summer is wistful you were
wistful, wilted
touching the bare end of my brain
i'm sleeping the the remains of
you

(did it hurt?
does it
i'm sorry, i'm always
sorry - )

there's something bare-bones, white collared, carved skin about you; you held your hands out -
i was too far away to take it
i'm sorry,
i always am.
are you, sorry?
do you regret it? leaving hollow handed missing something
i wish -
but wish are for fishes
and if
for every wish
i had a fish
i'd open the best goddamned aquarium the world has ever seen
that you'd ever seen
if you'd even come.

(do you miss me, lovely?)

(you were everything, ferki?)

(ōishemičhey, my friend)

when i was small, a klyne kinder, and tired and fantasized about my body hitting the ground from a glorious height,
despite the fact bunk beds would scare me i―
asked my teacher why
hashem makes bad things
happen to good people and she said
gan'eyden is ranked
with how hard life is.

those who stay strong through
the list suffering
have the best eternities
i did not want an eternity
i didn't tell her
i lied

i didn't know it then, but i did

i'm sorry.

(have you ever wanted to spend forever with someone?)

i don't love you like that,
not like heatache and valentines day
but i love you like the moon loves the sun
and the sun loves the stars
and how i love the setting sun,
and it would be poetic for me you say
only from a distance
but that's not it
i could hear you talking for hours, and i would still crave your voice but
i don't love you like kings and queens and all those
nonsense fairytale bullshit.
i love you
like the earth loves nature,
and hates us, as we hate it.

i love you like a friend,
pulled out like a purple moon
and stretched like a silver lining.
you are everything
you are warmth
you are summer vacation
the best part of the year.
where you slip into my hand
and we eat dollar pizza
because we're
gods
don't you know?

lebōi muki, ō muki?

i hope -
do you ever
do that
anymore -
i hope -
you are
full on anything
but moonshine
and battery acid tears
sleep well

(keep your lovelies, they stop being lonely after the sun sets.)