Chapter 3

Nagisa

After school ends, Nagisa stands by the window, silently watching Karma and Akari standing at the centre of the field Korosensei recently created. He is quite surprised when Akari suddenly asked for Karma's help in improving herself and ate a whole tube of wasabi as some sort of 'payment'. Even if she is a girl, Karma really don't hold back on mischief.

"Akari-san is sort of brave, is she?" Isogai speaks as he takes a spot next to him, also watching the first training. "Despite her clumsy first appearance yesterday."

Nagisa turns to look at him. "Isogai-kun thinks Akari is brave?"

"Yeah." He sheepishly rubs his head. "When she ate the whole tube of wasabi, I was quite impressed. She is probably the first girl to withstand against Karma's pranks."

Nakamura suddenly pops up out of nowhere, a dirty grin on her face. "It seems our male class representative took an interest in her, huh?"

Nagisa watches as Isogai's face is dyed with a shade of pink, but it quickly fades away.

Kataoka, with her hands folded in front of her chest, stares intently at the two outside. "If Karma ever tries to hurt her, I will personally ensure his doom." Nagisa sighs at her declaration. Megu maybe too overprotective, but she does it in everyone's best interests.

"Come on, Megu," says Nakamura. "Aka-chan's a black-belt. She may have lost some confidence after that incident, but she still has the skills of kicking someone's ass." Then she yells out of the window and pumps her fists in the air, "Show him what you got, Aka-chan!"

Nagisa slowly digests what Nakamura just said. Incident? What incident? Before he can ask, Kaede joins them, a gleeful look of anticipation on her face.

"I wonder if she loves pudding~~" Kaede says, her eyes glittering with happiness. His best friend, a sweets chef, is looking for someone who shares her interest and passion in sweets, Korosensei excluded. Now that a new girl came, Kaede told him from the looks of Akari's face she knows the girl is a sweets lover. Nagisa doubts she can know a person by just looking at her face, but he doesn't want to disappoint her.

"I wonder how she gets into Class E anyway," Sugino says as he joins in the chat.

"She kinda failed the entrance exam," Nakamura replies.

"We have an entrance exam for transfers?"

"Actually it was our first mid-term exams. She didn't know she had to take it and never got to study so..." Kataoka adds. "If she was really serious, she might get into 3A. But I rather she come to 3E. At least," she looked around at the classroom which is still buzzing with students even after school. "With her around we'd increase our chances of killing Korosensei. Besides, I think she preferred 3E anyway. She told me after just one day being in here makes her felt much warmer than being in the main campus."

Everyone is silent after hearing what she said. Nagisa smiles. Akari is right. It is better for anyone to be here than being in that main campus, where the students have nothing but contempt on 3E as their motivation to keep moving forward.

*****

Akari

I look at Karma. "You want me to what?"

"Fight me," Karma says. He doesn't sound like playing around. "If I need to train you, at least show me what you got."

I look down at my hands. They don't shiver. But I know they will if I start. "I can't." My voice but a bare whisper.

"Well then," he says. "I'll start."

Before I can register what is happening, his fist is a few inches away from my face. Immediately my instincts kick in and I dodge to the left. Then his right leg kicks me in my gut. It isn't really that strong because I am still standing, though my legs are feeble. Another punch from my left. I dodge. A kick from the right. I jump away. The same situation carries on, him landing attacks, me dodging and jumping. I slowly realized that these attacks are slow and sloppy. He is not using his full strength. It is too easy for me to dodge. But if he is to use his all, in my current condition I might just be a punching bag for him.

Karma's attacks stop abruptly. "You know I can't just pretend to hit you and you just dodge away like that. This whole thing would seem meaningless."

It's not like I want to dodge. If I fight, I might... I might...

"What? You can't fight or something? Some big knot tied in your heart?"

How come everything he said is so accurate it hurts?

He sighs, and then sits on the ground cross-legged. "What is it? If it can help you, my ears are open."

"I..." my mouth can't seemed to make the words right.

I...

Karma stares at me with anticipation. But before I continue, I am walking away, towards the downhill road that leads home. I don't bother to look back. I ignore the cries of my name from the classroom. I just want to leave. I don't want any of my new friends to know so that they can abandon me later.

My legs take me as far as they can. I don't know where I was heading until I find myself in a park near my apartment. The park is quiet, omit of any children joy and laughter. The sun sets a warm orange glow over the place. The swing squeaked as I sit on it, silently watching the dandelions nearby dance to the occasional breeze.

I look down at my hands. They are clean until my memories taint them in red. My hands are covered in someone else's blood. The sticky red liquid seeps into my fingernails. Blood drips ominously from my fingertips.

