Hidan was banned from cussing whenever he was around Sakura.

There were absolutely not shits, dicks, or fucks to be said. One wrong word around Leader's little brat and his ass would be kicked all the way to Suna and back, but it wasn't like he was around the kid much anyways. Whoever was at the base tended to keep her away from him as much as possible, and he was cool with that. No use in getting to know someone who was bound to get chopped up by the next group of psychos that rolled around.

But then he became the only one available.

So here he was now, practicing his taijutsu while Sakura watched from the sidelines. His scythe lay in her lap after she'd asked him to hold it and her shouts of amazement was really starting to do wonders with his ego. Why did the others try to keep her away again? She was one grade A hype man!

"You're so cool, Hidan-san!"

"Hell yeah I am!"

She giggled and he grinned. Hell wasn't a considered a swear word, right?

He took a break after about an hour and slumped on the tree just to her left and accepted the bottle of water she pushed towards him.

"Thanks, brat."

They sat in a companionable silence for a while, staring up at the clouds. He didn't notice the pair of bright eyes that glanced to the side, catching a glimpse of the thoughtful look that crossed his face. It wasn't often that he'd be so at peace, and it wasn't often that others saw him as something other than annoyed, smug, or bored.

And if Sakura thought about it, there wasn't a time she saw him smile. Like, a real smile, though. Not a crazy one.

"Hidan-san?"

"Mm?"

"Drawin' and readin' and goin' outside make me really happy," she said. He quirked a brow. "What makes you happy?"

What a weird girl.

"What makes me happy..." he repeated slowly. He rolled his head. "... Being a Jashinist would have to take that fuc—erm, spot. It's been with me the longest, and it's the only thing I have, seriously."

Hidan said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but his downcast eyes spoke legions of what he himself couldn't. Sakura stared at him for a few moments before she set down his scythe as gently as she could and hopped onto his lap, smiled at his surprised expression.

"Tell me stories, Hidan-san! I wanna know more 'bout Jashin! He sounds super cool!" she gushed. He arched an eyebrow and grinned, unable to stop his incredulous laughter.

"You're real weird, you know that? Come on, let's go inside. I'll tell you stories and make you some f—lunch."

::

It was about three days later when the Akatsuki started to file back in to base. Two pairs—Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, and Kisame—returned to a strangely quiet house; there was no Hidan sprawled across the couch bored out of his mind, no Sakura sneaking around to avoid bedtime like she would usually tend to do. Interest, albeit worried, they exchanged glances and silently made their way down one of the dimmed hallways.

The door to Sakura's room was cracked open, the soft glow of her night light pouring through the darkness. A voice, deep and alluring and lulling, spilled out with the light and it took entire seconds of listening for them to actually recognize who was speaking.

Deidara lunged for the door and peeked in.

Hidan sat cross-legged on a plush pink bed, leaned back against the wall and holding a book in his hand. A cartoonish book, in fact, with a cover of princesses and dragons and princes. He held in a strangled gasp as Kisame peered in above him. Sakura curled contently in that lunatic's lap, a handful of shirt in her hands and her head on his chest.

"An' den wha' happen?" she mumbled, eyes drooping. Hidan turned the page and pushed his glasses up.

"After saving the princess from the evil witch, the prince brought her back to his castle and had a beautiful wedding full of white roses, sunflowers, and irises—just like he promised. And they lived happily ever after. The End."

Hidan shut the book and carefully slid out the bed as to not disturb the little girl. He tucked her in and set the book on her night stand, then slipped out the room and rounded a vicious glare on the four who didn't even try to hide their amusement. Deidara rushed up to him first, looking up at him with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.

"Read me a story next, un?"

Hidan growled and whacked him upside the head. "Shut it," he hissed. Sasori raised a brow. "Be creepy somewhere else, would ya?!" He turned and stalked to his own room and shut the door with a startlingly quiet click.

...

"I thought you were the only one who wore glasses, Itachi-san."

"And I thought Hidan would have lashed out at the comment," Itachi responded in kind.

"Forget about comment—I wasn't aware that Hidan knew what whispering was," Sasori remarked dryly.

"He didn't cuss, un. Not even once!"

It took an entire week for Hidan to get back to normal.

::

EDITED 2.23.18