pairing: Short term memory loss! Y/N x Alastor.

*summary: Y/N and Alastor--both occupants of Hell--were once happily married, though a few months into their marriage, a little accident happened to Y/N where she hit her head, and any memory of her wedding with Alastor--and Alastor included--were forgotten. With Y/N having no one else, Alastor takes care of her, and one day...Y/N finds an old wedding photo of him and her before her accident.*

*Alastor's POV*

A year ago...merely three months into the best days of his entire existence, an accident happened. His beloved, the one who he loved with all his heart, inside and out, had fallen suddenly on one of their daily walks, hitting her head against the pavement.

Only for her to wake over the next passing days...staring at Alastor like he was a complete stranger, and not her newlywed husband/her lover. Like he...meant nothing to her, that his mere presence was unsettling, when just days ago all she wanted was to be with him, to love him, to be the one HE loved. 

She lost that part of herself due to the fall...a sudden twist of her ankle on a stone step, causing her to tumble down a flight of stairs before landing harshly against the pavement, the back of her head bleeding profusely on the ground. 

For weeks, Alastor blamed himself for your memory loss. If he hadn't convinced you to go on a walk with him, you would sit beside him in your shared home, clasp your hand with his, and smile lovingly at him while whispering that you love him instead...of sitting away from him, staring at him like he is an unwanted person in your life. 

...A picture-perfect moment in time, when you and he met all those years ago, how slowly overtime, Alastor began to let you in, let your ball of light shine in his darkness. How he found himself wanting to be around you each and every moment of the day...

How he found himself finally getting on one knee, and asking for your hand in marriage, and you--crying in joy--saying Yes repeatedly, before he scooped you off your feet and spun you around in the upmost of joy and happiness, a feeling he thought had died long ago...even before his mortal body expired. 

It was marrying you that brought that part of him to life once more, when he believed it would forever be lost.

How could something so beautiful--so perfect--be ripped away from him, due to one little twist of your ankle? Causing that part of your brain to forget each and every moment attached to him forever.

Sad as it is, in some shape and form, Alastor believed that he deserved it. Despite how much he wished it wasn't real, he believed that for all his crimes he had committed in his human life, for all the carnage he caused in Hell...your little trip and knock to the head was another piece of his eternal karma. A reminder...that Alastor doesn't deserve anything good in his afterlife. 

With this little belief in his head, he took it upon himself to be your caregiver, even if every single morning you wake up only to see in horror that he is down in your living room--due to you forgetting who he is every time you fall asleep. Despite being reminded constantly of the life fate had planned for the two you of...he still loved you with all his heart, unable to change it from how deep you touched him. It was a curse as much as it was a blessing. 

You entering his afterlife changed him from the inside out completely. And now, finding himself on this path of hardship and pain, he can't abandon you, God how could he? You had saved him in ways you never could understand. You pulled him out of the darkness he thought he would drown in for all eternity. Anything good or bright in his life...was because of you. And deep down...he hoped that by being here for you, he would be some brightness in your now dark and lonely world.  

If he was the one in your shoes, he knows without a doubt that you would do the same for him. Even if he feels he'd never deserve your kindness and empathy.  

For every second since the day of your accident, he's spent it taking care of you, being there for you, repeatedly answering every one of your question's that you forget when you fall asleep...as if your slumber is a hand, wiping clean of a slate, leaving behind a blank canvas for you to refill upon waking the next day. 

You both have experienced good days, and...the worst days of both your lives. All of which you forget, though he never would. 

There have been days where you've woken up and come downstairs and screamed when you saw him in your living room, asking in a panicked voice who he is, why he's here, and while he would try to calm you down, you would throw things at him. Things like books, pillows, once a cup, out of fear that he was an intruder here to hurt you. 

When in reality...he was your HUSBAND, who was here because he loves you, because he wants to be there for you. It was those type of days that really...broke him.

As foolish as he may be, he hoped that one day, you would come down those stairs and smile at him and tell him that you love him. Like you used to...though as the year went by, Alastor remained the same, all the while you seemed to drift further and further away. All the while, he was forced to stand by and watch, unable to fix you.

What a cruel twist of fate. If it is true that Y/N was a hand in Alastor's karma--some sick force using an innocent soul that Alastor fell deeply in love with, changing her completely, making her lose a piece of herself--it made Alastor think that he was a curse to you. 

But as selfish as he is, he wouldn't change it. The one thing he WOULD change was never going on that walk the day you hit your head. Everything else...no matter how many chances he had to change it; he would demand it remain the same. 

Maybe...just maybe, by choosing each and every day to stay with you--no matter how painful or hard it may be--it would help redeem a piece of him that he feels is guilty of the cause to your accident.