I shake the image away from my mind. Sooner later everyone will find out. Then history will repeat itself. I will be left alone once more. I can still remember the faces of disgust and contempt as they looked at me, fingers pointing. Their voices resonates in my head, words I can still recall so clearly like it happened yesterday.

"Look at her. Look at what she did."

"Don't get close to her. Or else she will do the same to you."

"I hate you, you murderer."

"Hey."

I look up. Karma sits on a swing next to me. He probably followed me here, like a stalker. "You know you can't just bail on the first day of training, right?"

I don't reply.

"It's just the both of us here now. Spill out all your heart's secrets, including your big crush on me. Don't worry. I won't tell."

"Not funny."

He shrugs. "Fine, no crush."

I look at him. He doesn't look mad even though I ditched him just now. Mischief is prominently etched on his face, along with some curiosity and concern. Should I tell him? Will he keep it as a secret too? But what if, what if he leaves too like everyone else?

All those who said they will stay, never stayed in the end.

"I killed someone."

He perks up and stares at me. Not with contempt. Not with despise. But with surprise and a tiny amount of admiration. His look gestures me to continue.

"I was in Kunugigaoka Junior High for first grade. I had just made friends with my class, especially Megu and Ri-chan. Then a day after school, I walked past an alley on the way home. I saw an adult grabbing a kid from my same school. His hand was clamped over the kid's mouth as the kid struggled to break free. Slowly the kid lost his strength and the man continued to drag him into a car. I had to move fast," I describe my lucid and vivid memory from years ago. "I grabbed a metal pole from the ground and hit it in the man's head when he wasn't noticing. But it wasn't enough. He had a dagger." I remember how malicious the dagger was as it glinted.

"The dagger cut my right arm. I dodged his fury of attacks and managed to kick him in the groin. But the man didn't give up. I knew had to do something. I kicked the dagger off his hands. Then he lurched at me, using his weight to suppress me to the ground. I tried to use my skills to force him away, but he was too heavy, too strong." I can still remember his breath near my neck. "I was pinned to the ground. He raised his fist in the air. He was going to punch me to death. I had no choice. My skills can't save me. So I reached for the dagger before he could punch me and I... stabbed him. In the chest. He didn't stop so I stabbed him again." The warmth of his blood covered my face and hands. "Then he fall over on the ground. I killed him." The sight of the blood pooling beneath the lifeless body, soaking his shirt red is so vivid it doesn't feel like a memory.

"The police ruled out I was doing self-defense and ordered the media not to reveal my identity because I was only 13. But somehow, somehow," I feel tears are welling in my chest but I hold them in. "News spread like wildfire. One of my classmates knew. Then the whole school knew. I slowly became whispers in their mouths, topics for their daily gossip. Their disgusted eyes as they look at me, their cursing words thrown at me, made me feel like I was the least wanted person in the world. I was hated, scorned at, but that never kept me from going on because Megu and Ri-chan were there for me." I remember how they treated me even if I became a murderer. "They didn't abandon me. I thought I could just continue to study in this school just with the both of them. I don't need others. However, because they supported me, they too were scorned and hated. Ri-chan even cried when someone one broke all her pencils deliberately. It slowly grew on me that because of what I did, I dragged innocent people into the pit with me. Ri-chan and Megu. Then I began thinking of the man's family. I killed him, so his family lost the pillar that supports it. The wife lost her husband, the children lost their father. Then I left."

"I left for the US, to live a better life where no one knew me. To start over. But I knew, no matter how far I go, those memories, kept on following me, reminding me to take heed in my actions so that history does not repeat itself. I became a pacifist. I didn't train my black-belt skills anymore. A year later, when things died down, I came back, hoping no one ever remembered what I did. I didn't anticipate that I would end up in a class to assassinate the teacher. At first, I hesitated. Maybe I should just leave. But then I thought, it's been so long. Maybe I can fight again like I used to. Besides, 3E doesn't know about me. Maybe I can stay. Maybe my past will never be dug up again. Just,maybe."

"I thought I can still fight so I challenged those ruffians head on. Then I realized I can't. All the bravado I put on was a false alarm. So when I saw you fight, I thought maybe I can learn something from you. When I can't even fight you, I realized how pathetic I was. Pretending to be someone that I used to be when I couldn't. If I can't fight, how am I going to kill a Mach 20 octopus? I'm pretty much useless, aren't I?" I look at Karma, who listens intently to me without saying anything.

There is an eerie silence. The breeze is stronger now as the tree branches swayed.

