((jeez this writer doesn't know how to write))  thx jazzie-kun 4 th good review! and stop flmaing the stroy ((keep flaming))!1 i bet you cant write such a good story!1!1 ((Really, I don't think that's true))

StarPaw walkd over too the apprentice's den. Insid ((You're in Sid?!))  she saw her sister's FlamePaw and lakePaw and hr friend JazzPaw  (a.n. jazzie-kin ur my bff!) ((I bet that this jazzie-kun is just the writer's back up account)) was slepping on the mos. ((What's slepping and mos?))

"JazzPaw get up." she cried ((Why are you crying?)). JazzPaw opend her brilliaint blu eyes ((You know what wold be more brilliant? Actually spelling stuff correctly)) and looked at hr.

"Do yo want 2 ((Oh gods, the writer gave up on writing the words correctly)) go on pattrol with me?" she asked.

"Sure!" Said JazzPaw getten up from the moss. They leavt and went too the entrnse too camp. ((I have no faith that this writer can write one correct sentence))

But then, a cat came in thru ((Hello I'm at the McDonald's drive-thru, not you. Not actually but whatever)) the camp entrnce! It was BlackStar!1!11 ((Blackstar is sooo exciting he needs ones after his name))

"Shadowclan are attaking!" ((Maybe Blackstar wanted to ask Firestar something, Vlacas.)) She yelled. All the cats came out from there dens. She jumped on a cat and clawd him and he ran off. ((If that was Blackstar, I will be very suprised))

"Good job StarPaw!" FireStar called, "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter!" ((I thought that Sandstorm was a good hunter, not a fighter))

StarPaw was happy ((Finally! A sentence that is spelled correctly!)). She wus ((And now that's ruined)) a good fihgter! Maybey this was wat the prophcy meant. ((No it isn't))

Thnkx and ples no more flam. ((No I'm not going to stop reviewing this story))

Side Notes : 18

I'm not saying what a Vlacas is because of the fact that I don't want my classmates to know

Aircloud Out!