But...that is a simple maybe, and nothing more. 

Upon being the first to wake up in a separate bedroom down the hall, Alastor gets up and gets dressed, styling his hair and adjusting his monocle, before going downstairs to make the morning coffee, and read the morning newspaper in the living room--as he always does in the morning, hoping that with this every day morning routine would perhaps one day stick in your mind, though it wasn't likely.

Alastor sits down on the longue chair, crossing his legs and beginning to read. The grandfather clock ticks and tocks in the corner, almost in a haunting manner, causing Alastor to glance at it, his brow raising. 

7:30 already? Strange...you usually come down at 7:10. What caused you to be late? Instinct wants Alastor to go and check on you, to make sure you're okay, though he refrains from taking such an action, in fear that by entering your room, you would have one of your panic attacks from his sudden appearance. 

Wanting to avoid making you uncomfortable at all costs, he even took down all the framed photos of you and him that used to hang with pride on the walls. Every wedding photo, every memory book you would always make when the two of you were dating...he stuffed them all away in his closest. Memories you aren't able to reach and find in your mind...and memories he doesn't want to be reminded of. 

A time when things were so right...only to turn so wrong. 

Five minutes pass, as Alastor remains reading his newspaper in silence, before hearing the faint footsteps that only belong to you, coming down the stairs. 

Lowering his paper, he sees you standing in the doorway, one hand...clutching a photo, while your bright E/C remain locked on him. Not in a...scared way--like you usually are--but in a rather unusual way, a look he has yet to see in your one year of having memory loss. 

He holds your stare for a moment, before reality smacks him in the face, and he remembers his morning routine of words. "Good morning, Y/N, I am Alastor. I simply came by to wish you a wonderful morning, and to help with anything you need."

For a while, he used to be completely truthful and say that he was your husband, but upon making such a claim, it only would upset you even more, and make you ask more and more unnecessary questions. So, overtime, he slowly stopped doing so, and now, he simply claims he's a friend, nothing more, nothing less.

You approach him slowly, the hand clutching the photo softly shaking, as you raise it to show him when you kneel beside his chair. Upon seeing it, Alastor's eyes widen. It was a wedding photo--his favorite picture, in fact--of you and him, you dressed in your beautiful dress that hangs zipped up in the closest along with many of your forgotten possessions, as Alastor holds you bridal style in his arms, your arms thrown out in glee, both your eyes glued shut from joy of this new path the two of you embarked together.

His fingers squeeze the paper, slightly ripping it, as he asks in a soft voice. "Where...did you find this?"

You stare at him. "What...is this?" you reply with a soft shudder of breath, a realization coming to your blank mind of what you believe this is. It's obviously a wedding...though it's YOU, and ALASTOR as what appears to be a bride and groom in the picture.

The two of you...are married? Why didn't he tell you? Why...can't you remember your wedding? Do the two of you possibly have kids down in one of those rooms in the hallway you pass every morning? Why is this information so...shocking to you? And why...are you not wearing a ring? Where IS your ring? What is the meaning behind all this?! 

For a moment, Alastor considers lying to you, but at the same time...

It's been a while since he's expressed this hidden part of your life, in fear that you'll freak out and possibly get hurt or make your condition worse if he mentions it. Though today, when seeing this picture, he stuffed away in his closest for months, he goes against his instinct, and begins to explain.

"This is our wedding photo, my dear," he responds, softly taking the picture from your hand, trailing one finger down the photo, a window to the past he wants to bring back to life so badly, but is unable to do so. "We have been married for a year now," he smiles, though it's laced with visible sadness. "The best and worst year of my entire existence..." he whispers, quiet enough for you to not hear. The best year...because he spends it with the woman he loves for then anything in all the realms. 

And the worst year...for you not being able to see it or share it with him. For it being completely...one sided. For you being so close yet so far, for having not kissed your sweet lips since the day of your accident or caressing your soft skin in his palms. Going an entire year without your embrace or your touch. A true act of torture, worse than anything he's ever felt before. 

You look at him, your eyes widening when hearing his explanation. If that's true...then why can't you remember anything? Surely something must have happened in that timeframe, something rememberable...and yet as you search each and every corner of your mind, you're unable to find anything, all you can remember is waking up this morning, and that your name is Y/N L/N, a demoness in Hell for over twenty years, and that--according to your memory--is and has been single for a long time. 

But upon hearing that...you're actually married? And married to this stranger in your chair, reading your newspaper, drinking out of your cup?

Why does it feel like a lie, but at the same time, like it's true?

When you don't respond for a moment, Alastor begins to fear that perhaps he went too far, and that you'll in any second begin to hyperventilate, and shout question after question at him about what he means, and why it's like that, and why she can't remember it?

