her father have to control her life like this? He had nearly fought for this very kingdom at thirteen summers! She was two whole summers older, she thought.
He preaches equality, yet her servants had more freedom than her. She knew, she knew, this had something to do with her destiny. Yet, she still knew near to nothing of her own destiny. The most she knew was that she was "destined" for something great, to save the kingdoms. But how could she save the kingdoms if Morgana was out there and she was stuck trapped within these walls? Was she meant to defeat Morgana, or was there an even bigger foe out there waiting for her?
Her thoughts frustrated her to no end. There were so many questions she had, and each question led to another, and each lack of answer led to more frustration.
She growled in something reminiscent to that of her father as she pushed herself up off the bed. She stood, picked her sword up off the table, took it from its scabbard, and walked to the practice dummy she had standing in the corner of her room. She pelted it with her sword again and again. She repeated the words of her trainers and mentors in her head. With each blow she hit the frustration harder, often letting out grunts or near-screams of frustration.
She was shouting and hitting the dummy with surprising force and speed, but losing all sense of technique as she seemed to grow only more angered.
All at once three things happened.
The door opened.
Alianna screamed, "I wish you could just react!".
Her eyes glowed golden and the dummy was blown to smithereens.
Alianna froze, as did her mother in the doorway.
"Now," her mother said softly. "What could have caused you to do that?"
The Queen waved a hand and with a flash of golden eyes the dummy pieces were swept up into a neat pile. She walked over to her daughter and lifted her bowed head with a gentle hand. "What's wrong, my child?"
"Father hasn't told you?"
"Oh, your father has talked to me. But I want to hear what you have to say. Come, sit." The Queen sits upon the edge of the large bed, and Alianna crawls upon it and sits in a scrunched heap at the edge.
They sit in silence for a short while, Mione having all the patience in the world for her beloved child. Alianna finally speaks. "Mum... Who am I?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"What am I supposed to do? Does my destiny define me?"
"Oh, darling... You are to do whatever you want to do. Your destiny it does not define you, you define it, you create who you are destined to be. Your awareness of your destiny and feeling of need to fulfill it is what makes you fulfill it. Do you understand?"
"I... I think so."
"Is that all you were frustrated over?"
"No..." Alianna fiddles with her fingers, refusing to look up at her mother. "Is... Is Dah mad at me? Is he... Disappointed... In me...?"
"Oh, my child," Milne brings her daughter to her chest as she sniffles quietly. "No. He is not mad at you, he is mad at himself, and never will he be disappointed in you. No matter what you do he will be proud of you. You are growing to be a bigger and better each and everyday. Your father... He puts pressure on you without meaning too. He knows you are meant to do great things, and he is terrified of watching his little girl get hurt."
Alianna nods, trying to understand. She lays down and gets under the covers of her bed. She pulls them up to her shoulders. "Thank you, mother."
Mione stands. "Of course, my child."
The Queen kisses her daughter upon her brow and then leaves the room with one last glance back at her. She walks quickly back to her own chambers, hoping to find her husband there.
When she find an empty room she heads up to the battlements, knowing that to be somewhere Merlin sometimes heads to think.
When she reaches them he is leaning over the edge, hands cupped in front of him, and eyes gazing around the kingdom below. He sighs when he notices her presence.
"Mione--"
"You have to talk to her, Merlin!"
"I know."
"She doesn't understand what's going on, she doesn't understand how you feel or why you act the way you do."
"I know--"
"She thinks you're disappointed in her for the Goddesses sake!"
"She what?"
"And she already has her destiny weighing down on her, barely even knowing what it foretells, and we just push her to train. Every, single, day. And guards or knights following her everywhere--"
Merlin cuts off his rambling wife by turning to her and places hands upon her biceps, coaxing her to meet his eyes.
"Shh, Mione, I know. I will talk to her."
"Soon?"
"Soon, my love, soon."
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