Chapter Twenty Three – Breathe (2am).
Alec lay watching the clock as the luminous red numbers finally flicked over to read 2am before deciding he'd had enough of lying awake like he'd been doing for the last four hours. Carefully climbing out of bed, being wary not to wake Magnus as he unwrapped the Warlock's arms from around his waist, Alec began to hurriedly throw on a pair of jeans and shirt and his favourite hoodie before creeping out into the living room. Quickly slipping through the tiny gap that was made as Alec opened the bedroom door, the Chairman slinked in almost making the Shadowhunter trip over the tiny cat. Pausing momentarily as Magnus stirred briefly in the his sleep Alec held his breath quickly pulling the door to and silently sealing it shut as he padded across the living room floor only pausing once more to pull on a pair of trainers and grab his jacket.

Breath misting in front of his face Alec chose a direction and began running his eyes focused on the path in front of him, erasing each thought out of his mind as he set one foot in front of the other. He had been running for quite some time - having taken the longer route - before he finally paused on top of Brooklyn bridge to catch his breath. He watched the dark murky water beneath him ripple pushed along by the brisk cold wind of the night, the full silver moon waving with the movements of the water almost as if it was greeting Alec like an old friend. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Max..." He muttered, tilting his head up towards the moon, "The only thing that makes sense is that I miss you and love the others... what do I do?" He addressed the last part to himself before he turned his back on the water and set off again.

Alec unlocked the door to the institute, slipping through the slightest crack letting the door swing shut behind him as he began to make his way up to his room. His footsteps echoed through the empty hallways, the corridors only illuminated by the witchlight lamps set into the walls. As Alec walked past each lamp his skin was bleached of all colour making him seem almost ghostly as he made his way through every corridor and up the staircases towards his room, his hair streaked with silver highlights. Slipping into his bedroom Alec kicked his shoes off in the corner of the room flopping down on his bed, regardless of the fact that the tops of his toes were brushing against the floorboards. It took less than a couple of minutes for Alec to fall fast asleep on his bed.

*****

Alec woke up gasping for air, his chest heaving with each ragged breath. He could feel his whole body trembling as he drew his knees up to his chest, fighting to regain his normal breathing rate. His eyes darting wildly around his room strange shadows created by the moonlight shinning on the various objects of his bedroom. "I'm a liar. Such a liar... why would he trust me?" He stammered, clutching thick strands of his inky black hair within his fists, tears stinging the backs of his eyes as he struggled to hold them back. "Such a liar." He mumbled, voice crackling and broken as he struggled to calm down. Breathing was difficult, his throat so tight. Why couldn't he breathe? He felt hot and cold at the Sam time and his whole body was trembling with the effort to hold himself together. Why was he shaking? He didn't know. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't see clearly. His pulse raced insanely, throbbing under the thin skin that wrapped the expanse of his wrist and neck. How could he make it stop? Why wasn't it stopping? His head swam with a tempest of thoughts, insane worries and concerns. Why wouldn't it stop?

Jace woke up gasping for air, his lungs were burning and Parabatai rune ached as if it was scalding it skin like a fire poker was being pressed against his skin. He choked, racked over in a coughing fit as he tried to take in air through his constructed throat. "Alec." He mumbled as he stumbled to his feet as he made his way over to his jacket which was hanging on the back of his bedroom door, rummaging wildly through the pockets in order to find his mobile. As he began to run through the institute corridors, making his way to Alec's room to make sure he wasn't at home he dialled Magnus's number praying internally that the warlock would pick up. When Magnus didn't answer Jace cursed under his breath, disconnecting the call as he sprinted up a corridor before slamming into the wooden door of Alec's bedroom.

The door sprung open under the pressure of Jace's body weight and he cast a wild-eyed glance around the bedroom, before letting his gaze settle on Alec's curled up body on his bed. Jace pushed the door shut, making his way over towards his Parabatai as he sat down and wrapped an arm around Alec's shuddering shoulders. "Hey. Alec. Alec shush. Calm down for me okay? Deep breaths with me. In. Out." Jace muttered quietly, rubbing the palm of his hand soothingly over the sharp wing of Alec's shoulder blade which jutted out clearly visible through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Jace took a deep breath in, ensuring that Alec was copying the action as best as he could with the state he was in at the time. "Just breathe for me okay." Jace mumbled, hugging an arm tightly around his brother in arms. "You're gonna be okay. We're okay. Come on, just breathe."

Once Alec had calmed down, despite the fact that Jace kept him glued to his side in order to protect him, Jace turned his attention to the older Shadowhunter. "You wanna talk about it?" Jace mumbled, continuing to rub his hand soothing over Alec's shoulder blade frowning in concern each time he felt the bone jutting out from under Alec's skin. Alec shook his head, chewing on a fingernail, "I'm okay now. Thanks Jacey." Jace frowned at the nickname, "I'm killing your sister. We're Parabatai, you're supposed to have my back at times of battle and dreadful nickname giftings!" Alec shot his Parabatai a grin and winked to let Jace know that he was only teasing. "Goodnight Jace." Alec mumbled through a yawn, letting the blond haired Shadowhunter leave the room happy in the knowledge that his Parabatai would be safe and feel a little more secure now that he wasn't so wound up.

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A/N:

All I'm literally gonna say is I'm sorry for how dark this story has begun to get as well as my lack of updates recently, I'm a lousy writer I know. I also promise that the story is literally gonna get more happier starting with the next chapter if I what I plan on writing goes to plan.

~ Ty