The hospital corridor is stuffy and the air has an undertone of bleach. The walls are magnolia and are scraped in places from the hundreds of trolleys that bumped into them. The pictures on the walls are benign prints of uplifting scenes and above the double doors are large blue plastic signs with areas of the hospital that lies ahead.

On the private ward the atmosphere was completely different. The air had a perfumed scent and the seats were plush. Every surface was dustless. The nurses were unhurried and the moved with a serene purposefulness from room to room on their rounds. There were vases of flowers and beautiful framed pieces of art on the walls. In the corridor was a water dispenser and in most rooms could be heard the noise of a television.

"How are you doing, Mr. Tolentino?" Nakangiti kong tanong sa isa sa mga pasyente ko nang bisitahin ko ang silid nito.

"Okay naman, Doc. Buhay pa naman." Masaya nitong tugon, ang asawa nitong si Mrs. Tolentino na nakaupo sa gilid nito'y agad na umalma.

"Ano ka ba naman, Fidel! Buhay at matagal ka pang mabubuhay! Uuwi pa tayo sa bahay, kaya magpagaling ka na." Masungit nitong sabi sa asawa.

"Beatrice, naman. Ang sungit sungit mo, mahal." Patuloy na pag-tawa ng mister.

"Ikaw naman kasi, noon ko pa naman sayo sinasabing walang buting dulot yang sigarilyo hindi ka nakikinig! Tignan mo tuloy ngayon kung nasaan ka!"

Mr. Tolentino was diagnose for having a lung cancer at seventy seven years old. We run some tests like imaging, sputum cytology and biopsy to get a clear result. Hindi simpleng ubo ang sakit nito, it has everything to do with all the smoke intake he had during his younger years.

In some cases, patients may choose not to undergo treatment. For some instance, they may feel that the effect of treatment will outweigh the potential benefits. And Mr. Tolentino doesn't want to go under surgeries anymore, he said he's too old for that, and all he ever wanted to do is to spend days with his loving wife.

Patuloy ang padin ang pagtatalo ang mga ito, medyo may kakulitan rin kasi si Mr. Tolentino. I remember the other day, his wife told me that they had been married for fifty seven years. She said, she was just nineteen then. Both so in love and in a hurry for creating a wonderful future together.

I was nineteen when I got pregnant and opted to marry Aidan. I didn't marry him because I was pregnant, I married him because I couldn't think of anyone worth spending my future days with. But I've thrown it away, I've thrown him away.

Muli kong nabalikan ang pag-uusap namin kaninang umaga nang sabihin ko rito ang tungkol sa annulment.

"Annulment, Paris?" Hindi makapaniwalang nilingon ako nito, it took a few seconds before his lips curved in a mocking smile. "Why? Is he asking for your fucking hand now?"

"Aidan-"

"No fucking way, Paris Amanda." Hindi niya ikinaila ang pag-guhit ng galit sakanyang mga mata habang mariin itong nakatitig sakin. "Have you ever consider our son? Huh? Do think I'd let you expose my three year old son in this kind of nonsense? No way, Paris. No way. If you fucking want an annulment, go annul yourself because I'm telling you again, there's no fucking way I'm gonna do it with you."

I was stoned for a moment then, he was mad. No, he's furious. I've known Aidan for being gentle, sweet and always understanding, but that was then and this is now. Gone with the Aidan who do as I please, he's now cold and distant, he almost never speak to me, only if needed. And I understand, I've hurt him. His ego. His pride. His heart.

Sandali pa akong nakipagkwentuhan sa mag-asawang Tolentino bago ako bumalik sa office, I feel like, I'm not myself today. Hindi ko na lolokohin pa ang sarili ko, Aidan and his words bothers me.

Romee is right, Aidan doesn't want an annulment. But what does he want then?

I was having lunch alone in the corner table of the hospital's cafeteria when Dr. Skeet Maximus came over to sit with me, ni hindi na ito nagpaalam kung maaari ba itong maupo. The illegitimate son of Dr. Seidon Maximus. He's probably seven years older than me, but I know him, isip bata ang isang ito.

"Walang lasa 'yang kinakain mo, Doctora." Ngumisi ito habang inaayos ang chicken stew sa plato niya.

"Natikman mo?" I rolled my eyes. "Mind your own food."

"Sungit mo, di ka naman maganda." Bulong pa nito na sadya rin namang ipinaririnig sakin. "Nakilala mo na ba yung bagong doctor? He's practicing his residency rin, Cardio."