He braces himself for that--as he always does--but when your expected reaction doesn't come, he whispers softly. 
"Y/N, darling?" he asks, very hesitantly raising a finger to touch your cheek, though instinct has him pulling back, out of fear you'll push him away. 

It's easier for him to stop himself from touching you...if you push him away, it'll only hurt him more. And he feels enough pain already as it is. 

"Why can't I remember?" you ask in a soft whisper, your tone laced with less confusion but more...pain. As if that side of you that's been forgotten is desperately trying to reach through, begging and pleading to be relieved once more. 

A little flicker of hope rises in Alastor's chest. 

"Because a year ago...you had hit your head, and became diagnosed with a memory loss condition," he replies, quietly, through a crack in the static radio effect of his voice, the memory of that day when you were ripped away from him had happened from that simple twist of your ankle. 

Alastor shuts his eyes, to keep his tears from falling, before he suddenly feels a gentle hand cup his face, causing his eyes to shoot open once more, and to see that you are the one doing it. You...are the one touching him, for the first time in an entire year.

You stare at him almost lovingly--just like you used too--as a little smile tugs at your lips, so surprisingly and suddenly, it makes Alastor's heartbeat speed up, as all the breath leaves his lungs within three seconds. 

You still aren't able to understand this clearly, but you feel...SOMETHING inside of you, some sort of...affection towards this man who calls himself Alastor. This...handsome man who claimed to be your husband, but you can't remember because...of a memory loss condition? 

Is there no way to fix this? Does this mean that tomorrow...you'll forget this? You'll forget him? That's...not really fair, is it? You don't want it to be so. But maybe...if you can't heal the condition completely, maybe you can remember a piece of something, by reaching through to Alastor.

Inhaling a little breath, you find yourself cupping his face with both hands. "Can we...do that again?" you ask, almost in a shy way, a little pink colored blush forming on your cheeks.

Alastor's eyes widen slightly. "Do you mean...you want to get married again?" he asks, a little crack in his voice from the sudden, yet oh so desired, request.

You nod, blushing still. 

A single breath leaves Alastor's lips. For days, weeks, months, he's begged the open air to grant him this. This little moment where you--his beloved wife, his forever one and only--would open yourself up just enough for him to reach through, and possibly leave behind a recent memory for you to hold. Though the chance of that is unlikely. 

But still...this is the most romantic you've ever been with him since that day you hit your head, and he won't let this slip away from him. 

Smiling, he wraps his arms around you. A real-life ceremony would take too much time--time you, sadly, do not have--so it has to be a private ceremony. One at home. But he's capable of doing that, and making it appear a real-life wedding.

"Then I shall happily say yes," he grins, fighting to keep himself somewhat composed, despite being overjoyed to the point of tears from hearing you say you want to marry him again.

Giggling softly, your eyes glance down towards his lips, the blush in your cheeks deepening a tad bit more, all of which Alastor notices, and slightly smirks at. You used to have that same reaction whenever Alastor would compliment you or praise you for a job well done long before you and him began to date. He's missed this little flicker of adorableness you show from time to time. 

He caresses your cheek in an up and down motion, leaning a little bit closer, the same way he would that used to send your cheeks ablaze, as your heartbeat would pick up its speed.

"Would you give me the honor?" he whispers, a soft breath blowing against your lips, sending a wave of tingles running up and down your chest and stomach, as you hesitantly yet positively nod, granting him your permission. 

Smiling, he cups your chin, gently tugging you towards him as for the first time in a year...his lips touched yours. A sensation of pure...delight rushes through his body, almost in an overwhelming sort of way, though he remains steady, and continues to kiss you, softly, slowly...to not make you uncomfortable in any form or manner.

This may be his final kiss with you for Hell knows how long...he wants this moment to be beautiful, such a feeling that it will permanently be marked on his mind, never to be forgotten. He only hoped that it would do the same for you, as well. 

His arms fully wrap around you, the kiss beginning to deepen a bit more. You feel your heart pounding against your chest in a hard yet good sort of way, completely drowning in this...warmth, this heat that radiates off of this man...this said husband of yours...penetrating into you. 

Goodness...memory condition or not...how could you EVER forget his kisses? Especially if they feel like this? Passionate, gentle, perfectly intense? 

It's almost magical. 

When he pulls away--lingering near your lips still--he rises from his chair, lifting you up with him, arms wrapped tightly around you, as he smirks. As much as he would love to stay right here and kiss you for as long as he can, until time tells both you and him no more, he knows that the living room isn't the precise place for such passion. 