"You may think you're useless," Karma breaks the silence. "But I think you're the opposite. You saved the kid's life. People should be thankful and grateful for you to do that. But reality hits you back hard in the face. That's how this twisted world is. If you can't adapt it, change it. Or you might as well not kill Korosensei and let him destroy Earth. Then this twisted world will end."

I am surprised at his speech. Before I can retort he continues. "Look, things don't go the way we wanted to. When we do good stuff, we expect good things come in return. For me, when I beat the crap out of the 3A student who bullied my 3E senior, I didn't expect to get suspended and be thrown into 3E the following year. My teacher whom I can always count on turned his back on me just because I nearly destroyed a star student's bright future." He looks up into the sky. It is now in beautiful shades of orange and red. "Nonetheless, I never regretted it. And now I get to kill a real teacher, though an octopus. You don't need recognition from those who don't understand. You only need it from those who do, those who knew the reasons behind your actions and supported it no matter what. Your faith is really what matters. If you think too much of the consequences of your actions, you might as well leave 3E. After all, if you feel guilty killing Korosensei, might as well let Earth be destroyed instead. Believe in the actions that you do bring good and not harm. After all, you do want to do good right? You wanted to save the kid right? Not because you had an urge of bloodlust to kill people."

He is right. Despite the look on his face that prompted an upcoming blackmailing later because he gave an advice. I saved the kid. That's all it mattered. Whoever that only saw the bad I committed instead of the good I did can go to hell. I didn't want to kill the man. If I don't kill the man, I wouldn't be here right now. If I didn't interfere, the kid might be taken away from his parents forever. They would never see him again nor know where he went. They wouldn't know if he was alive or dead. Somehow I feel proud of myself.

I look at him, wipe the tears from my eyes. And smiled. "Thank you, Karma."

He smiles back. "You're welcome." He stands up and turns to a row of bushes near the swing. That is when I see a few oddly-shaped objects poking out of the bushes, one of them weirdly round and huge. "You guys can come out now, eavesdroppers."

Eavesdroppers?

The weirdly round and huge object pops out from hiding, and I finally realize it is Korosensei. The other oddly-shaped objects turne out to be 3E classmates: Rio, Megu, Nagisa, Isogai, Kaede and Sugino. All of them look awkwardly sheepish after they eavesdropped our conversation.

Rio run towards me and squeezes me. "I didn't know how harsh you are going through right now! I'm so sorry!"

"God's sake, Rio," Megu chides. "Are you gonna cry?"

"I just got sand in my eyes, that's all!"

"I seemed to recall Akari saying someone cried because her pencils were broken," says Sugino playfully but earns glares from Rio.

Korosensei pats my head. "No matter what you did in your past, you are now part of us, Akari-chan. We will always accept you, because all of us are pretty much the same. We have our flaws but that is what makes us, us. Let's hone our blades together, ok?" The big yellow round face lit up a wide grin-actually it is how he looked all the time. I look around at my classmates. They smile and nod at me. Even if they know my hands are tainted with blood, they didn't back away. They accept me.

This is where I want to belong to.

I nod and show a thumbs-up at Korosensei. "I'll try my best to kill you then, Korosensei. For Earth's sake."

His face turns red, with a lighter-red circle in the middle of it. "Such a healthy bloodlust, keep up the good work, Akari-chan. I can't wait for you to kill me." Then his face return to the usual yellow colour.

"You know," Kaede scratches her head as she voices up. "I have been wondering about what Akari-chan said. She said she thought of the consequences of her actions even though her purpose was justified. Korosensei, did you think of the consequences of your actions when you blew up the moon?"

Korosensei seems shocked when she asks. "Nuya? What consequences?"

"Obviously he didn't," states Rio.

"Korosensei!" Megu points her finger at him. "Have you ever thought of when you blew up the moon, you end up disrupting the high tide and low tide occurrences? I heard that low-lying areas like Maldives are going to have serious troubles with floods!"

Korosensei visibly appalled. "W-what? Sensei never thought of it before!"

"And we never get to see a full moon anymore," Sugino adds, faking some tears in his eyes.

"B-but by destroying the moon, Sensei end up teaching you guys and you like Sensei's teachings so much!"

"That was because you threatened to destroy the Earth as well," states Nagisa.

"What Korosensei did have no good purpose in the beginning!"

"That's right! Akari-chan is way better than you!"

"You should be ashamed of youself, Sensei!"

Korosensei tries to retort but his efforts are futile. He suddenly glare at me. "Akari-chan, did you come to 3E to steal Sensei's spotlight?!"

"Don't blame Akari-chan!"

"You should have thought through before you act!"

I stifle a laugh at their antics. Korosensei is still having a hard time to explain his actions while the others continue to chide him.

I am gonna love staying in this class.