A/N:
Hey Everyone. This is just a little filler chapter for me to get used to writing this book again.

So I know I haven't updated anything in a while but I had issues with my mental health that I needed medical professional help with. I also went on a trip with my band mates to America and we stayed in Texas for a week after that. I was also supposed to update on the 4th but a friend from Texas got in touch.

I also had my first Pride event today where I finally got to be myself since I can't do that at home since I'm not out and I'm being honest I've never felt so free. It has been such a comfort just to be myself openly and it was such a fun event. Happy Pride everyone!❤️💛💚💙💜🌈🌈
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Chapter Twenty Five – So Cold.
Alec blinked a couple of times trying to focus his eyes onto the target in front of him, the room swaying and blurring so that now he was staring at three targets instead of one. Blinking again the target returned to the solitary one at the far end of the training room in the Institute, arrows sticking out miles away from the head and shoulders area, almost as if they were mocking him. The room swayed causing Alec to gasp for breath, struggling to remain on his feet as a wave of overwhelming exhaustion and nausea wracked his body. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually slept for the whole night instead of sporadically, caused by his body shutting down and making him black out. Even during those times, however, Alec still woke feeling entirely exhausted as if he hadn't fallen asleep at all. He staggered over to the target, wrenching the arrows out of the wall with the little energy he still had, the rune he had applied had long since faded only serving to make him feel worse.

The room tilted at an odd edge causing the Shadowhunter to fall onto the wooden floor hard, flopping onto his back breathing deeply. He had, had a few nights in the past when he and his siblings were younger, where he had stayed awake all night just to read or cram for a test on Shadowhunter lore that Hodge had made him, Jace and Isabelle complete but his exhaustion from those nights had never been this bad, then again he had slept the night after those tests. He lay on the floor for a moment, sweat making his clothes and hair stick to him, letting his thoughts take control of his mind for a while. He'd noticed the negative thoughts that whispered in the back of his mind, noticing how very unlike him they actually sounded. Although he found that he didn't care as much as he probably should have when they began to demand his full attention. He was too tired to fight against them today.

Somewhere in the room his mobile buzzed against the wooden flooring, but Alec ignored it. He'd gotten good at that, as well as avoiding people. He shut his eyes finally giving into his exhaustion and allowing himself to drift into a fitful sleep, stretched out on the cool wooden flooring of the Institute's training room.

*****

Jace pressed the end dial number, the second he reached Alec's answer phone message, with a sigh. he was supposed to be doing rounds with Alec at this moment but the moment his Parabatai had stumbled into the Institute, half asleep, barely just keeping himself upright Jace hadn't had the energy to drag his Parabatai back outside on the round, besides he was certain that Isabelle would have tried to murder him if he had. Shutting his eyes briefly he allowed himself to relax using every fibre of his heart and soul to focus on Alec. He knew his Parabatai hadn't been coping well with whatever was bothering him and yet he was too stubborn to ask either Jace or Isabelle for help or advice. He could feel the exhaustion that plagued Alec like a curse, making all of his bones weigh him down, the sting of fading runes that weren't his finally releasing the last of their energy which Alec had been using to keep himself awake and focused. He felt a brief calm sweep over him, a sensation only brought by the comfort of sleep and Jace relaxed, his eyes opening once more now that he knew his Parabatai was okay.

He decided to quickly finish the rest of his rounds, passing by Pandemonium was his last stop for the day and then he was done and could return to Institute to check on Alec before maybe heading back out to see Clary. He allowed himself to smile at that thought realising just how much he had actually missed Clary, considering he hadn't really seen much of her since Alec and Magnus had returned from their honeymoon, although he didn't blame Alec at all and Clary understood how much the older Lightwood meant to Jace. But he still bad for not getting in contact with her as much as he probably should have done over the past few weeks Alec and Magnus had been back. Slowing his pace as he neared Pandemonium he walked inside pulling out his Sensor as he went.

He made a quick round of both the inside and the outside of the building, grinning victoriously when his Sensor stayed still and silent the whole time. Slipping his Sensor back into his jacket pocket he left the building and made his way home to the Institute.

*****

As he neared the Institute however Jace noticed the sparkly glittery figure of Magnus Bane stood outside the doorway. Rolling his eyes, Jace walked up to the Warlock tapping him lightly on the shoulder. Noticing the worry for his Parabatai on Magnus's face, Jace's expression softened slightly. "Come on." Jace said opening the door to the Institute and gesturing Magnus inside.