"Now, I do believe we have a wedding to attend," he winks at you, shifting so that you are now lifted in a bridal style position, one of his arms under your legs, while the other holds you up behind your back.

Giggling, you feel yourself carried up the stairs, to be brought downstairs to the room where your long-forgotten wedding dress hangs in the closest...

***

Nighttime falls over Hell, covering everything and everyone in a blanket of black, merely a few red and white sparkles in the sky that are Hell's version of stars. 

You lay snuggled up against Alastor's side, a happy, satisfied look on your tired face, your eyes slowly shutting, before instantly opening back up with a sharp inhale of breath upon realizing that you...are beginning to fall asleep. 

Alastor lays beside you--both arms wrapped around you, as your head rests against his chest--and he pushes aside a strand of your hair, planting a sweet kiss on the side of your forehead. "Don't fall asleep," he whispers to you, in a joking way, but at the same time...in a pleading manner. 

Once you fall asleep...everything that happened between you and him today will be completely forgotten. Alastor doesn't think he can bear it, if the next morning you awoke, and had forgot everything that happened to the two of you. 

A sweet, sort yet romantic renewal of your vows, you wearing your gorgeous wedding dress once more for the special occasion, a single kiss sealing your renewed vows, before ending the day the same as any married man and woman does.

You let out a soft, sleepy noise in the back of your throat, snuggling closer to Alastor. "Mmm I'm not," you whisper, exhaling softly, raising the hand that now wears your wedding ring closer to Alastor's neck. "I'm just...resting my eyes." 

Your breathing begins to relax, to the point where your inhales and exhales become a bit deeper, and longer. Curiously glancing down at you, a slice of pain flashes through Alastor. 

...You fell asleep. 

Softly, Alastor hugs you a little closer to him, burying his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent he's gone so long without smelling, running his hands up and down your bare back, as he tries to refrain from letting his tears get control over him. 

It would be cruel to keep you awake all night, just to keep what had blossomed between you alive a little longer, before it will wilt and die when the next day approaches. 

Though at the same time, it's cruel to him to allow you to fall asleep and wake up in the morning and forget everything. The little wedding that took place in the living room, the passionate kisses, and the final moments of intimacy to end the day with. 

With a final kiss to your forehead, he leans down and whispers in your ear. "I love you, my beautiful doe...I can only hope that somewhere in your conscious...you'll remember this day. That it won't be completely lost to the darkness..." 

You don't stir, though the smile you fell asleep wearing still remains on your face, making you appear like a Sleeping Beauty. 

His sleeping beauty...now and forevermore. 

As slow as he can--to not wake you--Alastor slips out of your bed, leaving your room to go to his for the night, climbing into his bed, and exhaling softly when the silence fills his ears. He feels so much colder without you in his arms...he had forgotten how warm you would feel against him.

Shutting his eyes, he pulls his blankets up to his collarbone, arms crossing on top his cover. Despite wishing the day had lasted longer--or even forever--he was...so thankful. Thankful that he had a little taste of your love once more. 

That somewhere deep within you, no matter how thick your memory loss may be...you still love him. You still are connected to him. You aren't gone completely. 

A little smile tugs at Alastor's lips. He had waited the day for you to tell him that you still love him. And today...was the closest he's ever been to that wish. 

It was enough for him to feel whole once more. He hoped that deep down, you would feel whole as well, and that the reality of your fate wouldn't take that away from you completely...as it had down to all your other memories with him. 

Overtime, Alastor fell asleep, before waking the next morning. Getting up and doing his usual morning routine, he goes downstairs, makes the coffee, and sits at the longue chair facing the stairway while he reads. 

And then...that's when he hears it. The faint shuffling of feet, before it stops when the feet touch the living room floor. And then...the confused, hesitate, frightened voice of a female, cutting the silence with her words. 

"Who are you?" you ask. The same you, who requested to marry Alastor yesterday, because you couldn't recall the memories of your first wedding with him. The same you who kissed and cuddled with him late into the night...the same you who stands before Alastor now, your mind wiped clean of such memories from last night, and filled with the frightened, confusion of his presence. 

Alastor glances at you, his smile soft yet appearing sad, as he replies. 

"I'm your husband, Y/N," he says, wanting you to hear his words, not caring how you'll react. From now, and every day after, he won't claim he's just a friend, or someone who is here to help. He'll say and only say what is true. 

He is your husband. He will always be your husband. And you...will always be his wife. You...will always be the one who loved him. 

When somebody loved him, everything was beautiful. Every hour you and him spent together, will always live in his heart. And when you were sad, he was there to dry your tears, and when you were happy, so was he...

When she...loved him. While he...loves her still.
❤❤❤

THANKS FOR READING!!!!