"I'm not interested, Maximus." Walang pakialam kong sagot sa kwento nito bago tumayo na at umaktong aalis. "You enjoy your lunch, Doc."

Iniwan ko na roon si Skeet na parang tanga na patawa-tawa pa, I rather call Romee and spend my free time talking with her. At iyon nga ang ginawa ko nang makabalik ako sa opisina ko, iknwento ko kay Romee ang lahat ng sinabi ni Aidan sakin kaninang umaga.

"See?! I told you! Annulment isn't the solution to everything!" I can even sense her smiling from ear to ear. "C'mon, P! Patch things up with your husband. Ask him what he want and if you think you can give it then it's better!"

"Ro, hindi ganoon kadali iyon-"

"Magiging madali kung pag-uusapan niyo! Ano ba Paris? I don't wanna witness another version of my Lion Lynx. You tell me, why do you think their annulment hasn't been processed? It's years."

"Because of dad?"

"Because they don't really want it. Do you think if mom really wants it she wont be getting it? Mom can do all the impossibles we both know that! But the thing here is, hindi man natin alam ang rason why she filed annulment, I know that she doesn't really want it. I believe that she loves our father so much. If she doesn't, then where is she now? Hindi ba't nasa Monteguerro? Sinundo siya ni daddy from New York at naisama siya pauwi, all because, gusto niya. We both know mom, hindi mo siya mapapagawa ng bagay na ayaw niya." Mahabang litanya nito. "All I'm saying here, Paris is, pareho nating alam na hindi mo naman talaga gustong hiwalayan si Aidan and don't you dare deny that fact on me. And he doesn't want that too-"

"Because he cares for our son-"

"Because he cares for you. Because he want to stay with you and stay married to you." Mariin nitong putol sa sinasabi ko. "Huwag mong pangunahan si Aidan, Paris. Remember what you did to him? You broke his heart-"

"I broke mine too,"

"I know, kaya nga sana wag niyong idamay ang anak niyo. Don't break Ricos' heart, Paris."

After that talk with Romee lalo lamang akong sinalakay ng iba't ibang kaisipan. Si Aidan, all that happened to us. Lahat naman ng narinig ko mula kay Romee ay tama, she's right, I wanna stay married to Aidan for the rest of my life, but I don't wanna jail him in this kind of marriage.

He might find someone better, someone who can love him as he deserves. Bit why does the though of him finding someone hurts me? Yeah, I could never fool myself. I love Aidan. I love him then. And I still love him now.

Isang marahang katok ang nagpaangat sakin mula sa swivel chair, I fixed my coat and was ready to greet the person who's behind the white door.

"Hello, Paris."

A small gasp came off my mouth, I watched him step inside my office. In his coat, even with a stethoscope around his neck. He slightly pushed the door close with a smile on his lips.

"Miss me?" He asked.

"Wendell?" I frowned in disbelief. "What are you doing here..." hindi ko na natapos pa ang sinasabi ko nang maalala ang knikwento sakin ni Skeet kanina. "Oh my God! You're the cardiologist, Maximus was talking about!"

Isang malutong na halakhak ang isinagot nito sakin bago mayabang na nagkibit-balikat. "Well, what can I say? I was hired."

Natatawang inirapan ko ito bago imwestra ang silya sa tapat ng aking lamesa. "Have a seat."

Naupo ito roon, ako nama'y bumalik saking swivel chair. He's looking at me, smiling. Kung hindi pa ako sanay na palagi itong ganoon ay baka kinilabutan na ko, but Wendell had always been like that.

"So, how are you? I thought you're taking your residency in Netherlands?"

"Change of hearts. I thought of doing it here, instead. Mondragon General Hospital is quite know for it's world class services. I doubt if there's a hospital in my country who could beat it." Nakita kong inabot nito ang maliit na angel figurine na nakapatong saking lamesa, his fingers played there, doon na rin nalipat ang mga mata nito. "How are you, Paris?"

"I'm good." I said with a smile.

Wendell is a good friend of mine. He's my colleague, we went to the same university together. He helped me adjust to changes, and had stayed beside me when I needed someone the most..

"So, how are you adjusting in our country? It's way too different from New York." I said. "You should start learning our language, you'll be staying here for some period of time making it your social responsibility."

"I know," he chuckled. "I've learned a few from the helper I hired."

