Shu woke up in his bed, and the blankets were all incinerated.

Lovely. This was the third time he'd accidentally set everything on fire. Probably a part of Requiem messing with him still. He thought he'd carved all of that spirit out of himself already.

He sighed, brushing the ashes off him and standing up, only to step on something squishy.

"HELLO WORLD!!"

"Hartes?"

The albino blinked and squinted up. Shu immediately jumped back onto the bed and covered his bare chest with a pillow, face flushing. He did have muscles and was much stronger than the others, but it was still embarrassing. You try having someone stare up at you from under your foot?"G-GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"Oh, good morning!" He stood up, battle armor on. "Why am I in here?"

"I'D LIKE TO KNOW THAT TOO!"

He shrugged. "Guess it's probably Phi. He wanted my Oreos, and after he woke up, he dragged me out of my house. Probably why. Wanna battle?"

Scatterbrained Hartes.

"No."

He threw on a sweatshirt and a random pair of shorts, then marched out the door while dragging Hartes by the hair. "I'm going to do the exact same thi-"

"Oh, good morning, Shu~"

Nooooooo.

He was not starting every single morning like this.

"Have fun fighting zombies? Next time, I suppose I should buy you something flame-resistant, especially after Lui shot you in the head with a firebal-"

"One more word and I will gut you."

Phi sighed dramatically, pushing himself off the wall. He took out his earbuds. "Well, I guess I'll just take your Oreos and go, the-"

Shu's eyes flashed. "Stay away from my Oreos."

He lazily tipped his head at Shu, coat flaring. Anger boiled in the pit of his stomach, and his hands burned. Fire flashed up his wrists into his bones and shit that hurt. "Make me~"

With a roar, he lashed out, nearly clipping the bastard's jaw with a punch. Phi watched him as he struck again and again. Any one hit would be enough to put him on his knees, or more accurately, knock him out. He wasn't as fast as other people up close, but pretty damn accurate still.

But Phi kept dodging, weaving between the blows and barely moving from that spot. Realizing how ineffective that was, Shu tried to hit from the side, then ducked the other way and kneed him in the balls.

He hissed and threw himself into a roll, black armor doing a fairly good job of keeping him alive. Otherwise Shu would have stabbed him.

"See?" Phi panted. "You're fast and strong, but not as fast as me. I'm faster." He settled into a defensive stance. "You don't play stat-based games, do you?"

Shu growled. The sudden pain in his arms flashed on and off. Calm down. Calm down.

Calm down!

"Assassin-types are fast," Phi recited. "They do lots of damage, but only if you don't see it coming. You-" he panted. "Kill with the first hit. But if you can't land any attacks, you can't win."

Shu glared. "But I did hit you!"

"Barely. And if you don't hit me again by the time I get to that cabinet, those Oreos are mine~"

Shu would kill for his Oreos.

He shot forward, pushing off his left foot. Phi was going to guard himself with his left hand and defend or attack with his right. All he had to do was subdue the left side.

He missed the hand, but spun on his right foot and grabbed his waist from behind. Phi flinched, very slightly, but then turned and started walking toward the cabinet.

Shu tripped him, but for some reason he fell forward instead of backward. He jumped on his back, but that wasn't doing anything either.

Phi touched the cabinet. "You're a feather, honey~" he purred, dumping him off his shoulders.

"Don't call me that!"

He took out a packet of Oreos, popped on in his mouth. "I knew you would attack me. Twy somfthin elwse."

"WHY SHOULD I? YOUR IN MY HOUSE!" At least Hartes was gone. This was just embarrassing.

"Because it's no fun playing with you if you don't put up a fight~" Those ruby lips pouted.

That was it.

That. Was. It.

Shu pouted as well, feigning sadness. "You mean I'm no fun to play with?" He tossed the knife he had in his sleeve away. It embedded itself in a wall. "But I'm interesting~"

Phi would notice the more playful air, but probably play along. As he moved forwards, he didn't bother shifting backwards. Something in his sleeve moved.

Oreos.

Shu stopped less than a breath from him, still pouting, looking in the opposite direction of the Oreos. "Remember what I said about bad boys?" he breathed.

"That they belong at your feet?"

"Yeah, well I was wrong." Then he pressed his mouth to Phi's.

Shu wrapped his right hand around Phi's waist as he flinched, biting his lower lip. He could sense the taller male's smile at that, the interest in what taking Shu would feel like.

The moment his tongue dipped into his mouth, heat flared in his chest, his back, his stomach. Any desire for Phi or Oreos Shu had in his head was immediately gone, replaced by a shit ton of pain. He shoved Phi back.

"Shitshitshitshit..." Everything was on fire. He was in hell, wasn't he?

"Shu!"

The Chimera Blader couldn't breathe, couldn't see anything but red. Why the fuck was this happening now?

"Kurenai, you're not getting any Oreos if you die right now~" He actually sounded a little panicked. Despite the pain, despite his brain boiling in its skull, Shu smirked. He managed to get out, "Is.. the great Phi... scared?"

"Why would I be scared for you, mortal?" A hint of arrogance. "I'm only worried about your innards exploding onto me."

Well, fuck you too.

Shu tried to think through the haze. The heat waves appeared because of an emotion or energy spike. So all he needed to do was calm his fucking ass down and ignore that he just kissed Phi to get Oreos.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm...

"So... wanna kiss me again?"

"Shut your retard mouth!"

The pain was still there, but his vision was clearing enough to see Phi holding him up and a little chipped part of the floor. He immediately knew where he was; barely a step from the counter. If the Phoenix Blader hadn't grabbed him when he fell, his head would've cracked open on the counter.

Yeah, there was literally no reason Phi would save him, but Shu mumbled the question anyways.

"Because you're interesting."

Shu's left hand flicked up Phi's sleeve, then back out. He stood up unsteadily and the albino let him, stepping back.

"Even more interesting now?" He held up the box of Oreos and watched happily as Phi froze.

Phi blinked at him, first glancing at the Chimera Blader's not even red face, then the box of cookies in his hand. He absentmindedly touched his lip and pulled his index finger away. There was a little blood on it. "Well played, Kurenai. Very well play- ARE THOSE MY OREOS?"

The red-eyed albino casually tossed one into his mouth. "Why? Want some?"

Phi didn't bother replying to that, instead grabbing for them. Shu danced back. "Ah-ah-ah! You gotta earn these~"

He stopped immediately. "I truly do not like where this is goi-"

"Dab."

Phi dabbed.

"Dab again."

He did so.

"Good boy~" Shu tossed an Oreo towards him.

Suoh opened the door. "Phi, I want my Oreos back!" Then he saw Shu holding up a box, and his eyes snapped wide open.

"Fuck."

"Gladly," Phi said, lunging at him. Suoh launched himself at the knife in the wall, yanked it out, and gave the other albinos a sharp grin.

Shu ran for his life.

LATER...

"PHI I SWEAR TO GOD, STOP LISTENING TO THAT QUEENS SHIT!"

"YOU UNCULTURED SWINE, THIS IS FALL OUT BOY!"

"FUC- uhhh never mind... No, don't- GIVE ME BACK MY OREOS!"