"Oh, really?" I cocked him a brow, mayabang naman itong ngumisi. "Okay, let me hear it."

"Megendey, Paris." Ngising-ngisi pa nitong sabi.

Natawa naman ako. "It's maganda not megendey!"

"Just the same!" He muttered. "Pretty! Alright? Pretty!"

Patuloy parin akong natawa, Wendell will always be pikon. "Try harder."

"I will! And I swear, I might even right a poem for you." Maaskad parin nitong sabi.

Ilang sandali pa kaming nag-kwentuhan ni Wendell nang bumukas ang pinto ng aking opisina, there's not a knock I heard and all because it was Aidan who's standing on the open door.

He stepped in, ang mga mata nito'y nakapako kay Wendell. Galit ang siyang nakita ko doon, tumayo ako saking upuan nang ipinid nito pasara ang pinto. He walked towards me, suddenly, his expression changed. His hardened feature, softened.

"Aidan..."

He went near me and encircled his arm on my waist, dragging me close to him. He kissed the side of my head and smiled at me. "I'm picking you up, dinner at your parent's."

Tahimik pa nitong sinamyo ang aking buhok. "S-si Ricos?"

Binalingan ko si Wendell na tahimik lamang na nakamasid saming mag-asawa.

"Nakasalubong namin si Tito Dave, kinuha. Daanan nalang daw natin sa office niya." Napasinghap ako nang abutin ng kamay nito ang aking panga, turning my head to him, making me look at him. "I miss you the whole day,"

And before I knew it, his lips captured mine. Not in a simple peck, but in a possessive type of kiss. As if owning me.

He held the small of my back to keep me in place as he deepened the kiss, I was too weak to protest, but I still gathered a little strength to discreetly push him.

He chuckled softly and pulled me in an embrace. "You're still shy, baby?"

Nakita kong binalingan nito si Wendell.

"Also practicing residency here, eh?" Tuya iyon, pero pinagpapasalamat ko na hindi iyon pinatulan ni Wendell.

"Yeah, Mr. Castañeda. Today is my first day here, actually." Kaswal nitong sagot.

"Of all the hospitals in the world, I wonder why here..." mas lalo akong inilapit ni Aidan sakanya, he reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers holding it as if no one could tear us apart.

"MGH is one of the best." Simpleng sabi ni Wendell bago ito tumayo. "Anyway, Paris. I still have something to do, I gotta go. See you around."

Tinanguan nito si Aidan na nanatili lamang na nakatitig sakanya.

Papalabas na ito nang muling magsalita si Aidan.

"Have a heart to lock the door for us, y'know."

Isang tango lamang ang tinugon nito bago pag-bigyan si Aidan at tuluyan na kaming iwan. Doon ako pinakawalan ni Aidan, the anger in his eyes is now clearly visible.

"So, that Wendell is here." Naiiling nitong sabi. "Hindi pa rin tapos, Paris? Mula New York hanggang dito susundan ka pa rin?"

"Aidan, look, I've no idea that he's here. Ang alam ko'y babalik siyang Netherlands for his residency, I'm also surprised to see him here-"

"Oh, really?" Nakakaloko ako nitong nilingon. "And you, asking for an annulment earlier today is just a coincidence and wasn't planned at all. You think I'd believe that?"

Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi sa agad na pag-sikdo ng sakit saking dibdib. I'm telling the truth. But yeah, he's right. How would he believe me?

"Is this why you want annulment, Amanda?" Tila kulog na bumalot sa loob ng silid ang tinig nito.

"Aidan, hindi. I was thinking about you, kaya ko iyon naisip-"

"Bullshit, Paris! Since when did you start caring about me? Thinking about me, huh?" Patuyang umangat ang isang sulok ng labi nito, I saw pain in his eyes, tila iyon patalim na tumutusok diretso sa dibdib ko. "Bakit hindi dati? Bakit hindi mo ko dati naisip? Bakit ngayon?"

I can feel my eyes begins to water, I can't bear seeing him this hurt. Seeing him this broken.

"Walang annulment, Paris Amanda. Naiintindihan mo? You're not getting it and you'll never gonna get it."

Mariin nitong sabi bago ako talikuran, tumingala ito na para bang hirap na hirap sa sitwasyon. He washed his face with his hand and faced me again. He's calmer now, yet still dangerous.

"No more cheating, not under my watch."

•••
twitter: @frappauchinowp